CHAPTER 29

TWO ENDS

“What are you thinking, babe? You seem to be in deep thoughts since we left,” Johnny asked the unusually quiet Ten as he drove his car, looking at his lover for a second then to the road.

Ten didn’t answer and looked out the window. The car stopped at red and Johnny took the opportunity to hold Ten’s hand. It was warm and nothing seemed wrong. The big guy wasn’t used to his lover being so quiet. Maybe he was still worried about Taeyong’s condition. Johnny silently swore not to leave Ten’s side like Jaehyun when they decided to sign the CMA. The thought sent a smile to his face as he stepped on the gas once again as the traffic light turned green.

Ten noticed it and it was his turn to asked questions.

“What’s funny?” His left brow raised.

“Nothing, babe,” Johnny’s smile grew wider. “I just can’t help but feel excited to sign the CMA.”
With that statement, Ten abruptly withdrew his hand that Johnny was holding. The action puzzled the other. Johnny couldn’t think of anything he said that might’ve pissed his lover.

“Are you okay? Is there something wrong with I said? You know I am not forcing you into anything. I just brought up the CMA because of Taeyong and Jaehyun. I told you I am willing to wait for you and we can get married first before signing it if that’s what you want.”

The mention of marriage turned Ten’s pissed face into an uneasy one. He also avoided Johnny’s eyes and looked away while trying to calm his heart that wanted to burst out of his chest.

“Babe, what’s wrong? Why don’t you tell me?”

“Johnny, please take me home,” Ten answered and Johnny nodded in agreement, but Ten wasn’t finished, yet. “My house.”

Johnny felt extremely alarmed. When was the last time Ten went home, in his own house? He couldn’t remember. Ten had been staying with him since they began dating and half of his closet consisted of his lover’s clothes. Even if they had a fight, Ten never mentioned going home, this was the first time and Johnny didn’t like it a bit. He still drove his lover to his house without a single word.

The moment Ten entered his password, he stepped inside and blocked his body to the door so Johnny won’t be able to enter. This surprised and hurt the latter a lot. There was really something wrong and the big guy swore he was not going to leave that house without him knowing it.

“What is wrong with you?” He started, still trying to act calm in spite of the fact that Ten’s action was slowly pissing him off.

“Go home,” Ten nonchalantly said and it made Johnny angrier, but still it wasn’t evident on his face.

“Not without you and not without knowing what’s wrong with you.”

“Nothing is wrong with me,” Ten answered and he turned his back to his lover and tried to close the door, but Johnny beat him to it. His arm stopped it from closing and no matter how hard he tried to close it, it was useless. Johnny was a lot stronger than him. The act made his lover snap and he used his full force to open the door so he could enter. He walked straight to the dark living room and waited for Ten to follow.
The room suddenly went bright and an equally pissed looking Ten came out.

“Really, Ten? Did you try to throw me out? I’ve been asking you what is wrong for countless of times already. At least give me an answer so I can stop worrying!” Johnny’s voice raised a step higher and Ten didn’t like it one bit.

“Why are you yelling at me?” he yelled back, both hands balled into a fist on his sides.

“I am not yelling at you. Maybe if you just say what is bothering you then we can prevent this from happening. Is this about the CMA? Are you that bothered about it that you are going all cold on me? Or you just don’t want to sign it at all? Or maybe you don’t want to marry me.” For the first time, Ten saw Johnny gets really mad and he had to step back.

“O-of course not. W-what are you saying?” Ten calmed down and tried to explain himself. It was always Johnny who always give way and admit defeat whenever they had an argument, but this time Johnny, despite his calm appearance, Ten knew he was fuming inside.

Johnny’s always been the one who believed in true love and forever. Something that his parent had, so marriage was a sensitive topic for him. He had always told Ten about his life plans and his excitement to start his own family and because he didn’t want to overwhelm Ten, he followed his lover's phase. He also took their relationship slow.

Ten had no complaint when it comes to their relationship. He felt taken care of and there was never a time where Johnny neglected him. The big guy always gave into his caprices and followed his orders. Johnny was always calm and giving. He was Ten’s teddy bear in an action figure’s body. He even let it pass when he refused to meet his parents and went back to his normal self.

Seeing him in the mood for the first time scared Ten a bit. He never saw that side of Johnny, yet and he didn’t know how to react.

It seemed like Johnny noticed the fear in his lover’s eyes so he forced himself to calm down by closing his eyes and taking very deep breaths. His anger didn’t go away, but he was calmer than before.

“It’s about the CMA, right?” It was really more of a statement than a question and Ten’s inability to answer right away prove Johnny’s suspicion. “You don’t want to sign it. Did I do something wrong? Don’t you want to have a child with me? Don’t you want to marry me? Why?”

“Johnny-”

“Ten, I want to know. What did I do wrong? Can’t you feel my love for you? Do you have someone else?” Johnny almost choked on the last question and Ten gave him an unbelieving stare.

“Of course not!”

“Then tell me what’s bothering you about CMA? Tell me if there is something wrong with me so I can improve.”

Ten didn’t answer, so Johnny waited. He just stood at Ten’s living room and waited for his lover to talk.

“I-I… The CMA, I-I signed it already and… and,”

Johnny couldn’t describe the pain of the truth that Ten already signed the CMA and it was not with him. He knew Ten had a lot of lovers before him but he never thought that he had an agreement with one of them and he could almost hear what he was going to say next.

“and… I already took the P2.”

Still, Johnny felt the pain. His brain was telling him that it wasn’t fair that Ten hid it from him. It just meant that his lover didn’t love him enough to trust him, but his heart said the opposite. Maybe Ten was just afraid that he might get mad if he learned about it. Johnny tried to be understanding, and he loved Ten too much so he chose to follow his heart.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He managed to say in spite of the pain.

“I-I’m afraid.”

Johnny was ready to hug and forget that that night happened, but one single detail made his heart skip dangerously.

“If you already took the P2, then why you didn’t pregnant after everything that we did?”

***

“D-Doyoung.” Taeil gasped like a fish out of the water as he saw the man in front of him. It’s been years, but his heart still reacted the same way he first saw him.

Jaehyun, unaware of the tensed atmosphere that was created because he was just too tired, introduced his brother to Taeyong’s best friend. “Hyung, he’s Taeyong’s best friend.”

“I know,” Taeil said, his eyes never left Doyoung who was equally shock.

“You know my Papa, Uncle?” Kun innocently looked up at him, still hugging his legs.

“Papa?” That was the moment when Taeil looked down at the child. “Doyoung is your Papa?”

“Uhm!” Kun bit his lips and nodded enthusiastically, also unaware that Doyoung was about to faint.

Taeil looked back at Doyoung whose face seemed lost it’s color and asked Kun. “How old are you, Kun?”

Kun raised his three fingers and answered, “Three!”

That number took Taeil back to three years ago.

NCT Corp. just started to make a name in the industry and Taeil was excited about its bright future back then. If it continued, he and his brothers can finally break free from their father’s shadow and he can finally start his own family. He can finally give Doyoung a nice house that he deserved and they can finally start having kids. They already signed the CMA, but they were still waiting for the right timing to get the P2 for Doyoung. Once their company started to get stable, he can finally marry the love of his life. He didn't know that his future was going to be dark.

They met when Doyoung was still in high school and he was in university. He was older by three years and yet he was captivated by the young student when they visited their university for a festival. Doyoung’s smile was contagious, and he had a lovely voice. It felt like Taeil was flown into a world where only the two of them existed. The young one sang his heart out and Taeil owned it. He imagined Doyoung singing for him. Taeil never left the festival without getting his number and from that day on, he bombarded the younger with messages, and he didn’t stop until he agreed to go on a date with him.

Taeil was always the quiet one. He seldom talks and he preferred being alone most of the time. Only his brothers and two of their friends were the ones he allowed to enter the wall he built around him. Doyoung was an exception, a beautiful and lovely exception.

They started dating and only Jaehyun knew about him, but he never actually met him. He knew his brother was dating and that was it. Jaehyun respected his brother’s wish to keep his lover’s identity a secret in order to protect him from their father.

Mr. Jung was feared by everyone, and that included his family because he was cruel and ruthless. He never gave exceptions to anyone, and if someone tried to stand in his way, things were going to be bad. He was also the biggest homophobe in the family. He despised his younger brother, Yunho for being gay and he forbade him from stepping inside his house and his life. That was why he almost beat his eldest son to death when he found out that he was gay like his uncle. Taeil was beaten black and blue that Jaehyun, although equally afraid, had to step in or one more hit, Taeil was going to lose his life.

Taeil underwent a major trauma that time and Doyoung was the only one who kept him sane. His father threw him out of their house and his things were burnt. He had nowhere to go since his uncle Yunho was abroad. Jaehyun was not allowed to help him. Doyoung was there for him during those times. It was his life’s golden moments because he got to live with the love of his life. It was tough, but being with Doyoung made everything bearable. That was until his father found out about their relationship.

It was pure chaos that the young couple had to hide and change their address often just to avoid being caught by Taeil’s father.

It was at that time that both of them decided to sign the CMA. They thought that having a child was going to change the Jung’s patriarch’s mind. They were wrong. Doyoung took the P2 because they felt that it was the right time already. Taeil’s father found them and forced his son to come back even before the younger found out that he was pregnant.

Yes, Kun was the fruit of their love and Taeil was nowhere to be found when he was pregnant. They lost contact with each other. Doyoung wasn’t aware that Taeil fell into a deep depression and by that time, Jaehyun and their friends already established their company. They left their father’s house when he tried to control the elder’s life. No one knew about Doyoung's identity, so no one looked for him while Taeil was suffering from depression.

It took Taeil two years to finally broke free from depression, but his heart never recovered. There was never a moment where he didn’t long to hear Doyoung’s voice once again. He was clueless that Doyoung conceived and they had a son. He tried to look for him, but Doyoung’s parent told him that he was no longer with them, that they rejected him when he asked for their help. They didn’t tell Taeil that their son was pregnant because they felt guilty that they turned their back on him during the time when he needed them the most. They also looked for him, but he was nowhere to be found.

Jaehyun had to stop him from looking because he was slowly spiraling back into his old depressed self.

So imagine his heart as he stood in front of the person he longed for a long time, the person whom he left his heart with.

***

“If you already took the P2, then why you didn’t pregnant after everything that we did?”

A guy can only take the P2 once in his life. Even if he decided to change partners, P2 was designed to remain active.

Ten’s words shattered Johnny.

“I was on birth control,” Ten said while looking down, not wanting to see his lover’s reaction.

Johnny’s jaw dropped. His knees weakened, so he had to sit down and covered his face with his shaking hands. It felt like a bucket full of ice cold water was poured over his head. The confession made him speechless and little by little, bits and bits of realization hit him. Suddenly, the questions on his mind that he didn’t dare to ask before were answered. It was amazing that a single sentence can crush his dreams in an instant.

“Why?” was all he had to say when he finally found his voice.

“I thought you would leave me if you find out.”

“Lies.”

“Johnny-”

“You thought that we won’t last. You thought that I was just like of the previous lover that will leave you alone because they change their mind, or someone that you will leave once you change your mind.”

“No,” Ten was already telling the truth, but Johnny’s emotions were all over the place to still hear him out.

“That’s why you refused to meet my parents, that’s why you, you are on birth control. It’s because you don’t see your future with me. You don’t want to be with me. You don’t love me.”

“Johnny-”

“Stop it!” Johnny abruptly stood and this time, he intentionally yelled at Ten and felt no remorse. Ten cried in regret, but it didn’t affect Johnny at all.

Johnny’s tears fell uncontrollably, and Ten wanted to wipe them all and hug the big guy. Johnny stopped him when he made his first step.

“I told you before that I don’t care about your past. I don’t care about everything you did. What matters to me is now. I gave my heart to you, Ten. I was planning to marry you and when I said I love you, I mean it,” he said in between sobs. “It’s okay if you already took the drug, it’s really okay. I can accept that I was not the first in your life but why did you have to manipulate our future? We could’ve had a child already. What did I do? Am I not deserving of your love?”

Ten kneeled in front of his crying lover, and he held his shaking hands as he said, “Johnny, I love you.”

Once again, it had no effect on Johnny anymore. He couldn’t trust anything that came out of Ten’s mouth that moment. They felt empty. So, instead of responding, he pulled his hands from Ten’s grasp and stood. He walked into the door, but before he left, he told Ten, “I think we should end this. What’s the point of being together if you don’t even see yourself in the future with me? Tell me that you love me when you mean it.”

With that, he went out and left Ten, his now former lover to his apartment, on bended knees and in shock that Johnny just ended their relationship.

aejae22

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Some secrets out. More to come.

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