Chapter 6 – Talking To

Was pride really that important?
Did you not know what was truly important?
I said I know
If you knew, why did you do that?
Because humans tend to repeat their mistakes.

Day6 – Talking To

Sakura can’t help it; tears are running down her cheeks. She hardly cries, but when she does, it’s hard for her to stop. She and Eunbi had fought sometimes, but nothing like this before.

She was sitting on a bench at the 6th floor, at a small longue that rarely used by the staff. People rarely goes there because all it offers was a water dispenser and a broken down heater. It was perfect for Sakura who wanted some space.

She questioned herself, was it all her fault again this time?

When you’ve been betrayed so hard once, after you’ve given your all, it’s hard to trust anyone again. And with someone as attractive as Eunbi, who is a split of the heartbreaker, Irene, it’s even harder.

It’s not like she didn’t love her.

She just couldn’t say the words.

Sakura has no idea how else she should show how much she cares about Eunbi. She gets jealous everytime other people gushes over her girlfriend, and when Eunbi was being nice to other girls in front of her, she has to restrained herself from shouting at them.

She knows that Eunbi is not Irene. In fact, they are the polar opposites. But the scar in her heart still hasn’t healed yet. She feared of the history repeating herself.

The pain still feels so fresh, like it was only yesterday. She constantly gets nightmares from her last encounter with Irene at her house.

She still remembers every words she threw at her.

Not until she met Eunbi.

Since Eunbi came into her life, the nightmares had stopped. Sakura can finally sleep without dreaming about the day she was dumped in the most humiliating way. Though she had never expressed it, she treasures Eunbi more than the latter know.

Tears were still running down her cheeks, and her shirt sleeves are wet from her wiping her eyes.

“Are you okay?” a voice asked.

Sakura froze. She recognizes this voice well. It’s the person she wants to meet the least, Irene.

Irene handed her a white handkerchief, “Here.”

Sakura just stared at the piece of cloth blankly.

“You’re too pretty to be crying like this,” she added.

It’s the same line. So nostalgic.

Sakura scoffed and took the handkerchief roughly. She wiped her eyes with it and now the white cloth is smeared with her make up.

“You really do have a knack for finding crying girls in secluded places,” Sakura said in Japanese.

“Only when the girl is you,” Irene replied short.

Sakura looked at her and their gazes met. And again they just looked at each other without saying anything. Sakura could felt her heart suddenly paced faster.

“We’ll be having a meeting in a few hours, so hurry up and prepare the materials,” Irene said casually.

She left Sakura after that, with her handkerchief still in the younger girls’ hand. She didn’t even ask why she was crying and simply leaves her like that.

That idiot still makes her heart flutters.

Sakura hates herself even more.

**

Sakura lay on her bed and stares at the ceiling. It’s been a day and Eunbi still ignores her. Whenever they pass by each other at the office, she would act like she wasn’t even there. Not even a glance.

Sakura misses her girlfriend.

She missed her so much and every moment passed feels so empty without her texts, without her touch, without her presence. Slowly her eyes were misty and soon tears rolled down her cheeks.

Maybe this is all her fault, she thinks.

She was too controlling, and she gets jealous too easily. And Eunbi probably feels suffocated and didn’t like it.

Sakura bit her lip and wiped her cheeks with her long sleeve of her pajama.

She can’t even say I love you.

And she can’t even be honest about Irene to her.

“Just give her a call, is that so hard to do?” Yena’s voice suddenly breaks her train of thoughts.

Yena was standing by her bed, staring at her, and was wearing a backpack.

“Rather than you crying alone like this, just call her and tell her how you feel,” she continued.

“She didn’t even call me; why should I call her then?” asked Sakura.

“Maybe she didn’t even want to talk to me anymore. Maybe she’s happier with someone else,” she added.

Yena sighed, “This is your problem, unnie.”

“What?”

“You both don’t communicate! You guys keep on having these doubts but never actually talked to each other about it. How are you going to understand each other if you don’t talk?”

“Well, she didn’t talk to me-

Yena grunted, “Seriously, I think Eunbi unnie talked to me more about her relationship problems than solving it with you. Same goes to you.”

She continued, “Do something about it! Why must it always her who has to make the move? You guys make out so much but never actually talk, what a joke.”

“Hey, watch your mouth!”

“In my opinion, you are the problem here.”

“Yena!”

“You can’t even tell her that you love her, plus you’re keeping secrets about that Irene from her, by the way, she’s your ex, isn’t it?”

Sakura sat up straight on her bed, angry, “Th-That has nothing to do with this!”

“It has everything to do with it!” Yena shouted.

“You can’t tell her about your past, and yet you still sneak around with your ex behind her back, and you think it’s not a problem?”

“I didn’t sneak around with my ex!”

“I saw it with my own eyes, unnie. The way she looks at you, that Irene clearly still has feelings for you. And you should do something about that too.”

“It’s not your problem, Yena.”

Yena sighed, “You’re so stubborn.”

She bit her lip, and then continued, “You know what, you don’t even deserve Eunbi unnie.”

Sakura gasped.

“She’s the nicest, kindest person I’ve ever met, and her only mistake was to fall in love with you. Don’t regret it when you really lose her one day.”

“Just get out of here, Yena!”

“I’m leaving anyway. I’m sleeping at Juri unnie’s room tonight!”

“Go then!”

Yena walked to the door and held the knob in one hand, she looked at her roommate one more time before leaving.

“Miyawaki Sakura, you !”

**

It was Sunday and Sakura hangs out at Yellow Café. Usually she would be spending time with Eunbi on the weekend, whether they went out on dates or play PS4 at her place. But, her girlfriend hasn’t been contacting her since their fight at the rooftop. And she was too proud to call first. It’s already been 2 days since they last spoke.

Suddenly Juri walked into the café and waved at her. She joined her at the table. Yena was busy tending customers at the counter.

“Sakura, you’re here?” she asked, shocked.

“Hmm.”

“You’re not out dating with your… baby today?”

Sakura sulked and looked away.

“Oh my, are you two fighting?”

Yena soon came with a cup of coffee for her girlfriend.

“Kkura unnie is an idiot who can’t even say I love you. Such a loser,” she said.

Sakura glared at her, “Wh-What the hell you’re saying?”

Yena scoffed, “Eunbi unnie love you so much, you idiot. And you still thinks she will cheat on you? Why would you believe those stupid rumors?”

Sakura bit her lip and stare at her roommate. Realizing the tensed up atmosphere between them, Juri stepped up.

“Hey, Yena. Calm down. Sakura already went through a lot, you have no right to judge her like this.”

“Oh come one, get over it. She’s the one who still hangs around with her ex. Imagine if Eunbi unnie finds out about what happened the other day.”

“Ugh Yena, stop it! Nothing happened!”

“Wh-What happened the other day?”

Yena shrugged, “Ask her.”

She went back to the counter to tend new customers.

Juri turned to Sakura, “Saku-chan, what happened? Is it Irene-san?”

Sakura shook her head, she wasn’t in the mood to talk about either Eunbi or Irene.

“You can’t go back to Irene-san! You must not forget what she did to you.”

“Not now, Juri. I really don’t want to talk about it.”

They sat in silence. Sakura continued to sulks and glanced at her phone every now and then. Usually Eunbi will be one who gives in first and gives her a call. But, she hasn’t contacted her in two days. Two painful days.

Suddenly the door was opened and two girls walked in. One of them was Kim Chaewon. She saw Sakura and Juri and waved at them excitedly.

“Hi guys! What a surprise meeting you here!” she greeted cheerfully. She was really clueless.

Sakura rolled her eyes and looked elsewhere as if Chaewon wasn