February 24
 
“Now, one two three four,” the choreographer clapped his hands as we went into the dance interlude which involved a lot of chest pumping.

“Good,” he nodded in approval. That was the most we normally got. No ‘well done’ or ‘good job’ but simple gestures such as patting the members on the head if we did well especially. But the only ones who really got this treatment were Nicole who was great at dancing too and Jiyoung, his personal favourite.

“Alright, I think that’s it for today.” We breathed out in relief; we’d been practicing almost without breaks for several weeks now. We wanted to show the fans that we were going to do our best for them as our appreciation to them. Tonight was the last night before we stepped onto stage with our comeback.

****

March 4 2010

“So what other groups will be performing with us?” Seungyeon asked Nicole who was surfing the internet. So far we’d done alright with Lupin and the public loved it. Now we were at Music Bank just getting ready to go on stage in half an hour.

“Hmmm, Girls Generation,” we smiled. Though they were rivals all nine of them are rather friendly. I got on with Jessica more than the others.

“Who else is there?” Jiyoung leaned over Nicole. 

“2am, whoa awesome.” Nicole seemed to like this. “They’re really good.”

“Yeah,” Seungyeon agreed with her on that.

“Also CN Blue,” we nodded.

“T-ara,” they were talented too.

“DGNA,” the mental crickets chirped.

“Who’s that?” Gyuri asked indignant.

“Oh they’re a new group,” Nicole explained. “They’re quite cute,” that was an invitation for us to .

“Hey Brian Joo,” Nicole changed the subject fast. We went back to teasing her though. “I like the song he remade.”

“Hey Hara’s favourite group is performing too.”

“—Wait no what?!” I had no idea what they meant until I saw the name on the list.

“Its Beast,” Seungyeon beamed at me. “Maybe we can hook you and AJ up now.”

“I told you that I’m not—“

“—or maybe you would like Hyunseung?”

“That isn’t what I—“

“—I mean really how could you say no to either of them?” Gyuri pointed out.

“Wouldn’t it be really--?”

“—Not the point Jiyoung,” she was a bit slow some days. We just smiled at her saying no more. Ever since I’d been made to pick a favourite I had been the ace for a lot of jokes between particular members. Of course I wasn’t told of the pairings but girls aren’t exactly quiet whisperers which itself is ironic.

***

“How do you think we went?” Jiyoung was afraid that we may have slipped up at some point.

“I think we were fine,” Gyuri assured her. “But we can do better next time.”

“Hey isn’t that Beast?” We stopped for a moment. The sound of electronic music began to flow down the corridor from above. One of their voices was singing in English and then the beat started to pick up.

“Yeah,” they nodded as the song got into it.

“Wow he’s good.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“The rapper,” the others agreed. I just stood there and listened in silence letting the beats flow through.

“Hey what are you girls doing there?” We all jumped, the stage director was coming towards us.

“Clear the way,” he made us stand against the wall to let Girls Generation come past. In the opposite direction Beast were walking down after their rehearsal.

“How long were we there for?” Seungyeon whispered to us.

“Long enough to be stuck here for longer,” Gyuri rolled her eyes.

“Maybe it’s safe for us to—“

“—Hara watch out!” I hadn’t been paying enough attention to my surroundings. A guy pushing a large lamp strolled towards me, talking away in his headset. I stumbled back to get out of the way when I almost fell onto someone.

“Whoa careful there,” I moved away from the speaker, face heating up from the shame. Without seeing who I’d bumped into, I bowed to them.

“Excuse me,” I said my voice a little on edge from the fear of who it was.

“Hey Junhyung are you done standing there?” I lifted my head as he walked off, his tall figure unmistakable even from the back. I just watched him leave, even his strides, his pace, all of it was charismatic.

I was going to make this chapter longer but changed my mind. Ever felt directionless? I have, I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. It doesn’t mean I will suicide but it’s frustrating. I’m out of school, single and only working a casual job. My life’s no party. I guess it’s good that I can write then. At least I’m doing something with my creative juices.