[April 2010]

[Mi Sun POV]

I can’t take this anymore!

I feel weak, stupid. I feel completely useless. This is me, just idiotically waiting for something. Waiting for what? I don’t even know. I think it’s because I don’t even remember anymore. This is why I feel stupid. I’m waiting for nothing. And because of this, I got deeper and deeper into the dark depths of this hell. It doesn’t even feel like I’m underwater anymore.

I’m just in the dark. No empty room and no harsh waters. Just darkness. A kind of darkness that seems like no other word can describe this except hell. I must be in hell…

I’m tired of feeling like this. I’m tired of feeling like I’m some damsel in distress, to hell with that. I look up. It’s only pure darkness above me. I have a lot to go through to see the surface anytime soon. I better get going. I start running, climbing, jumping; I’m doing whatever it takes to see that surface again.

I’m fighting back, and this time, nothing is going to get in my way…

~O~O~

“Doctor! Doctor! She’s waking up! Look!”

I groan silently. Can that man shut up? Aish, he sounds so childish. I keep my eyes closed. And, frankly, I can’t even open them. My eyelids are so heavy.

Come on, Mi Sun. Just fight back a little harder, a little longer, my mind whispers to me. I try to move my hands. I can’t. I try to squirm my body. It won’t budge. Can’t I just continue sleeping?

You can do this, Mi Sun. Open them, My mind says once more. Open them…

As if the air was knocked back into me, my eyes flicker open. I did it. I’m back. I fought.

I resurfaced.

“She’s awake.” A voice much deeper than the one I heard earlier said.

I blink a couple of times and simply stare up, not bothering to cover my eyes from the blinding light. The light… I never thought I’d see it again. I’m glad to be hearing things again as well. I turn my head left and right, happy and stunned to see the world so bright and clear again. That’s when I realize where I really am.

“Eh? Why am I at the hospital?” I wonder out loud.

How can I get from the dark waters to the hospital in just one blink? This is weird. Was I really underwater? Now that my common sense is back, I wonder if I was just imaging it all. Maybe it was a dream or maybe a nightmare?

“Mi Sun-ah…”

A man with brown eyes and a husky voice enters my vision. He eyes were full of happiness, and his brilliant smile showed it off. He enfolds me in a hug. I feel him bury his face in my hair while I stay still, looking straight ahead. Who is this man? Why is he hugging me? I don’t even know him…

“I missed you so much.” He whispers in my ear.

I can feel my whole body move now. I take advantage of it and gently push the man off of me. His smile was still intact as he sits down on the bed. He holds my hand on both of his. I slowly take my hand away from his grasp, giving him a weird look. Who is this guy? And why is he acting as if he knows me?

“Do I know you?” I ask.

The man’s smile finally drops.

~O~O~

[Daesung POV]

“Do I know you?”

I laugh and nudge Mi Sun with my elbow, like I always used to do. “Come on, Mi Sun. Stop playing around.” I grab her hand once more and bring it up to my lips. I smile as I stare into those brown eyes. Ah, how I miss seeing them so much. “Of course you know me.”

Mi Sun gives me a weird look. She slowly pulls her hand away from me again. Why does she keep doing that? “No. I’m sorry, but I don’t know you.”

I laugh, a little weaker this time. “Come on, Mi Sun. You know me. I’m Kang Daesung, your—“ I stop once I see her face give me her confused look. She furrows her eyebrows together and her head to the side, her bottom lip sticking out a little. It was a signal to show that she’s confused.

“I don’t know any Kang Daesung.” She murmurs as she looks at me up and down. “You don’t look familiar to me at all.”

I don’t even try to crack a smile anymore.

“Will you please stop faking?” I ask through gritted teeth.

She meets my eyes, making my insides melt just like before. “I’m not faking. I’m telling the truth. I don’t know you.” She says each word carefully.

I blink and simply look at her. She really doesn’t remember me... I blink once more, holding back the tears forming. I reach for her hand again.

And she moves away from me.

“Mi Sun-ah. Can you not remember me?” I ask, my voice going hoarse.

She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know you. How do you know my name anyway?”

Someone places a hand on my shoulder. I look up and meet Seunghyun hyung’s eyes. He squeezes my shoulder, comforting me. I look back at Mi Sun. She glances between hyung and me.

“I…” I choke. “I just heard the doctors say your name.”

“Oh, well, why am I here in the first place?” She asks, looking around.

“You really can’t remember me?” I ask instead of answering her question.

She shakes her head. “No. I really don’t know you.”

I rise up from her hospital bed. “Then I don’t think I have the right to tell you why you’re here.” I start walking towards the door.

“Daesung-shi.”

I pause, my hand hovering over the doorknob. Tears well up in my eyes as I hear her call me formally. No remembrance. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. “Come on, hyung. We should leave.”

“But…”

I walk out before hyung could say another word. I hear him calling after me, but I don’t stop walking. I take a right turn and take the stairs. I hear hyung’s footsteps behind me. Right when I get to the first floor, my knees give out.

“Daesung!” I hear hyung shout.

I sit in the floor and lean my back against the cold wall. Hyung sits down next to me. I look straight ahead as I feel hyung’s stare burning a whole right through me. But I continue to ignore him as big, fat tears start to roll down my cheeks.

“She doesn’t remember me, hyung.” I croak.

Seunghyun hyung pats my back. “It’s unbelievable. Maybe she just momentarily forgot. Maybe she’ll remember after a few days. I mean she just woke up from a coma. Maybe—“

“Maybe what?” I snap. I start to shake as my tears endlessly continue to roll down. “Didn’t you see her face? Didn’t you see the way she looked at me when I told her my name?” My head falls into my hands. “Didn’t you see that there was only confusion in her deep loving brown eyes? There was no such love in it at all…”