Chapter 55

“Although I don’t want to, I endlessly held onto you; But I need to let you go – Letting Go”

Apparently leaving the boys was more difficult than coming to stay with them.

She repeated her announcement to leave the day after she told Young K.

But this time with the boys as a whole.

She thought Young K had understood her reasons, and would back her up, but he stood on the side of the fence with his brothers to persuade her to stay.

First by arguing with her, then by sweet talking her, then by giving her the cold shoulder, and lastly by going through Korean university perpectus with her.

They even got Manager Choi, Cordi Kim and the President himself to talk to her.

But she was adamant this time.

This went on for about a month until Sungjin called for a house meeting and decided to take her side.

And one by one of the boys concurred, including Young K.

“But we’re not letting you go til we know it’ll be the best deal for you,” the leader put in his condition.

So, they actually spent the next few weeks sending out applications to universities around Tokyo.

“Tokyo is best,” Wonpil decided for her. “That way we get to see you whenever we have concerts there.”

A remark that made Momo smile sadly internally.

On the outer front, she simply nodded in agreement.

She decided on Management and Linguistics.

“That’s a good choice really, given your knack for languages. Japanese?” Jae asked when they all looked over her shoulder when she filled out her online forms.

“No, English and Korean. It’s a doubles.”

They also looked at online adverts for an affordable lodging. Since working for JYPE, Momo has enough saved for a good stay in Tokyo, but told the boys she would look for part time jobs, to sustain herself further.

So, while waiting for her university acceptance, the boys filled her next two months with trips and things they could not do during their hectic Every Day6 year.

They went fruit picking in Jeju, ate barbequed beef in Nami, picnicked by the Busan Beach, street snacking at Myeongdong, dorned hanbok around Gyeongbokgung and midnight shopping in Cheongdam-dong.

Sometimes they were mobbed by the fans, most times were just greeted cordially.

And in between, Momo started to hand over her job to Manager Choi while still helping the team to prepare for the boys’ upcoming Japanese debut and next Korean comeback.

All these stopped immediately when she finally received an acceptance form Tokyo University.

***

On the day before she was booked for the flight home, the boys stayed out.

Sleeping over at the 7’s dorm, they said.

Giving both Momo and Young K the privacy they needed on Momo’s last night at the dorm.

So, the whole day, Young K helped Momo pack, reminiscing over the trinkets and momentos she amassed ever since being with them.

Keychains, fridge magnets, t shirts, scarfs, Day6 memorabilia and presents for her family.

Sometimes they laughed and at times they cried as they did so.

Each of the boys gave her a going away present too.

A sweater from Dowoon, diamond ear studs from Wonpil, a pair of headphones from Jae and a wrist purse from Sungjin.

She also received a beautiful hanbok from the Chois.

“Piri-kun is crazy,” Momo shook her head as she tucked Wonpil’s expensive present in her handbag instead of the luggage.

“He dotes on you, just like he does on his sister,” Young K said.

“Still…” Momo argued.

Once done with packing, they had a quiet dinner of shared ramen, kimchi and coke.

And then, they stayed cuddled in the dark on the living room sofa with the TV lights dimly lighting the room.

“I’ve got something for you too.”

“Chincha?” Secretly Momo was waiting for a momento from him.

“Uhuh, though not as extravagant as Pil’s” he said as he handed her two small jewellery boxes in one package.

“Anything from you would be priceless,” Momo smiled.

“Sorry I’ve never bought you anything before.”

“Were you supposed to?”

“For your birthdays and such, y’know.”

Momo simply smiled.

“Can I open this?”

“Yeah. This one first.”

It was an exact replica of the leather chain she gave him.

She grinned as she silently told him to put on for her.

“I’ve always wanted a couple thingy,” Yong K grinned. “So I got you this too. Can you imagine the trouble I went to, trying to get to the same shop?"

"You could have just asked me," Momo laughed.

"Naaahhh... where's the fun in that," Young K grinned. "The snowboard is you, the graduation hat you have to earn and the guitar is something I’ll teach you the next time we meet.”

Young K looked down as he said the last part, not daring to look at Momo in the face.

Momo could only smile at his last attempt of holding on to her.

”Can I open the other one?” she asked quietly, pretending not to understand his meaning.

An open ended statement that even she had no rebuttal to.

“Yeah,” Young simply said, handing her the other box.

This time it was a white gold chain with a My Day lemon locket.

But when she lifted it, five other lockets dangled from behind the main one.

MOCHI – each alphabet in a single locket following the pattern of the My Day emblem.

“Oh, it’s beautiful,” Momo smiled in wonder.

Trying ot hold back her tears as a riot of emotion flooded through her head and heart.

Automatically, her thoughts went back to the many instances he called her by that name – from the first time in Hakuba to Dongkook to JYPE corridors to the dorm – anywhere and everywhere.

“Don’t cry,” Young K said sternly, taking the chain from her trembling hands to clasp it around her neck.

Momo did shed a single tear.

“Thank you. For everything.”

***

“Do you really think my voice is not good?”

“I never said that.”

“You said Sungjin’s voice is the best.”

Oh my god, this guy, she thought, grinning silently at his insecurities. Surprised he still remembered what she said in her fit of anger once before. The moment seemed like eons ago.

“Sungjin’s is the best, most stable, Wonpil’s the second best, most distinctive. Jae’s the sweetest. But that’s just my opinion,” always the straight forward Momo explained. “But that doesn’t mean yours is not good. Even Dowoonie has a lovely voice.”

“So mine’s just average?”

They were still sitting in the dark, oblivious to what was shown the muted television.

She gave a small laugh, listening to his boyish dejected voice.

“Such a stickler for self affirmation,” she cupped his face. “You have a beautiful voice, Just Brian. All of Day6 do. That’s your gift as a band.”

“You never mentioned it,” he pouted again.

“I don’t have to, do I? You should already know that I think you have a beautiful voice.

“Just not the most beautiful,” he still pouted.

She laughed and slapped his shoulder. “Gosh, such a worry wart. Insecure much?”

She used the same caption, he once used on her.

Shaking her head, she snuggled back by his side.

After a long silence, Young K said, “actually I am.”

“What?”

“Insecure, that is.”

“Why?”

“That I’m not good enough. Whether I made the right decision to leave my family and come here. Whether I will wither away like most idols when they turn 30. This is a cruel industry, y’know.”

“This is not an industry, this is your life. I’m surprised you’d think the way you do,” Momo tightened her hold on him. “It’s natural to have doubts but I think it’s too late for that.”

Momo moved away from Young K, so he could look at her while she said the following.

“Your voice and your talent are the most versatile, Brian-san. The beauty of your existence, is that you make everything and everyone else’s doubly beautiful. 

Your harmonies bring out the best in the lead singers.

Your bass adds depth to the guitars.

Your lyrics give life to the songs.

You will never wither away.

You will stay on in this profession, one that you have chosen and love, with the people that matters to you and appreciate you. And you will grow to be a legend one day. I may be biased but that’s how I feel.”

Young K’s eyes misted again. Not trusting himself, he simply pulled her back into his arms.

“I have a confession,” Momo suddenly mumurred into his chest.

“What is it?”

“I get really jealous seeing Young K being y on stage.”

“That’s not a confession,” he scoffed. “I know that already.”

“But does he know why I get jealous, though?”

“Oh, wei?”

“Because I want him to be y only for me.”

He balked. He did not expected prim and proper Momo to actually say that.

“I know Young K gets lost in his music most of the time. He’s wild when the music is wild, y when the music is y and sad when the music is sad. He doesn’t really mean it to entice the girls. But the girls do get high seing him like that,” Momo spoke as if talking about a third person.

“So you don’t like it?”

“Nope,” Momo shook her head. “Young K makes me feel nervous, but excited at the same time.”

“Chincha?” Young K smiled at her embarrassed little laugh.

“Neh.”

“How does Brian make you feel?”

“Brian-san makes me feel safe.”

He smiled.

“And Younghyun?”

“I just want to hug and cuddle Younghyun and keep him away from all evils of this world.”

He grew quiet.

And hugged her even tighter, if that was possible.

She’s leaving tomorrow.

How can I live?

“Hey, stop it,” she knew he was growing sad. “Carpe diem, remember. We know this time will come.”

“We won’t be sitting around chatting if it’s carpe diem,” he growled, stealing a bite at her neck.

***

Near midnight, Young K felt Momo slumping beside him, knowing she was tired from the activities of the preceeding weeks. They were to leave for the airport by 10am the next day.

So, he got up and carried her bridal style towards Dowoon’s mattress.

He laid her down, before getting on the inside to stretch out and hugged her from behind.

After a short while, she slowly turned in his arms and snuggled in deeper, sniffling his long neck.

They stayed like that for a long while, with him playing with her hair and drawing circles on her back.

Momo rested her head on his hard chest, hearing the even staccato of his heart.

“You’re so tiny, you fit on me like a little baby.”

She sniggered thinking how weird the statement sounded.

"I wish..." he started

She knew what he wanted to say and stops him imediately

“Don’t, we’ve said all we wanted to say already.”

He sighed and continued to hold her close, soft tears involuntarily flowing down their cheeks.

“I have a few favours to ask of you,” Momo said after some time.

“He sighed, why do I suddenly feel apprehensive?"

She smiled

“I have only three actually.”

“Ok, what are they?”

“Firstly, whenever your ready, please make it up with Don and Terry.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes,” Momo nodded. “Even if its not for them, it’ll be for you.”

He sighed again.

“Ok. The second one?”

“Please stay safe and be happy. Even if writing sad songs make you happy, so be it.”

He laughed.

“Ok, that’s easy. And by the way that’s two favours.”

“Yeah, number one and number two.”

“Nope, the second one has 2 requests – stay safe and be happy.”

“Gosh, ok ok… Make it four then,” she huffed.

God, is this little munchkin really leaving tomorrow?

His heart was already breaking into pieces then, how can he survive tomorrow.

“Last favour.”

“Ok, shoot!”

“Let’s not stay in touch once I leave.”

He froze. She really did shoot him.

“Let’s not call, text, message, tweet or whatever each other.”

“Now, you’re just being cruel.”

“Ok… at least for a year.”

And he unfroze for a bit

“Or until we get older and wiser,” she tried again.

“I don’t think I can survive if I don’t stay in touch with you.”

“I don’t think I can survive if you do.”

“The boys won’t agree to this.”

“Then you’ll just have to convince them.”

He stayed silent, remembering her words of wanting to grow and find herself.

“You did it the last time you left, you can do it again,” Momo spoke again.

“That was different, we were only together for a month. Even so, I died a little. And I did contact you after a few months,” Young K argued, almost harshly. “This time, you’re leaving after being with me for a year and a half.”

“Please,” she pushed up, looking at him in the eye, pleading with his understanding.

She was dying but to continue living, these were the conditions she had to set.

“You’ll forget me soon, your work will keep you busy, and you’ll be free to be y on stage without any jelaous cordi-dongseng-girlfriend waiting in the backstage.”

She attempted to make a joke to lighten the atmosphere but it fell ungraciously flat.

His face darkened, he did not need to tell her how absurd her words were.

“Ok, gomene,” Momo said softly. “I take my words back.”

“You should,” he scolded her.

He simply pulled her down to tighten his arms around her.

“If you feel the same way about me in a year’s time like how you do now, just come and get me, ok? You’ll know where to find me. I promise you, I’ll too ready by then.”

“Ready for what?”

“I dunno, for my next adventure, I guess,” she smiled brightly.

And Young K could not himself but to smile back.

Lastly, he gave in to her and sighed.

“One year, huh? You’d better not shy away from me then,” Young K growled.

***

“Maybe we should sleep, before you start slapping me with more ‘favours’.”

“Hait,” Momo concurred, smilling at his sarcasm.

Her head resting in the creek of his arms.

They both tried to sleep, but who were they to kid.

Slowly Young K’s breath became ragged and Momo’s heart began to beat faster.

Both for no apparent reason until Young K opened his mouth.

“I’m not going to kiss you,” Young K said out of the blue.

“No, I don’t think that’s wise.”

“Ok, at least we agree on something,” he nodded.

But a few heart pounding seconds later, he swooped in for a kill.

His hands went into her hair, holding her head still as he ravaged .

But Momo held her ground, giving him back as good as she got, putting her arms around him as she did.

Kissing him as if her life depended on it.

The broke apart a while later, blood rushing in their ears.

“Maybe you should go sleep in your room,” Young K rasped, trying to catch his breath.

“Yes, perhaps I should,” her eyes wide and her lips red from his assault.

Yet no one moved.

Looking at Momo’s dishevelled state, was making Young K lose his mind.

And they kissed again.

His hands desperately groping her, seeking for her flesh and warmth.

Trying to memorise every part of her - from the sweetness of her lips to the curve of her neck, and from the touch of her hands to the sweet smell of her hair.

He wanted to imprint her whole existence in his mind and heart.

After a long while, they broke apart once again.

Young K pushing Momo to face the other way.

“Sleep, sleep, let’s just sleep, ok?”

“Ok,” Momo nodded in agreement.

As if they could.

But they both pretended to, buoyed by their respective thoughts and melancholy until daybreak.