✎ Issue 33: Last Love
Scandalicious
✎ Lee Jinki ✎
"Kamsahamnida!" I wave to the audience, smiling as wide as possible, thanking them for attending our performance tonight. "Saranghamnida, Shawol!"
Five of us leave the stage and head back to the backstage where we can clean our make ups before heading for another schedule. We need to attend a radio interview in less than two hours.
My days have been returned to normal as if there is nothing bad happened. Two weeks have passed since the night I talked with Hayeon, the night I came into the same understanding with Taemin, the night I realized what could be done and undone.
Our new mini album promotion is getting better and better by every week, a result that makes me happy. Though I have known already that this also means my life would be a mess like always, I don't complaint.
Besides it's the only one thing that can distract me from being the brokenhearted guy.
"Tell us, Taemin, what is your ideal type?" the host DJ asks the youngest one. The objective of this interview is to get us closer with our fans, especially new ones after the release of our mini album.
My heart skips a beat upon the question. I'm not the one to answer but it still makes me feel uneasy somehow.
Anxiety? Jealousy? I don't know.
"Still hasn't changed," Taemin chuckles softly and answers it right away. "A Noona it is. I always adore an older woman."
Just like his girlfriend, Taemin always has a way not to lie when people ask him. None of them ever lied about their relationship in a way people never expect of.
For example a magazine representative came to us three days ago and did a quick interview with us. Once the question about having a relationship rose, I couldn't help but to wonder what Taemin's answer would be.
"I would be really happy if I have one."
That's his answer and everyone assumed that he doesn't have a girlfriend when, in fact, he has a loving girlfriend who perfectly matches his ideal type, a Noona.
I am still the only one who knows his secretive relationship. Taemin convinced me that he would tell the others once it's the right time. I didn't ask when or why; I believed in him.
I can't deny that I actually envy him, for being loved by a girl I also love, for being such a good and honest guy that I can't be. How can I ever win from this young but strong little brother?
"Good job!" our manager pats my shoulder with wide grin. "Now, now, I have presents for you."
We just arrived at our apartment and we can have a break for four hours before heading to another schedule. I was thinking to have a quick sleep but the intention vanishes once I see what's in our manager's hand.
"Guess what?" he shows us four books with the title 'Shining SHINee, living in Shining World' in silver on the cover. "The limited edition will be released tomorrow and Hayeon-ssi sent these to you this morning!"
Putting aside the success of our new mini album, the biography book which is edited by Hayeon also climbs to the top lists of popular books nowadays. That's why the limited edition will be released for our fans.
The limited edition will give some additional information which are not included in the former edition.
"Only four books?" Minho talks out the curiosity I have in mind. "There are five persons here, Hyung."
"Arayo, ara," our manager hands over the books one by one, from Jonghyun to Minho, Key, and finally Taemin. He looks at me with a grin, "Hayeon-ssi said yours will arrive tonight, Onew."
Eh?
"Oh, the special of special edition?" Key teases with a smirk. "What is it? Hayeon chooses you over her boyfriend?"
For my surprise Taemin actually laughs along with the others. Doesn't he feel offended or else by the joke? It's his girlfriend we're talking about!
"Ani, she said she miscounted the total. That's all," our manager laughs. "She said sorry. Now take your rest time. Your night will be busy, boys."
Of course there is nothing of special treatment for me. If there is any, it will be for Taemin. What am I expecting?
✂ ✂ ✂
"Hyung," Taemin opens the door to my room slightly. He gives me a wide smile, "Are you asleep?"
I shake my head and sit up, telling him to step inside. It's almost midnight and our schedule has ended for today. It will start again on five tomorrow morning so mostly all of us are trying to have good rest now.
He gives me a book, the one I should receive this afternoon, "Here. It's yours."
"Oh, gomawo," I receive it and we exchange looks for a few seconds. "Taemin ah... Aren't you afraid?"
Taemin raises his eyebrow in confusion, "Of what?"
Of losing Hayeon if I keep being close with her. How I want to say that.
I heave a sigh and laugh upon my own foolishness, "Ani... Just forget it. I'll read this book now. Kamsaheyo, maknae."
He nods and walks to the door. Suddenly he stops when he is going to open it. Taemin glances at me, "Hyung, whatever happens, we'll always be family, but..."
"...I'll never give up on Hayeon," Taemin makes a peace sign with his fingers. "See you tomorrow, Hyung!"
"Yah!" I scold him playfully as he slips off my room. "Geonbangjige haengdong hajima!"
I have no idea what he means until I open the book and realize that there is something odd on the first page; the 'thanks to' section.
"This book is dedicated to my one and only first love, Lee Jinki.
For being the amazing leader of SHINee,
for being one of the best idols who never gives up,
for being Onew that we can be proud of.
Thank you.
Seo Hayeon."
I don't remember the others have special 'thanks to' sections like this. Do I miss something or...
Flipping to the next page, I read the introduction chapter. It starts with mine and I find one page which is not included in the former edition. I don't think it's included in whichever edition.
"First love. How many idols still remember and treasure their first loves? Onew is one of them.
Through years, Onew finally found his very first love. The one who gave him strength to keep going on for his dream, a lucky girl named Seo Hayeon.
Little did he know that he is also the girl's first love. Sounds like a dream but that's the truth. Though they never met each other, they fell in love with each other.
For Onew, the girl is one of the main reasons why he wanted to be a singer. As for the girl, Onew has showed her that everything would be better when it's her darkest time.
Therefore there will be no today's Onew if it's not because of Hayeon, he said. However there will be no strong Seo Hayeon if it's not because of him.
Each of them seeks for their own happiness in their own ways.
No matter how beautiful a first love is, it's the last love which matters the most. - Seo Hayeon"
A tear escapes my eyes once I finished reading the words. It's obvious that this is written for me on purpose.
It's a rejection yet I can't think of another kind and thoughtful rejection any girls could do other than this.
I never knew that I'm her first love but it doesn't matter anymore, like what she wrote.
"Seo Hayeon...," I cover my mouth, trying to prevent myself from crying my heart out. "Nega bogosipeumyeon eotteoke chamji?"
Last love.
No one needs to tell me who her last love is now.
__________
Glossary #33
- Geonbangjige haengdong hajima (건방지게 행동하지마) : Don't be so arrogant.
- Nega bogosipeumyeon eotteoke chamji (네가 보고 싶으면 어떻게 참지) : What do I do if I start missing you?
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