69
Defence
Yoona’s eyes went wide then filled with tears as Taecyeon shot up from his seat and raced at the doctor grabbing his collar.
“Don’t tell us that! Go back in there and revive her! She isn’t dead! That girl’s escaped death 10 times! She can’t die! Go and bring her back to me!” Taecyeon screamed.
“Sir, sir,” the nurses and the doctor tried as they pried his fingers off. “Her body will be transferred to the morgue in a few hours. You can visit her then.”
As the doctor and the nurses walked away Taecyeon dropped to his knees. Tears dropped from his eyes as he pounded against the ground.
Two hours later they were allowed into the morgue with the specialist. It was a small room full of light but smelly air…air that smelled of some kind of slick death. Victoria’s body was covered with a clear white blanket.
“You have twenty minutes before we talk to her family about how to do the funeral process,” the specialist indicated.
Taecyeon felt his heart die slowly as the specialist uncovered Victoria’s sleeping face. Yoona turned her face away recalling her last moments with her friend. Tears were threatening to fall.
Taecyeon slowly stepped toward the body and hesitantly reached a hand out to touch her but stopped midway. Was it ok to touch her?
His legs felt weak, his heart rushed, his blood slowed, and time felt frozen. It felt like a morning where Victoria was sleeping in late and he had just finished cooking breakfast and was about to wake her up. If only Victoria would wake up. But why…then…was this environment that should have been his apartment so different? Why was he hearing a woman crying in the background? The past month flashed in front of his eyes. He’d drove into Victoria, had given her a home, had argued with her, became the damsel in distress in a fight to lure Victoria out, and he reconciled with her on their first date when everything had somehow gone smoothly without argument.
His lips trembled. Why didn’t he realize that something had been different from the moment she’d suggested to have a date? Why didn’t he know!? The image of her flailing hair while she chased his car onto the street blurred his eyes before he realized he was not driving nor was he in his apartment, but standing in the underground morgue with Yoona sobbing like a wailing child behind him.
A leg moved forward before he collapsed before the stroller-like bed in front of him landing on both knees. Heavy shaking hands appeared before him and reached for her icy cold arm. The fear swept through him that she had forever left him to suffer his loneliness alone.
“You…you’re going to wake up any second now and look at the dresser then come out to eat with me, won’t you?” he questioned. “This is your idea of a sick joke…of making me fear you. That’s right. You’re doing this to make me afraid of you.”
“Taecyeon-ah…” Yoona’s voice seemed distant and far.
“But I won’t be afraid of you. I won’t be afraid of you. Don’t you remember when I chose to believe in you no matter what you told me? You’re so good at making me feel useless. The night in the hospital I promised to protect you but you didn’t even give me that chance. Why are you so mean? Don’t you want to argue with me? I won’t get mad so just open your eyes. Please.”
“Taecyeon-ah…” Yoona’s voice seemed even farther now.
“Why didn’t you take me with you?” Taecyeon asked, a tear falling down his face. “I thought we were mutual…why did you lie to me when I loved you so much? What am I supposed to do with your things…how am I supposed to live without you? Why did you leave me?”
He turned his head down and silently sobbed beside her.
“Won’t you wake up?”
- - - - -
The Chief walked out of his small car and headed up the walk along with Yoona’s father. It would be hard for anyone to believe how such a rounded man was able to fit into his small Camry.
Yoona looked up when the Chief walked in and took a seat across from her. It hadn’t been a day since Victoria’s death but everything had happened so fast that Yoona couldn’t yet get a grasp on reality. In order to get Victoria a proper burial and in order to bury the man Victoria had been fighting, Yoona needed to get in touch with Victoria’s parents but she didn’t want to carry the news to them. It was too heartbreaking.
“What’s going on, Yoona?” the Chief asked worried. “Your father says you haven’t said a word and there’s been news that you rounded your gun while on break.”
Yoona felt tears well up in her eyes, “Please help me, Chief. Please, help me.”
She felt her mother put her arm around her in comfort but it didn’t help, especially not after she felt her friend’s body go cold in her arms.
During that afternoon, well particularly almost the whole day, Yoona explained to them about the assassination and Victoria’s kidnap issue and about how she’d discovered Victoria during the last month. All other details she’d left out.
Yoona had never realized how tiring it had been during the past night until she had finished her story. All her energy had been drained from crying and more crying.
Her father and Chief found it both unbelievable and astounding. To set out a search for the base and search for missing children would be a new assignment for the FBI but for now her father and Chief had promised to break the news to Victoria’s parents, and they were to keep any news of her life at the base a secret.
Yoona clutched onto the photo book of her and Victoria to sleep that evening.
- - - - -
When dawn broke out her father and the Chief met up at the station. From there the two drove toward the Song’s mansion. Mrs. Kim who opened the door led the cops into the home feeling her heart sink at the sight of the two men. In front of Victoria’s aged parents they apologetically bowed and spilled the news. Tomorrow they would go verify her body at the morgue and set a date for their beloved daughter’s funeral.
- - - - -
“Here are the reports for this week, sir,” his secretary placed the binder on Donghae’s desk. “Oh…and Ok Taecyeon has skipped work again.”
Donghae looked up, “What do you mean Ok Taecyeon?”
“Yes, sir. He hasn’t been in these past two days. I’ve called but he hasn’t picked up the phone.”
“I see,” Donghae said.
After Secretary Jung walked out he glanced at his phone and as if on response his phone rang. Picking up right away he recognized Yoona’s dry voice on the other end.
“Are you sick?” Donghae asked. “Are you ok?”
Yoona sniffled on the other line and cried a bit as she tried to regain herself.
“Yoona?” Donghae asked worriedly. “What’s going on?”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t relay the news to you sooner.” Yoona sobbed as she apologized. “Victoria passed away two nights ago.”
The phone slipped out of Donghae’s hand and on impulse he raced out of his office. The crying Victoria? The smiling Victoria? The clueless woman? No. It couldn’t be.
Racing his car through traffic he came to Taecyeon’s apartment.
- - - - -
He had been lifeless these past two days. He wasn’t even sure how he’d managed to survive in his lonely apartment. It felt superbly empty without Victoria around. He had lied on the bed where she’d been sleeping the past few days in hopes of retrieving any of her warmth but all he’d gained was a wasp of cold air. He watched the movie Windstruck to try to gain some remembrance of Victoria but none of it came to him. Now he sat on the couch going through her cookbook looking at each little note she’d scribbled down in neat handwriting. Their phones sat next to each other beside the cookbook.
The knock at the door didn’t catch his attention but at the sound of the man’s voice Taecyeon began to feel annoyed when he wouldn’t leave. Getting up he opened the door to find Donghae standing there. Without glancing at him Taecyeon turned around to sit back on the couch and stare at the cookbook.
He wasn’t aware of the fact that Donghae was gazing around his apartment now trashed with anything strewn across the floor. Victoria’s clothes lay in a pile on the couch next to Taecyeon and what Donghae noticed next was her cookbook. The cookbook he’d seen her looking through just a few days ago. His heart broke realizing that Victoria was no longer there.
The home felt empty, cold, and sullen. The liveliness that had existed whenever he came for Victoria had suddenly hid itself, hard to be found.
But the sight of Taecyeon being utterly useless irked him. Why when his own heart was throbbing was Taecyeon showing more grief than he? How could Taecyeon hurt more than he? It suddenly made him angry that Victoria had left them without a word. It upset him that her last words were I’m sorry and thank you.
“Is this your idea of grieving?” Donghae asked.
He didn’t respond.
“Do you think by doing this you can hang onto her forever?” he continued. “You can’t hold onto her forever. We all miss her, not just you. This isn’t your pain alone.”
He didn’t reply.
“You need to move on, Ok Taecyeon. You still need to make a living for yourself no matter how worthless it seems. Don’t you think Victoria would want the same?”
Taecyeon jumped up from where he sat and slammed his fist across Donghae’s face knocking him to the ground. Taecyeon grabbed him by the collar and picked him back up.
“Who do you think you are?! You have no single right to tell me what to do!” Taecyeon screamed dropping him back to the floor. “It’s your fault too! You should have said something sooner! I would have caught on sooner that something was wrong! Because of you I didn’t realize it!”
Donghae swiftly got up to his feet and also punched Taecyeon in the face, “How was I suppose to know that something was wrong when she hid everything behind her words?! Why is this all my fault?! You let her go…you let her…”
Taecyeon lunged toward Donghae and pushed him to the ground. “I didn’t…I didn’t…”
Tears brushed his eyes as he and Donghae wrestled on the ground. Donghae threw him off with a punch and in return Taecyeon pushed him back to the ground and sat on top of him. Grabbing Donghae’s shirt he pulled him up and held his tight fist in front of his eyes.
“But don’t you think…it’s unfair that only you and Yoona were there? Neither of you contacted me and waited till two days later to let me know of this,” Donghae told pain stricken. “How am I suppose to grieve when all of this is too shocking? Don’t you think Victoria would want me to look after the two of you who were closest to her? Because of you I have to hold my tears back.”
Taecyeon’s eyes welled up with more tears. He bit his lip as he let Donghae go also realizing that Victoria also loved this man before him. Getting up to his feet Taecyeon turned his back to Donghae.
“I don’t care if you cry or not,” Taecyeon said, “but you should have told me about why Victoria approached you right after she did. I wouldn’t have left her alone that day, I would have realized something was wrong when she was chasing my car…but now I have nothing left.”
Donghae turned away from Taecyeon feeling tears threaten to fall. The memory of Victoria crying to him was still so fresh against his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” Donghae apologized.
“I need to organize everything so why don’t you leave.” Taecyeon suggested.
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