Talking to the moon, tryin' to get to you
In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too
Oh, am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon

LEE DONGHAE

The world tour has started.

We have done this for a million times already. All the preparations, the practices, the overnight workouts and even the lack of sleep. All these things to perfect the performances in each country that we visit. We may have a single setlist for all the performances but Leeteuk hyung wants everything to be as perfect as not to disappoint our ELF. I also want things to be as perfect but now, I have other things in mind.

When all of this ends, I will return to my family.

I miss them so much. It has been 6 months since I last saw them. We have done all the Asian, South American and United States tour. The last 2 months of our world tour will be for Europe and Australia. Last 2 months. The encore concert. Then I will go back home.

The members have been telling me to visit them everytime we come back from a show. But I always declined. If I visit them, I would not be able to control myself and not leave them. It would be too painful, not just for me, but also for Althea and Aiden.

"Donghae, we're here," Hyukjae woke me up. We were bound to Incheon from the last stop in our U.S. tour which was in Los Angeles. I was awake during the last 4 hours of the flight but I kept closing my eyes as I pictured Althea and Aiden in my head. I opened my eyes when Hyuk called me. I stood up and got my things. I have to flash that smile again that all the fans wanted to see. The happy Donghae. The playful one. Eventhough I am never happy.

We headed out to the airport lobby and saw ELF gathering and waiting for us. As I came out, I waved my hand to the fans and smiled as I see a camera pointing at me. This way I could repay the effort and time ELF has given me and all the other members.

"Oppa, please accept this gift!" one of the fans shouted as she tried her best to hand me her gift.

"Thank you," I said and accepted the gift. The manager then grabbed me and guided me towards the van. All the other members then got inside the van.

I opened the gift and was shocked to see what's inside. It was a diary with a cartoon picture of a family. On the first page, it was written:

"Oppa, I know this is not what you really want to receive as a gift but I hope you can write here all the feelings that you cannot express. I know you are really not happy right now and it hurts watching you smile when I can see tears behind them. I wish you will have what you really want. Please be happy..."

A tear fell on my cheek after reading that simple note.

I guess ELF knows me too well after all these years. 

---

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

Super Junior is Back After Successful U.S. Tour!

I smiled as I read the headlines. I am happy for them. But as I looked into his picture, my chest hurt.

I miss him so much.

It has been 6 months. I know I survived not seeing him for 4 years, but now, it has been too hard for me. And I know I'm not the only one suffering. Aiden is also hurting. And even this guy.

"Dr. Fajardo, can I ask you about this case? I'm a little bit confused," Dr. Anthony Kim, a fellow surgical resident asked me. 

I shifted my