"Yena unnie~" I look at where the voice came from. 

 

 

 

 

 

"Joyul~" 

 

 

 

 

"Let's go home!" I smile as I held her hands. 

 

 

 

 

Jo Yuri, That was the name of my best friend. 

 

 

 

 

The one I fall in love with. 

 

 

 

 

but no were not a couple. 

 

 

 

 

We're just comfortable with each other, We've been friends for 3 years. And over that 3 years I develop feelings towards her. 

 

 

 

 

Call me coward but I don't want our friendship to be ruin, I don't want to lose the friend ship we have.. and also her herself. So I just kept it and just be contented on what we have.

 

 

 

 

 

 

People always misunderstand our sweetness, Our friends always tease us and were used to it. I'm always at her side and she do the same, Were inseparable. 

 

 

 

"Yuri?" I utter as I open her room door. 

 

 

There I saw her sleeping on her bed like a baby, she's on her pink pajama. I smile as I enter her room. 

 

 

Right I forgot to say, were living at the same apartment. That's our promise to each other when we were in high school , We promise that never leave each other side and were here, fulfilling our promise that we made. 

 

 

"Yuri ah~" I poked her cheeks, she just groan and change her position. I smile at her action. 

 

 

She's really hard to wake up and she really love to sleep. I'm just there admiring her face.

 

 

"When will I have the courage to tell you what I really feel? Will you be happy? but I don't want to lose you.." I look down and sighed. 

 

 

"If being your best friend can keep you near me.. then I'll just stay being your best friend." I kissed her forehead. 

 

 

 

"Sleepwell Yuri ah~" I said as I left her room. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time passed, It's our graduation day. The last day of being a college student, Our friends are already outside the venue waiting for us. 

 

 

"Yena!!" Our friends shouted as they wave their hands. 

 

 

"Congratulation guys!!" I shouted as I hugged them, They greeted me back. 

 

 

 

 

"Congratulation my duckyyyy~" Yuri pinched my cheeks.

 

 

"Aigoo~~ Congratulation too my hamsteer~" I pinched her cheeks and scrunch my nose. 

 

 

"Eyyyyyyy~~ Ducky? Hamster? What a sweet endearment~" Yujin teased, and now our friends are teasing us again. 

 

 

"Ey~~ don't be like that, you see my hamster is getting red~" I said as I put my hands around yuri's shoulder. 

 

 

My friends laughed, Only yujin knows what I really feel towards yuri. So my other friends just tend to think that I'm just kidding when I ride to their jokes. 

 

 

"Yuri~" Me and my friends look to where the voice came from. 

 

 

"Hyewonnie~" yuri remove my arms around her as she run towards that girl. 

 

 

'Hyewonnie? Who's this girl..' I thought as I saw them hugged. I don't wanna judge her and just wait for yuri to introduce her. 

 

 

 

"Guys~ I have something to tell you.." That's when I felt my blood rushing through my veins. I felt nervous because I think I know what she will say. 

 

 

 

"First of all sorry for keeping it a secret especially to you yena unnie~" yuri pouted. 

 

 

"This is Kang Hyewon, my girlfriend." Yuri smile, her smile that say she's genuinely happy. That hyewon girl bowed as she shakes our friends hand. 

 

 

And I was there..

 

 

Rooted at my place..

 

 

I felt my whole world collapse. 

 

 

That's why she keeps on being late to come home.. 

 

 

because she finally found her home..

 

 

I can see yujin at my peripheral vision. She's looking at me worriedly while my other friends are smiling towards yuri. 

 

 

 

"You must be Yena, yuri always tell me about you. Nice to meet you, thankyou for being there for yuri~" hyewon bowed. I was just speechless, there I saw yuri look at me worriedly. That's when I come to my sense, I shouldn't be obvious.

 

 

 

"Nice to meet you too hyewon. Please take care yuri~ She's a big eater" I joked to hide the pain. 

 

 

"Yah yena unnie.." yuri pouted. I chuckles.

 

 

'Now It's hurt when you call me unnie.. well because now I'm just your unnie.' I bitterly smile as I thought. 

 

 

"No worries, I think I can handle her." Yuri playfully hit hyewon. and I just smile..

 

 

 

"See you later, I'll come to pick you up. Are your things already pack?" yuri nodded, hyewon kissed yuri's forehead and bid a goodbye to us. 

 

 

 

Pack things?

 

 

Is she moving out?

 

 

Why isn't she saying a thing about that?

 

 

I look at her, and I saw a familiar expression.

 

 

She's apologizing.

 

 

She look at me like that when she accidentally broke my switch. 

 

 

but now.. 

 

 

She look at me like that because she's moving out.. 

 

 

leaving me with a broken switch..

 

 

 

and a broken heart. 

 

 

 

I sighed. 

 

 

 

Our friends bid a goodbye too, leaving me and yuri alone. 

 

 

 

 

"Unnie..." Yuri called me.

 

 

"You are moving out right? That's what you want to say right?" I softly said.

 

 

"Yena unnie..." I heard her voice crack, then a tears follow after.

 

 

"Why are you crying? I am not mad if that's what you think~" yuri sobbed as she walk towards me and hugged me.

 

 

She buried her head on my neck as she tightly hugged me. 

 

 

"I'm sorry for keeping everything a secret.. I am not worth being your best friend because I keep everything from you.." She said that make my heart aches, I force myself not to cry.

 

 

"You have a reason, I understand it.. You don't need to cry." I chuckles, yuri broke the hugged that I wish she didn't.

 

 

"You supposed to be mad at me... Why are you making it hard for me.. Why are you so kind that It makes me feel guilty.." Yuri sobbed, she's really the cutest. 

 

 

I cupped her cheeks as I wipe her tears. No matter how much I want to be mad at her, I can't. 

 

When in the first place, I'm the one who's coward. 

 

 

"I can't be mad to people I love the most. Just be happy then were good~ You can still visit me if you have time.. I won't leave that apartment as I promise." I bitterly smile as I holding my tears. 

 

 

"You can keep alex, so you won't be lonely~" I nodded. alex was our puppy that I brought for her.

 

 

After knowing yuri is in a relationship, that's when I realized. I'm not contented just being her best friend.

 

 

and It was too late. 

 

 

"I promise to visit you~ Thankyou for taking care of me~" yuri hugged me for the last time before she walked away, walking towards where hyewon is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yuri just broke her promises twice." I said as I drink my beer.

 

 

It's been 2 years and I'm still here where yuri and I used to live together. Yuri and hyewon leave the country after our graduation, after that I never heard anything from her.

 

 

The feelings that have been buried.. they grow.. I even write a song for her, a song that contains what I really feel about her. 

 

 

I'm still tied up in this house. 

 

 

waiting for yuri to open the door.

 

 

I didn't even change the passcode. 

 

 

It still the day we first met, It was her birthday. 

 

 

 

I even tried dating other girls... but..

 

 

I don't feel anything..

 

 

 

or maybe I keep on finding yuri in them..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a fine sunny day afternoon, I was on my way home from work. I was really in the good mood since the game I make, made it to the top. I parked my car, I unbuckled my seatbelt then I get out of my car. 

 

 

I enter the building and go straight to where my apartment is. I press the passcode, I enter and alex was wiggling her tail as she barks.

 

 

"Are you hungry alex?" I said, I look at alex food. It's still full why is she barking.

 

 

"Why are you barking continuously? Eat there if you are hungry~" But alex run towards the living room, and looks like she's barking at someone.

 

 

"Yujin must be here." I said as I remove my shoes. 

 

 

I walked towards the living room and saw the person I missed the most. 

 

 

"You still using that passcode." just hearing her voice makes me want to cry. 

 

 

"Yuri..." 

 

 

"Yenaaa yah~~" She stood up and hugged me. 

 

 

That's when I lost it, I cried as I hugged her. I missed her so much. I heard her chuckles. 

 

 

"Why are you crying?" yuri chuckles, I just keep on sobbing while hugging her. 

 

 

"I thought you already forgot me.." I sobbed.

 

 

 

"I'm really sorry yena unnie.. I broke my promise.." 

 

 

"It's okay, What really important now is that you are here." I said as I calm down, she broke the hugged and smile to me. She wipe my tears. 

 

 

"Wanna go somewhere?" she said, I nodded. 

 

 

I held her hand, like we always do before. We both enter my car, As I enter the car I held her hand again. 

 

 

"I won't go anywhere you can hold it after you drive." she chuckles. 

 

 

"Nope. Will hold it while I can." I smile as I held her hand, I look at her. She just smile and even held my hand back. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We ended up at the seaside, were at the back of my car. Looking up at the sky with full of star, moon that shine so bright. And the spring breeze brushing through our skin. 

 

 

"Wah, I really miss korea.." yuri utter.

 

 

"You've been away.. I haven't heard from you.." I said.

 

 

"I'm sorry, It was so sudden. Hyewon asked me to be with her at the state" I nodded.

 

 

"Nah, You don't need to say sorry. She's your girlfriend after all." 

 

 

 

 

"What made you go back here?" I asked her, not even ready for her answer but I want to know.

 

 

 

"And I'm here because..." 

 

 

I look at her then she genuinely smile as she raise her left hand. And that's when I notice something sparkling around her ring finger. 

 

 

"I'm getting married yena unnie~" I just got my heart broken again.

 

 

"I really request it to get married here since all of you are here." I bitterly smile. 

 

 

"Congrats." 

 

 

"You finally found yours" yuri smiled as she nodded.

 

 

"Yeah, and I'm glad It's hyewon~ She's been there for me~" I silently sighed.

 

 

'I'm always been by your side for 7 years..' I said to myself.

 

 

"And I'm here to thank you too for being there for me for the past 7 years. Thank you for being my shoulder to cry on, Thank you for consoling me, Thank you for making me smile with your corny jokes that makes my mood light up." 

 

 

"I Thank you for standing up for me, Thank you for being my knight shining armor." 

 

 

"And of course, Thank you for being the best best best best friend." yuri smile, I smile too. 

 

 

"But you know what?" I look at her, then she look at me too.

 

 

"I will be honest, Before I met hyewon.."

 

 

"I loved you first." Yuri said, That's when I felt a big time regret.

 

 

"I fell in love with you, You are not that hard to love.. You've always been there for me. You know everything about me even the small details" yuri chuckles.

 

 

"I don't want to ruin what we have. I can't lose our friendship."

 

 

"I can't lose you." yuri sincerely said. 

 

 

"So I just decided to keep it. And be contented of what we have." 

 

 

 

After hearing it, I feel so angry.. 

 

 

Angry at myself.

 

 

Angry at the world.

 

 

But everything is done. 

 

 

My anger won't change anything..

 

 

I look at her and I bitterly smile.

 

 

"Too bad we were caught up with a scenario that we were scared of losing each other.. than risking it all." She looked at me with a shocked face, I saw it in my peripheral vision.

 

 

"No way..." she utter.

 

 

"Yes. I love you too.. But I'm also scared of losing our friendship, losing you. So I didn't risk confessing." I sadly chuckles. 

 

 

"I rather be your best friend than losing you." 

 

 

 

"Yena....." 

 

 

"Why the world would be this cruel.." I said as look at the sky preventing my tears to fall down. 

 

 

"We were too scared.. If one of us decided to make a move.."

 

 

"Maybe a lifetime was waiting for us." I look at her and she's already crying. 

 

 

 

I wipe her tears as I smile holding my tears.

 

 

"Don't look at me like that.." 

 

 

"You don't need to apologize.." I sniff.

 

 

"I'm happy.." 

 

 

"Knowing that you loved me.." She held my hand that was holding her cheeks as tears keep falling down our cheeks.

 

 

 

"I won't hold onto you anymore.. so don't hold onto me too." 

 

 

"I love you, and I always will.." I kissed her forehead. 

 

 

 

"Stop crying now~ You look ugly." I joked, yuri pull me to a hugged. 

 

 

 

"I love you too yena unnie~~ I'm sorry~" I just smile through this pain. 

 

 

After that night we still talked to each other like nothing happen. 

 

 

I even attended her wedding, She's still my best friend after all. Even if it hurts seeing her being married to someone else.

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe if I can turn back time..

 

Maybe I'm the one who's waiting for you at the end of the aisle.

 

 

Maybe if I have the courage and risk everything.

 

Maybe I'm the one who cause you to smile like that.

 

 

I regret everything.

 

 

I regret that I didn't tell you what I really feel.

 

 

I regret being a coward.

 

 

 

But never mind.

 

 

You were never mine.

 

------------------------------------------------------------------

 

A/N: This is another episode of YULYEN ANGST 😭 

 

First of all thank you to BananaGrapess  for giving me a plot. second sorry for giving you angst. 

 

Yulyen is rarely breathing and just giving us crumbs so why not angst. But I will give you fluff next time uwu hahah 

 

So If you like someone, risk it all. Maybe the two of you feel the same way, It's better to risk it all than to regret later. 

 

Be like hyewon. jk 😂😂 

 

PLEASE DO STREAM SECRET STORY OF THE SWAN's MV!! AND VOTE FOR THEM SO OUR GIRLS WIN 🥺🥺 YOU SAW HER HAPPY FACE WHEN THEY WIN RIGHT? DON'T YOU WANT THAT TO SEE AGAIN ?? 

 

IZONE DID THEIR BEST FOR US WIZONE THIS COMEBACK, SO WHY NOT GIVE IT BACK TO OUR GIRLS SO THEIR HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF~