UNCONTROLLED.

SAHEE.

I was too afraid to go to school.

But I was forced to go.

I couldn't decide on anything anymore.

I couldn't decide if I go to the right or the the left.

I couldn't decide what I wanted to say.

Everything was controlled by the scientists.

I arrived in class on time.

I saw Baekhyun, my table neighbor, who looked at me.

He looked so worried and his eyes followed everything I did.

"Where were you yesterday?" I could feel that he tried to sound calm.

My head turned. "I was at the hospital. I was sick."

My voice was deep and sounded so ... dismissive.

I am so sorry, Baekhyun, please forgive me.

He looked hurt and turned to his paper again.

Please forgive me.

I never raised my hand to say the answer, because I knew that I knew every answer.

But this time I couldn't decide on that and everytime something was asked I immediately raised my hand.

I felt so stupid and I think the teachers were getting a bit annoyed too. Also the students.

In the lunch break I wanted to go to the oak tree so badly. 

I wanted to see Lu Han and say sorry.

I wanted to hug him and ask him for forgiveness.

"Sahee?" I turned around and looked into Lu Han-oppa's face.

"Yes?" my voice sounded so weird. 

Lu Han looked a bit confused. "I was worried. Where were you?"

I want to tell you so badly, but I just can't. "At the hospital to get a check-up."

Lu Han just looked at me, still thinking. "But why didn't you pick up my calls?"

"The battery was low." I wanted to hug him and hold his warm hand.

Please, oppa, please forgive me. I didn't want this to happen.

"So, will you still live at my apartment?" He looked so sad and hurt. His eyes.

"No, I'll go home." I was crying so hard inside. Oppa ... please ...

He didn't ask anymore. 

Oppa ... please ...

Lu Han-oppa ... I am so sorry.