Chapter 50

“Days we played around and laughed; Memories that are so precious fill me up; Though I don’t want them to; I endlessly held onto you; But I need to let you go - Letting Go”

They did not win the best band award.

But their two-day Every Day6 Finale concert tickets sold out in 5 minutes flat upon release.

And 40% of the sales was bought by international fans, indicating their growing popularity both within and beyond the local shores.

“Congratulations, guys!” Junhyeok raised his coke glass. “Sold out concerts at the Olympic Hall is no joke.”

“Yeah, we’re kinda surprised really,” Jae grinned. “3000 pax in one sitting. Maaan… I hope I don’t pee in my pants.”

The boys were out for one of their regular dinners with Junhyeok, seated around a barbeque table in a private restaurant room.

They tended to keep their meet ups low-keyed, not wanting JYP, Manager Choi or their fans to know.

True to the rumours, Junhyeok did voluntarily leave the band because of a scandal involving a fan.

They had just debuted, when Junhyeok and the fan started texting each other.

Despite Junhyeok’s caution, telling her not to leak their private conversations which included him disclosing their upcoming events, music set-lists and appearances, the silly fan did the total opposite.

Private conversations on how Junhyeok promised to protect her at all costs, were also made public.

Which of course resulted in the sasaengs’ wrath and JYP's stern disapproval.

But when the fans started to boo him or simply kept quiet during his solo performances, Junhyeok balked under pressure and decided to quit the band.

Rumour also had it that he left in favour of the said fan, foregoing all his hard work and trainee days.

The boys knew that the fan actually took advantage of Junhyeok’s sweetness; and that the latter left mainly because he did not want the sasaeng’s hatred towards him, to affect the band as a whole.

So, despite Junhyeok’s leaving disrupting their earlier music tandem, they still maintain their brotherhood, albeit in a very discreet way.

In fact, the departure of their former keyboardist may even have a better impact than nought.

Junhyeok’s leaving somehow strengthen Sungjin’s place as leader and main vocalist, provided more opportunities for Young K to sing, gave Wonpil the chance to showcase his piano skills and Jae to arrange more songs. The only one who stayed constant was maknae Dowoon.

Yet, they wished things could have been better for their sweet voiced talented former colleague.

The fan left him as soon as he left the band, his first try for comeback with another band, failed and he even suffered a mild depressive turn.

Until he made a rebound and joined The Unit.

“So, hyung, how’s your training at The Unit so far?” Dowoon asked, as he wrapped himself a piece of beef in a lettue leaf.

“Uhmm… I was eliminated over a month ago,” Junhyeok said.

“Hyung…” Dowoon said apologetically, the wrapped lettuce stopped in mid air.

“Obviously, you guys haven’t been following me,” Junhyeok smiled sadly.

“Hyung… we…” Wonpil tried to come to Dowoon’s rescue with a reply, but failed, he himself loss for words.

“We’re so sorry Junhyeok. We missed that since we were getting ready for the States then,” Sungjin said instead, after a bout of awkward silence.

“No worries, chingu, I understand. And now you’re even busier, with the upcoming finale and everything.”

“So, what will you do, hyung?” Wonpil asked in concern.

“I was thinking of a solo. Reason for my elimination was the fact I can’t dance mostly,” Junhyeok grinned.

“Yeah, a solo would be good,” Sungjin nodded with approval, though doubts clouded his eyes.

It was unspoken but they all knew that throughout Junhyeok’s appearance on The Unit, Day6 fans, presumably the same group that was extremely vocal during the Junhyeok’s scandal days, created havoc on the social media - saying that the ex Day6 member was just milking off the band’s rising popularity, and that he was never good enough for the band in the first place. Some even went beyond by saying that Junhyeok’s departure was the best thing that has ever happened to the band.

But the boys did not want to be taken in by the minority albeit extremely loud noises and opted to stick by their friend.

However, even they knew that trying to break into the scene again after numerous failures and negative reactions, would be tough.

But then again, Sungjin thought to himself, one can never predict this fickle industry.

“Shall we write you a song, hyung?” Young K asked quietly. His heart went out to his former colleague. His mind on the same wavelength as his leader.

“That’ll be helpful,” Junhyeok smiled, knowing having a song written by the band would be a selling point. “Thanks, Brian.”

The mood has grown sombre, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

“So, where is Momo-ssi staying now? She’s no longer in my old room?” Junhyeok spoke of Momo. They have met a few times when Junhyeok visited the boys in the past.

“No, she’s staying with the Chois,” Dowoon answered.

The boys started to bring Junhyeok up to date with their latest happenings, starting from their successful and fun American Tour to the Despatch scoop to the lashing they got from their revered boss.

“Yeah, those sasaeng are from hell itself,” Junhyeok said bitterly, and the boys knew exactly where it was coming from, “and JYP can be quite an . But at least you’re keeping the Little Geisha safe with the Chois.”

“Yeah, we miss her so much,” Wonpil gushed.

“But at least she still prepares us food in the mornings,” Dowoon said.

The boys chattered on, but Young K did not hear a word of them.

His ears were buzzing, and his face grew pale.

“What did you call her?” He quietly asked Junhyeok, who was sitting across him.

“What?”

“Momo, how did you describe her.”

“Uhh… Momo-ssi?”

“No, you called her the Little Geisha.”

“I did?”

“Yeah… you did.”

“Mian, I didn’t mean anything derogatory with the name.”

“It’s not being derogatory… though it is, somewhat,” Young K’s eyes saddened with sudden realisation, his whole body gone cold all of a sudden. “But that’s what you wrote in the email, didn’t you?”

“Oh god, that’s right,” Jae realised, “that last email you received.”

“Email, what email?” Junhyeok asked, looking at the others around the table.

“The email with the Coex picture. You sent me many before via different addresses. But the last one you sent, you called Momo ‘my Geisha’.”

“That’s a shot in the dark, isn’t it?” Junhyeok said, yet betraying beads of cold sweat has broken out at his temples. Junhyeok was never one to lie effectively. “I guess you’re talking about your stalker?”

“I guess it is,” Young K mumbled, wanting to prove himself wrong. “But then again, let’s prove it.”

Young K took his phone and retrieved that last email he received.

“If you’re smart, hyung, that account won’t be tagged to your phone,” he said.

A beep came from Junhyeok’s phone as Young K’s email went through.

“But if you’re not…” Young K gave a ragged sigh as he heard the tell-tale beep.

All the other members stared at Junhyeok, trying not to believe Young K’s accusation.

“Open your mail, dude,” Jae urged him. “Prove him wrong.”

Junhyeok looked up at Jae, who was staring at him with bewildered eyes.

“You mean prove your buddy right,” he said snidely, automatically changing his expression and whole disposition from a warm old friend, to that of a bitter adversary. “You Americans just have to stick together, don’t you?”

“Do it, hyung,” Wonpil urged, “for all our sakes.”

None of them wanted to believe that Junhyeok was the perpetrator in all this. But if he was, it would answer a lot of questions, starting with how Dowoon’s picture got leaked.

Junhyeok threw his phone on the table, knowing it was fruitless to deny the obvious.

True enough, without even having to go into the email app, the notification was clear on his screen

The silence was deafening.

“Why, hyung?” Young K asked hoarsely. “What wrong did I do to you?”

“Nothing,” Junhyeok shook his head sadly. “It’s just that you were the easiest at that time.”

“Easiest?” Jae asked.

“I wanted to bring JYP down by taking you all down,” Junhyeok said softly.

The truth was, he was tired lying to his buddies. They have done nothing but to support him all this while, and he was feeling guilty using them.

But his hatred for the president was strong and lately his envy for the boys too. He knew his voice was the sweetest amongst them and his musical skills was the most polished, yet he was out of the band while they were now flying high.

So, what started as a spur of the moment vendetta, grew. Or at least materialised, whenever he remembered to engage in it.

“All of us?” Sungjin repeated.

“I wanted Day6 to be a failure,” Junhyeok shrugged. “That without me, you’d fail. I was the one who suggested to Hyung-nim to create the band anyways, yet…”

“Yet, we took it away from you.”

“But you didn’t really, it was really my own fault. You guys even warned me about it. But you guys always had it easy with the girls, the fans. And June was the first one who really came on to me,” Junhyeok smiled in rememberance. “But guess what, before she left, she confessed that it was Brian she really wanted in the first place, and that just made me flip.”

June was the fan Junhyeok ‘dated’.

“I thought she was Wonpil-hyung’s stan?” Dowoon asked, remembering what he read on the social media.

“She was stanning everyone. But none of you guys replied her DM. Except me.”

“So you did this just because of that girl? That’s not fair, is it? It was her who did you wrong, not us,” Jae nearly yelled, but kept his cool at the last minute. “In fact, we told you to stop texting her.”

Yet, you went on like a besotted fool, Jae thought to himself. He was well aware of what a girl could do to ones’ career and life, which was why he was wary of Momo’s presence at the beginning. In this line, you just have to make your choice and live with it.

“Maybe it was just an excuse on my part,” Junhyeok said softly. “Truth was, I regretted my decision for leaving. Hell, I’m still regretting it. I just needed to take it out on someone.”

“But hyung, it’s not Brian-hyung’s fault for that fan to like him,” Wonpil reasoned.

“No, it’s not… but it is his fault for JYP wanting to get rid of me.”

“Mwo?” Sungjin asked in disbelief at Junhyeok’s rationale. “Why would PD-nim want to get rid of you?”

“To give Brian more singing parts, of course. If I was still around, Brian would just still be rapping.”

“Junhyeok, you have your strength, but so does uri Brian,” Sungjin said. “You haven’t been performing up to mark those last few days with us. Maybe it’s because the sasaengs were giving you a hard time, but you know we’ve been trained not to bow to pressure. You couldn’t persevere at The Unit either. And you’ve got the sweetest voice there.”

“So, now it’s my fault?”

“We’re not saying it’s your fault. But for you to blame Brian, and doing these things,” Sungjin treid to reason. “You can’t bring PD-nim down like that, he’s just too big. But you would, however, have killed all of us.”

“But I didn’t, did I? That old man even held a PC to back Brian up. Those pictures were so obvious. You were caught on camera, with girls, stark , Brian,” Junhyeok raised his voice, trying to prove himself, “and he held a PC to deny it.”

Junhyeok was clearly upset, remembering what he went through at his resignation.

“I had to leave the company just because of a silly girl’s Tweets, and the sasaengs went for my throat… and Hyung… he didn’t even try to persuade me to stay.”

Junhyeok was getting agitated.

“You guys don’t see it, but the big guy loves this boy more than any of us. Is it because of his father? I don’t know, maybe.”

This was the second time this month Young K heard about himself being favoured by the President. He tried to recall the scolding he got about this scandal.

And Junhyeok was right. They were mere scolding, like from a father to his child, nothing more.

Would another JYPE artiste get the same treatment? Was he truly favoured? He did not really ask for it, if it was true. And his father was not one to bestow any favours just for his son, was he?

“Why do I feel hurt all of a sudden,” Dowoon said, never thinking of Young K as how Junhyeok painted him to be. “I thought we are all brothers, no matter where our career takes us.”

“You’re one to talk,” Junhyeok scoffed. “You, the one who got the best end of this bargain. Shot to stardom just after three months of joining the company.”

“Hey, stoped picking on someone else just because you feel bad about yourself, man,” Jae interjected. “Same goes to Brian. Even if the Pres favours him… don’t you think he deserves it?”

“You too, Jae, for that matter. A measely three years of training and you’re in the band. Unlike us who had to put in 5 to 6 years. You also took Brian’s guitar from him. Don’t you feel bad about yourself?”

“No, unlike you, I don’t,” Jae argued. “I don’t go around feeling sorry for myself. True I took Bri’s guitar position, but that’s because he’s versatile enough to pick another instrument with his eyes closed. Same goes with his rapping and writing. He’s quick and talented as . So what? If you wanna be like him, you’d better run and keep up. That’s what I’m doing. If you had chuck away your jealousy, you’d concentrate more on improving yourself. Hyung-nim can’t afford to lose this dude. Maybe that’s why he fought for Brian. Not because he favours him more than any of us. And if you do wanna be favoured like Brian, then I suggest you just work your off.”

“Enough, Jae, just stop this,” Brian held his friend back.

“No Bri. I think all of us got our own strengths in this. There’s just no room for jealousy. Not over girls, nor talents, nor PD-nim’s attention. We get what we earn. So, I just can’t stand it if one picks on another cos of their own shortcomings. And that’s what this dude is trying to do,” Jae fumed. “He’ll break up apart if he keeps this going on.”

“He did work at improving himself, Jae, that’s why he joined The Unit.”

Young K turned towards Junhyeok.

“That’s why you went quiet for a while, didn’t you, hyung?” Young K asked. “You were busy with the show at that point. But you started again after you got eliminated.”

Junhyeok looked down and smiled cynically.

All food left abandoned at this point.

“I got axed just a day before our last meet-up actually. I thought you took me out to cheer me up. But none of you knew. Instead, you were excitedly telling me about your American tour,” Junhyeok smiled bitterly. “I was so bummed, and I thought of taking you guys down again. But I had nothing more on you at the time, so I simply mailed you to tell you I haven’t finished. I even thought of taking Momo away from you.”

Young K’s face grew tight at the mention, remembering the veiled threat in Junhyeok’s email. He never thought the keybpordist had it in him to try something so nasty.

“Then, I went for a drink with Wonpil and Dowoon at the time your Canada friend came. I borrowed Dowoon’s phone to call a cab, and that’s when I saw your picture with Momo-ssi. And I sent it straight to Despatch, along with the older Hakuba photos. They decided to keep them til the day you come back from America.”

“How did you know I was in Hakuba back then?”

“We told him,” Sungjin admitted with regret. “We trusted you, Junhyeok. You’re our brother. You’ll always be our brother. But now look what you're doing to us.”

“I guess I should feel sorry and I do, but Hyung-nim didn’t help appease my anger. When I went to see him to talk about what I should do about the scandal, leaving the band was the last on my list. But that was the choice he accepted. It was as if, he was waiting for my resignation. He kept hinting, how I wasn’t performing up to standard and that my singing part should’ve been given to Brian instead. And a lot more,” he shook his head sadly. “So, I gave in. And I was thinking maybe I should take you down one at a time, till the JYP has no choice but to disband you. But that didn’t happen, did it? Quite the opposite. Brian’s scandal brought the band more listeners and even higher sales.”

The others kept quiet knowing that it was exactly as how Junhyeok said it.

Wonpil was crying quietly in his corner, now knowing the person who was creating all these problems was none other than a beloved hyung.

”So, how long were you gonna keep this up?” Sungjin asked. ”Until we really disband?”

Junhyeok kept quiet. It sounded crass and even self-centric, now everything was out in the open like this. The boys will never know the hurt, bewilderment and despair he felt the past years trying to rebuild his life. And thinking what he has missed.

“I know that a girl can be your greatest downfall, but at that moment, all I could think of… was how you could continue your gigs so naturally without me. And how the fans accepted the decision without much fuss. It was as if… I was never really needed,” Junhyeok finished sadly.

He then asked the inevitable.

“So, you guys want to turn me in, now, huh?”

“We have to tell the Hyung,” Sungjin said apologetically. “As of now, he’s suspecting all of us.”

Junhyeok sighed.

“It can’t be helped, I suppose. My life couldn’t be any worse than this.”

“No it’s not,” Jae said, feeling bad for his earlier words. “You’re still young. You’ll have more opportunities in the future. We’ll get Hyung-nim to keep this quiet. But we do have to let him know, cause at this point, his biggest suspect is Mo-chan herself, and that won’t be fair to her.”

“I know… please tell her I’m sorry,” Junhyeok said dejectedly. “You guys do what you must. I’m ready to face the consequences.”

Despite the boys reassurance that JYP would go easy on him, he knew the President can be quite ruthless in his dealings, especially now that he knew a public confession like this would clear Young K from any bad press and benefit Day6 as a whole.

The band was already at the threshold of greatness now that the Every Day6 project was at its grand closure. New doors will soon open up to them with the right publicity.

“I’m sorry, Hyung,” Young K looked at Junhyeok sadly. He just felt so bad for Junhyeok. His thoughts were also along the same lines as the latter’s, and after his blow up with his Canadian brothers, Young K did not want to cut any more ties. He just wanted Junhyeok and Day6 to be friends again.

And if his apology would break the animosity, no matter how misplaced it was, then he will be first to apologise.

“That’s just like you, isn’t it, Bra?” Junhyeok looked at Young K, a sad smile playing on his lips. “I did you wrong, and you’re the one who’s apologising.”

He leaned forward to grasp Young K’s hand in full regret.

“I’m so sorry, chingu,” and Junhyeok looked around the table, silent tears running down his cheeks, “I’m sorry to all of you.”

***

The boys did tell JYP and the others the next day, but no action was taken, or needed to be.

Because shy, sweet voiced Im Junhyeok killed himself that morning.

Foxi’s Notes: The fact I wrote about Junhyeok is pretty much what was circulated in the social media. Junhyeok is a 5Live/Day6 pioneer, even at pre debut stage, & he’ll always have a special place in most My Days’ hearts. It’s a shame about what happened to him, but I guess it was just fate.

Letting Go https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-1TGNmQqZA was released as part of Day6’s second album sans Junhyeok. Though it wasn’t formally mentioned but we all take it that the song is a tribute to our dear keyboardist, looking at how a lone keyboard was included in the MV. Though, listening to the lyrics, one can deduce that the song is from Junhyeok to the boys instead of the other way around. The lyrics was incidentally written by Young K and Wonpil.

Here’s a tribute to our sweet voiced talented JH https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0rc6WknKsQ. May he find his well deserved recognition one day soon.

DISCLAIMER: Again, I duly apologise for any tweaked facts about JH in this story, be them intentionally or unintentionally. I mean no disrespect or infringement of any kind to JH, JYPE or any Day6 members whatsoever. The story is strictly for fictional purposes.