“Hongjoong and I, we’re good now.”

San lowers his gaze and turns his face away upon hearing my answer. He unclenches his jaws, but his shoulders tense up.

“Good.” A whisper escapes his lips after several seconds pass.

A single lamp in the storage room illuminates a glimpse of his face. Long silence follows after his short response.

I stare at him quietly. Deep down, I hope that he’ll say something, anything to me other than leaving me in this suffocating silence. However, I’m also not sure what to say after revealing the truth to San.

In the end, I pick up the lamp in the middle of the room and return to San who still roots to the spot and grab his wrist. He looks at me with confusion in his eyes.

“Let’s go, it’s getting late.” I pull him outside the storage room.

—

“All clear!” I get up from the floor after making sure that no monster hides under the bed. I whirl around to the combatant who looks at me questioningly as to why I check under his bed instead of mine.

I crawl onto his bed and lean against the wall before patting the available space next to me. “Sit sit.”

San stares at the space and back to me, his feet root to the ground like he has no intention to follow my request.

“Sannie. Sit here.” I reach out to pull his arm, but he refuses to budge from my strength.

My heart sinks a little when I spot a familiar blankness on his expression. Something is bothering him. He stares at me as if to ask me why I don’t go back to my room and invade his space. And I’m about to answer him that.

“I’ll stay with you tonight.”

Surprise flashes in his eyes but it quickly disappears. “You don’t have too.” His tone is surprisingly hardened.

I immediately strengthen up and tighten my grip around his wrist. “But-”

“Captain is waiting for you.” He cut off my sentence in a hush tone.

My eyebrows knit together, perplexed by his words. “Why would he wait for me?”

Instead of answering, San turns his back toward me. I feel vibration through my grip that holds his wrist as he clenches his hands into a tight fist.

Afraid that he’ll injure his wounded hand, I let go of his wrist and try to pry his hand open. “Stop! You’re hurting yourself!”

“You don’t need to care.”

His ice cold tone makes me frown deeper. I let go of his fist and ask him in a small voice. “Do you really want me to go to Hongjoong?”

As expected, I received no response from him. However, I can’t leave him alone when he’s acting strange. So I conjure up courage and get up from the bed to face him.

San refuses to meet my eyes, he stares intently at the darkness of his cabin.

“Are you angry with me?”

“No!” He snaps, his eyes flick toward me.

I press my lips together. Although he denied it, I believe that I’m the cause of his anger.

“Was it because Hongjoong and I made up?” My question must have triggered his anger even more as he clenches his jaws harder.

Oh .

I inwardly kick myself for not explaining it sooner. He understands that Hongjoong and I are back together. A wave of dread hit me as I cause his pain once again.

“Hongjoong and I are in good terms,” I look into his eyes to make sure that he really listen to what I’m about to explain to him. “But he doesn’t need me by his side. He needs more space for himself to settle down with his thoughts and feelings.”

A deep crease appears between San’s eyebrows after processing my words. “I don’t understand. Captain still loves you. He couldn’t forget you. And he would never let you go.” He pauses to calm himself, his chest heaving up and down.

“And don’t you love him?” There’s an underlying doubt behind his voice.

I anxiously gulp down by his raw emotion. But I’ve known this answer since the time Yeojin made me realize my feelings.

“Loved.”

I say it with my full voice. “Hongjoong and I could never be the same. We already talked about it.” I step closer to him and grab his cold hand. “Because right now, I only see the person who’s very special to me. That person always has a spot in my heart. He only looks at me, protects me, and he’s still waiting for me.”

San blinks, confusion spread across his face.

“I was blinded by my own fear to realize my feelings that I think of him more than just a friend. I was so stupid for trying to push him away and cause him pain.” I swallow guilt and replace it with intense feelings that have been waiting to pour out. “Whenever I’m with him, my heart beats like crazy.” I lift up his uninjured hand and place it on top of my heart where it pounds heavily.

San intently stares at his hand over my heart with an unreadable expression.

“Can’t you feel it?” I search his face, looking for any signs from him. Yet, he remains so still that I begin to be scared.

Without much thought, I let go of his hand to cup his face. I tiptoe and kiss lightly on his cold lips. His body tenses up, breath catches in his throat.

I slowly pull away and ask him. “Can you feel my love?”

His eyes grow wide with a mixture of something I can’t pinpoint. His mouth remains shut as a sign that he won’t respond to me.

My heart plummets by his stillness. He must be really angry with me and refuses to believe my words.

Gathering my courage, I tiptoe and kiss him again. His body slightly shivers when our lips touch. I deepen the kiss, hoping that he’ll kiss me back, but he remains unresponsive.

“Can you feel my love?” After pulling away for the second time, I repeat the same question with a shaky voice.

“No.” His answer comes out like a cold winter. In this dimly lit room, I see a glimpse of a corner of his mouth lift up like a smirk mocking me.

My heart freezes. My body is paralyzed. I hear shatter in my ears like something inside of me broke. It takes me for a while to compose myself.

Didn’t he just say he never tried to let me go and will be by my side?

I smile with bitterness. How could I blame him when I always push him away. This is how he felt when he was rejected by me many times. Honestly, I deserve it. I’ve put him through hell for a year. My pain isn’t comparable to his.

Tears threaten to roll down from my eyes. But I try my best to not cry in front of him.

“I’m sorry. I know I must sound pathetic to you right now. You’re in so much pain because of me. I don’t know if I deserve to step back into your life. But can you give me a chance to show how much I love you?” My tone comes out desperate asking for his love. He had been pursuing me without discouragement, I can’t back down by one rejection.

His eyes roam around my face and turn darker. “Do you really love me?” San asks me after studying my expression.

“Yes, I do love yo-” Before I finish my sentence, cold lips crash into mine. His hand grabs behind my neck and the other hugs my waist, my body colliding into his. My brain goes blank for a second before I realize what happened.

His kiss is so intense like he’ll devour me whole. I can feel his pain and loneliness that he has been suffering. His anger and fear, his love and longing. I can feel it all through our connected lips.

My arms circle around his shoulder and I kiss him back. I press my body closer to his and allow tears to flow freely from my eyes.

“You love me.” San mumbles in a low hoarse voice when our lips part. His thumbs gently brush my tears away. His expression changes between disbelief and exhilaration.

I nod in daze as my head is still spinning like I just rode a rollercoaster.

“You love me.” San mutters again as if to confirm that what I said was true.

“Yes, I love you.” I firmly answer him and smile through my tears that keep rolling down on my cheeks.

“You love me.” He repeats like he’s afraid that it’s an illusion.

I tighten my arms around his shoulders and give him a genuine smile. “The man who I used to be scared of, the man who told me feelings are for the coward but he ended up falling for me, the same man who always risks his life to protect me, and the man who promises to be my dagger.” I smile wider and stare right into his eyes. “The man in front of me right now whose name is San is the person I love the most. I love you Sannie.”

Although the surrounding is quite dark, the man in front of me is glowing. His gleaming eyes radiate with new emotion, only pure happiness remains in them. His mouth gradually curves upward, revealing his dimples that I always want to see.

“I didn’t know you love me.” He mumbles, sounding as if he still doesn’t grasp reality. He glances downward for a moment like he’s processing.

After a moment, he looks up to meet my gaze. “I’ve always been waiting for you, Star. My love for you doesn’t change and it’ll never change.” He says before connecting our lips again.

This time he moves slower and gentler. My whole being melts into his sweet kiss. My heart blooms with indescribable happiness. I can feel his lips spread into a smile. We lost track of time, breathing in each other’s feelings. San pulls away first when his kiss is getting too passionate.

“Can you feel my love?” San asks, his tone raspy and seductive. “Do you want to feel it more?”

I nod as if being hypnotized. With a dangerous smirk, he lifts me up in bridal style and places me on his small bed. He lies by my side, gently my hair with a gleaming gaze reflecting from the lamp at his nightstand.

I stare back at him and we lost in each other's eyes. His warm breath fan over my face and I feel my skin getting hotter.

San leans closer and closer, decreasing distance between our lips.

“Wait!” I suddenly shout, making San halts with a raised brow. “Lock the door. We don’t wanna have the purple headed intruder, do we?”

San chuckles in his throat, his eyes glint dangerously before he goes to lock the door. If Wooyoung interrupts us this time, I’m sure we’ll have to select a new First mate soon.

As San turns around and saunters toward the bed, I forget how to breathe. I watch him hover above me. He caresses my cheek with his hot fingers and places a warm kiss on my forehead.

“Ready to feel my love?” He asks with a hint of smirk. His burning gaze heats up my whole body.

I can’t answer him because he takes my breath away with that question. His face gradually leans closer. My heart thumps loudly like it’ll explode.

That night we showered each other with so much love.

—

The next day, I groan as soon as I open my eyes. My body aches so bad. I feel my energy drain from my body. Yet, my heart is filled with euphoria.

I sense a pair of dark eyes watching me from beside me. I crane my neck to the side and see the man who took my heart away. His dark eyes are glinting with bright red hue while he watches me closely. Between his cheeks, his dimples are saying Hi to me.

My heart melts at the sight. I stare at him, admiring his beauty then remember how we were intensely showering each other's love last night. My cheeks flush and I cover my face behind my hands.

“Star.” His morning raspy voice makes my inside turn soft.

“Morning, Sannie.” I say, still covering my face. I’ve never felt this shy in my entire life. A warm hand grabs my wrist and pulls away from my face. I struggle to maintain eye contact with him without blushing madly.

His smile grows wider. He snuggles me closer to him. I feel his body heat under the same thin blanket.

My heart palpitates. I bite my lower lip to prevent myself from squeaking.

“Star.” He calls me again. My heart swoons at his morning voice. Then he leans in closer and lightly brushes our lips together. And he slowly traces his lips to my jawline.

I dig my nails into the hard bed. And I let out a squeak when his lips travel to my neck. San stops and pulls away to look at me. Embarrassed, I snuggle into his chest. He chuckles with a hint of satisfaction for successfully teasing me and pats my head. We stay in that position for a while and I pull away when I feel like I’m ready to face him.

But it’s a mistake. Soft morning light reflects his glowing skin, his dimples are still present and his eyes are curving into a lovely shape.

I let out another sequel and snuggle back to him. San pats my head and says the same sentence from last night that makes me laugh.

“You love me.”

“I haven’t shown you how much I love you enough?” Even when I say this shameless sentence, my cheeks are burning.

San hums in his throat, showing me a blank facade. “I don’t know.”

I stare at him in disbelief. When I spot a sly smirk, I know immediately that he’s teasing me. I pinch his cheek as a payback. Then I remember a similar situation from last night. It’ll bother me to my grave if I don’t get an answer from him.

“Last night were you really angry with me?”

San’s expression falters. A flash of guilt passes across his face. “I was angry at myself.”

I look at him questioningly.

“I told you I would be by your side even if you didn’t love me. But when I heard you and captain made up. I couldn’t control myself.”

Because he looks like he’s blaming himself, I quickly apologize to him. “I’m sorry. I should’ve explained to you earlier.”

“Don’t.” San says sharply.

I blink at his perplexing response.

“I like the way you confessed to me.” He continues with a mischievous smirk.

Blood rushes to my face. I shamelessly kissed him twice and begged him for his love. “So you pretended you didn’t feel my love. How could you!” I huff and pinch both of his cheeks a little harder.

San laughs. His melodic voice rings in my ears. My mouth ajar in awe. As he notices me stares at him absentmindedly, he halts his laughter. The sweetness in his eyes quickly changes into a dangerous glint in a millisecond.

“I want to feel your love again, Star.” His hand my , making my skin heat up.

I gulp down, my head turning dizzy. When his hot lips press onto mine, I completely forget I’m supposed to be shy.

—

After we shower each other with love again in the morning, San and I go to the kitchen at lunch time.

Mingi, Yunho, Jongho, and Yeosang are sitting at a large table, chatting about horror stories from last night’s session, and I overhear their conversation because of Mingi’s thunderous voice. They stop talking when San and I head toward them after we pick up our food trays.

“Shooting Star, sit here!” The master gunner beckons at me while shooting San a nasty glare. I spot dark circles under his eyes. He was probably scared by San’s horror story and lost sleep. Poor Mingi.

However, I sit next to San on the opposite side of him.

“Hey, why do you have to sit with that guy?” Mingi whines and doesn’t forget to continue glaring at San.

“You asked the wrong question.” The navigator beside him chimes in with a mischievous smirk. I suddenly feel goosebumps form on my arms with his wiggling eyebrow. “You should ask her why she missed breakfast and came with Sannie.”

A corner of my lips twitches by Yunho’s remark. The guys instantly turn to us with a scrutinizing gaze. Sweat breaks on my forehead under their intense stares. Trying to act natural, I pick up a spoon to drink the soup but I spill all the contents because of my shaky hand.

On the other hand, San appears normal in his usual self and he starts eating like he isn’t the mentioned person. While I’m thinking of a way to divert my friends’ attention, someone adds oil to the fire.

“Because Little Star stayed in my cabin, which is his cabin, all night.” The overly cheerful voice of the purple haired first mate announces my secret as he enters the kitchen with Yeojin behind him.

Every single soul in the kitchen gasps, their jaws drop to the ground. All eyes turn toward San and me. Suffocate silence quickly engulfs the room.

I clench my teeth and give Wooyoung a dead glare for exposing us. However, this guy only returns me with an annoying smirk. Because I can’t punch him myself, I turn to San, thinking he’s preparing to beat his best friend, but all I see is a satisfied smirk.

“Is it true?! Tell me it’s not true, Shooting Star!!!” Mingi reacts first. He bolts out of his seat, yelling like his wife cheated on him. “You!!” He turns to San with a scowl, “What did you do to her last night!?!?”

An evil smirk spreads on San’s lips as he calmly answers Mingi’s question. “Do you really want to know?”

Mingi’s face immediately turns ashen. His body falls down to the seat like his soul leaves his body. Another wave of shock takes over the room. Yunho dramatically clasps his hand over his mouth, looking like he’s imagining stuff that he shouldn’t. A piece of meat falls from Jongho’s mouth, he isn’t even blinking.

I slap my forehead by the commotion and turn to glare at Wooyoung who very much enjoys the scene. Beside him, Yeojin is also blown away by shocking news.

The only person who looks the most calm is Yeosang although his body slightly tenses up.

“You two are together?” He asks with a careful tone.

“Yes.”

That wasn’t my answer as San answers for me. He casually cuts a small piece of meat and stabs it with the fork, and holds it in front of my mouth.

I look at San, at the meat, at my friends and the crew. Sweat rolls down from my forehead.

But since it’s the first time that San shows affection in public, I can’t turn him down. I open my quivering mouth and eat the meat. San smiles, flashing his dimples. Surprised gasps resonate across the kitchen for the third time.

Wooyoung squeals from our interaction, “I’m so proud of you mate.” Then he starts blabbing about how good he is for being San’s love guru. Yeojin pinches his waist to shut him up and anxiously glances at her brother.

I bite my lower lip and watch Yeosang’s reaction. He only smiles at me as usual, but I can’t shake away my worry.

“So you two are really together?” Mingi repeats Yeosang’s question with a defeated tone.

“C’mon, red head, they spent a night together. Of course, they’re officially lovers.” Wooyoung put his hands on his hips, annoyed by Mingi’s question.

Jack, who appears out of nowhere, runs toward our table. “Wow, Miss Star and Mr.San are together. Yasss, I won the bet!!!” He screams and jumps around the kitchen. And the crew who bet on San start cheering like they just realize that they won. Whilst the crew who lost the bet all cry bitter tears.

I scan around the room and massage my temple. This is not what I picture. I plan to tell my friends later with careful words that will not cause a huge uproar.

Suddenly, San pulls out a dagger that he normally uses and throws it toward Jack. It plunges into a floor near his feet, making him scream in terror and fall onto his .

Everyone is shocked with the sudden attack. I quickly grab San’s arm, afraid that he might hurt the lad.

However, San smirks at Jack with no killing aura. “Take it.”

Jack blinks in confusion, not understanding what he just heard.

“Take it.” San repeats, a smirk still present on his lips.

“T-this is for me.” Jack points at the dagger with a shaky finger.

“Um.” San hums in his throat.

Jack scrambles to his feet to pull the dagger out of the floor and raises it over his head like it’s some kind of sacred item. He lets out a delighted squeal and bows toward San. “Thank you Mr.San!”

Then he skips outside the kitchen with a loud shout. “Mr.San’s devil is gone. My soul is safe. Mr.San and Miss Star are together!! They spent a night together!!!!!”

I want to dig a hole and escape to another dimension as Jack practically announces San and I’s relationship to the whole ship.

Sighing, I peer back to the table and all eyes are still focused on San and me.

“What about me? I was on your side from day one but I can’t even touch any of your daggers.” Wooyoung scoffs with a look of betrayal. “I can’t believe you did this to your best mate. I should’ve supported someone else.” He continues grumbling on and on.

San glares at Wooyoung with a visible irritation on his face. He grabs another dagger and stabs it on the table, an inch away from Wooyoung's hand.

The purple haired guy immediately shut up. He slowly retracts his precious hand back to his side. “N-nevermind, mate. I-I don’t want your dagger anymore.”

Seeing the frightened Wooyoung, Yeojin pats his back and secretly shoots San a nasty glare.

“Congratulations.” Yeosang speaks up after being quiet for a long time. “I’m really happy for you both. I trust that San can protect you.” He smiles sincerely.

“Thank you, Yeosang.” Seeing how genuine he looks, my worry dissipates. San quietly nods his head to acknowledge Yeosang’s well wishes.

Mingi sighs. “I’m happy for you shooting Star, but why does it have to be this guy? I can’t lose to him!” He glares at San who’s smiling softly beside me. San doesn't even bother with his remark and continues feeding me with more meat. “Ugh! I lost my appetite!” Mingi pushes his plate away and receives an elbow jab into his stomach by Jongho.

“Don’t be rude!” Jongho scolds the older guy before turning to us. “Congrats.” Jongho says, scratching his nape like he isn’t sure what to say. “Ah- this is strange. I don’t know what to say under this circumstance.”

I giggle at him while the others sigh.

Yunho folds his arms while giving us a judgemental gaze. “I knew something was up since last night when both of you kept staring at each other. And I was right.” He playfully slaps the table and turns to San.

“Sannie, you should be careful, Star here sleeps like a starfish. One day she’ll take over your bed- Ouch!” Yunho winces when I kick him under the table.

Although Yunho is joking, San looks like he takes his word into consideration.

“Starrr,” Yeojin whines. “I was so worried when you didn’t come back last night. I had to sleep with Woo- uh, sleep alone until morning!!” She stutters, blinking rapidly. Her behavior is similar to me a moment ago.

Her stutter raises suspicion from everyone.

“Where did you sleep last night, Wooyoung?” Yeosang asks without looking at the first mate. His tone is surprisingly hair-raising.

“I stayed with the crew.” Wooyoung answers casually.

“Nah, I didn’t see him last night. Because I were with them.” Jongho says nonchalantly. Apparently, Mingi slept alone last night. I spot Mingi sulky face from the corner of my eyes.

Yeosang smiles turn chilly while placing his cutlery down. “Is there something you want to tell me, brother and sister?”

Wooyoung and Yeojin turn pale. They peer at one another, communicating through telepathy.

“He slept with her last night.” San says out of the blue.

“Yahhh!!!” Wooyoung screams at his mate. Then a thud sound can be heard when Yeosang stabs the knife into the table, causing the wood to crack under his force.

He glares at Wooyoung and rises to his feet. His whole face turns beet red, his jaws clenched. “How dare you, Jung Wooyoung!!”

Wooyoung bolts right up from the seat and sprints outside the kitchen with the devil mode Yeosang closely chasing behind him. Yeojin ruffles her hair in frustration and runs after them.

We all sigh as the drama unfolds. I guess everyone kind of knows that Wooyoung and Yeojin are together, except Yeosang.

We resume our lunch in peace. I spot Jongho has a flushing face. Poor baby, he has to listen to vulgar stuff.

“What with all the fuss?” The grumpy quartermaster strides into the kitchen with a heavy frown. Outside, Jack is still screaming incoherent words. Yeosang and Wooyoung run around with Yeojin following behind them. He peers at our table to see a stern looking San, sulky Mingi, blushing Jongho, tearful Yunho counting his coins, and the cheering and mourning crew.

Then Seonghwa eyes me warily as if he excuses me for their weird behaviors. And I gladly return the same look to him.

“Quartermaster,” To our surprise, San speaks up.

Seonghwa looks at him with slight shock since San barely talks to him first.

“Star and I need a bigger bed. My current one is too small for her.” San finishes his sentence with a relaxed expression after voicing out his concern. Silence conquers the entire room as if everyone stops breathing.

San gets up and grabs my wrist, leading me outside the dead silent kitchen. I can’t help but look back into the room.

Seonghwa’s shocked face will forever haunt me in my dream.

—

The news of San and I becoming lovers travels fast, including Wooyoung and Yeojin’s couple. Thanks to Jack, of course.

After San took me outside the kitchen, I went back to my cabin to change clothes and took a rest while he went to do whatever his duty was. Not long after, Yeojin skips into the room with a grin spreading from ear to ear. I don’t have to ask her why because she starts pouring everything out.

Yeosang apparently allows Wooyoung and her to be together. Yeosang wasn’t going against them from the start, but he didn’t want them to get hurt like in the past. Wooyoung and Yeojin then promised to not bring their problems to Yeosang since they believe that they’re now mature enough to handle their issues.

“I can’t believe we are officially back together!” She squeals delightedly, hugging her pillow to her chest. “Back then we hid our relationship from everyone because we didn’t want to create a commotion among the crew, especially to my brother. Our circumstances at that time weren't great.”

Yoejin gets up and heads to sit on my bed with a sullen face. Her mood seems to quickly change. “Wooyoung and I had to work together all the time. It was painfully awkward since he treated me like I was his sister even though I love him as a man.”

I listen attentively to her love story that she never leaked to me before.

“A whole year when you were absent, it was tough for all of us. Everyone was struck in their grief. I saw Wooyoung secretly drinking alone and cried. All I could do was to stay strong and be beside him.”

Yeojin smiles to herself, her eyes glistening with tears. I reach to squeeze her hand and she returns me with a grateful smile.

“I was there when he was at his weakest and he was there for me when I broke down. And one night, he drunkenly confessed to me that he no longer viewed me as a sister. He wasn’t sure when or how but he felt that everything would be okay if I stayed beside him, and he would be completely devastated if he lost me to someone else.”

Her smile gets wider and she wipes her tears away. I almost cry with Yeojin but her expression quickly forms into a scowl.

“But youl!!” She shouts, making me startle with a sudden change of mood. “I thought you were with Captain Mullet last night, not that I supported him or anything. But you were actually with San!” Her voice keeps getting louder.

“You could’ve told me that you chose him so I would stop setting you up with Yeosang.” She chews her lower lip, looking like she’ll bite my arm off.

“Sorry, I just realized my feelings yesterday.” I answer in a small voice.

She sighs and waves her hand dismissively. “Nevermind, after anyone saw how San jumped into the water to save you, they would fall in love with him too.”

I raise my eyebrow at her, making her shift uncomfortably.

“C’mon, what I meant is that San didn’t hesitate to jump into the sea to rescue you so it shows that he truly loves you. I believe he’ll even sacrifice his life to save you. If you still didn’t love him, your heart must've been made of rock!” Yeojin wrinkles her nose under my examining gaze.

“Wooyoung would do the same if I were in danger. And he’d look more attractive than your scary man.” Her comment makes me snort.

“Anyway, I’m really happy for you.” She gives me a tight hug.

“I’m happy for you too.” I hug her back. “But San is way more attractive than your Dolphin.”

Because of my honest comment, a war starts between us best friends.

—

We stayed at the island longer because two couples needed bigger beds. The crew vigorously helped us build the beds due to the quartermaster’s command. I was mindblowned by the fact that Seonghwa actually followed San’s request. Hence I officially moved to San’s cabin and Wooyoung moved in with Yeojin.

After San and I became a couple for over a month, I found out that he is a skinship monster. His arm always latches onto my waist, he shamelessly kissed my cheek when we were in front of the entire crew. The crew nearly had a heart attack because of how drastic San changed. When I told him to keep it moderate, he said he just wanted to show his affection for me with a sad kitten expression. I was totally defeated.

The best part is San smiles more often and talks in longer sentences. He slightly opened up with the crew even though it’s a slow progress since not many of them are brave enough to approach San and he is too awkward to approach them.

During free time, San hung around with me and the silly group that consisted of Mingi, Wooyoung, Yeojin, Yunho, and Jongho, although the younger man didn’t want to be there but he was forced by Mingi.

Moreover, San became a regular member of the horror storytelling group and reigned as the best horror storyteller of Stargazer with his short but hair-raising stories. Even I’m amazed with his talent.

However, one person isn’t satisfied with this change. The master gunner feels competitive since he’s the worst storyteller of the ship. So he always finds every opportunity to challenge San.

Same as today, Mingi glowers at San who sits opposite of him, “I’m sick of your stories! Tell me your worst fear!”

The crew let out soft Ooh sounds and lean their bodies toward San to listen to his answer.

San peers at Mingi with a stoic expression, he quiets down for about a minute before connecting his warm gaze with me.

“I’m only scared of losing you.”

The seriousness in his tone makes my heart flutter. I hit lightly on his chest for making me shy.

San holds my hand firmly and doesn't intend to let go. A small smile spreads on his mouth. I giggle and use another hand to softly pinch his cheek. “I’m scared of losing you too, Sannie.”

A series of barfing sounds dominates the storage room and the next thing we know, we’re already in the dark hallway. Because the gossip group kicked us out and decided to ban us from joining the horror story group from today onward.

I couldn’t blame them though cause we managed to turn a scary session into a cringey atmosphere.

Before we left the room, I turned to Mingi who had a big DEFEAT written on his forehead. Even though he’s my best friend, he should stop challenging my man. Because he always loses in the worst way possible that I start to pity him.

Beside Mingi, Yunho faked throwing up and exaggerated his shudders. And the other crew had the expression of eating rotten food. Only one person squealed cheerily. Jack, our number 1 supporter.

“I didn’t know you have this side of you.” I rest my head on San’s shoulder while he’s giving me a piggy ride back to our cabin.

“I’m only on your side.” He responds to me in a calm tone.

“See! See!” I point out. Someone must’ve taught him how to talk like this. And that person could be only his best friend who has lame pickup lines.

San chuckles lightly. My heart flutters every time he laughs. His laughter is like a rare treasure that I try to hunt with my humorless joke.

Soon we reached our cabin. A silhouette emerges from the dark hallway and stops right in front of us.

Hongjoong nods at me before peering at San. A crease appears between his eyebrows. “Can I have a few words with you?”

After Hongjoong and I talked that night, our relationship got better day by day. Now we can talk without feeling awkward or pressured.

I get down from San’s back and smile at him, allowing him to go. After San followed Hongjoong to his quarter, I wait inside our cabin, feeling uneasy at how serious Hongjoong looks. I hope nothing bad happens.

When San comes back, heavy air hangs around him. I ask him what he talked with Hongjoong. But he refuses to answer and says he’ll tell me later when the time is right.

After that night, San becomes more secretive. He talks to other guys in private without letting me in the conversation. I try to get an answer from my friends but they also refuse to tell me, saying it’s nothing I should be concerned about.

One day, eight of them disappear into the quarter room. Yeojin and I try to eavesdrop at the door but hear nothing.

“Why are they being so secretive?” Yeojin grumbles. She also asked Wooyoung and received ‘I’ll tell you later.’ as an answer.

Since Yeojin and I are curious people, we have to find out the truth before the suspense is killing us.

While we’re pressing our ears into the door, a corner of our eyes recognizes Jack walking past us. I exchange glances with Yeojin and we both nod in understanding. Then I quickly beckon the lad and he skips toward me with a giant grin.

“Jack, I need you to do me a favor.” I cut him off before he greets me.

Jack’s grin grows wider. He loves it when he is trusted to do something.

“Go inside and listen to what they’re talking about.” Yeojin says.

His grin falters. He makes a horrid expression and shakes his head fervently. “No way, I’m not going in there. I still want to live a long life and marry Miss Aurora.”

Before he runs away, Yeojin opens the door while I push him inside the room, then Yeojin slam the door shut.

We pray for Jack’s life for a half second before retreating to somewhere else because we don’t want to get caught redhanded at the door. So we pretend to hang out at the main deck. After around 15 minutes, Jack soulessly walks toward us.

“So?” Yeojin and I fold our arms.

“I…errr…” Jack fumbles with the hem of his shirt nervously. “I need a toilet!!!” He shrieks and sprints away before we can react.

I almost cuss at him when I spot San heading toward me. My ugly scowl quickly replaced by an innocent angelic smile.

“Sannie, how was the meeting? Are you tired?” I hug his arm and peck on his cheek. San returns me with a smile, showing cute dimples and shaking his head.

Yeojin snickers at our interaction and instantly smiles sweetly when she sees Wooyoung coming. She shamelessly copies my move as she also hugs Wooyoung’s arm and pecks on his cheek.

“Wooyoung-ah, how was the meeting? Are you tired?”

She even copied my whole sentence!

Wooyoung beams at her before pouting cutely. “I’m soooo tired. But when I see your face, I suddenly regain strength.” His cringey response earns Yeojin’s giggle.

I watch them in disdain while San looks at Wooyoung attentively. I immediately grab his face. He looks at me with a start. “Promise me, you won’t act like him!”

—

Since Yeojin and I failed to retrieve information out of Jack, my last option was to interrogate the mastermind. Hence, I trespassed into the quarter room with Yeojin looking out for me outside the room.

“Hello, Captain.” My greeting startles the captain of Stargazer who’s sipping his favorite wine at the window sill.

Hongjoong gives me a wary look when he doesn’t spot San with me. Because lately, we stick together all the time.

“What brought you here?” He asks.

“You know why I’m here.” I narrow my eyes at him. “What did you tell San? Why does he look stressed out?”

A wry smirk appears on his lips, he heads to sit comfortably at his red velvet couch and asks me. “He didn’t tell you anything?”

I shake my head. No matter how I tried to pry the answer out of him, he wouldn’t utter a thing and always shut my mouth with his lips. Not that I complain though.

“Then it’s none of my business.” Hongjoong chuckles before sipping his wine.

His snarky answer makes my vein pulse. I dart toward him fearlessly. “Tell me now or say goodbye to your mullet.”

Hongjoong chokes on his wine. “M-my mullet!!” He shrinks, eyes widened with shock. “What are you going to do with my mullet?!”

I don’t respond to him, but offer him a challenging smirk.

“Do you know what punishment you’ll receive for assaulting the captain of the ship?” He places his wine glass down and rises to his feet. I raise my head to look at him even though I don't want to acknowledge that he’s taller than me.

“Do you know that I can run out of the room, crying pitifully, and people will think that you’re a bad guy.” I retort, raising my chin higher.

Hongjoong scoffs in disbelief, running his hand through his hair. “Miss Star, you’re really something.” His shock expression soon dissolves and a sly grin that makes the hair at my back stand appears.

“But you forget who I used to be in the past.”

—

I came to threat Hongjoong, but end up being threatened instead. Hongjoong announced to the crew that I wanted to be more useful for the ship so he assigned me to help Seonghwa with documents.

The crew all praised me and San looked proud of me so I sorrowfully swallowed a protest and received the new position. Hongjoong also promised to raise my allowance for doing more work so it wouldn’t be bad. Right?

Nope, it was hell.

Seonghwa was so close to feeding me to Kraken when I made a mistake. He rebuked me non-stop until my ears bleed. He was the type of boss that you wanted to flatten his car tires after resigning from a company.

But I couldn’t blame him though. Seonghwa is so detail-oriented and manages his work meticulously. While I’m just a lazy woman who wants to be with her lover 24/7. I beg him to let me go but he seems to like torturing me.

After that day, Hongjoong and I became frenemy. We verbally fight each other whenever we meet. But since he’s the former Pirate King who was infamous for his cunningness, I wasn't his opponent.

Thus I coax San everyday to cut off his mullet as revenge. San only chuckled and said that Hongjoong is his captain so he couldn’t betray him.

Without a choice, I changed my target to Mr.Grumpy.

“I couldn’t. Seonghwa is my benefactor.” San replied with a serious expression. I gave him a weird look so San continued explaining himself.

“Back when you boarded the Revenge, he ordered me to keep an eye on you. That was when I fell in love with you.”

His answer made me see the grumpy man in a new light. Seonghwa is actually our matchmaker.

—

After a week of a torturing job, I accepted my reality and unwillingly became Seonghwa’s apprentice. His work covers accounting, managing stock of goods, drafting contracts, overseeing the crews’ well-being, preparing reports for Hongjoong, and so on. But even when he’s super busy, he still has time to scold me. What a Multitasking King behavior. I salute him.

Today I lied to Seonghwa that I was sick. He didn't bat an eyelash and dismissed me right away. Now I lazily roll on my big bed in my cabin alone. San is somewhere on the ship, working on his shift.

Currently, Stargazer anchors near the small island where San and I became lovers. Hongjoong chose this destination because the villagers on this island have no idea who they were so it’s safe for the crew to have a relaxing time on the island.

When I’m about to travel to my dreamland, someone knocks on the door. I keep my eyes shut as I know who it is. Light footsteps approach me, then warm lips press against my forehead. I open my eyes to see San’s handsome face above me.

“Star, go swim with me. I heard the beach at the island is beautiful.” His tone is somewhat robotic and his smile is slightly stiff.

I want to decline at first because Seonghwa will know that I lied to him and I’m still too sleepy, but then the realization hits me. San never stepped foot on land no matter how hard I tried to persuade him. Because he feared that someone might recognize him. But since we’re on this island, he is safe from the outside world.

“Sure. Let me change first.” I’m now fully awake. San nods and leaves the room after saying that he’ll wait for me at the rowboat.

I jump off the bed and quickly rummage through my drawers to find my best dress. Since this is my first date with him outside the ship, I have to look gorgeous.

Another knocks on the door and Yeojin peeks her head inside the room to see the clothes scatter all over the floor. She sighs and shows me a dress that I’ve never seen before. “Need help?”

—

With Yeojin’s magic, I finish dressing up in less than 20 minutes. I whirl around in front of the mirror, watching myself clad in a long black dress that has a y side slit to my mid thigh. My hair is tied up into a bun with loose strands beside my face. I don’t look like I’m going to swim. I look too gorgeous to get soaking wet.

Yeojin looks at me proudly. Then I wonder how she knew I needed to dress up. She stutters a little before saying that San told her to help me.

It’s suspicious but I shrug. I’m too happy to doubt little things at this moment. Then Yeojin and I head to the outside deck and spot a crowd of men surrounding San. I stomp toward them thinking they’re gagging up on my man, but when I get closer, the scene is too strange to comprehend.

San stands in the middle. Wooyoung in front of him places his hands on San’s shoulder, saying something with a serious expression to San like a football coach.

Mingi also says something from the side, but it seems like San completely ignores him.

Hongjoong pats San’s back like a father who’s about to send his kid to school on the first day.

Yeosang tries to correct Wooyoung’s sentence and speaks to San instead.

And Yunho nods along, adding comments here and there. Whilst Jongho listens attentively to the side.

Seonghwa stands slightly away from the group, when he spots me, he clears his throat. But the guys don’t hear him so he coughs louder. Still, they’re too engrossed in the conversation.

“We’re here!!” Yeojin shouts, earning the guys’ attention. Their eyes turn wide like they see a ghost, except San who looks at me like he spots an angel.

San strides toward me and circles his arm around my waist. “You look beautiful, my Star. You’re like the rarest black pearl of the seven seas.”

A grin breaks on my face. Sometimes he’d stare at me and randomly praise me with a unique compliment that obviously doesn’t come from Wooyoung.

“You look handsome too, like a…” I pause, thinking hard. “Like a cute little kitten!”

San is taken aback by my words, yet he tries to keep his smile. Our friends chuckle quietly, except Mingi who laughs like there’s no tomorrow.

I reach to gently pinch San’s cheek as a way to apologize. San hates to be associated with cute stuff. Yet he always acts in that direction so it’s not entirely my fault.

Honestly, San looks otherworldly handsome today. His hair neatly sweeps backward, revealing his forehead. He wears a long black coat and button down his black shirt, which I can see a glimpse of his toned honey chest. He wears black leather pants that fit him perfectly. In conclusion, he looks too gorgeous to go swimming.

San leans into my hand and kisses my palm. His affectionate gesture earns gagging sounds from our friends. I turn to glare at them and cross my arms. “What were you guys doing? Did you bully my Sannie!?”

“No! We just gave him advice!!” Mingi shouts and quickly slaps his mouth in panic. The others facepalm and give him warning glares.

I snort at how suspicious they act. I scan my friends’ faces. They all avert their gaze away from me. So I turn to Yeojin. She jumps in the air and skips toward Wooyoung to escape my question.

“Let’s go.” San tugs my wrist, stopping me from further investigation.

I decide to drop my suspicion since I have a hot date with my boyfriend. But I turn to ask my friends out of courtesy. “Well, you guys wanna go with us?”

“NOOO!!!!!” They roar in unison. My ears ring from their loud shouts.

“Jeez, it’s just a friendly invitation, you guys don’t have to be so offended.” I scowl at them and massage my ears.

They all look sheepish and peer apologetically in San way. San returns them with a cold look, so cold that my hair is also raised. I give our friends one last threatening look for making my Sannie unhappy before disembarking Stargazer and board the rowboat. Strangely, they keep waving at us until we reach the island.

—

San takes me to a beach hidden behind rows of coconut trees, separating us from the outside world. The beach stretches far and wide where only two of us occupy the place.

We intertwine our hands while sauntering along the beach. The sky is spotless, golden sand below my feet is soft and warm, clear aquamarine blue water tempting me to jump into the water.

After walking for a while, I turn to San with a giant grin. My step halts and my face falters when I notice how tense San looks. His gaze cast downward, his mind wandering elsewhere.

I wave my hand in front of him and he returns me with a tight lipped smile. Happiness still presents on his expression, yet he can’t hide the worry that gathers behind his facade.

“We can go back to the ship if you want. I also start to feel tired.” I say after we’re here only for 10 minutes. But this is the first time in a year that San goes ashore so I understand that he’s anxious.

San shakes his head, changing the topic. “Do you like it?”

“I absolutely love it!” Not because this place is beautiful but because I'm here with you. I say it in my mind.

San’s body turns relaxed, but in a next second, nervousness consumes his mind again. He reaches toward his belt and pulls out a dagger, handing it toward me.

“San dagger?” I stare at the familiar dagger and memories flooding back to me. The first time I received San dagger was when he threw it at me. I chuckle at the reminiscence.

I take off the sheath and see letters carved on the blade. I squint my eyes to read it.

𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓇 & 𝒮𝒶𝓃

“You made this?” I ask in awe, lifting up my eyes to meet him.

“Marry me.” San says quietly.

“What…” My mind goes back when I think I misheard his sentence. San stares at me intently although he’s trying his best to lift both corners of his mouth.

“D-did you just propose to me?” I’m still too shocked to think straight.

San nods his head, a sign of trouble written on his face when I haven’t answered him yet.

Giggles escape my lips when everything clicks. The reason why he acts strange is because he prepared to propose to me.

My heart turns soft at his effort. I insert the dagger into the sheath and place it above my heart and another hand reaches to hold his clammy hand.

When the gentle sea breeze passes us, and when the world seems to quiet down. I open my mouth to give him the answer that he has been waiting for.

“I’m already committed to you the day I said I love you. So yes, I’ll marry you.”

San holds his breath and slowly exhales out of relief. Glee dances inside his orbs. His mouth is slightly ajar but he looks too stunned to utter a word.

“You must be so stressed out preparing for the proposal.” I notice how stiff he appeared before coming here. “Thank you, Sannie. I appreciate it.” I shift closer to hug him. I bury my face into his chest and breathe in his scent. San pats my back and buries his nose into the top of my head.

After a moment, San withdraws from the hug. He furrows his brows like something troubles him again. “I forgot my lines before asking you to marry me.” He mumbles and I have to bite my tongue to hold my giggle.

The air around him changes into a serious atmosphere. His gaze holds on me firmly

“There was a time when I looked at you and wondered why you chose me.” He says with an unwavering voice. “But those thoughts gradually disappeared. Because you show me that you love me for who I am. And I came to accept myself.”

“I’m not good with words, but I want you to know that…” Bright smile gradually blossoms on his mouth, and his eyes shine brightly under the sun. “I love you more than anything.”

Happiness overflows from my heart and travels to my eyes as I feel tears swell up in them. “I love you too, Sannie.”

San engulfs me into his warm embrace. We hear the sound of waves crashing against the shore like people applaud us, tree leaves rustling in the wind like they cheer for us, birds chirping into a melody like they sing for us.

San heaves a sigh after we pull away from a long hug. “I’m sorry for worrying you. Captain saw that you moved into my cabin for a month so he told me I should respect you and ask you to marry me.”

“What a conservative man.” I mutter under my breath. Hongjoong had good intentions but he dared handing me to the grumpy quartermaster. I’m not going to forgive him soon.

“I had no idea what to do so I sought help from my mates.” He continues with an apologetic look. “I chose this island because this is where we fell in love. And this dagger brought me to you.”

“It’s perfect.” I smile gratefully. San went out of his way to surprise me. Seeing that he’s now smiling dazzlingly lifts a heavy weight off my chest. Then my mouth twitches when I recall what happened recently on the ship. “But stop listening to the guys, they're a bad influence.”

“Umm. They didn’t help much. Their advice was ridiculous.” San says and we end up laughing together. His head slightly bends backward and he laughs with an open mouth, his eyelids almost shut. My laughter subsides as I fall into a trance, mesmerized by the man in front of me.

“Swim?” San asks out of the blues after his laughter ceases.

“Sure.”

I place San dagger down and reach to untie a bow behind my back. Soon the black dress falls down to my feet, leaving me in my hot pink bikini that I wore while traveling to this dimension. Seakeeper used to tell me to keep it in case I’d use it in the future. Could it be that she foresaw this event?

San stares at me like he has been struck by lightning, his neck and ears turn red. He averts his gaze to the sand, making me giggle inwardly. It’s rare to see him shy.

Then it’s his turn to take off his shirt. His chiseled upper body makes it hard for me to swallow my saliva. The air immediately turns hot, I have to fan my face to cool down. San catches me staring at him and gives me a knowing smirk. Yet, I keep staring at him.

“Ready?” San asks before lifting me up in bridal style, heading to the sea. He gently lets me down when the sea level is at my waist level.

However, we don’t swim. Instead, we embrace and stare into each other's eyes, enjoying the love that passes between us without words.

“What the devil wants, the devil gets.” San breaks the silence, he whispers to me in a mischievous tone.

I remember the phrase that almost made me have a heart attack when he first confessed to me. At that time I only thought he was trying to kill me, so I didn’t believe right away that he had feelings for me. Now he’s the man that I settle to be with for the rest of my life.

“Let’s change it, because you’re not a devil.” I say, scrunching my nose. “But you’re devilishly handsome.”

San raises his brow, then he acknowledges my compliment with a smug grin. His dimples are too cute to resist so I kiss his cheeks with a loud Muah sound, making him smile wider.

“Ohh, I’m thinking of something.” I tighten my arms around his neck and lean my face closer toward his ear.

“What the Dimples want, the Dimples get.”

San looks thoughtful for a moment and finally says, “I like it.”

“What the Dimples want, the Dimples get.” San repeats my sentence before closing the distance between our lips.

Even though we kiss each other countless times a day, my heart is still beating erratically like it’s the first time. Our love is getting deeper and more meaningful as each day passes.

“Can you feel my love?” San says against my lips with his thumb caressing my cheek.

“Hmm...” I pretend to think, staring into his loving gaze. “I want you to show it to me again so I can decide.”

San chuckles heartily. His eyes turn into the crescent moon. His expression is brighter than today’s sky. And his dimples are waiting for me to press my lips against them.

Before he reclaims my lips, my mouth already charges right at his dimples.

And this is the end of SanStar ending. They're so sweet but why I'm crying (╥_╥)

Soo after reading 3 endings, which one is your favorite?