✎ Issue 31: Talk
Scandalicious
✎ Seo Hayeon ✎
There was only one day I had the one thing I shouldn't think about my relationship with Taemin: breaking up with him so I could have a peaceful life, without worrying about scandal or else.
It's the night after he returned from filming "Immortal Song". He was really tired but he still came to visit me at my apartment.
My mood was not at the best state. One of the workers at my place screwed the whole plan for the Masquareade special edition. I held the responsibility as vice chief editor at the moment and I held the urge to blame anyone.
Having the pride of a good journalist even with a pen name, I still wanted to do the best in everything. The night fell and it's finally decided that we couldn't finish it in today.
I returned to my apartment, feeling pissed off but I couldn't throw the tantrum. My article as exLibris was in pending status now due to this problem and I hated this kind of situation.
"Jagiya?" Taemin greeted me once I opened the door. His face beamed but I just put a straight expression. "What took you so long tonight? How is work?"
Things were not good for me and I almost snapped at him but he tilted his head and gave me a kiss on forehead, "I have prepared ramen. Let's eat it together, Jagiya."
The anger disappeared to nowhere in a split of second upon his bright, innocent smile. I was ashamed of myself, feeling so small despite our age difference between us.
He was only nineteen years old but I was so immature compared to him. His work was harder than mine, his life was more difficult than mine, and here I was, complaining just because of one simple task.
Maybe I was not the right one for him.
"Hayeon?" Taemin brushes my cheek gently with his fingers. "Gwaenchana?"
I just nodded randomly, telling him that I needed to take the shower first before dinner. Even the cold water didn't make me feel better and the thought just filled my mind.
Break up. Was it a good decision to make?
After I finished showering, Taemin was resting himself on the sofa. His eyes were close and I knew he was sleeping; he was so tired but why did he still come here even when I didn't ask him to come?
On the table, he already prepared the hot ramen, completed with two glasses of tea for us. I sat next to him carefully, making sure that he would not wake up because of me.
"Lee Taemin...," I stared at his innocent sleeping face, feeling guilty and grateful at the same time, for having such a loving boyfriend ever. "Mianhaeyo..."
Taemin flinched a little and he opened his eyes to look at me. He rubbed his eyes and quickly straightened his body, "Ah... Mian, Jagiya, I was... Mianhae, let's ea-"
Without waiting for him to finish his words, I leaned closer to him and landed a quick kiss on his lips. I pulled away with red cheeks, "Gomawo..."
"E-Eh?" he stammered, still in shock because of the sudden kiss. "W-Waeyo, Hayeon ah?"
Thank you for loving me. How I really wanted to tell him but I didn't want to make him worried.
"For the ramen," I took his hand with mine, shifting closer to him so I could rest my head on his shoulder. "Let me stay like this for a while first."
He didn't ask my reason. Instead he returned the embrace of my hand and kissed my hair, "Saranghaeyo, Jagiya."
It's the last day I ever thought of breaking up with Taemin... and the day I realized that losing him would be one of my greatest fear.
✂ ✂ ✂
My head aches and I feel like throwing up. Right, I drank a glass of cocktail which I snatched from Taemin at the party. What happened after that?
I was drunk. Then where am I now?
With that thought, I open my eyes slowly and find two men sitting side by side. It takes seconds for me to realize who they are, "Tae... Taemin? Onew-ssi?"
The younger one quickly stands up and comes to my side, helping me to sit up properly, "Gwaenchana, gwaenchanayo... Here. Drink the water first."
Onew looks at me with worry in his eyes while Taemin makes sure that I'm alright. He gives me his genuine smile after I finished with the drink, "You know that you shouldn't drink alcohol, right?"
I don't answer him. My eyes are set on Onew, remembering the last conversation we had: I have confessed that Taemin is my boyfriend.
The leader seems to understand what I'm thinking because he finally speaks up, "Taemin? Can I... Can you let me talk with Hayeon-ssi for a moment? Alone?"
Taemin opens his mouth to say something but he closes it again and nods slightly, "I'll wait outside. Just call me after you're done."
"Taemin, mia-" I want to apologize for making his day and night so troublesome but Taemin gives me a warm gaze as if he wants to tell me that everything will be alright.
He walks out from my apartment, leaving me alone with Onew.
After seconds of silence, I break the ice with a question, "Hwanasyeonayo, Onew-ssi?"
He looks at me as if I just said something funny. Onew shakes his head slowly and answers honestly, "Hwa annasseo."
"Mianhaeyo, Onew-ssi. I didn't mean to lie or fool you," I apologize to him, knowing that he has feeling for me but there is no way I can return it; my heart never changes.
For my surprise Onew shakes his head again and smiles at me, "Mianhae hal kkeotkajineun eopsseo. You never lied to me anyway. You said the truth when we asked whether if you have a boyfriend. You told us that he's not a journalist and it's true. When did you lie, Hayeon-ssi?"
I drop my gaze sadly, still feeling guilty. Onew is a really good person and I know he must be heartbroken. His own groupmate hid a secret from him, my used-to-be company posted a scandal about him, and I can't return his feling.
"Hayeon-ssi," Onew calls out my name, still keeping a smile on his face. "Taemin told me everything."
Eh?
"It will be a lie if I say I'm alright because I'm completely not but...," Onew scratched the back of his head. "I think I would do the same if I was him."
Onew stands up and pats my head like an older brother would do, "I will never regret that I fall in love with you, Hayeon-ssi. Be happy with Taemin."
I look up at him and he bends down a little until his lips meet my hair. They barely touch my skin though.
"Gomawo, Hayeon-ssi...," he whispers, "...for letting me love you."
"Onew-ssi...," I murmur his name as he straightens his body and our eyes meet. "Jeongmal gomawo, Onew-ssi."
Without saying another word, he steps away, walking out from my apartment. I close my eyes, trying to get rid the guilt inside.
The footsteps get my attention and I turn around to face Taemin. He stops and tilts his head slightly, "Hayeon..."
My heart skips a beat upon his voice. Why did he call me with my name instead of 'jagiya' like what he used to do?
__________
Glossary #31
- Hwanasyeonayo (화나셨나요) : are you angry?
- Hwa annasseo (화안났어) : I'm not angry.
- Mianhae hal kkeotkkajineun eopsseo (미안해 할 것까지는 없어) : There is nothing to be sorry about.
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