REALITY.

I was in love with Lu Han since I was in last year of elementary school. 

It was love at the first sight, at least for me.

I loved how he looked like, his eyes captured my heart.

I loved the way he spoke, his soft calming voice.

I loved him.

But he never wanted me.

I went through many relationships.

They were all meaningless for me, because it was just pastime to forget.

To forget about the pain.

The pain he didn't want me and will never want me.

He never had a girlfriend, but I knew that a lot of girls liked him.

They liked his innocent, cute but at the same time mature looks.

With the time I began to realize, that he didn't want a girl like me.

Not a girl who is y and hot. Not a girl who melts the heart of boys through her looks.

He wanted a girl who is just as innocent as him.

He liked girls with aegyo, that's what everybody calls this crap.

I'll never be cute or innocent.

As the time passed, I could only watch him from afar,

while he made friends with the innocent girl, Minah.

How they acted together, how they looked at each other,

it lets my heart ache so much.

Even if I was surrounded by a lot of guys, I didn't want any of those.

I just wanted him, but he didn't want me.

He already had her and they'll live happily ever after.

And I will stand here forever watching them and I'll die without any love.

My love for him had never faded away.

Since I knew it was hopeless,

I wanted to try my luck.

How stupid can a person be.

I met Lu Han under the oak tree in the center of the campus, since I knew he would spend all his time there.

His friend Minah wasn't there. Minah, the innocent one. In any other story, she would be the main character.

"Hi Lu Han," I said and almost lost my voice. "How are you?"

He looked up from his book and gave me a smile. "I'm fine. And you're Chaeri, right?"

I nodded and was happy he knew my name. "I wanted to tell you something."

Lu Han gave me a slightly confused look. 

"I am in love with you since elementary school!" I said quickly and looked down.

"Oppa!!" I heard and Minah showed up. "Hi Oppa! And ... Chaeri."

"I'm sorry, Chaeri," he said. 

I could hear them walk away. Some people around me murmured and pointed at me.

"Chaeri was rejected by Lu Han!" I could hear someone shout.

A group of people gathered around me and laughed. "! No one wants to be with you."

I felt how tears wanted to come out. I shook my head and pushed those people aside.

I just ran away. 

Nobody wanted me.

Nobody loved me.

Not really.

I didn't care about life.

It was nothing.

I was always just a load of bull.

Time to leave.

I could hear some people screaming.

A car crashing. Me falling.

Me dying.

.

.

No one would cry, if I die.

.

Nothing to hold on to.

.

Let's die.

.

I opened my eyes.  Click.

What happened? Where am I? Who am I?

I couldn't move. 

______________________

i re-wrote it a bit ~~~