CHAPTER 32

FRUSTRATIONS

Saturday.

Haechan was free and so decided to see Taeyong, and to somehow relieve Jaehyun from taking care of his husband. The youngest was welcomed by a haggard and tired looking Jaehyun at the door, and he couldn’t help but frown at Jaehyun’s look.

“You look like a crap,” he blurted out. Jaehyun chuckled.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“How’s my brother?” Haechan asked as he entered the house. 

Since Taeyong was unable to move that much and Jaehyun was so busy taking care of him, the once pristine house was now a mess. The living room can still pass as clean, but knowing Jaehyun and Taeyong, it won’t pass to their standards. 

Haechan followed Jaehyun at the kitchen while he tried his best to arrange the groceries that Haechan shopped for them to the cupboards and pantry. He was unsuccessful because his attention was occupied by Taeyong who was still sleeping in the room. The guy constantly looked at their room, praying that Taeyong won't wake up sooner to get the rest he needed. 

Haechan felt bad for Jaehyun. He looked like a total mess with unshaved face and disheveled hair. Where was the guy that everyone at NCT Corp. was afraid of? The youngest then took the groceries from Jaehyun and placed them on the table. He then pushed him out of the kitchen and told him to rest. He also assured him that he’s going to look after Taeyong. Jaehyun was hesitant at first, but the tiredness and lack of sleep were taking its toll on him. He instantly fell asleep the moment his head hit the sofa in the living room. Haechan shook his head and started to clean the messy kitchen while cooking for breakfast.

It didn’t take him long to clean the area, and the breakfast was going to be ready any moment. Haechan was still in the middle of getting plates and utensils from the drawers when he heard Taeyong coming. Like his husband, he was also a mess, and it was evident from his face and body that he lost a lot of weight because of the effects of the P2 drug. 

Haechan immediately helped Taeyong sat at the nearest chair and gave him a glass of water. The walk to the kitchen was a torture for him, and the glass of water was heaven.
Haechan wanted to hear his brother tell him that he was getting better but he wasn’t. He was getting worst in fact, every night, Jaehyun had to call him because Taeyong was screaming in pain. The two of them had to hold him tight just to stop him from hurting himself even more.

There was no pain reliever to help him. The tea that Ten and Doyoung made can only give a small amount of relief. Taeyong’s agonizing screams got Haechan so scared he thought his brother was going to pass any minute. He felt sorry for those who decided to take the P2 drug and had a new found respect for his brother, his friends and to those who had taken the pill. He doubted himself if he was able to take it if it was his turn. He was considered a compatible one and a P1 receiver. He was well aware of his responsibility, but he doubted if he was able to take the pain.

Taeyong shakily placed the empty glass on the glass table and gave his brother a small smile, like he was convincing him that he was okay. Haechan knew better.

“How was your night?” Haechan asked as he kept himself busy with the dirty dishes at the sink.

“It was good,” Taeyong simply answered.

“No pain?”

“Tiny bit, nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“That’s good to hear,” Haechan smiled. He then noticed that Taeyong was looking for something, or rather someone. Haechan understood and answered the unasked question. 

“Jaehyun hyung is sleeping in the living room.”

There was a sigh of relief when Taeyong heard that his husband finally fell asleep and got his much deserved rest. He wished that pain would spare him that day so he can talk to his brother that he had neglected a lot.

“How’s school?”

“Good.”

“I hope Mark’s not bothering you anymore."

The sentence made Haechan tensed, and he almost dropped the plate he was holding. He remembered that Taeyong didn’t have the slightest idea that he and Mark were already friends. His brother still hates Mark and Taeyong wasn’t the one who hold grudges, but he won’t forget someone that hurt his brothers that easily. Haechan knew that Mark was number one on his list, followed by Yuta, number three was the people who tried to separate them from each other back then.

“He’s still not coming to class. I-I heard he’s still recovering from the injuries he got from the accident.”

Taeyong nodded, satisfied with Haechan’s answer and the latter was more than relieved that his brother didn’t ask any further.

And the topic that Haechan dreaded finally came.

Winwin.

“I hope he’s alright,” Taeyong said to no one in particular. There was a new level of sadness in his voice adding to the physical pain he was already having.

Haechan didn’t need to hear a name to know who his brother was talking about. This time, he chose not to answer. Winwin decided for himself without consulting and thinking about their sake and their feelings, so why would Haechan care? 

Mark told him to stop thinking about those things that make him unhappy, things that made his heart heavy and Winwin was one of them, so he chose not to care anymore. If Winwin wanted them out of his life then so be it.

“He’s married already. He has someone to take care of him, so you don’t have to worry about him anymore. Just focus on making yourself better because no one’s going to help you but yourself.”

Taeyong was stunned with Haechan’s change of tone. The youngest wasn’t the one to talk back to him that way. Maybe he was still hurting by the fact that Winwin disregarded them and went on with his life like they were not siblings.

“I just want to know if he’s doing fine.”

Haechan let go of a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding. “He’s fine. He’s with his husband, newly married. For all, we know they could be on their honeymoon and having the time of his life. The last thing you can worry about is him not being fine. You keep on thinking about him while he’s doing the total opposite. It’s about time you stop thinking about others and start thinking about yourself.”

“Haechan.” Once again, Taeyong was stunned with the words and tone used by Haechan. Was he that sick that he didn’t notice that Haechan had changed in a short amount of time? 

He was about to answer back when the doorbell rang. Haechan took the chance to leave his brother in the kitchen and see who was their visitor that early.

A smiling Doyoung and a giggling Kun in his arms met him at the door.

“Channie hyung!” Kun greeted him happily and Haechan had to force a smile in order to not disappoint the kid.

“How’s Taeyong?” Doyoung then asked.

“He’s in the kitchen. Can you look after him for me? I just need to go somewhere.”

Doyoung nodded even if he was surprised by the sudden request. Haechan ran outside and left the two. Kun was a little sad that he couldn’t play with his Haechan hyung, but his Papa promised him that he’ll come back. They got inside and true to Haechan’s words, Taeyong was in the kitchen.

***

Out of frustration and the urge to release his anger, Haechan opted to use the stairs instead of the elevator to reach the rooftop. It was just a floor above them, but the run made him so tired that he had a hard time catching his breath the moment he reached the place. He was breathing heavily and his hands were on his knees, trying not to vomit.

He was alone. Mark wasn’t there because they usually meet during the afternoon and it was still early. 

The other’s absence made him a bit disappointed. He badly wanted to talk to him at that moment, but he understood. He had no hold of his time and Mark can do whatever he wanted.

The morning was chilly. Haechan didn’t bring his jacket, so he shivered a bit from the cold. Great. The air matched the coldness of his heart perfectly. 

Why did Taeyong have to bring Winwin up? Haechan was taking small steps in healing his heart, and when he was about to accomplished something, his hyung had to remind him of someone he wanted to forget. But he guessed it was inevitable. Sooner or later, he would have to face Winwin, and it was impossible to deny the fact that they were brothers. Eventually, they would have to see each other and Haechan promised himself to say what was on his mind and on his heart. Mark said it was a way to light up his burden.

Mark. 

“Where are you when I need you?” Haechan sighed in dismay. He needed someone to talk to, and the guy promised that we would always be there, but he was nowhere to be found. Even if Haechan knew that he was being unreasonable, he couldn’t help but feel down. 

The thought made him chuckle. Haechan was now so used to the presence of the guy he used to despise. Mark was not going to know about it, though.

“You know you look like a fool talking and laughing with yourself,” someone said from behind him. Haechan snapped back and greeted the newcomer a huge smile. So huge that the newcomer was almost blinded by it.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing that creepy smile of yours?”

“Well, I was thinking about the documentary I just watched about monkeys doing crazy stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Like what you are doing right now,” Haechan laughed wholeheartedly at the expression given to him.

“So I guess I should go now? I guess my presence is not needed here.”

“No, please stay, Mark.”

Mark rolled his wheelchair back to where Haechan was, stunned that he heard him said please and he was laughing like a maniac.

“Is there something wrong? Why are you here this early? It’s Saturday, sleep with your heart’s content.”

“I have to take care of Taeyong hyung so that Jaehyun can sleep.”

Mark nodded, but Haechan didn’t answer his first question so he repeated, “So what’s wrong?”

Instead of answering, Haechan sat on the ground and smiled at Mark. 

“I’m okay now, thank you.”

Mark looked at him questioningly, not really getting what he said, but if Haechan said he was okay then he’ll believe him.

***

“Here, it’s still hot so be careful.” Doyoung placed the cup of steaming hot tea in front of Taeyong. The latter thanked him and took a small sip, trying hard not to burn his tongue.

Kun asked if he could play in the living room and he was given permission by Taeyong with the condition that he won't be loud his uncle Jaehyun was sleeping in there. The kid nodded and so far so good. The two guys at the kitchen hadn’t heard anything that needed their immediate attention.

“Haechan seemed to be in a hurry when we came.”

Taeyong sighed at the question, he placed the cup back on the table. Doyoung was currently preparing the breakfast cooked by his brother for him, but he lost his appetite to take anything.

“He hates that I asked about Winwin. I have no intention to hurt him. I’m just worried about Winwin, what is wrong with that?” Taeyong answered, a bit frustrated that he didn’t manage to talk to his brother like he planned to.

Doyoung once again placed a steaming bowl of kimchi jjigae and an equally steaming bowl of rice in front of Taeyong. The latter was amazed by Haechan’s cooking skills. Since when did he learn how to cook? He suddenly found his lost 
appetite because the smell was truly amazing.

“What did he say?” Doyoung asked as he waited for Taeyong to swallow the food in his mouth.

“He said not to think about Winwin since he’s now married and that I should think about getting better.”

Doyoung nodded in agreement, “He’s right. He has his husband to take care of him now so you don’t have to worry. He’ll see you when he’s ready.”

“Wow, are you teaming up against me? I am just worried about Winwin, what’s wrong with that?” Taeyong replied n slight annoyance.

“Nothing, you’re worrying about nothing. Winwin is an adult, he can take care of himself perfectly. Try to understand where Haechan is coming from. You both care about Winwin, but he just walked passed you when he suddenly decided to get married. Maybe Haechan just cares about you and doesn’t want you to stress over something that is not worthy, especially in your situation right now.”

Taeyong didn’t respond. What Doyoung said made him think, but it wasn’t enough to convince him. He just changed the subject to lighten up the mood.

“How’s your stay in your new home?” Taeyong asked, and earned a contented and happy smile from his friend. It’s been a while since he last saw that kind of smile from the guy. He was glad Taeil was able to bring it back. Who would’ve thought that Taeil, his husband’s brother was Doyoung’s long lost love? The latter hid everything about Kun’s father’s whereabouts so Taeyong and Ten were clueless about his identity.

Taeil made his family move in with him immediately since they reunited, and Mark was more than glad to have new housemates. Kun was such a lovable kid that Mark instantly fell in love with him. 

Doyoung had to leave his old apartment, but he chose not to leave his job at the café. Taeil was against it, but he said it’s just until ten find his replacement. It was a good compromise between them. So now, Doyoung can go to school without leaving his son to the daycare.

“It’s great. Never been this happy since I had Kun,” Doyoung answered in full honesty.

“Have you told him about Kun’s condition?”

It was Doyoung’s turn to zip his mouth. He just shook his head to answer his friend’s question.

“Why?”

“He’s so happy spending his time and being a father to Kun so I don’t have the heart to break that happiness by telling him about Kun.”

“But you know you’ll have to say it eventually, right?”

Doyoung nodded and said, “I know, I’m just waiting for the right time.”

Taeyong smiled as he took another bite of his food. “You have three new potential donors, Doyoungie. I’m sure they are more than willing to have their bone marrow check for compatibility, and you don’t have to worry about a single won for it.”

Doyoung sighed at the thought. Life was hard before, but he learned how to play with it. The young father strived to support his son’s medication. Money wasn’t his first priority even before. He believed that money can be earned, Kun needed bone marrow and Doyoung will do anything just to extend his life. Taeil was going to be a great help, but at that point, a bone marrow donor was more important than anything else.

“I just hope they’re compatible.”

Taeyong saw the fear in Doyoung’s eyes. Taeil’s presence wasn’t enough to erase that fear for his son. Doyoung was looking for a hope that could save his son’s life. He couldn’t imagine how he was going to be if Kun’s condition worsens

“Don’t lose hope.”

The two of them became suspicious because Kun was extra quiet the whole time. They didn’t hear anything from the living room, and Doyoung immediately stood at the thought of Kun’s condition suddenly attacking him. Even the still frail Taeyong stood from his seat, and use the wall for support as the went to the living room.

The sight that welcomed them was so heartwarming that both of them couldn’t help but swoon. Kun was sleeping in Jaehyun’s arms. Maybe the kid suddenly got sleepy and decided to join his uncle to dreamland. The little kid was cutely hugging his uncle, and his face was buried in his chest. Jaehyun’s arms were wrapped at the small body, preventing him from falling from the sofa. Taeyong held himself from squealing at the cuteness.

Doyoung took a picture and immediately sent it to Taeil. He got an instant reply of, ‘Yah, why is that punk stealing my son? Tell him to make his own.’

Taeyong laughed at the response when his friend showed it to him. Taeil was jealous and it was cute. 

Their laughter was cut short when they heard the doorbell rang for the third time that day, thinking that it was Haechan, Taeyong volunteered to open it. It was also his way of stretching his legs. It took him time to get to the door because he refused help from his friend.

He was planning to welcome Haechan a smile to make it up to him. But it was not Haechan who was behind the door.

“Hyung.”

aejae22
 

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Hi. I tried to give you a double update tonight, believe me, I tried but it was so hard. >.< the next update is just 50% done. I’m sorry but the next update will be tomorrow (again).
Please let me know what you think about this one. I know the pace is so slow but it’s part of the story. 1-2 more chapters and them boom! drama.
Your comments and votes will be highly appreciated.
Thank you.