Disclaimer: Info might not accurate, but I based it on google and some other part in Psychometric so if I got it wrong please blame google.




 

Sadness

 

Fear

 

Anger

 

Joy 

 

Surprise 




 

This are the list of emotions. 




 

That I wish I can feel.. 




 

That I can distinguish..













 

I am Choi Yena, eighteen years old and I have this called Alexithymia. I am included in 10% who has it, and no It wasn't a mental disorder. I inherit it from my father.

 

People said I am a freak for not knowing what is what.. Since I don't feel emotion. I intend to just shrugged it off. 

 

People said that I am like a robot who do not have emotions since I am having a hard time to distinguish it, people don't wanna be friend with me.. 

 

They tend to think I might kill them since I have no emotion. 

 

I do smile without knowing what that really feel. 




 

But there's this one girl... 




 

She's the very first person to approach me.





 

That helps me to distinguish emotions.. 







 

that girl name.. 










 

"Jo Yuri!" she said. 

 

"That's my name Jo Yuri. How about you?" I just stared at her blankly since it's first time that someone talk to me first. 

 

"Yena, Choi Yena." I said. 

 

"Nice to meet you yena~" she said in her sweet voice, I just nodded. 

 

"Is that how you talk to a person?" 

 

"Why? is there something wrong of how I talk?" yuri just shakes her head. 

 

"You don't even smile to me." yuri said. 

 

"Hey transferee don't talk to that freak, she doesn't have emotion." my classmate minhee said. 

 

"huh? Can a person don't have emotion??" yuri said as she look at me. 

 

"What he say is true.. You're a transferee that's why you don't know about me." I said as I play with my phone. 

 

"Daebaaak! Isn't that amazing?" I look at her, she's the first one to say that having no emotion is amazing. 




 

"You can't feel emotion. So even people talk bad to you, you don't get upset." yuri said like she was rapping, I just nodded since it was true. 

 

Suddenly she slap my hand, I just look at her with my poker face. 

 

"Is it hurt?" I just shrugged my shoulder. 

 

"DAEEEBAAAK!!!" she squeal again. 

 

"Can you smile?" I nodded then I smile. 

 

"I do smile, but it's awkward right?" yuri nodded. 




 

"What do you call that?" 




 

"Alexithymia" I said. 




 

"It can be cure right?" I shrugged my shoulder. 




 

"I don't know. There's no treatment." 




 

"So basically you can't identify feelings or emotion?" I nodded.




 

"As in You don't know the feeling of pain?" I shake my head. 

 

"Joy?" 

 

"Jealous?"

 

"Love?" I look at her as she mention that, That word that I want to feel. 

 

"No. I don't know how it feel.." yuri nodded.

 

"Do you want to know what it feels??" I look at her, then nodded like a good puppy.

 

"Is it okay to you to teach me to identify feelings and emotion?" yuri willingly nodded. 

 

"Yes~ I really think it can be cured." yuri widely smile. 

 

Without my knowledge.




 

Yuri already triggered my emotion. 




 

That's the time I smile without awkwardness. 






















 

"Yena?" I heard a knock on my door. 

 

"Come in" I said as I open my door. 

 

Yuri decided to just teach me at my house, She even brought a dictionary. We're currently at the living room. 

 

"So this is HURT" yuri said as she continuously slapping my hand. 

 

"See that redness." I nodded.

 

"That's a sign of pain, but pain is pain even without than redness.. " yuri said. 

 

"Then this is Happiness." yuri said as she encircle the word happiness in the dictionary. 

 

"Happiness is that feeling that comes over you when you know life is good and you can't help but smile." 

 

"I know you still confuse but I know you can feel it." Yuri smile, I nodded as I pay attention to her. 

 

Yuri explain every emotions to me, even though I'm having hard time to know it.. I know someday I will feel it. I want to feel what Happiness is.. 










 

Yuri has been by my side, she continue to teach and let me feel emotion.. 

 

but for the past 6 month this is the first time.. 




 

I feel emotion.. 

























 

It was a rainy night, I already laying at my bed ready to sleep but my phone suddenly ringin, it was yuri. 

 

"Yeobeoseyo?" 
"Hello" It wasn't yuri.

"Why do you have yuri's phone?"

"Your friend had an accident, 
she got hit and run..
We're currently at the seoul hospital" 

 

That's it... 

 

That's the time I feel an emotion.. 

 

Fear.. 

 

Fear of losing her..




 

I can't believe that I can feel that emotion.. I immediately call for taxi I don't care if I get wet because of this rain. I just want to see yuri okay.. 
































 

The one who hit yuri got arrested thanks to the cctv that captured the scene. She already got transfer to a room and I am currently at her side, waiting for her to wake up. After a few minutes her eyes open then I smile. yes I smile.. 




 

"Yena..." 

 

"Don't talk and move too much" I said.

 

"I'm sorry for bothering you here.." I immediately shake my head. 

 

"No no!! I'm glad the girl who found you call me.." 

 

"Can I have some water?" I stood up then grab some water. 




 

"Are you sure you okay now?" yuri nodded. 

 

"Do you know you look worried right now?" I look at her. 

 

"Because I am.." yuri make a surprise face. 

 

"OMO!!! You know the feeling of worried!!" yuri squeal.

 

"Yah!" I shouted. 

 

"Now you know how to be upset!!" yuri squeal again. 




 

"Hoooow? OMGGG" yuri said as she look at me.




 

"You." I also look at her.

 

"Me? what about me?" she asked me confusely

 

"You triggered my emotion.." 




 

"Last night.. After I heard what happen to you.. I felt.." 




 

"Fear."

 

"Fear that I might lose you.." 




 

I look at her and smile. 




 

"Thankyou.." 




 

"For what?" yuri said. 




 

"For helping me identify emotion.. For making me feel emotion." I held her hands. 




 

"No problem ducky~" yuri said as she eat the grapes yena bought. 































 

As the time goes by I finally learn to feel and distinguish emotion.. 







 

There's this day when I felt really angry. 







 

"Hey there yuri~" my classmate minhee said. 




 

"Get out of the way" yuri said as were about to wlak but minhee blocked yuri's way. 




 

"C'mon yuri, Let's go to the party later. It's fun, more fun than being with this emotionless girl." minhee smile. I just remain silent waiting for yuri's reply. 

 

"Sorry, I can't" yuri start walking but minhee held her wrist. but my body immediately act up. 




 

"Get your hands away from yuri." I said with my stern voice, I don't know what's I feel but I just let my body. 

 

I twisted her hand that are on yuri's wrist and pushed him away. Minhee yelp as she felt pain at his wrist, Yuri was just amaze about what she saw. 

 

I held yuri's hand then we got out of the sight. 




 

"You know you just get angry earlier.." yuri said. 

 

"Am I? Is that what it feels to get angry." yuri nodded. 




 

"Youuu are really improvinggg duckyyy~" yuri pinch yena's cheeks. 












































































 

It was Yuri and I graduation. It was the best feeling. Yes. I feel so happy right now. because I can finally feel it. 




 

Love 




 

Yes it was Love.




 

It all started when were at her house, Yuri to be exact. She accidentally fell on me, I don't know but I just started to felt so nervous looking directly at her eyes. 

 

I know it cliche but that's what I feel when I caught her. 

 

After that day I keep thinking of her.. I am not like this the time she was teaching me about emotions.. not even when I already felt emotion.. 




 

Just because of that action make me feel unfamiliar feeling.. Even I close my eyes, I still keep thinking of her, her smile, her eyes especially her laugh. 




 

I keep getting nervous whenever she's near beside me, my heart felt tickled. 




 

The time she hug me, I felt my heart and her heart embrace each other... 

 

And that's the time I know.. 




 

How Love feels like..




 

Everything feels like a fantasy, that everything happen so unexpectedly. I can't even believe that I finally can distinguish, identify emotions and feeling.. 




 

And all of this is just because of one girl.







 

"Jo Yuri" I look at her then held her hands. 




 

"I can finally feel what love is." yuri smile widely. 




 

"And It all because of you." 




 

"I love you Jo Yuri" I utter what my heart wants to say. 




 

"Finally!!! YOU TOOK SO LONG!!" yuri squeal as she jump to hug me, I return her hug even more tighter. 







 

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A/N: MIDNIGHT UPDATE FOR Y'ALL HAHAH I'M IN A GOOD MOOD TO UPDATE :D