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'' You didn't tell me you've been discharged from the physio.'' Rosé spoke into the darkness.

'' I didn't realise it was something that was worthy of a declaration.''

Rosé frowned at Suzy's words, they were business-like. She looked out of the window, suddenly tired of their constant back and forth, the weight of another argument already burdening down on her.

They were driving along a quiet unlit road, having both returned from work, they had barely spoken in the last hour, the strain of silence growing worse with each passing mile. Stopped at a traffic light, she glanced at Suzy, who seemed to be transfixed on the red light before them, as though it held the answer to life itself. 

'' How is your John Hopkins offer coming along ?'' Suzy suddenly broke the silence.

Rosé looked up, her body tensing automatically as she uneasily met Suzy's gaze '' I haven't accepted it yet.''

'' Why is that ? ''

Rosé hated the way she felt like she was trapped in Suzy's gaze, '' Because ... '' She hesitated '' Because i've - '' She stopped, not sure what she was even saying.

It didn't matter, Suzy was already asking the next question '' When is the deadline ? ''

'' Next week ''

'' Next week ? ''

'' Yes.''

Suzy seemed to take that in for a second, her face unreadable. Suddenly, Rosé can no longer take this '' Suzy. I haven't said yes.'' Her voice softened as she whispered '' I can stay. I can stay if that's what you want.''

'' If that's what i want ? '' Suzy's voice betrayed hurt incredulity '' That's not how it works Chaeyoung ! ''

Suddenly angry, Rosé clenched her hands together '' You're being so difficult.''

An uncomfortable quiet followed, the words still lingering in the air between them until Suzy spoke '' You don't get it, do you ? ''

'' What do you mean ?''

'' Do i need to spell it out for you, Chaeyoung ? Do you think that me being angry about you leaving is making me feel any better ? Doesn't that make me a selfish person hindering your life ?  I - '' Suzy's voice cracked in half and the words fall apart in front of her '' You are not making it any easier for me.''

Rosé stopped talking, lost for words. Dumbfounded, she watched Suzy who was gripping tightly the steering wheel.

'' You didn't tell me this ? '' She muttered softly.

'' What do you want me to say, Chaeyoung ? '' She asked at last '' Don't take this one in a million opportunity ? Don't go to one of the best hospitals ? '' Rosé could hear the bitter anger, woven between hurt and self-reproach, '' Don't go .. because i want you here ? ''

Rosé stared at Suzy, her body growing unbearably heavy, her voice barely a whisper '' I didn't know that's how you felt .. ''

'' Well i do, and do you know how unbelievably selfish that sounds ? '' She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. 

Rosé felt guilty all of sudden because that's exactly what she did. She selfishly hid the truth about the offer from Suzy because she was worried about her name being mentioned in the meeting. She selfishly left Suzy to suffer all the consequences by herself because she was afraid about her reputation as a resident. She was the selfish one all along.

'' I need some air.''

Suzy parked in an empty service station and was already out of the car, slamming the car door shut behind her, like she couldn't get out of there fast enough, like she couldn't bear the thought of being within a few inches of Rosé anymore.

Rosé remained rooted in her seat, torn between giving over to her first instinct of going after Suzy and staying where she was and allow the distance between them.

Maybe it wasn't some temporary transition they were going through, always waiting for that light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe this was it. The endpoint. Maybe Rosé was just trying to chase the older version of her and Suzy before all this mess happened. A version that was now all but a memory.

Suzy stood in familiar territory, yet it felt unfamiliar. The OR scrub-room looked exactly the same it did four months ago, the same metal basin, the same sign flashing red to in