CHAPTER 33

THE START

Taeyong wanted to be happy. He tried to. He wanted to hug the person in front of him and ask how his day was. If he was okay and how was his new life as a married man. Taeyong wanted to the moment the door opened, but nothing came out of his mouth. The words from Haechan suddenly filled his head, and he finally considered. He really did consider that’s why his face remained stoic.

“Hyung.”

The word usually brought warmness into Taeyong’s heart. A single word that made him proud because it caused him a lot for his brothers to call him that word legally. He lost his home, Education and a bright future because he chose to fight for two kids who were not even related to him by blood. The fact that they were just his step mother’s children from her first husband was completely forgotten the moment he laid his eyes on them. That day, he gained two younger brothers whom he loved so much and promised to give everything for their happiness.

Taeyong succeeded. The court battle really left him without anything. Even the amount he got from his father’s insurance was used just to prove to the court that he can take care of the two. He worked countless of jobs to support them and forgot his own needs and his own happiness in exchange for theirs. He didn’t ask for anything in return. He was contented to see the two getting what they needed and to have education and food on the table. Seeing his two brothers happy became his life mission. He gave them more than he can afford and he gave it all selflessly.

The pain he felt when someone he cherished decided to ignore everything he had done and not include him on the biggest day of his life was unimaginably painful. It was the utmost disrespect that someone can give to others. Taeyong felt completely worthless and cast off. His heart shattered into millions of pieces if that was even possible.

It was normal and acceptable to be mad and furious when someone hurt you, but Taeyong chose not to and tried his very best to understand why it happened. His love for his brother was bigger than their mistakes anyway. He thought he was able to handle everything well despite the pain directly and intentionally inflicted upon him.

For his brothers. 

There was a single error, though.

After how many years of sacrifices, Taeyong finally felt tired to one of them. 

“What are you doing here?” was the response he gave to Winwin instead of warm hugs and how are yous.

Not expecting the cold welcome, or if it was even considered a welcome, Winwin was flabbergasted. The sentences he practiced on their way flew out the window, and he was left with nothing to say. His hands that were longing to hug the person in front of him started shaking as he realized that the hug he was anticipating was not going to be given to him. 

The action was expected and yet he was still dismayed and his expression about it was hard to hide.

Winwin tried to remain calm and unbothered by the coldness he received, and also the fact that they were still standing at the door without the assurance of getting invited in.

“I’m here to see you.”

“I’m okay. You don’t need to bother about me. I’m okay.”

Of course, Winwin knew Taeyong was far from okay. Even his husband who was just standing behind him saw the obvious weight loss and paleness of the man in front of them.

“Can we talk?” 

That was it. Winwin finally laid down his card and it was all or nothing.

“What for?”

“Taeyong, I think you need to sit. It’s not good for you to stand that long,” a voice behind Taeyong was suddenly heard, and two arms appeared to assist him to the nearest chair. It was Doyoung, who just looked at him and gave him a small welcome smile. 

The door was left opened and Winwin took the chance to enter, Yuta followed. They followed the two guys walked slowly into the kitchen. That was only the time Winwin noticed that Taeyong can't even barely walk and he was catching his breath when he was seated. 

He wanted to ask what was wrong and what happened and for the second time, he lost the confidence to ask. The fear for his question to be left unanswered was huge, so he chose not to say anything. Fortunately, Doyoung answered the question lingering in his mind.

“He took the P2 drug so he’s like this. It’s been going for a whole week already,” was the simple answer.

Winwin saw the expression Taeyong gave to Doyoung when the latter told him his situation. Doyoung just shrugged his shoulder. His knew his brother wanted to retort, but he was too weak to even protest or stop Doyoung. 

Winwin’s heart clenched at the sight. There he was on his honeymoon while Taeyong was suffering. If he only knew, he wouldn’t have had agreed to come. But he then also realized that his brother already told him about signing the CMA even before they left. He wasn’t expecting that he was going to take the drug sooner than he thought and most of all Winwin wasn’t expecting the effects were that terrible.

A new level of hatred for Jaehyun was planted into Winwin’s heart. He hated the man with all his heart, and he believed that he was the reason why his brother was suffering and why he was in that situation in the first place. Winwin knew everything, and he promised to get back to the man that caused pain to his brother. He perfectly knew how.

“Where’s Jaehyun?” Yuta asked for the first time that day.
Doyoung answered, “He’s sleeping in the living room.”

Winwin frowned at the sentence. Why would he take a rest when Taeyong was in that situation? And again, knowing the younger for years already, the unasked question was answered by Doyoung.

“He’s resting. He has not slept since Taeyong took the drug.”

Yuta was contented with the answer, a bit amazed that the usually cold-hearted Jaehyun, who would never lay a hand on someone who was sick, not even his friends were losing sleep for his husband. 

Winwin was another case, though. He thought it was just necessary to stay by his husband’s side no matter what, especially in that situation. It was not like Taeyong was the only one who agreed to that and signed the CMA. 

The innocent action of Jaehyun turned into a malicious one in the eyes of Winwin. In his eyes, Jaehyun was the enemy, the villain, and solely responsible for what they were experiencing and why their life turned upside down. There was nothing that Jaehyun could do to get the approval of Winwin. No matter what, Jaehyun was always the bad guy.

***

“It’s really nice to see you smile. Really, at least I know I’m doing a great job,” Mark complimented Haechan. The latter seemed so happy that day even though his smile didn’t reach his eyes, Mark was fairly satisfied. At least he knew what to work on next.

“You really take the credit for it, huh?” Haechan jokingly mocked and Mark just shrugged his shoulder, as if saying that he just stated a fact.

“Give credit where the credit is due.”

Haechan just shook his head in reply. How was he going to tell Mark that his presence made everything alright? Would he tell him that he was more comfortable talking to him now that his hyung? Of course not, that would creep the other out, and that was the last thing Haechan wanted to happen.

“But really, what bothered you that you felt the need to come here at this hour?”

“Winwin,” Haechan answered, his smile fading a little and Mark regretted asking. Curiosity got him, though so he continued asking.

“Did he return?”

Haechan shook his head. “I don’t even have the slightest idea where he is right now. Maybe he’s on honeymoon somewhere or even in Japan to see his husband’s family.”

It was Mark’s turn to shake his head. “Trust me; Yuta hyung won’t take your hyung there, even if you force him to.”

Haechan wanted to ask why, but he held the question because he didn’t really want to talk about Yuta or even his brother. He just failed to avoid the subject because Mark asked for it. He stood and went to the railing of the rooftop. 

He remembered that those were the only thing that stopped him from landing headfirst to the ground below. They were the biggest barrier that stopped him from ending his own life. He didn’t know if he was thankful or not. To be honest, Haechan still thought of taking his own life. Sleeping alone at night at the huge, but practically empty apartment made him wallow in self-pity. The only thing that was keeping him alive was Mark. 

Who would’ve thought that your biggest enemy would turn out to be your biggest ally? The irony of things made his miserable life a little less hard to handle. Haechan knew that his thoughts were slowly drowning him in deep loneliness and he himself wasn’t sure how long Mark can keep him together. 

Soon, Mark would be back to his original life and their time together would be cut until spending a bit of time would be difficult. Haechan was dreading that time, and for a moment, he didn’t want to fulfill his promise of helping him walk again. A walking Mark would mean returning to his friends and to his old life where he was the nemesis, the villain. His heart started to beat fast once again, so he looked back at Mark and in an instant, he calmed down. That was the effect the other was unknowingly giving him.

“Winwin was highly favored by Taeyong hyung. He favored him even when Winwin hated him for making him lose his scholarship. They were estranged for quite sometimes and yet, hyung never stops trying to gain his affection back. Winwin can hurt him ten times, and hyung will forgive him eleven times,” tears were starting to form from his eyes. 

Haechan tried to hold them, not wanting to show his tears to Mark once again, but what more could he hide from him? Mark saw him at his weakest and showing a few tears won’t receive any judgment anymore. “I won’t be surprised if Winwin returns and Hyung will throw a feast and treat him like the prodigal son. That’s how special Winwin is for Hyung. He’s just too stupid to break his heart over and over again.”

“I bet he will do the same to you, but you’re a good brother so he doesn’t need to.”

“Maybe I’m just afraid that Taeyong hyung would leave us anytime if I cause troubles.”

“Why would he leave you?”

“Maybe because we’re not his real brothers, and he already gave us everything that he had until nothing’s left. Maybe someday, especially with what Winwin is doing or when he found out about this secret meetings, then that would reach his limits, and I’m afraid he will finally leave us and wouldn’t want anything to do with us anymore.”

There was panic in Haechan’s voice, and Mark gathered all his strength to reach the railing of the rooftop. When he finally reached it, he used the strength of his arms to pull his body up so he could able to reach Haechan who was standing and looking at the tall buildings that were surrounding them. The latter was stunned when he felt someone hugged him from behind. For a moment, he wasn’t able to move.

“He won’t leave because he invested so much to keep your family together. He gave up a lot of things so a simple misunderstanding won’t ruin your brotherhood. And you’ve caused too much trouble in the past already, adding another one won’t make Taeyong hyung disown you,” Mark started seriously and ended up with a joke. It was his way to lighten the mood, but he earned an elbow for it. He laughingly held the railings and held his elbowed side. His feet were still wobbly so he held the railings tight.

“Hey,” Haechan gritted his teeth in annoyance, all his sad emotions were completely forgotten. He took Mark’s arm and put it over his nape, his other hand automatically went to his waist and guided him back to the wheelchair. 

“Sometimes I wonder if you really are taking me seriously.”
Mark was still chuckling when he hit the wheelchair. 

“I am, of course. Come on, Chan, we’ve come a long way already. Don’t let a single nonsense thought ruined everything. What did I tell you about burdens?”

“Throw them away.”

“Exactly,” Mark nodded in agreement. “Your brothers have lives of their own and so are you. Think of yourself first and let your heart heal. If you let those thoughts invade your heart, then you won’t find the reason to forgive Winwin and accept that your life is not the same anymore. Don’t think about things that are not going to happen.”

“You think so?”

“I’m sure of it,” Mark replied with great conviction.

“Thank you.”

“I’m always here. I’m always here to listen and to hug you.”

Haechan once again frowned at the last statement.

“I thought you hate fags?” Haechan teased and Mark rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“That was before. Gees, Taeil Hyung is gay, and he has a partner who is also a gay. My nephew is so cute by the way. Jaehyun is gay and so are your brothers. I am surrounded by gays. It’s not like I don’t have a choice but to accept, it’s actually my own choice not only to tolerate but to accept.”

Successfully changing the topic, Haechan sat down in front of Mark and asked, “What made you change your mind? I’m sure I’m not the only reason.”

“I don’t know. Maybe I finally realized that there is nothing really wrong with them. I’ve realized that they’re also human, and being gay doesn’t make them any less. I’ve seen my father beat Taeil hyung black and blue just to make him a straight man, but it didn’t work. Jaehyun hyung is just the same. You made me realized that I’ve been a fool for believing that they chose to be one. If I only knew then it wouldn’t be like this. Maybe we could have been friends from the start or maybe I could’ve defended my brothers from my father,” Mark tried his best to explain while playing the hem of his sweatshirt, his eyes were everywhere except on Haechan. “I really don’t know how I had this sudden change of heart.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Accepting, no, beating you and hurting my brothers, yes. But I don’t want my past ruin a potentially bright future ahead of me. I’ve decided to move on and correct all the things that I did wrong.”

“What if you’re friends at schools call you out for it?”

“Then they’re not my real friends. You see Lucas? That guy has a crush on you friend Jungwoo. He’s just an idiot to admit it.”

Haechan smiled at the information he learned. “Too bad Jungwoo has a huge crush on Taeyong hyung.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. He cried when he learned that he got married already.”

“Should I tell Lucas about it?”

“Should we play cupids?”

“Sounds fun to me.”

***

Winwin quietly watched Doyoung fed Taeyong. His brother’s hands were shaking, so it was impossible to feed himself. The former felt so bad and saddened by the situation. He wanted to help and feed his brother himself, but he knew it would not be possible at the moment since his brother is treating him coldly.

He was just gone for a week, and Taeyong changed a lot, literally and figuratively. He then saw that a drop of the soup was smudged on his brother’s lips and Winwin stood to wipe it off, but he heard a voice behind him that made him stop his tracks.

“How are you, love?”

The four guys in the kitchen turned their heads to the newcomer, and they saw a newly awakened Jaehyun with a sleeping kid on his arms. Winwin guessed it was Kun and the way that Doyoung fuzzed over him confirmed his thoughts.

“Did he wake you up?” Doyoung asked Jaehyun as he tried to get his son from him, but Jaehyun signaled him that it was okay so he returned to feed Taeyong. 

“No, I think I was the one who woke him up and he asked for you so I took him here,” Jaehyun told Doyoung and his gazed shifted on Winwin and Yuta. There was a hint of warning for Yuta, though.

“Welcome back,” He said, but not even a hint of happiness was present in his voice.

It was an awkward moment that was only broken when Yuta noticed something.

“Dude, the child’s nose is bleeding.”

aejae22

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