In my eyes I'm screaming for the sight of you..

And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through...

And I can't hold on to you...

So I guess I'll be lonely too...

"What are you do-"

I kissed her. I kissed Althea. I was not sure about what really happened. All I know was that I needed her. I felt her soft lips and didn't want to let go but she broke the kiss and pushed me.

"What are you doing?!" she asked. She looked shocked and angry. 

"I like you, Althea," I told her.

"What?! We just met few days ago! Why are you doing this?" She was already teary-eyed.

"I'm not playing with you, Althea! I don't even know why I'm feeling this!"

"Please stop this, Donghae."

After saying those words, she went inside her cabin. I didn't expect her to get angry. I knew it was not a good thing to do but my heart just pushed me to do it. Now I was left alone in the hallway. I wanted to talk to her but if I bothered her again tonight, she would really hate me.

I remembered the words she whispered to me few hours ago. 

"I love you..." 

I just pretended to be asleep at that time but the moment she said it, my heart was about to explode that it almost ruined my acting. I felt so happy that I wanted to kiss her but had to stop myself.

I went to my suite and lay on my bed. I didn't know what to do anymore. I kept on staring at the walls, thinking of all the things that happened to me in this cruise since I've met Althea. I was totally confused.

Why the hell am I feeling this? Why did I kiss her? Do I really love her? I said I wanted her to be with me because I didn't want to be lonely. Aish! I'm really confused right now! What should I do now? She's mad at me? Will she not talk to me anymore? I'm so sorry Althea. I'm so sorry...

~~~~~~

ALTHEA RYZ FAJARDO

I rushed to my cabin as I could feel that my eyes couldn't hold my tears. I went to the bathroom sink and washed my face to stop all the tears. I didn't know why I cried after what happened. It has been every fangirl's dream to be kissed by their idol and it has also been my dream, however, I knew that kiss was not real. I mean, why would he kiss me? We just met and although we have been hanging out often, it wouldn't be enough for him to fall for me. Unless, he was just using me and my feelings for him to forget her. To forget Eunseo. And I hate to think that way because I've had so much respect for him.

I tried to sleep to forget about everything. But no matter how hard I try, I just couldn't. My thoughts are racing. I was angry at him for doing that. Yet, I know I fell for him deeper. I hate how much this confusion is affecting me. I hate how much I love him, knowing he would never be mine