November 26 2010
 

“We can’t go back?!” We were devastated. We’d been told we were going to go home today for a short break. The company had allowed for it.

“I’m sorry girls,” JiHyung was more than apologetic. “It couldn’t be helped.”

“What do you mean it couldn’t be helped?!” Gyuri’s face reddened in anger. “We’re worked from day to night and that’s all you can say?!”

“Unnie calm down,” Seungyeon tried to soothe her.

“NO I WON’T WE’RE BEING WORKED LIKE DOGS AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS THAT IT CAN’T BE HELPED?!” She practically yelled, having to stop just to pant. We were all frozen from the shock, the realization of things. The realization that our company really didn’t care about us at all, or enough to keep to their word, I don’t think our worth as human beings was even considered.

Gyuri steadied herself, brushing off the hands of Seungyeon on her shoulders to speak more gently. “Is it her?”

“Gyuri-yah…”

“Answer me oppa,” she lifted her stone cold gaze. “Is it because of her that we can’t leave yet?” JiHyung just stayed where he was. He swallowed uncomfortably. None of us knew what to do. I knew that for Nicole, Seungyeon and Jiyoungs families that sooner or later questions would be asked from their parents. I didn’t know about mine. I still had to call them since I arrived in Japan.

“She’s doing the best she can,” JiHyung said putting extra spaces in between each word. “You have to have faith in us, alright?” Gyuri spun on her heel and stormed out of the dorm slamming the door. He sighed, turning to us for help.

“I’ll get her,” I offered. I knew I may have been a bad choice for the task but consoling him wasn’t something I would be much use for either.

***

Night life was busy in the evening in Tokyo. I had to think of her favorite places to go and begin from scratch. I only had the equivalent of fifty thousand won in Japanese Yen (A/N this is about $50 in either US or AU)

“Think Hara think,” I murmured pulling my grey baseball cap down more over my face so recognizing me would be a bigger challenge. “There’s that coffee shop she likes…” That was when I heard it; someone saying my name simply and formally.

“Goo Hara,” I hadn’t expected him here. Not in Japan at this time anyway. Despite his black hoodie, dark jeans and white sneakers with bits of red and purple I could tell immediately who it was just from that deep voice. Not too high to be Yunho from DBSK and not low enough to be Choi Seunghyun or T.O.P.

“Yong Junhyung,” I said as he walked over to me. “You’re here in Japan too?”

“For now, only until our showcase is over.” He shrugged and I noticed he was fiddling with something in the pocket at the front of his hoodie. A headphone fell out and I didn’t need to see the rest. “I’m guessing you’re currently doing promotions here?”

“Yes and no we have a few promotions for our album and endorsements but that’s it.”

“I see,” he nodded. “But what about now; is it normal for you to be outside alone?” He knew how to not drag things out. I guess it was because for one I was by myself and two I didn’t look as if I was going to a schedule or anything. Why was I focused on the fact that it sounded like he could be concerned about me?

Hara snap out of it!

“I’m looking for Gyuri,” I said. “She and our manager had a falling out and she left in a hurry. I’m trying to find her before she gets into trouble.”

“Right,” this made me wonder how much he actually knew about the situation of the company. “Do you want some help?” Junhyung seemed curious about things. I had never thought he would offer his assistance.

“Are you sure? ... I mean.” I closed my mouth, trying to not act foolish. “You might be busy right now …”

“Do I look busy?!” His face fell and he soon shook his head. “Sorry, not sure why I did that.”

“It’s ok,” I think I could relate. “I understand. It’s hard isn’t it? Being busy so much and only having enough time to breathe. I know what it’s like, believe me.”

“Do I have to believe you?” He asked with confusion. “We’re living the dream and the nightmare. I don’t know exactly what else you do; all I know is that we’re both always on stage, always in front of some cameraman that we may never see again. We’re always moving, always singing, always dancing, and always after demand. Am I right or is this the wrong Goo Hara?” I remained speechless. He’d summed up everything we were in less than five minutes. That’s what we were. We were items on display, toys to be used until people tired of us. A grim reality that didn’t kick in until our contracts would expire.

“Yes,” I managed to agree after a while. “That’s right,” to show him I believed him I gave him a smile. It seemed to startle him or I read his expression wrong.

“Let’s find her,” he turned to cross over to the opposite street. I followed behind, amazed at how tall he was. “No stop,” on the middle of the road? “I need you to walk beside me.” To show me that he wasn’t all talk he grabbed my hand and pulled me next to him. The moment I arrived there we started moving again. I had to be careful; if he saw my face then he would know that I was uncomfortable. I blamed the cold for making me flush. Not that made any sense.

***

Eventually I needed to take charge and point him towards a café where I knew Gyuri was fond of the cakes and desserts they prepared.

“Is she in there?” He wanted me to take a look in the window. I peered through the glass into the setting. Simple antique furniture seated with couples, friends all talking and laughing around steaming white cups with pale pink or blue floral trim. A soft acoustic song in Japanese played in the background.

“It doesn’t look like it,” I sighed starting to wonder if I’d been careless with my decision. “So I guess it’s the other place.”

“Which is where?”

“A park,” he blinked. I guessed this wasn’t what he expected to hear.

“Yeah, it isn’t too far away so we would get there soon.”

“Alright, lead the way,” with that we started off again; this time in a more serious mood than before. I decided that the best way to lighten it was to simply talk about things, so we did. I asked him about the other members and how they were and out of courtesy he did the same.

“Yeah we’re one happy family,” his smile seemed strained. Either that or it was just how his smiles normally looked appeared. “What about you? Surely things aren’t that happy family.”

“You’re right,” it slipped out by itself. I saw him waiting for me to continue. “It’s not that I don’t like being in Kara. But, because of my position …”

“What is your position exactly?” How come he didn’t know what it was? I kicked some leaves that were on the path, the traces of the autumn which had departed Japan earlier before.
“I’m the visual and lead dancer.”

“Ah huh,” he nodded taking it in as I said it to him. “So then, what’s the problem?”

“People don’t think I can do anything,” my face fell while speaking. “They think I’m an average singer, lousy at dancing despite it being one of my roles and that my face and figure is all that’s good about me.”

“Hmm,” I couldn’t read his expression well. “So then, if you’ve felt that way for a while why are you still in the music industry? Why haven’t you left to be a model?” His words cut at my core. He didn’t have to be so direct.

“Unless,” he started up. “You want to show them that you can make it. Like Siwon, Yoona and all the other visuals in their groups who do well.” He was right. I wanted to prove myself to the world. Show them I wasn’t just taking up space on stage.

“Hey is that her?” Junhyung pointed to a figure on the swings. I waved at it recognizing Gyuri straight from the beginning. The shadows hid her but from the outline of the waves in her hair, the shape of her legs, the gentle humming from her voice gave her away. “Unnie, its Hara.” Gyuri lifted her head which she’d been hanging down since she probably got on the swing; she was puzzled when she saw Junhyung next to me.

“I’m going to go.” I grabbed his sleeve, making him stand to a stop. “What is it?”

“Thank you,” I bowed to him, going more than I usually did. I couldn’t help it. I owed him a lot. I heard him give a small laugh.

“That’s cute but don’t worry about trying to pay me back or anything. Even my group members have trouble figuring out how to.” Before I could argue or insist that I did so he was leaving, just lifting a hand in a wave from behind like they did in movies or dramas. He must have wanted to play it cool.

“Are you two together?!” I jumped; Gyuri was unexpectedly next to me. I shook my head frantically trying to show her otherwise. “No? Are you sure about that Hara-yah?”

“Unnie,” I moaned, “we really are not together! You would know if we were!”

“Alright, alright I understand.” She pulled her hat down over her head more. “But you do realize that I will eventually have to set you up on another blind date if there is no—“

“—Please for the love of don’t do it!” She could see that I really was dead set against it. Though she wasn’t happy about it, she respected my decision like a good leader.

“Alright, but if you change your mind then just ask,” she put a hand on my shoulder as she added. “I’ll be more careful in my selections.”

Yay interactions *throws confetti* and this fanfic has now reached over 3100 views. This makes me pleased and so I will be adding to the sound track in celebrations. We’re moving towards a vital part in Kara’s career so be excited ^_^