“Yuyu, okay ka lang?” Yuyu asked as soon as I got in the car. 

No, I wasn’t okay. If I had the best day yesterday, today was the worst. 

First day ko kasi. 

No wonder I was craving a lot of things. Especially yung mga bawal sa akin. 

Ang hirap lang maging babae. I woke up with a head-splitting headache and sakit sa likod at puson. Sobrang sakit ng likod ko that I would pay someone to dislocate my back. Pwede ba yun? Buti na lang my puson was still bearable. 

And I’m the type to not take any pills for my dysmenorrhea. Kinakaya ko talaga to the point where I would pass out. I take too many pills na for my body aches, I wasn’t gonna add one more for something I can manage…most of the time.

That’s just how stubborn I can be. 

“I think I can manage, Yuyu.” 

Hinawakan niya yung pisngi ko. “Ang putla mo rin. Kumain ka ba?” 

I just nodded. 

“Okay. Sabihin mo sa akin kung hindi mo na kaya. Uwi tayo kaagad.” 

“I will.” 

I couldn’t manage.

Pagdating ko sa class, my puson started hurting. It’s just different kapag yun ang sumasakit. Ang hirap lang i-control. It’s like my uterus wants to be ripped out of my body. 

And that’s when I begged for the pills because I already felt like passing out.

Nanghingi ako kaagad kay Giselle ng ibuprofen to help with the pain. 

Pero the pain was stronger. 

Sa sobrang sakit, hindi ko na maangat yung ulo ko from my chair. I was having cold sweats na din. I groaned when I felt a particularly painful pinch sa puson ko. 

“Miss Yu, are you okay?” Napahinto pa prof namin sa paglelecture. 

When I didn’t answer, she went to where I was sitting. Sinabihan siya ni Lia what’s wrong and she immediately understood and asked Giselle and Lia to bring me to the clinic. 

Lia grabbed my bag while Giselle helped me up. Nakayuko lang akong naglalakad while my right arm cradled my tummy. 

I sighed in relief as soon as my back hit the bed at the clinic. I refused to take another painkiller kasi kakatake ko lang. I think I just needed to take a nap. 

It should be criminal to get out of the house when you have your period. 

Why is our society so anti-woman? 

I heard Giselle and Lia talk to the nurse before nila ako binalikan. 

“KK, I texted RJ to come get you,” Lia whispered. “Her class is done in an hour and she’ll come get you after.” 

“Thanks, honey,” I croaked. 

“Your bag is here, KK,” Giselle pointed at the chair next to the bed. “Feel better. We’ll go back to class na.” 

“Thanks guys,” matamlay kong sinabi. Lia caressed my hair one last time before they left. 

Nakatulog ako from the pain. Nagising na lang ako when Yuyu came, already carrying my bag. 

“May gusto ka ba?” She helped me up. 

“No, I just want to go home.” I stood up and the pain travelled from my back down to my legs. Grabe naman to. It’s not giving me a break at all.

Yuyu quickly drove me to the house. Buti na lang Ate Marie was still around at sa hapon pa yung klase niya. Yuyu asked for hot compress from her as she helped me up to my room. Agad niya akong pinagpalit ng damit before I could lie down. She also reminded me to take off my contacts. One time kasi, I forgot to take my contacts off and I woke up thinking I was blind.

She tucked me in. 

“Text mo na lang ako kung may kailangan ka, Yuyu.”

“I will. Thank you, beb.” 

Pumasok si Ate Marie with a hot compress. Tinaas niya yung blanket and placed the hot compress on my tummy before she tucked me back in.

“Thank you, Ate.” 

“May niluto ako sa baba kung gusto mong kumain, Karina. Mamaya pa naman ako aalis so text mo lang ako kung may need ka ha?” 

I nodded.

“Thank you, Ate,” Yuyu said. “Alis na ako Yuyu. Basta text mo rin ako kung may ipapabili ka.” 

“I know. Go na. Baka ma late ka pa for your next class.” 

I fell asleep again as soon as they left and woke up when I felt my uterus trying to upend my insides. The hot compress I was clutching against my stomach earlier turned lukewarm na. Hindi ko rin namalayan that my room was a little chilly. Baka tinurn on ni Ate Marie yung AC.

Kinuha ko yung phone ko from the night stand. I don’t even remember putting it there. Baka si Yuyu ang naglagay. One in the afternoon na pala. I was hungry na rin. I could feel my stomach grumble at the same time yung pagsakit ng aking puson. 

Double the pain. How wonderful. 

I could smell the food from the kitchen pero I don’t feel like eating what Ate Marie has cooked. It smells like sinigang and I’m not in the mood for soup. Gusto ko ng something fried and crispy. Something salty din. I don’t think my stomach can handle sour food at the moment. 

Tinext ko kaagad si Yuyu. 

[1:03pm, Thursday] Karina: tonkatsu, mint choco ice cream, pink pringles, gummy bears, sprite

[1:03pm, Thursday] Karina: please and thank you :) 

[1:04pm, Thursday] Karina: Ate Marie is still here so I’ll just tell her to let you in sa room once you get here

[1:05pm, Thursday] Karina: drive safely. see youuu

Sumakit ulit puson ko. I took my pillow and clutched it against my stomach. Before I could pass out again, tinext ko na rin si Ate Marie. 

[1:07pm, Thursday] Karina: ate magpabili na lang ako ng food kay Yuyu

[1:07pm, Thursday] Karina: sorry i don’t think i can stomach sinigang right now 

[1:07pm, Thursday] Karina: papasukin niyo na lang po sa room when she gets here. Thank you

[1:15pm, Thursday] Ate Marie: k

[1:15pm, Thursday] Ate Marie: papasok ako ng 3

I tossed my phone somewhere in my bed and buried myself sa blanket ko. Whoever said that men are stronger than women must have been out of their mind. Kasi di yata kaya ng mga lalaki ang sakit ng dysmenorrhea every month.

I’m lucky enough that minsan lang to mangyayari sa akin but when I do get it, I’m just rendered useless. 

An hour later, may kumatok sa kwarto ko. 

“Karing, may bisita ka,” Ate Marie called from outside. 

I peeked my head out of the blanket. “Thank you, Ate.” And then I buried my face in my pillow again when I felt something squeeze the life out of me. 

Narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto and pagsara. I was waiting for Yuyu to come sit on my bed and caress my back. That usually makes me feel a little better when I have back pain from my period. Pero ang quiet lang ng kwarto ko. Why was she not saying anything? 

I groaned again. “Beb? Why are you not saying anything? Come here.” When will this pain end? I squirmed. “This really hurts.” 

Again, silence. 

“Yu –”

“Karina, okay ka lang ba?”

That doesn’t sound like Yuyu at all. 

I whipped my head so quickly and flinched ng mabigla yung katawan ko. And then my eyes bulged when I realized who was standing in my bedroom, looking lost.

“Winter?” I hastily fixed my hair. Hinanap ko yung glasses ko sa night stand and quickly put it on. Nakakahiya naman she had to see me like this. “What are you doing here?” 

“Nag text ka ng grocery list?” She said questioningly.

“What?” I looked at her hands and saw na may dala siyang paper bag and a plastic bag full of stuff I asked for. 

I panicked and quickly looked for my phone. It was getting really embarrassing. Finally, I found it sa may paa ko and checked it. Sure enough, I sent the text to Winter instead kay Yuyu.

“So sorry, Win! Naabala pa kita. I know the bet is over. This was supposed to be for —”

“Ryujin,” she finished for me. “Yeah, narealize ko lang ng tinawag mo akong beb at gulat kang makita ako. Hindi pala para sa akin yun.” And then she murmured something before taking a deep breath.

Nilagay niya yung bags sa table ko. Nakakunot ang noo niya. I must have interrupted her day. “Binigay ko kay Ate Marie yung ice cream at tonkatsu mo. May kailangan ka pa ba?” 

Would it be too forward for me to ask her to stay? I just watched as she looked around in my room. Gusto ko sana she’d stay for a bit kahit na alam ko may class pa siya mamaya.

Her eyes landed on the discarded hot compress on the foot of my bed before looking at me. I could see na naghehesitate siyang lumapit sa bed ko but in the end, she took a step closer and another until she was beside me. 

“Okay ka lang ba?” Her brows knitted, eyes full of concern. 

I wanted to say, yes now that you’re here. But I couldn’t do that when I felt another pinch in my stomach and I cringed. It was evident naman na I wasn’t okay, yet. 

“I will be,” sinabi ko na lang. I gave her a weak smile. 

Kinuha niya yung hot compress. “Replace ko lang to. Kumain ka na rin before daw aalis si Ate Marie. Alis na din ako after ko to lagyan ng hot water.” 

She turned around. 

I bit my lip. She was already here anyway. I might as well ask, right?” 

“Win?” Tinignan niya ako. “Uhm, is it okay if — if samahan mo akong kumain?” I looked at her nervously.

Her expression changed. She looked conflicted, her eyes darting from my face to the floor. Her grip on the hot compress tightened. I may have been too forward. 

Hindi pa kasi siya sumasagot. Nakatingin lang siya sa sahig. 

“Uhm, nevermind pala. I forgot you still have class.” I sat up from my bed and leaned against the headboard. “Forget I asked. High pa yata ako from painkillers. Uhm, thanks for bringing these.” 

I couldn’t look at her dahil nahihiya ako. I expected her to leave na pero nagulat lang ako when I felt her stand beside the bed. 

“Tara.” 

“Huh?” I looked up at her, confused. 

She gave me a tight-lipped smile. “Samahan na kita.” 

Nakahanda na yung pagka