62
Defence
Shutting her eyes Victoria fell asleep in the gym.
- - - - -
Yoona walked through the precious glass doors to find the reception desk empty of any bodyguard. Glancing around she stopped before the round desk and placed a hand on its counter as she spoke to the receptionist.
“Ah…hello there. Are you looking for the CEO?” the receptionist greeted.
“Is Ok Taecyeon in?” Yoona wondered.
Just as Yoona asked the question Taecyeon walked in through the door coming to an immediate pause when he saw her. A slight troubled expression overcame his face. He hadn’t prepared himself to speak to her just yet, nor had he expected her to come by at all.
Yoona watched the receptionist’s eyes move from her face to her left. It made her wonder, for a moment, if she’d caught the receptionist off guard with her question.
“He just returned from break,” the receptionist offered.
On instinct Yoona spun around to find Taecyeon standing no more than eight steps away from her. Finally seeing him in front of her felt like she hadn’t seen him in ages. It felt like seeing an old friend, an old lover she’d lost contact with. Tossing herself back to reality Yoona clutched onto her bag.
“How are you?” she asked.
“Good. You?”
Yoona would have uttered a smile but didn’t. “Well and not well. I’ve been waiting for you to contact me but I’ve come to the conclusion that you probably wouldn’t, and that’s why I’m here.”
Taecyeon didn’t deny what she’d said and he didn’t defend himself to say that Yoona’s assumption was wrong. That he would have called her some time soon, which was a complete lie. He’d never thought about contacting her.
“Yoona…” he started.
“No, I’m not going to wait. I don’t want this to become a matter in which I only have two options, to lose you as a friend or to become a couple with you. I don’t want one or the other,” she told straightforwardly, “I don’t want to beat around the bush anymore.”
Taecyeon swallowed the saliva in his mouth aware of the receptionist listening in on them. He couldn’t talk about their personal affair there in his workplace in front of a coworker. The last thing he needed would be rumors flying around.
Grabbing Yoona’s wrist he led her outside conscious of the stares he received from other business persons he was walking pass.
Yoona was conscious of the one fact that she was embarrassing him. Why had she chosen to go there in daylight? Because by evening Taecyeon would possibly be back at the apartment to keep Victoria company or he’d be back at her uncle’s place unwelcoming visitors.
It had to be there and then or she’d have to wait another month to speak to him. The issue of her confession had been heavily weighing her mind out and she was tired of waiting. All she wanted from him was a yes or no. Simple as that. Losing him over the confession wasn’t worth it. She hadn’t meant for him to feel uncomfortable or awkward.
Yoona just wanted to explain herself now.
Taecyeon let go of her wrist the moment they arrived before the lot near some trees which blocked them from view.
They were, at first, silent. Taecyeon’s eyes elsewhere, Yoona’s eyes on him.
“I understand the situation you’re in so sorry for abruptly coming to see you,” Yoona started breaking the awkwardly cold silence unraveling between them.
“I haven’t blamed you for anything,” he stated as if she’d accused him of being embarrassed of her.
“I want to talk to you. It might take some time. Are you willing to listen to me?” Yoona asked.
He couldn’t look at her. Yoona felt hurt because of that. It looked like he was struggling within himself and because of that she felt bad for some reason. As if she’d really pressured him.
“I will.”
Yoona found herself observing his facial expression, which was mixed with feelings of not wanting to be there and the need to talk to her quickly and leave. Should she judge him for being impatient with her or should she not blame him at all?
“If you’ve felt uncomfortable with what I said, then I don’t know what to say, but I’m sorry,” Yoona began.
“What’s there to be sorry for?” Taecyeon questioned, eyes on the ground. “That you confessed? Is that really something to be sorry for?”
Yoona thought he would have apologized in return.
“I know I’m treating you like a jerk,” he said, “I’m just confused. I thought for a long time…why things are the way they are, how they turned out like this. I don’t know, I’m lost. To be honest, I really liked you so that’s why…when you started speaking to me I took every chance I got to get closer to you.”
He paused.
“But that was all before Victoria’s existence had much more of an impact on us. And then somehow…it just became like this.”
Yoona was taken aback by surprise. It was almost difficult to look at his forlorn face. Taecyeon had had feelings for her since the beginning? Her head spun. Yes, why are things the way they are right now? If only someone could explain it all to her, it’d be easier to accept. Why was it so unfair?
“If none of this happened…if Victoria got away that one time, I would be able to hold you right now. But…your words…are hard for me to accept right now. It’s kind of difficult to listen when I already know that I can only see her…even when you’re in front of me, I can’t see you…not anyone else but her. She’s in my mind every single minute of the hour.”
Yoona felt the wind rush at her threatening to blow her over. The tears weren’t coming but the pain was visibly there.
“All in all…I turned around too late.” Yoona concluded. “Thank you, for being honest. It would have been worse to lose you as a friend.”
He slightly moved his eyes off the ground to look at her. It was a surprise to him when she outstretched a hand toward him.
“Would it hurt to give me a handshake for the sake of being friends?” Yoona asked with a smile.
- - - - -
Victoria walked out of the doctor’s office with the report that her wound was healing just perfectly. Donghae, as usual, was waiting for her by the chairs. He stood up immediately when she walked out.
“I’m all good. I told you I was doing fine,” Victoria said it in a ‘I told you so’ tone.
Donghae looked at her and smiled with a small laugh.
“What?” she asked.
“It’s just funny. You’re so childish trying to pick a fight over coming to the hospital,” Donghae explained.
Victoria eyed him and turned away to look straight ahead.
“Are you hungry? Want to eat something?” he suggested.
Victoria shook her head no, “You should go on back to the company. I can go back by myself.”
“Why? Is there something you want to do alone?” he wondered.
“If it makes you feel better, why don’t you drop me off at the apartment?”
The ride was a quiet, long one. It also felt as if Donghae was purposely driving slower so they had more time together. But Victoria didn’t want more time. She just wanted to head back and be alone.
When the car came to a stop in front of the apartment Victoria got out and felt her insides scream no when Donghae also stepped out. She turned and waited for him to head toward her and when he did, the first thing he attempted was to hold her hand. As soon as his hand touched hers Victoria pulled her hand back on impulse. Donghae looked at her startled and Victoria wasn’t sure of how to feel at that exact moment. She quickly averted her eyes elsewhere to avoid his confrontation.
“Sorry,” he apologized.
Victoria felt a pain of guilt envelope her. Why was he apologizing?
“I just wanted…” he started.
“No,” she interrupted, “don’t apologize. I’m going in first.”
With that she opened the door and headed inside.
- - - - -
Donghae watched the door close and remained in the same spot for a few more minutes. He didn’t have to confirm it nor ask it. Victoria already stepped out of his grasp and it was almost impossible to even try to take hold of her again. His heart felt painfully empty. He didn’t know what to do anymore.
- - - - -
Yoona sat with her knees huddled up to her chest on her bed. It’d been an extremely short day and she’d lost her appetite after she returned home. Without a meal she had easily retreated to her room for the night. Roaming mindlessly throughout the city did not ease her heart nor did it help her cheer up. Yoona knew that she was on her own.
History played its part in her mind.
They’d been waiting all day ever since they had returned from taking their swim at the lake nearby. The excited laughter of young children filled the air with a heavenly scent full of peace. While the others filed around the campfire, Yoona and Victoria had crept around the tents with s’mores in their hands.
“Miss Li’s in the bath. Do you think we should go now?” Victoria questioned watching Yoona the chocolate off her fingers.
“Going after everybody’s asleep is better. That way no one would hear us or catch us!” as always, Yoona was full of crazy excitement with the plan she’d drawn up during the day.
She had planned to go into the woods and look around just for the thrill of the darkness itself. However, Victoria had looked at her uncertainly.
“Ok,” the young girl gave in.
A good hour after everyone had filled their tents and the campfire had been killed, Yoona ped the tent where she, Victoria, and two other girls slept. The two of them scurried out quickly and quietly leapt out of their camp zone.
A dirt trail to the far right beyond some tall thin trees led them to a safe hiking zone, which they already explored earlier in the day. However, further down the hiking trail was another path that led them deeper into the woods. It had been covered by some dead tree trunks and thick shrubs. Yoona had been filled with so much excitement at the thought of going beyond the territory they were supposed to limit themselves from that she couldn’t wait to go back.
They stuck close to each other on the way there. Owls dominated the night sky with hoots and their wings. On the ground rodents crawled about. Though rodents were weren’t visible to the eye, Yoona’s sensitive ear could make out their four feet moving here and there in search of food on the ground that some kids had left behind.
The full moon was out looming over them brightly. Yoona felt as if she were a princess about to be honored at a royal ceremony - well that was how she felt under the full moon. Victoria slightly bumped into her when she came to an uncalled stop.
“Why? What’s wrong?” Victoria asked in a quiet whisper.
Yoona found herself staring at the tree trunks which seemed off from where they had been earlier in the day.
“Why are you whispering?” Yoona questioned looking over her shoulder at Victoria, who seemed weak from behind.
“I don’t know,” Victoria simply replied.
Of course, there had been no reason for the two of them to be whispering back and forth but something that night had clearly given them both the chills that called for a silent atmosphere.
A rough rustling entered their ears from underneath the shivering summer leaves.
Yoona took a step forward but Victoria pulled her back, “I think someone else is out here. We should go back before we get in trouble.”
Victoria was a wise child. She had grown up that way because her mother was a smart lawyer. She understood things way beyond her age. To differentiate between situations where she could laugh and shouldn’t laugh was something Yoona hadn’t understood in her youth. While pretty girls laughed at the ugly ones, Yoona often complied to laugh at the ugly girls and Victoria had never joined. Both she and Yoona were opposites. While Yoona was a rebel, Victoria had been the obedient type.
“What trouble?” Yoona pressed holding Victoria back by the arm.
She also felt that it was a bad idea to stay out but she couldn’t resist her curiosity of roaming freely once. Just once.
“Who else could be out here? It’s just us. Don’t let your imagination get to you,” Yoona persuaded, “just for five more minutes then we’ll head back. My daddy’s a cop, no one can hurt us.”
Yoona hated that look on Victoria’s face whenever she furrowed her brows. It made her feel bad as if she’d hurt Victoria somehow. Yoona had never been aware that that expression was the last she’d also see on her friend’s lovely face. And in the future when they met again, Victoria would never frown the same way.
They took two more steps forward when Yoona finally realized she should have heeded Victoria’s warning. Just ten feet before them they witnessed a man being slaughtered to his death. When the men noticed that they were being watched Yoona heard them whisper to each other. She knew she should have run, she should have grabbed Victoria’s hand and made a run for it but for some reason her feet stayed frozen in spot. And when the man charged at them Yoona, who had always had the quickest reaction, slowed from dodging.
A scream woke Yoona up when she went tumbling into the thick shrubs by the side. Scrambling to get up onto her legs she was in time to see Victoria being lulled up by the long hair she treasured most. It was then that Yoona realized her legs were shaking as well as her voice. It was most difficult to scream but it came at last when she saw 12 year old Victoria being lifted up in the air so easily. The man dropped Victoria onto the ground and looked over to see a black shadow arouse from behind the shrubs.
“Holy ! What the is that?!” one of them swore loudly.
Yoona watched Victoria try to get up from the pile of water she’d landed in but before she even got onto her feet the man had grabbed her by the back of her shirt.
“Lets go!” one of the man ushered.
“NO! No! Leave Victoria alone!!” Yoona cried charging at them.
“Yoona! Yoona! Help me! Save me!!” Victoria cried struggling to get out of the man‘s grasp. She was obviously sobbing.
“Shut up, you punk!”
Yoona had just grabbed Victoria’s hand only to feel it slip out of hers before she was kicked back. She had tried chasing them but to no avail. When she realized she couldn’t catch up to them Yoona had rushed back to camp and awoken the teachers into a horrible mess.
In broad daylight Yoona saw that her hands were covered with the blood Victoria had fallen in. And in less than five minutes she’d lost Victoria.
Yoona covered her face with her hands. How could losing Victoria to those men be compared to losing Taecyeon? Victoria, at least, deserved that much happiness. Still…it simply hurt.
In that hour of the night Yoona spent her time sobbing on her bed, her body wracked with overwhelming sobs full of uncertainty. She was confused even though she’d concluded everything. Nothing made sense, nothing was fair. Why had everything turned out the way it had?
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