I was staring, unseeing, into the pot in front of me where I was stirring fried rice for breakfast while the entire album for the Hamilton Musical is blasting in the background. I was completely immersed in my thoughts that I didn't notice my bedroom door opening and closing as a disheveled looking Kwon Jiyong stepped out, rubbing the sleep out off his eyes. I was only alerted to his presence when Jiyong approached me from behind to peer over my shoulder to see what I was cooking. Heat creeped up my cheeks at his close proximity which reminded me of how we fell asleep holding hands, side by side. I coughed to mask my sudden awareness of his proximity and mumbled, “It’s nearly done Oppa. Why don’t you sit down while I finish up here.” He gave me a sleepy nod as he sauntered to the dining table to take a seat and nibble on one of the bacon strips I already cooked and set on the table. I hid a smile to myself as I watched Jiyong over my shoulder operate mechanically, most likely still not fully conscious and awake to what he was doing.

As I finished up cooking the fried rice, my CD player suddenly decided to play traitor and started playing Philippa Soo’s Helpless, a love song from the entire album of all things. I knew I shouldn’t have put it in shuffle. Couldn’t it have been any of the Cabinet Battles or The Story of Tonight?? But nope. It has to be a love song of how Eliza Schuyler fell head over heels for Hamilton’s brilliance. It’s not exactly the kind of atmosphere I want to set especially after last night. I mean, nothing happened. Nothing. It was purely platonic and completely innocent. We just held hands as we slept side by side. There was no accidental cuddling that I’d read from fan fiction happening or those scenes where we’d wake up face to face on my bed. But it still doesn’t make my blushing disappear nor change the fact that when I woke up (nearly falling from my bed), my heart hammered inside my chest once I saw Jiyong’s sprawled form on my bed. It should’ve really turned me off to see him snoring lightly, hair tousled in multiple directions, taking up most of the space on my bed but it doesn’t. The idiot that I am even found it adorable. URGH. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. This is not the time to become a simpering idiot. URGH.

“You have to hand it to Lin-Manuel Miranda, it’s not that easy to turn such a dry material into a- Norah?“ Jiyong stopped mid - sentence. At the look of concern and confusion he was directing my way, I immediately stopped making faces at myself before facing him properly with what I hope was a smile. “Yeah?”

“You okay?” He asked me and judging by the furrow of his brow, my attempt at appearing normal has gone out of the window. I wouldn't be shocked to know that it looked more of a grimace than a smile considering it felt that way to me. I waved off Jiyong’s concern immediately to prevent my manager from figuring out what the actual cause of my consternation was in the first place (i.e. him) and directed his attention to the food that I’m cooking instead. “It’s nothing. Are you hungry? It’s not much cause I’m feeling lazy right now to cook but like my mother says, you can never go wrong with some sliced bacon and scrambled eggs.”

Jiyong raised an eyebrow at me and said dubiously, “Is that REALLY what Mrs. Spencer says? I highly doubt it.” I glared at him and resumed cooking the fried rice I was mixing together with some buttered corn, peas and carrots. “You met my mother once. Once.” I pointed my wooden spoon at him with my index finger raised to prove a point. “During a Skype call which you interrupted might I add. A call that also led to me being forced to answer some pretty difficult questions that I’m still blaming you for.” Jiyong grinned widely at this, obviously still unapologetic to the incident with my mother he caused. Arse. “I’m pretty sure, I’d know her and what she’d say better than you do. I WAS raised by her.”

“Yeah, but see…. I don’t lie that often and you kinda do, so it’s kind of hard to trust your word on things like this.” He retorted to me with an impish grin before taking another bacon from the pile on the plate. “If Ely were to be the one to mention that…..” He left his sentence hanging, clearly enjoying teasing me and of course the idiot that I am, still took the bait. “You just like Ely cause you do boy together. How would you know if Ely’s not more of a pathological liar than I am, huh? You do know that my habit of lying was something that I could have only gotten from the people around me. People like… you know, Ely?? And stop eating the bacon! There won’t be any left for later.” Jiyong was grinning from ear to ear at my aggravated tone but mercifully stopped snacking on the bacon in front of him. His teasing though was far from over by the looks of it but before he could even open his mouth, I turned off my stove and called him over for his help. “Grab that bowl over the counter will you and help me with the fried rice.”

“For how many people did you cook for exactly?” Jiyong asked me incredulously as he scraped out the fried rice from the pot I was holding, onto the bowl in his hands. “Isn’t this too much for just the two of us?”

“Seungri Oppa might drop by for breakfast. It’s better to have more than nothing to offer.” I retorted to him with a huff. “Oppa, is it done yet? My arms are killing me.” He gave me a nod and headed back to the table to set the bowl of fried rice in the middle, while I placed the pot on my sink with the rest of my dirty dishes and kitchen ware. “You really should stop spoiling Maknae with food.” Jiyong said reproachfully as we sat side by side on my dining table with him scooping up fried rice onto our plates while I grabbed slices of bacon and spoonfuls of scrambled eggs to do just as he did. “And what? Spoil you instead?” I retorted with a mouthful of food which only made him shake his head in reproach. I smiled at Jiyong in thanks when he automatically rose from his seat to grab a glass of water for the both of us upon noticing that I was having some difficulty in swallowing. I drank the glass of water he offered me in one go and swallowed thickly before continuing. “Anyway, I don’t mind cooking for Seungri Oppa since he returns the favour when he’s not busy. How’d you think I get to eat out so often if not for Oppa?”

“Yah!” Jiyong exclaimed in mild irritation. “I treat your arse all the time. Don’t think that I forgot all those Vatos meals I bought for you last time.”

“I cooked breakfast for you didn’t I?” I retorted with a flick of my fork in his direction. He dodged his arm from the stray scrambled eggs that flew from my fork in his direction and mock glared at me. Jiyong picked up a slice of bacon, ready to aim for my head but the aghast look on my face must have given him second thoughts on wasting such precious bacon and instead popped it into his mouth. With the petty food fight ending before it started, we both resumed eating our breakfast in a silent truce. On my second helping of breakfast, I noticed Jiyong seeming to be in the middle of an internal debate with himself over his eggs and bacon. I was observing him from the corner of my eye, eating as if I didn’t notice him having an internal monologue with himself, when he finally made up his mind and casually (not really) asked, “So Norah, what did Hyun Suk Hyung tell you yesterday?” As he asked this, both my eyebrows rose to my hairline at his act of feigning ignorance and indifference. The image of the two envelopes lodged between my towels and hidden inside one of my bathroom cabinets made me snort and roll my eyes to myself. Like Jiyong doesn’t know what the Boss told me yesterday. “Hmm? Oh. It’s nothing. Just some update on my progress and he just asked if I wanted to take a vacation trip back home since the holidays are coming up.”

“Really? Really?? That’s all Hyung told you yesterday?” Jiyong asked me suspiciously, his eyes staring at my face closely. “That’s the whole, ‘I want to speak to Norah alone in my office.’ all about? He didn’t disclose anything important to you?” I stared him squarely in the eye before replying, “Yep.”, intentionally popping the letter p at the end obnoxiously before shoving another spoonful of eggs, bacon and fried rice inside my mouth. Jiyong narrowed his eyes at me and dropped his utensils beside his plate before crossing his arms over the table to brace himself against it as he leaned his face closer to me. “I’m not sure if someone ever mentioned this to you before.” He whispered to me, his eyes raking over my face, much to my chagrin. “But your nostrils flare when you lie.” My eyes widened slightly at his revelation and my hand automatically covered my nostrils in alarm, completely falling for his bluff I later realised once I saw the triumphant smirk gracing my manager’s features. “It doesn’t do that.” I told him as matter of fact as possible once he straightened up from his seat, satisfied at catching my lie. “It does.” Jiyong easily retorted as he resumed eating his meal, ignoring the dirty look I was directing his way. “I figured it out ages ago. How’d you think I was able to suss out that you were sneak reading all this time? Or whenever you did something bad.” I narrowed my eyes at him and pursed my lips tightly, all the while I’m cursing myself inside my head in all the languages I know. How did he even manage to notice that?!?! I had no idea my nose flares whenever I lie. I am so going to start practicing controlling my face whenever I lie in front of the mirror as soon as Jiyong leaves after breakfast.

You complete idiot.

Gaga.

Pabo.

Face de pet.

“So, come on. Fess up. What did Hyung tell you yesterday?” Jiyong asked me as he took a bite of his bacon, followed by a forkful of eggs. “As if you didn’t know.” I intoned to him with a frown which he returned as he turned in his seat to face me. With one arm leaning against the dining table and the other against the back of his chair, Jiyong turned his entire body in my direction with an exasperated expression on his face. “Norah, I seriously have no idea what you both talked about yesterday. Believe me, I tried asking everyone what the hell’s happening exactly but it’s either they’re completely in the dark like I am or it’s THAT confidential that they’re not allowed to disclose it to just anyone which is really annoying to be honest because I’m your manager and I have a right to know any issues regarding my trainees.” Not only did Jiyong sound annoyed during his tirade but he looked it too. However, a lot of people was able to fool me once about this entire ordeal so I’m still unsure about believing Jiyong on being clueless about this situation. “Norah….” Jiyong called out my name in a warning tone when I remained still and silent despite his earlier rant. I chewed on my lower lip and stared resolutely at the unfinished meal in front of me before murmuring, “You really don’t know? You weren’t in on it too like the rest?” He heaved a heavy sigh and said, “No. I don’t. Will you please tell me what it is already?” I bit my lip harder as I felt my heart constrict remembering the conversation I had with Boss and inhaled sharply as I excused myself from the table under my breath. I stood up from my seat quickly before Jiyong could react and stop me. All he could do was exclaim, “Norah!” in surprise but I assured him that I’ll be back to which Jiyong only nodded mutely as he watched me make my way to the bathroom. I closed the bathroom door behind me and expelled the breath that I had no idea I was holding. It’s funny how one moment we were teasing each other about whatever and then next I find myself near to tears at the memory of the remorse I felt after my talk with Boss. I shook myself from this feeling that’s coming over me again and inhaled deeply once more. I’m done being maudlin. Didn’t I tell myself just that when I woke up this morning? I pulled myself together and made my way towards the cabinets where I store my toiletries and towels. Once I opened the cabinet. my eyes immediately landed on the two envelopes lodged in between my terry cloth towels. I carefully slipped it out of its hiding place and exited my bathroom just in time to see Jiyong nearly done with clearing my dining table. Our eyes locked once he noticed that I was back from the bathroom and he nodded to my couch, motioning me to take a seat as he finished cleaning up in my kitchen. I hugged the envelopes tighter to my chest but did as he asked and waited for my manager to follow behind.

In less than a few minutes, Jiyong sauntered inside my living room and sat next to me on the couch. He glanced sideways at me and caught sight of the envelopes I was tightly clutching to my chest. Thankfully, instead of pressing me to elaborate immediately, he merely made himself comfortable and waited until I was ready to show him whatever was inside of these two envelopes. As if I knew as well. Ever since Boss turned over these two envelopes to my possession yesterday, I still haven’t opened them and instead opted to shove it in between my towels inside my bathroom cabinet to keep it away from sight while I mull over things and be as maudlin as I’d like. After a beat or two, I finally placed the two envelopes side by side on my coffee table and waited for Jiyong’s reaction once he sees fully where the envelopes came from. As I expected, as soon as Jiyong caught sight of the envelopes’ senders, he immediately straightened from his seat, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and… hurt? Why does it feel like my manager is somewhat hurt? Shouldn’t I be the one - “Are you applying for Saint Martins and Parsons?” He asked as he slowly turned his head to face me, his eyes speaking volumes of his surprise and slight hurt, cutting off my thoughts abruptly.

I scoffed at his reaction and crossed my arms above my chest. “I’m not but it turns out, some people already did. As if you weren’t in on it too like the others. I’m still pissed at you guys for keeping this from me.” I told him pointedly with a cross of my legs. At this, Jiyong’s jaw locked, a clear indication of his frustration which was further emphasised when he said, “I keep telling you. I’m not in on anything. In fact, I’m the last person to learn about this…. this thing.” He jabbed a finger at one of the envelopes before running a hand through his hair. “So this was what you and Hyung talked about yesterday?”

I nodded at his inquiry and watched while Jiyong flipped over one of the envelopes in his hands, staring at it blankly. As I observed my manager, my earlier suspicion of his involvement in this entire situation disappeared. It was obvious from his reaction that he had no idea about this (the reason why, only Boss can tell) like me and besides what’s the point of holding it against him if he does. It’s not like holding a grudge will help me with my problems. I unintentionally let out a pained groan once I remembered the ing impossible situation Boss placed me in yesterday which shook Jiyong from his thoughts. “Sorry.” I muttered sheepishly but my apology apparently was both unnecessary and not heard since as expected, Jiyong began asking me about the implications of these two envelopes. “What do you mean about some people applying for you? Is that even possible?”

We simultaneously leant back against the couch as I began explaining to him what exactly happened and what Boss told me during our brief meeting. “Apparently it’s possible. To be honest, after Boss’ explanation, a lot of things made more sense to me.”

“Like what?” Jiyong asked me with a furrow of his brow. So I explained to him how and why this started in the first place. I told Jiyong what Boss told me yesterday, about him wanting to explore his options in terms of my training and not limiting my training to what they merely offer. I recounted to him Boss’ epiphany on my untapped potential for designing in fashion after Seungho approached him to suggest that I work part time for Ji Eun Unnie and how he was proud to see that I managed to do both my training and part time work, well and efficiently. Thinking about it now as well as telling Jiyong everything Boss and I talked about, I realise that what Boss did was just to ensure that I’m given opportunities that could be a better option for me instead of training to become an idol. But it still doesn’t take away the hurt that I’m feeling that they did this without informing me or even consulting with me with what I want. “I get that Hyung wants to keep your options open but what about your parents? And why overseas? There are plenty of universities here that offer that track in their curriculum. Why apply you to Parsons and Central Saint Martins?” Jiyong fired question after question as soon as I finished recounting how Boss started looking into schools which could give me proper training on fashion.

“How’d you think they were able to get a hold of my documents for my application?” I told my manager wryly. “Remember that time when my Dad visited YG to supposedly check out my training?” At this Jiyong nodded hesitantly, probably recalling his encounter with my dad. “Well, it turns out that it wasn’t a random visit and that it was Boss who really invited him over to YG to discuss about keeping this option open for me in the future. Surprisingly, according to Boss, my dad didn’t need that much convincing about the idea of me studying fashion. Huh.”

“Yeah, okay I get that. Even if you’re not a minor, your parents still somewhat support you financially for your training and they’d know of all people what’s best for you.” Jiyong mumbled to himself, absently. “And you don’t give yourself enough credit. It’s not Boss who convinced your dad but you.” I looked up from my intertwined hands to meet Jiyong’s eyes in surprise at his statement. He gave me a rueful smile at my reaction. “Norah, you told me yourself that training to become an idol was something that no one thought you’d be doing, but here you are. In fact, you’re even thriving at what you’re doing even if it’s in a pace slower than the others. I think that your dad finally saw what Boss and the rest of us see.” He nudged my elbow with his before continuing with what he was saying. “When you put your mind to it, you get the job done. Add to that your natural talent for creating clothes, then I don’t see how becoming a fashion designer is impossible for you.”

“Thanks.” I muttered bashfully to him with a nudge of his elbow with my own. Jiyong merely shrugged and waved off my gratitude in response. “Anyway, about that overseas thing… Boss said something along the lines about how he didn’t offer training to his people in a half assed manner. So if I were to study fashion it would be in the top fashion institutions in the world. I also kinda have a feeling that his school choices were influenced by two very biased people from YG, with Xin being a graduate of CSM and Ji Eun Unnie having friends and connections who graduated from Parsons in Paris.”

“So that was what that bastard was hinting at.” Jiyong muttered to himself with a frown marring his face. “What?” I asked him when I didn’t catch what he was muttering under his breath but Jiyong just shook his head and said, “It’s nothing. So how did they pull it off? I mean processing your application and keeping it a secret from you until your results came out?”

“From what I understand, my documents and my application forms were accomplished by my parents. Making me build my portfolio, write my personal essay and even getting my signature were all done by Xin and Ji Eun Unnie together under the guise that it was all for my part time work. While my recommendation letters were accomplished by Boss as well as Ji Eun Unnie.” I ticked off in my fingers how they managed to accomplish my application and a pointed look was enough for Jiyong to understand that it’s not a surprise at how I was kept in the dark all this time, me being the gullible person that I am. After my explanation, Jiyong and I were enveloped in an unusually tense silence. I chanced a sideways glance at my manager who had his arms braced against his knees as he focused his gaze on the two envelopes in front of us. I wish I knew what was going through Jiyong’s mind right now. If I’m being honest, I’m half scared about what he’s going to say about all of this.

Finally, Jiyong broke the silence as he asked me hesitantly, “Does this mean you’re no longer a trainee at YG?” Jiyong started from his seat when I suddenly grabbed a pillow beside me to bury my face and muffle the half groan and half scream I let out at his question. “That’s just it oppa.” I growled at him in my frustration. “Boss told me that if I pass, I have to choose between the option of staying at YG and the option to pursue a fashion degree at whichever school I choose to go. He says that we can't make any compromises anymore and this is the time for me to identify which field I want to focus on more.”

“Hold up. IF I pass?” Jiyong suddenly asked me in alarm. “I thought your results came out already.” We both glanced at the two untouched and obviously unopened, pristine envelopes from CSM and Parsons. “You still haven’t opened them?!” He looked at me incredulously before grabbing both envelopes and dropping it my lap with an expectant look. I stared at the envelopes and in a fit of panic suddenly told my manager, “No.”

“No?” Jiyong repeated with an eyebrow raised. “No.” I told him more firmly. “I won’t open it. I made up my mind. I’m not leaving. I’ll stay at YG and continue training. I’ll message Boss and Ji Eun Unnie that I’ll stop working part time starting on Monday. I’m not throwing away months and months of hard work for something silly like a childhood dream.” Jiyong was watching me carefully as I made this panicked announcement and saw through it just as I suspected. Still, it was worth a shot, yeah? “Norah, you pursuing studies in fashion is far from silly. You have the CEO of one of the most famous entertainment agencies in Korea as a backer and possible sponsor, how is that silly? Open those envelopes so you could mull over this offer properly.” Jiyong told me reproachfully but I knew that as soon as I opened those envelopes and see what’s written in that letter, I would crumble.

I really, really don’t want to leave YG. I’m happy here, why should I leave and start from square one? Just when I was finally having some semblance of a direction in my life, this is thrown in my way. Nope, I won’t waste the time and effort I put in all of my training just to pursue a long forgotten dream. Boss said that I’m making progress already, so did my trainers. Why disrupt that just to start again from scratch? “Oppa, I get you, I truly do. But right now, all I want to do is burn these letters and forget that this happened at all. I just want to sleep, wake up and resume my training tomorrow. So if you don’t mind….” I stood up from my seat, fully intent on burning the two envelopes into ashes but Jiyong’s hand grasped my elbow and stopped me from taking another step away from the couch. “Norah, I can’t let you do that. I am one hundred percent sure that as soon as I let you do just that, you will regret not knowing for the rest of your life if you got into two of your dream schools or not.” We both stared at the envelopes in my hand, all the while Jiyong was leading me back to my seat next to him. “Don’t delay this any longer than you have. As much as I hate to say this, you have to open them already.”

“Fine.” I told him after expelling a resigned sigh. “You open them.” I shoved the two envelopes back in his hands but he easily dropped them back in my lap as he parroted back what Boss told me last night. “These letters are addressed to you. You should be the first one to open them and see what’s in it.”

“I SERIOUSLY don’t mind. Please? Open them, for me?” I pleaded to my manager with my lower lip jutting out in a pout which he eyed warily. “I know what you’re doing Spencer. It won’t work on me like it does with Top Hyung or Youngbae - ah. I’m not opening those letters.” He told me with a shake of his head. By this time, I was near to the brink of pulling my hair out in frustration. He won’t let me burn them, he wants me to open them but he won’t open it himself because of some ridiculous principle that I have to be the first one to see. Aisht. Now, who’s the idiot? “Norah.” Jiyong called my attention, looking pointedly at the letters I was holding. I clutched the envelopes in my grasp tighter and threw my manager a dirty look just to clearly show him my displeasure at what he’s asking me to do. I am seriously not in the mood to do this right now. I was content with these two ing envelopes buried under all my towels inside my bathroom till god knows when but Jiyong just had to push it and make me read them.

Hmmmm, maybe I should change tactics?

“Oh my god! I forgot!” I exclaimed loudly with a slap to my forehead for added measure. “I was supposed to help Chaerin with her surprise date with Youngbae Oppa this evening.” I let out a fake gasp and stared wide eyed at Jiyong, pretending to have a slip of tongue in front of him about my best friend and his best friend’s secret relationship. CL, I’ll feel guilty for throwing you under the bus as soon as I could escape this apartment and Jiyong, but for now I’ll use your secret excessively until I get out of here. “. I - I didn’t say anything. But I really have to go Oppa, I’m really sorry but can we do this -”

“Nope. Their date’s cancelled. Chaerin - ah has a schedule this evening and Youngbae - ah’s with his older brother tonight. They’ll celebrate their monthsary next week which I helped plan by the way.” I stared at Jiyong owlishly as he cut me off mid - excuse, effectively catching ME off guard instead. “What?”

“You’re talking about their date for their monthsary right? Or…. were you talking about their holiday in Africa?” Jiyong asked me, a smirk gracing his features as he revelled at my dumbstruck look. I started stammering incomplete questions, unable to form a decent sentence due to my surprise. “Since when?… What? Youngbae Oppa know?…. Date next week? What.”

(Un)fortunately for me, Jiyong’s already experienced with understanding my stammers and easily answered my questions. “I knew for months now. I told Youngbae - ah around….. two months ago? And I helped make the reservations for their dinner and pick Youngbae - ah’s gift for Chaerin - ah.”

I slowly sat down once more as I wrapped my head around this sudden revelation. Damn. Who would've thought that Jiyong would suss out  their secret this quickly? Jiyong shook me from my thoughts though when he suddenly said, “Since you’re no longer helping Chaerin - ah, will you please open those letters now?” I snapped out of my daze and tried to hurriedly come up with another excuse or information that’ll throw off Jiyong enough to forget about my bloody acceptance/ rejection letters from CSM and Parsons. “Sorry, I forgot. It wasn’t CL I was supposed to help this evening. Silly me. It was…. Sophie! That’s right. It was Sophie. She wants me to go shopping with her for a gift she’ll give to her…. niece?” I cringed at the questioning tone of my voice, hoping that Jiyong won’t pick up on the slight change in my voice but since this IS G ing Dragon we’re talking about he obviously heard it loud and clear.

“Are you sure it’s a niece?” He asked me with an eyebrow raised. “From what I recall Sophie’s an only child……” Despite Jiyong looking as straight faced as possible, I can see from the way his eyes crinkled at the sides that he’s enjoying dragging out this tormenting conversation. Arse. I bared my teeth slightly at him in annoyance and said through gritted teeth, “It’s a daughter of a childhood friend. It’s practically Sophie’s niece.”

“Ah.” Jiyong replied in mock understanding, making me grit my teeth more. “I’m sure Sophie won’t mind if I delay you a little bit longer. You can go as soon as you open those envelopes, I promise.” I glared at Jiyong with every fiber of my being and nodded my head mechanically. “Sure Oppa, no problem. It’s just that I hate to leave Sophie all on her own considering she’d be shopping for a birthday gift for the daughter of the guy who got away….”

“Got away?” Jiyong asked me, amusement lacing through his voice.

“Yeah, you know. The one that got away. He was her first love and probably her last (not true). She loved her childhood friend since they were kids (still not true) but it didn’t work out when they got together during college (this is true, but Sophie did say that the guy was the one who asked her out and she was bored, so). I’m sure she’s having an emotional and physically draining day today (I highly doubt about the emotional part). She needs me right now.” I explained to Jiyong in a somber tone, shaking my head every now and then as if to say, “Poor Sophie.” Thank god Sophie is not here to witness this or else I would be dangled on top of Namsan Tower with only a bamboo stick preventing my death. “It’s a tough situation. She was crazy about him…” Of course being the pathological liar that I am, I was not content with leaving it at just that but went on to give Jiyong a background story of Sophie’s supposed heart break over this guy that to be honest she doesn’t even give two s about. Kudos though to Jiyong, because even if it was obvious that he doesn’t believe one iota of whatever I’m saying, he’s still trying to politely pretend that he’s eating up every lie that I’m telling him until I’m through making my excuses, so he could calmly point out once more that I can leave as long as I open those god damn envelopes. That is, until I noticed his eyes widen comically and his mouth slightly part in shock at the crap that I was saying.

And THAT’S when I suddenly hear myself say, “Especially in college when she had this massive crush on the guy. You know, kind of like my crush with you back in college.” as if someone else were repeating it to me. We were staring at each other, both in shock at the 12 words that I am pretty sure has just effectively distracted Jiyong from my acceptance/ rejection letter from Parsons and CSM in comparison to my pathetic lies. “Did… did you just say you have a crush on me?” Jiyong asked me slowly, unsure still if he heard me correctly. “HAD. Had a crush on you. I said back in college, so past tense.” I retorted quickly in my panic, not even thinking about the rubbish coming past my lips. “So you HAD a crush on me??” Jiyong questioned me, his eyes alert with something I can’t begin to describe. “You must’ve heard me wrong. I said SOPHIE had a crush on her childhood friend since they were kids, especially when they were in college.” I elaborated to him, trying to steer the conversation away from any words involving I, crush and most definitely, you. “No. You definitely said, ‘You know, kind of like my crush with you back in college.’ I heard you clearly. I mean you were talking bull but I heard you clearly.” Jiyong pointed out to me insistently, repeating those ing 12 words in verbatim. Jiyong and his abnormally perfect hearing. . “HA~” I told him while fake laughing. “I was joking! It was just a test to see if you were really listening. See? You were. Good for you. Now, about that shopping trip…”

“Norah.” I winced internally as Jiyong cut me off and made me halt from my attempt to stand up and move myself physically as far away from him as possible. I chewed my lip nervously all the while wishing that the ground will open up and swallow me whole so that I won’t have to face Jiyong as he questions me on my slip of tongue regarding my present past feelings for him. I really am a moron aren’t I?

“Norah,” Jiyong began again, oddly sounding determined. “If you open your letters from Central Saint Martins and Parsons, I’ll tell you a secret.”

What? A secret?

Who cares about a secret? I just spilled mine unknowingly and idiotically while lying about another person’s supposed secret. I’m sick of secrets right now. I just want to go as far away from you as possible until we both forget this ever happened.

“MY secret.” Jiyong added, when I still made no indication that I heard him.

I chanced a glanced at my manager and hurriedly directed my gaze back to the two envelopes I’m holding as I caught sight of his intense stare directed at me. Holy . He’s serious. What the do I do? . . . I scanned the rest of my apartment, trying to spot some form of escape where Jiyong won’t be able to reach me but wherever I look, I can’t find any areas where I could crawl and hide to die due to my embarrassment. I could lock myself in my room or the bathroom but horror movies taught me that, that will only effectively trap me with the person/monster/ghost/Jiyong pursuing me. He may be skinny but I’m positive that he’d easily break down my door if he wanted too. He could pay for the repair too. I glanced back down my lap to see the two envelopes in my grasp, slightly crumpled from being clutched tightly in my grasp. Maybe…. maybe if I open them and see the results, Jiyong won’t even remember my slip up and focus instead on what I should do in the event that I passed? I mean, maybe that’s why he wants me to open them. So we can just focus on my plan of action and move on from the frustratingly awkward situation we’re in. It’s not like I confessed that I still like him right now because I don’t. I don’t like him that way. Right now. He’s my best friend, neigbor, colleague and manager, all rolled into one. I don’t see him that way. I said kind of like my crush with you back in college. Past tense. It’s in the past. I don’t feel that way. It’s not like he’s rejecting me, so how can it get any worse, right? Right?

I took a deep breath through my nose and let go of the envelopes from my clutch as calmly as I could. I grabbed Parsons’ letter first with a trembling hand before smoothing it out and slowly opened the sealed envelope. With my heart pounding, I dropped Parsons’ letter beside me after scanning its contents and hurriedly opened CSM's letter with less finesse. I scanned the letter’s content, just as I did with Parsons, before I dropped CSM’s letter in my lap numbly.

I passed.

My application passed both schools.

They’re both inviting me for an interview to finalise my application but I passed.

Holy .

I passed.

I raised my head slowly and faced Jiyong who was observing my every move expectantly. “Oppa…” I mumbled numbly. “I passed.” Jiyong smiled at me proudly and happily but with a blink of an eye, his expression quickly morphed into one of pure determination. Before I could even utter another word, Jiyong cupped my face with both his hands and kissed me squarely on the lips.