I did not sleep well. I couldn’t stop thinking about Winter’s project that I ruined. I kept replaying it in my mind, from the way I stepped on it, to the way Winter looked at me and the way her cold voice sent shivers down my spine.

Nastress lang ako coming up ways to make it up to her other than the fact na tutulungan ko siya sa project niya. Anong gagawin ko? 

Nastress na din ako about how to do the project. Kasi we don’t have enough time. Tapos what if pangit yung pagkagawa ko? 3D model pa yun. Then it’s all my fault din na Winter will get an awful grade. 

Tapos galit pa siya. Mas magalit lang siya instead of actually fixing things.

My conscience could not handle all of that. 

Plus feel ko naman the more I say sorry to her, the more she will just get annoyed. 

So, I didn’t fall asleep until three and I ended up waking up late. 

I begrudgingly got up from my bed and pumunta ng CR para magayos. I didn’t have enough time to blow dry my hair or fix my face kaya I hastily put up my hair in a messy bun. Nag moisturizer lang din ako plus sunscreen. I still had to eat my breakfast, too. 

My eyes were also too heavy and too tired. Hindi ko kaya mag contacts. So I resorted to wearing my thick-framed glasses. Usually sa bahay ko lang sinusuot kasi nakakatamad mag contacts kapag nasa bahay ka lang but I didn’t want to bother today.

I already knew people would comment about it. The Mariteses don't let anything pass by their filthy mouths. 

Mas gugustuhin kong di pumasok kasi I don’t know what kind of face I’d be showing to Winter. 

But I had no choice. 

When I went downstairs, nakita ko kaagad si Yuyu nakaupo sa couch kausap si Mommy. 

“Morning, Mommy,” I said when I went to kiss her on the cheek. 

"Morning anak. Kumain na muna kayo ng Yuyu mo ng breakfast. Hinintay lang talaga kita before ako umalis for my flight." Mommy stood up from the couch before grabbing her maleta and giving me a kiss on the forehead. May business trip siya sa Batanes. Si Daddy din may business trip sa Cebu. So I will be alone for a few days. 

"Ryujin, drive safe." Tumayo din si Yuyu para yakapin si Mommy at bumeso.

"Always naman po, Mommy." 

"Good. Ate will come by mamaya to check on you. See you in a few days, iha."

"Bye, Mommy." 

I turned to face Yuyu and pouted.

“Di ka nakatulog no?” I nodded. She gave me the tumbler na hawak-hawak niya. “Jasmine tea. Para naman relax ka.” 

Inabot ko lang siya and mumbled my thanks before leaning my head on her shoulder. I heaved a sigh. Pagod na kaagad ako and the day hasn’t even started. 

“Kawawa ka naman.” Hinahaplos niya likod ko. “Wag mo kasi masyadong isipin si Winter.” Kinurot ko siya. Nagawa pa niyang mag joke!

“Yuyu! You’re so mean!” 

“Okay hindi na.” She giggled. “Ang cute mo nga today oh. Innocent look ba tayo today?” 

“Yuyu…” I glared at her. “I’m tired. Wala akong tulog. I woke up late. Masakit ulo ko, Yuyu.” 

“Hindi na nga.” Tinulak niya ako papuntang kitchen. “Kain na tayo. Si Mommy nagluto kanina pagdating ko.” 

But wala akong gana kumain. I was much too bothered and nervous for the day na my stomach was in knots. Every subo, gusto kong masuka kahit na masarap yung pancakes and bacon na niluto ni Mommy. 

Yuyu had to force feed me; sinubuan niya lang ako kasi according to her, it's better to face the day with a full stomach than an empty one. 

Sabi niya kahit three bites lang daw. 

Okay. Three bites and then I downed it with the tea. 

We finished up quickly na rin kasi malelate na kami. I was already dreading going to school. 

Bigla akong kinabahan when I sat down in the car. My fingers were shaking and it took me a while to buckle my seatbelt. 

“Di na lang kaya ako papasok?” 

“Sige wag kang pumasok. Wag mong tulungan si Winter. Hate ka na niya forever.” Tiningnan lang niya ako as if sinasabi niya na tama siya. Ayoko naman mangyari yun. 

“Ugh,” I groaned. Why did this have to happen? Bakit kasi ako umiiwas? “Let’s just go.” 

The whole car ride was quiet. Tinigilan na rin akong asarin ni Yuyu ng makita niya yung pag-alala ko. 

Hindi kasi ako mapakali. I kept adjusting my seat. I reclined it para mag nap pero the sun was too high already that it bothered me. Tapos I sat upright na pero sumakit lang yung likod and leeg ko. 

So nag stretch ako only to pull a muscle sa shoulder ko.

So I just slumped in my seat, giving up. 

“Yuyu, relax ka lang.” I started anxiously rotating my rosary ring. Inabot ni Yuyu yung tumbler sa akin. “Inumin mo na yan. Relax, Yuyu. It’s just Winter.” 

Right. 

It’s just Winter. Right? Winter na sinira ko yung project. Winter na galit sa akin. Winter na nakaka-intimidate. 

It’s just Winter.

Triny kong uminom ng tea but even as I tried to inhale the aroma of the tea as I drank it, it did not help. 

I was just too tense.

And as if the day couldn’t get any worse, may nakapark na sa favourite spot ko na malapit sa Giddy’s and Malvar gate. 

So Yuyu had to park somewhere so open. Masyadong maraming tao. Too many prying eyes. 

Yung nyerbos ko naging inis. 

I grumbled to myself at inis kong sinira yung door. Hindi ko sinadyang magdabog but I guess I slammed it too hard.

What a .

I heard a girl say.

I know I shouldn’t bother with them but hindi ko mapigilan na tingnan yung babaeng tumawag sa akin ng .

I was already way too strung up and annoyed that I just stared her down. 

Was I proving them right by challenging her? Bahala sila. 

Yuyu had to drag me away from where I was standing when she noticed the girl was starting to get uncomfortable. 

Ang brave kung makasalita but when challenged, di kaya panindigan? 

Not today, Marites. 

She squeezed my hand while hila-hila niya akong naglalakad.

“Hatid na kita.” She looked at me and gave me a small smile. “Masyado kang tense, Yuyu. Hindi bagay sa cute look mo.” 

I sighed. Hindi na rin ako umangal. I guess that was better instead of me walking alone all annoyed sa paligid ko. I might just lose my temper. 

We passed by Winter and Ning papunta sa building ko. Nafeel ni Yuyu yung pagka-rigid sa katawan ko when we saw them and just held my hand tighter. I tried to smile at them pero when I saw Winter’s wide eyes, nalungkot at naguilty ulit ako.

“Susunod na lang ako.” Yuyu called out to them. Dire-diretso lang kaming naglakad. 

Pagdating namin sa class ko, she turned me around to face her. “Will you be okay?” 

Wala naman akong magagawa. I will probably float in class too. Wala rin akong tulog. 

Tinanguan ko lang siya. And then I saw her look behind me and sumneyas. Nilingon ko at nandun na si Lia and Giselle with worried looks habang kumakaway sila to Yuyu. 

I gave Yuyu a hug and told her to go na at baka malate pa siya. “Kayanin mo, Yuyu.” 

As soon as I went inside the room, Lia and Giselle engulfed me in a hug. 

“What happened to you, KK?” Lia took in the sight of me. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear at inayos niya yung glasses ko. “You look like you didn’t sleep, honey.” 

I groaned before I told them everything. Buti na lang wala pa yung prof. 

“So, you ruined Winter’s project and you will help her.” Giselle reiterated. I nodded. “You’re thinking too much about this, KK. Aayusin niyo diba? And RJ will help? Everything will be fine. Don’t sweat on it.” 

Pero…

Winter is mad at me. 

I saw Lia give Giselle a look before turning to me. “I don’t think it’s just about the project. Right, KK?” She looked at Giselle again. 

Napa ‘oh’ si Giselle when she realized what Lia was trying to say. She only patted me on my shoulder, naawa sa situation ko. 

“It’s Winter, right?” Giselle asked.

I nodded.

“She’s mad at you.” 

Napayuko na ako. 

“You don’t know how to talk to her.”

I could feel my ears were already on fire. I tried to cover it with my hands.

“You’re awkward with her and she’s pretty and you can’t talk to her and now she’s mad at you and you don’t know how to work with her on the project.” 

Tumingala ako sa kanila and I pouted at them. 

“You have a crush on her.”

“No!” Napasigaw ako bigla at napatingin sa amin yung mga kaklase namin. I answered way too aggressively. “No,” I repeated, this time, mas mahina.  

“Okay, so you just find her pretty and you don’t know how to act around her.” Giselle rolled her eyes at me, unbelieving. Totoo naman kasi, I don’t have a crush on Winter. “See, as soon as we saw Winter’s picture, parang we had a hunch na why you were weird around her.” 

Lia jutted out her lower lip and mirrored my pout. “Ay naku, our little KK.” 

“Do you mean gay-gay?” I whined and squirmed in my seat. Ang aga, Giselle!

“Gigi!” Lia hissed at Giselle and slapped her arm. “You’re so loud!” Louder pa nga Giselle. Baka hindi narinig ng mga Marites. 

Giselle raised her arms and nag-sorry siya. Pero the three of us just giggled at the little joke. Witty din kasi. No hard feelings when it’s true. I’m a hopeless and awkward biual who can’t talk to pretty girls. I don’t know why. 

“Aw, come here,” Bigla akong hinila ni Lia sa kanya at niyakap. I buried my face in the crook of her neck. “KK, you’re so hot but you can’t even talk to pretty girls. What are we going to do with you?” 

Hindi ko rin alam. 

***

Yuyu had suggested that I pick them up sa room nila para daw good impression. So, I did. I normally pick up Yuyu naman talaga, so that wasn’t a problem. However, I was too nervous to wait there by myself so tinanong ko si Lia and Giselle to come with me. Mukha kaming nagaaligid sa room nila. 

I was jittery. 

I was preparing myself for the inevitable cold shoulder from Winter. 

The other two just supported me, saying everything will be fine. Pero they kept giving each other knowing looks that I just knew, they had other ideas being there with me. 

Inalis ko yung salamin ko para punasan. Masyado akong pinawisan sa kaba at nag fog. Timing lang ng pagsuot ko balik sa glasses ko and looked up, Winter was already in front of me, her doe-like eyes boring into mine, face blank. Yuyu was beside her. Ning and Chaeryeong greeted Lia and Giselle. 

“Hi Winter!” Giselle pulled her into a hug breaking the palpable tension that was forming between me and Winter. Napakurap lang si Winter before she returned the hug. 

“Hi Gi.” She was short with her reply, clearly uninterested.

Hindi na niya ako pinansin. 

We started walking towards the parking area. 

Yuyu arranged everything for us. Winter was to ride with us na lang para mabilis. And it would be hard for Winter to go to our place without a sticker sa car niya. 

It was awkward in the car. At one point parang ayaw ni Winter pumasok sa car ko. 

Parang napilitan pa siya umupo sa likod kasi mukha siyang nagdadalawang-isip when Yuyu opened the door for her. She ultimately resigned and went inside. 

I sighed in relief when she did and tried to sit comfortably sa passenger side. 

“Anong kailangan natin for the project, Winter?” Tanong ni Yuyu while sinulyapan niya si Winter sa rearview mirror. 

Nakita ko sa rearview mirror pag squirm niya sa upuan niya. “Uhm – lahat.” 

The guilt from yesterday slapped me back in the face. I winced.

“W-Winter,” I stuttered. God, why was it so difficult? “Uhm – I-I’ll pay for everything.” 

She cleared . Hindi na siya umangal sa pag offer ko. “Okay,” she said timidly. 

At least she wasn’t totally givi