It feels so surreal.

 

I still can’t believe what transpired a week ago sa amin ni Winter. 

 

Almost a year ago, I couldn’t even look at Winter in the eyes. Ngayon, girlfriend ko na siya.

 

Girlfriend. 

 

My gosh!

 

If you asked me a year ago if I could get myself a girlfriend, maiiyak at matatawa lang ako because I don’t know how to talk to girls. 

 

Nakakahiya nga isipin how it all started. I was a mess! Too shy to even say hi to Winter to the point that I avoided her because she was…still is so, so pretty. How did she even end up liking me? Not that I’m complaining. I’m just happy na nangyari yung mga nangyari.

 

Otherwise we wouldn’t be where we are right now.

 

Kinikilig pa rin ako when I think about that night. 

 

I don’t even know where I got my courage. Probably because I was tired from driving, sumasakit na yung likod ko and I really really missed Winter.

 

When I told Yuyu to just drop me off at Winter’s laundromat, her wicked grin did not go unnoticed but I chose to ignore it. Alam na niya kung ano ang mangyayari without me telling her. Call it a childhood friend telepathy. Or an Aries thing. Or it’s just me and Yuyu. 

 

Sabi pa niya na wag daw ako uuwi if hindi ko pa rin girlfriend si Winter.

 

Okay. 

 

But I went home with the biggest smile on my face kahit na pagod na pagod ako. Seeing Winter…kissing her…

 

Oh my gosh. 

 

Kissing Winter! 

 

Hindi ko inexpect na mangyari yun but she just had to go and kiss my mole first that I had to do it! I had to do something. Hindi pwede na hanggang doon lang! Bumabawi lang din ako from months of trying to hold myself back. 

 

Alam ko naman na minsan naiilang pa si Winter from my being physically affectionate so I’ve been holding back for months. 

 

But I still daydream about it. I still keep replaying what happened that night. 

 

That kiss. 

 

How do I even start? 

 

Winter’s lips are so soft. And they’re very nice to kiss and she’s…good. 

 

Kahit na she got too excited she ended up hurting my back even more. 

I don’t have a plan.

 

I just know that Winter calling me baby last night was…it felt nice.

 

Baby. 

 

Yun lang ang nasa isip ko while driving back home.

 

Baby.

 

The way she said it kagabi made my heart do cartwheels. 

 

Pero there was something that was bothering me sa pagtawag niya sa akin ng baby. Not saying that I didn’t like it. Just that there’s something missing.

 

And yun yung asking Winter to be my girlfriend.

 

So halfway through driving home, I decided na hindi yun pwede. Ayokong tawagin niya akong baby na hindi pa kami. 

 

I want to be called her baby without the feeling of uncertainty. Mahirap na kung palagi lang akong nag o-overthink. I would also hate to question Winter’s intentions all the time. Mas better na we iron things out before it’s too late – before there’s even more misunderstandings sa aming dalawa. 

 

Yuyu was more than happy to drop me off at Winter’s laundromat with no questions asked. Si Yuna lang naman yung nang-asar. Supportive din naman si Ate Marie sa akin. Mamaya, magtatanong talaga yun when I get home. 

 

In my sleep deprived state, I walked up to Winter’s laundromat and I smiled to myself when I saw her cleaning up. Hindi naman nagtagal at nakita niya ako and I couldn’t help but throw myself at her. 

 

“I missed you,” I sighed. Nawala yung pagod ko nang mayakap ko si Winter.

 

I managed to stutter my way into asking Winter to be my girlfriend. Wala na akong time na mahiya pa with how I did it, the important thing is that I did.

 

Kung makatawag kasi ng baby…wala pa naman kaming label. When I told Yuyu about yung pagtawag ni Winter sa akin ng baby, sinabihan niya ako ng check the label! My god! I couldn’t live with that! Naging impatient na rin ako with our situation. Bakit patagalin ko pa? We have been doing this dance for months and it’s clear naman na we both like each other very much.

 

So kahit na pagod na pagod ako, I visited Winter because it just couldn’t wait.

 

I wanted her to be mine.

 

Officially. 

 

Winter suddenly kissed my mole and my mind went on autopilot. Wala na akong ibang inisip but halikan si Winter. All I could think about was that I wanted Winter’s lips on mine. 

 

I kissed her lightly on the lips. Just a peck…for now. I didn’t want to overdo it. Simula pa lang naman kami.

 

But Winter had other ideas. She pulled me in and kissed me full on the lips. She didn’t move. Parang hesitant pa rin siya but she kept on pressing her lips eagerly against mine, I couldn’t help but move my lips against hers with equal enthusiasm, urging her to move with me. She did, slowly at first.

 

Yun nga lang, masyadong naging excited si Winter. I think she was attempting to deepen the kiss but she pushed me against one of the washing machines and hurt my back in the process. 

 

Akala pa niya kinagat niya ako. I mean she did in the process but I wasn’t gonna hold that against her.

 

I liked it naman.

 

My gosh.

 

Ang landi ko ba? 

 

After that, she dropped me off at home. I wanted to spend more time with her, since official na nga kami pero she insisted that I rest first. Marami naman daw kaming time para magkasama. 

 

Okay, admittedly kinilig ako at the thought of being with Winter for a long time. 

 

Nakaupo lang kami sa car niya when we got to my house. Neither of us wanted to move. I wanted to savour our time together. 

 

Parang high pa rin ako sa nangyari sa amin.

 

Winter is my girlfriend. 

 

Oh my gosh.

 

I don’t think I could ever get used to saying that. 

 

“Pasok ka na, baby.” Kinikilig ako. Hindi ako sanay marinig tawagin na baby. “Mag rest ka na.” 

 

“Okay,” I said pero hindi pa rin ako umaalis. I just kept smiling at Winter. I just kept holding her hand. 

 

Tumawa lang siya sa akin. “Dito lang ba tayo?” 

 

“I don’t mind,” I answered cheekily. “I missed you. I want to spend more time with you.”

 

“May bukas pa naman.” 

 

“I can’t wait.” 

 

Winter leaned forward at akala ko hahalikan niya ako ulit. I braced myself because not going to lie, I want to kiss her again. Pero, she only unbuckled my seatbelt and unlocked the door. 

 

Hindi ko naman pinahalata yung disappointment sa mukha ko.

 

“Magkikita naman tayo bukas. First thing sa umaga, daanan kita. Sa hapon pa naman yung shift ko sa shop.” 

 

I smiled at that, squeezing her hand. “Okay.” 

 

I couldn’t help it na rin. I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. Sa cheek only kasi bigla akong nadapuan ng hiya. Also, I didn’t want to get ahead of myself. I’m already so overwhelmed. What more si Winter? 

 

“Good night, Win…baby,” I said shyly. I have to get used to calling her that.

 

Winter bit her lip at tumili siya. “Okay, good night baby.” 

 

When I got up to my room, Yuyu was already there waiting for me. Mapanukso yung ngiti niya.

 

“So?” 

 

“Winter has the softest lips,” I sighed dreamily before plopping down next to her on my bed.

 

“May lips ba na matigas, Yuyu?” 

 

I hit her in the stomach. Asar talaga. “You know what I mean! Don’t ruin this for me.” 

 

Tawa pa rin siya ng tawa so I poked her sides. “Hindi na, hindi na. Kwento mo na lang kalandian mo.”

 

“Yuyu!” 

It has been seven days since naging kami ni Winter and so far, I feel like I could fly. 

 

Yes, I’m definitely counting the days. And it has been seven days since I last kissed Winter.

 

Yes, on the lips. Malandi na kung malandi. She’s my girlfriend naman.

 

I kiss her on the cheek, her forehead, her hand. Pero sa lips, hindi pa naulit. Winter hasn’t made the move to do it first din so I’m just gauging her. First girlfriend ko din siya so I don’t want to do anything that could potentially ruin it. I want to pace myself with Winter. Doon ako where we’re both comfortable.

 

We also haven’t hung out much kasi Winter has been busy with their shop. Nagkikita lang kami ng saglit when she has the time or when she’s working at the location near my house at binibisita ko siya. 

 

Actually, wala pang nakakaalam tungkol sa amin aside from Yuyu and Yuna. I also think Winter told Soobin and Ning. Well, Soobin sees me often sa shop so may idea na yun kasi kapag nakikita ko siya, he just winks at me and smiles before ushering me to their backroom where Winter is working.

 

I don’t know if he told Giselle yet. Parang hindi pa kasi if Giselle knew already, she would’ve already called me and would demand that I make kwento.

 

Thankful rin naman ako that Soobin is keeping it mum muna kahit sa girlfriend niya. I want to tell everyone in my own time. I think Winter also wants to do that too. 

 

Hindi pa namin pinag-usapan how we’re going to tell our friends. To be honest, kinakabahan ako kasi magkikita kaming lahat later. Nagdemand lang naman si Giselle that we hang out together kasi daw summer started almost a month ago and wala daw kaming ganap. 

 

So I don’t know how I should act around Winter in front of our friends. Baka kasi if I was too touchy, maiilang lang si Winter since hindi pa alam ng friends namin. 

 

We should’ve discussed it first talaga pero it slipped my mind. Winter is mostly on my mind lang. 

 

I’ll just go with the flow na lang mamaya at sabayan si Winter. Whatever she will do, I will follow. 

***

Mahirap magpigil ng ginagawa. I think I’m the only one making this hard on myself.

 

When we met up with everyone, normal lang naman yung interaction namin ni Winter in front of our friends. It’s how we acted during our getting to know stage pero I wanted to do more. 

 

It looked like Winter was not stressing about this like I am so I started being subtle with my affection. We walked behind the group and at first I settled on holding the hem of her shirt. And then I held her pinky until I clasped my hand with hers. 

 

Wala lang kay Winter. She just turned and smi