Chapter 9 – It’s Not Easy Letting Go

It's not easy letting go
Not when hearts are saying no
Can't we talk it out
Cause it's not easy letting go

Daryl Ong – It’s Not Easy Letting Go

Sakura held tight to Juri’s shoulder as they drove back in a taxi to their dorms. She had called Yena to pick her up where Eunbi left her, and her roommate came minutes later with Juri.

Sakura hasn’t said anything, just sobbing as she buried her face on Juri’s shoulders. Her friend was rubbing her back, trying to calm her down. She was sobbing so hard, her shoulders were heaving up and down. Juri was worried if Sakura had trouble breathing.

Yena sat next to them, sighing every few minutes.

She figured what happened between Sakura and Eunbi, and she had concluded that it was Sakura’s fault all along. Juri scowled at Yena, warning her not to say hurtful things to Sakura, not when she’s breaking down like this.

Juri stayed in their room that night, watching over Sakura. She still remembered the last time Sakura was heartbroken by Irene, she cried so much and refused to eat anything. She almost injured herself with a knife, and that was stopped by Juri who happened to be there.

Sakura fell asleep on her bed, crying herself to sleep. She wished it was all a dream.

But the hurt inside her heart felt way to real for it to be a dream.

**

Juri asked Sakura to take a day off the next day, but Sakura insisted to go to work. Her eyes were swollen from too much crying and her body was weak from the emotional impact. But she made her way to the office anyway.

Irene was off to an overseas business trip for a few days, so at least level 3 didn’t felt as suffocating as usual.

There was only 2 weeks left till their internship ends, so Sakura still diligently finishing her work. At least something to take things off her mind. At lunch Juri came to pick her at her office and they went to have lunch together with Chaewon and Hyewon. Juri tried her best to make sure Sakura wasn’t left alone.

They sat together at the office’s cafeteria. Sakura said she didn’t have an appetite, but Juri still took a tray of lunch for her. She sipped the soup and rice, but didn’t touch any of the main dishes. She just sits quietly without saying anything.

Hyewon glanced at Sakura, and judging from her expression, she kind of figured what had happened to her. She felt quite guilty, but the damage had been done.

“We only have 2 weeks left. I wonder who will they pick as official employee here?” Chaewon suddenly said.

Juri nodded, “I heard they’ll only pick one of us. And that there will be another interview on the last day.”

Chaewon grinned, “My bet is on Sakura, since she’s dating Ms. Kwon.”

Hyewon and Juri stared at Chaewon, speechless.

Sakura suddenly stopped eating. She stared at her bowl of rice blankly.

Juri laughed nervously, “Wow, is it me, or is the Sundubu Jjggae is especially nice today?”

Hyewon nodded, “Yes! Haha it’s really good!”

Chaewon shrugged, “It tastes just as bland as usual, what’s wrong with you guys?”

Sakura suddenly stood up, “I’m done eating. I’ll leave first.”

**

Hyewon followed Sakura and found her in front of the elevator.

“Saku-chan, there you are,” she said.

Sakura didn’t even glance at her. Hyewon stood in front of her and held her right arm.

“Hey listen, I’m sorry. I had to tell her, she asked me about it.”

Sakura shook her head, “It’s not even your fault. It was my fault.”

Hyewon sighed, “What happened? Did you two fight?”

Sakura looked down, “She… broke up with me.”

Hyewon gulped, “H-Hey Sakura, I didn’t mean for it to be this way-

Suddenly the elevator door opened. Revealing the three team leaders. Hyewon gasped as she saw Eunbi in the elevator, she looked just as worse as Sakura. Sakura turned and saw Eunbi, and their gazes met. Eunbi was standing at the farthest back, behind Ms. Park and Mr. Lee. She looked at Sakura, her expression filled with sadness and pain. Sakura froze, as overwhelming emotions washed over her, and her eyes slowly brimmed with tears.

“Aren’t you two getting in?” asked Mr. Lee.

Hyewon nudged Sakura, who was still frozen staring at Eunbi. The elevator door was closing, but the two of them were still locking gaze. Sakura saw tears rolled down Eunbi’s eyes just before it completely closed shut.

Sakura bit her lip.

This is all my fault.

**

It was another weekend and the Kwon family gathered for their family dinner. It was another awkward dinner for them, especially for the two sisters. Madam Kwon asked Irene about the conference and they praised her for getting the award and also the raising the image of their company. Eunbi just quietly eats her dinner, hoping that it will end soon. She’s invisible to her family anyway.

Madam Kwon suddenly brought up the blind date again, and Irene was feeling tensed up.

“I have a few people that you should meet. Who knows you might like one of them,” Madam Kwon said.

Irene sighed, “Mom, maybe you should ask Eunbi go to these things sometimes.”

Eunbi glanced at her sister, giving her a sharp stare. Irene ignored her and continue to munch on her spoonful of rice.

Madam Kwon reply, “Eunbi is the weird one, she doesn’t like men. How am I supposed to set up blind dates for her?”

Noticing the tensed up atmosphere, Mr. Kwon cleared his throat, “Let the girls do whatever they want, stop forcing them on blind dates.”

But Madam Kwon chuckled as if it was all a joke to her. Her mother has always been belittling her ual preference and made joke out of it. It was as if she’s an embarrassment to the family for being who she is.

Eunbi scoffed, “Wow, I’m the weird one huh? While Irene is soooo into men, doesn’t she? But I wonder why she was so thirsty to sleep around with someone else’s girlfriend.”

Irene almost choked on her food, she paused and took a sip of water.

“Hey-

“What are you talking about?” asked Madam Kwon.

Eunbi stood up, “Ask her.”

She left the table, leaving them to question Irene.

**

Eunbi walked fast towards her car, her heart was burning with anger. She can’t even look at Irene’s face, and let alone eat with her. It took all of her strength to came to the dinner tonight only to be treated like a piece of unwanted garbage again.

“Kwon Eunbi, wait!” a voice called.

Irene followed her to the parking lot of their house. She grabbed Eunbi’s arm to stop her from leaving, but the younger sister pulled her arm away. She turned around so that they were facing each other.

They looked at each other, not saying anything.

Irene scoffed, “Are you trying to start a fight with me? Why did you say that?”

Eunbi stared at her in disbelief. She’s still trying to play victim, even after what she did. There was no remorse or guilt behind her eyes, it’s driving her patience to the edge.

“How dare you…” she muttered.

Suddenly Eunbi pushed Irene’s shoulders, causing her to fell back on the car behind her.

“YOU SEDUCED MY GIRLFRIEND!” she shouted.

Irene gulped.

“YOU KISSED HER AND TRIED TO HAVE WITH HER! HOW DARE YOU!” she continued.

Her eyes were filled with anger, and her face had turned red.

“You have everything!!” Eunbi added, her hands trembling.

“And you even took away the only thing that is mine…” she said, with tears now b in her eyes.

Irene froze. She had never seen her younger sister like this before. She was always the calm one.

Eunbi wiped her tears with the back of her hand and looked at Irene, “I broke up with her, are you happy now?”

Irene was speechless.

“You won. Congratulations,” Eunbi said, before she entered her car and drove away.

**

Yena and Juri tried hard to cheer up Sakura. They took her out for dinner at a barbeque place, treating her to samgyupsal and drinks. Sakura knew her friends were trying, and she really appreciate their efforts. She tried to act fine, she’s laughing along with them, but in reality her mind was elsewhere.

She tried to get in touch with Eunbi, but it seems like she had blocked her number. At work she can’t even look at her in the eyes after what happened at the elevator. Eunbi seemed like she was in so much pain and it shows. Sakura weigh in on herself, and felt so small before her.

She’s the reason Eunbi shed tears. She’s the reason for her agony. She broke her heart. She should stay away from Eunbi, she thought. She doesn’t want to cause her any more pain.

But, she missed her so much.

She loves her so much to the point that it broke her inside.

Sakura grabbed the filled soju glass on the table and shoved it down . The alcohol burns in , but it wasn’t enough. She took the bottle and chug it down directly from it.

“Hey, unnie, are you okay?” Yena asked, concerned.

Sakura put the bottle down and smiled.

“I’m okay, don’t worry.”

Juri looked at her, worried.

“We should go back now. I’ll go and settle the bill.”

Juri went to the counter to pay, and soon she called Yena because she didn’t have enough money. Sakura sat at the table, waiting for them to return. She grabbe