English Korean

Chapter Twenty-Eight

'THE KING OF POP IS DEAD'

'R.I.P Michael Jackson'

'Jackson's in mourning'

Michael Jackson, my idol and my friend... is dead.

It was a normal day and then I the TV and it was everywhere. I was in America, filming for 'Dream Girls' when I heard the news. When I got on set, everyone had a moment of silence while we mourned for the King of Pop music.

“Uh, Amila, hi, I'm Jennifer Hudson.” a big, black girl introduced herself when we were at lunch.

“Oh, my god! You were on American Idol! I voted for you! Girl, you were amazing.” I took her hands in my own while I started fan-girling. I remember watching her amazing performances in 2004. This girl has a set of pipes on her!

“Really? I'm a huge fan of yours. I've been supporting you since I first listened to 'Listen'.” she gushed and we started fan-girling about one another.

Filming went by really quickly and it was soon time for the annual family gathering. Mama has a house in Houston and we are all meeting there. Jiyong was unable to come as he is preparing for his solo debut. The 2NE1 girls have released their album and it is fire (pun intended)!

At the family gathering, I played the album and we were all jamming to the music. Chrissie liked 'I Don't Care' while mama liked 'Pretty Boy'.

A month later, I was once again on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

“This is the woman who has everything. Come on out, Amila!” Oprah introduced me and I walked

out in a silver and gold sparkly dress.

My song, 'Freakum Dress' blasted through the speakers while the audience cheered. I gave Oprah a hug and waved some more.

“You look wonderful! Is that one of your designs?” she asked me.

“No, it's my mama's design.” I replied while we waited for the audience to calm down.

“I LOVE YOU!” came from the audience and I turned and blew them a kiss.

“I love you, too!” I smiled back and turned my attention to Oprah.

“So, you have been so busy. You have had photo-shoots and filming for your new movie, Dream Girls, all around the world in under a week! When do you get a day off?” she asked in shock. Not many people can handle that, I suppose.

“All around the world in one week. I get a day off in a couple of days, two more days and I have one day off. Roughly, every seven days I try to have a day off. But that's just when I'm promoting an album or a movie. Normally, I make sure I have more time.”

“So, what you gonna do?”

“I don't know. I want to relax. When I have more spare time, I want to go on a boat and get away from all the cameras.”

“Yeah, I heard you guys like boating.” she nodded in recognition.

“It's the most beautiful thing, you feel like you're in your own world. You feel like your protected from everything. It's perfect.”

“It's the life. The New York Times is saying you are the woman who has everything, is that true?”

“I feel that I am so blessed to already have this much. I most certainly don't have everything, I still live with my mama, I still need to sort out a lot in my life but I feel good at the pace I'm going at. I have more than I ever thought I would and I'm still in the low end of luxury. I feel like I've worked hard for what I have and I'm going to keep on working hard.” the audience erupt into cheers as I finish my little speech.

“People see the videos, the pictures and me but they don't realise how difficult it really is. I had to sacrifice a lot growing up and I didn't do a lot of things most teenage girls did.” I explained.

“What do you think you sacrificed?” Oprah inquired.

“Well, just a lot of personal things, you know.”

“Going to the prom?”

“Going to the prom, going to the games, have a boyfriend.” I listed off.

“Your life is better.” Oprah interrupted and it made everyone laugh.

“I don't regret it at all.” I laughed.

“Listen, you go to prom, I'll go to Tokyo.” I burst out laughing and nodded my head in agreement.

“Yeah but at the time you feel like you're missing out and now it's like I'm not like everybody else. I look back and I wouldn't change anything. I personally believe young people are supposed to work while they are young and when you're in school, focus on school. I worked day after day to get where I am and now I can start to relax when I want to relax.”

“How do you find time to sustain your relationship with you-know-who?”

“It was difficult. I had to learn how to have boundaries and how to have balance. I wanted to keep thing that are pure and real in perspective and keep it where we want it to be. We want to keep that life separate from the performance life.”

“But do you like being in a committed relationship?”

“I like being committed to somebody because that means things don't get complicated.”

“You guys are so committed to each other, do we hear church bells ringing in the near future?”

“Not yet, we are both too busy and we like to take things slow and steady. The most important thing is to make sure you have your own life before you're someone else's wife. And we are making sure we have our own life at the moment. And I mean that, it's important.” the audience make sounds of agreement and Oprah made me shake her hand.

“I remember when you first came on the show and we discussed not revealing your private life and you are doing a very good job at that.”

“I remember. I'm trying, it's hard with you.”

“I know so only tell me what you want me to know.” she looked at me expectantly.

“I did.” I said with a cheesy grin and everyone in the studio was in hysterics.

“I'm asking for them,” she gestured to the audience, “but I would have to say you are pulling it off. I don't know how you did it but you are doing great. More with Amila when we come back.”

'Crazy In Love' sounds through the speakers and it's commercial break.

“So, explain who Deja is.” Oprah said when we came back.

“Deja is my stage presence. She is everything I'm not. She is fierce, y, super confident and she does her own thing. She wears that bodysuit and I can never walk out and do that, I would feel ridiculous if I ever did that.” I explained for her while holding up my CD so everyone could see the bad picture on the front of me.

“People are familiar with her like in the 'Crazy In Love' music video and 'Deja Vu'. There are a few songs in there that are more personal like 'Halo' and 'Flaws And All'. Deja is for the fans.” I giggled embarrassedly.

“When you're getting ready to go on stage and perform, when does Deja show up?” Oprah asked me.

“Usually when I hear the crowd, when my stilettos go on and when I'm about to go on stage, that is when she appears.” I told her. “She appears in my posture, in the way I speak and everything is different.”

“Oh, Deja's coming out.” Oprah sassed and I started laughing.

“No, no. She's not coming out. Deja doesn't do interviews, she only performs.” everyone was laughing with me which made me feel really good.

“You leave her home for interviews.”

“Yes.” I nodded and kept on giggling.

“Does Deja ever go home?”
 

“Uh, sometimes.” that caused the audience to wolf-whistle, laugh and make all sorts of noises while Oprah and I were laughing. “Not often, only on special occasions.”
 

“So, when Deja has been put away, you and you-know-who are having down time, what d'you do?”

“I cook and I am the master of 'hamburger helper'. It's really a shame because my mother is an amazing cook, Jiyong's mother is an amazing cook, and I really want to learn to do all these dishes but I never have the time because it's hard.”

“What do you do for Thanksgiving?”

“My mother cooks. I make the ice water but this time I'm helping a little more.”

Everyone was laughing at that. I could see Aiden laughing and shaking his head in embarrassment for me.

“Okay, more with Amila when we come back.” Oprah said to the cameras and it went to commercial break once again. Deja Vu sounded and we started doing little dance moves to it.

When we came back, we saw a clip of me singing 'At Last'.

“That was Amila playing the amazing Etta James in Cadillac Records.”

“That was most definitely the most fulfilling role I have ever played because it's so different and I know people have the ideas of what goes on behind the scenes for the celebrity world but this shows how hard it is for some. It was hard because there is one scene where I almost overdose on heroine and every other word outta my mouth is profanity and I was afraid I wasn't ready for a part so dramatic. My mother told me 'what's wrong with you? You're more than ready'. I had to prepare a lot for this role.”

“Did you take cussin' lessons?”

“No, that came easy.” I blurted which made everyone laugh and when I realised what I said, I was so embarrassed.

“It was easy for me because I don't swear much and it was a place where I could be whatever, as raw as I wanted to be. Which was so exciting for me.”

“Cadillac Records is out now, everybody.” Oprah announced. “So, before we go to break, I need to ask you this.”

“Oh, no, I'm scared.” I shrunk into my seat.

“I'm just asking for them.” Oprah gestured to the audience. “Are you getting married or are you pregnant?” she asked me.

“Oh, am I?” I said looking at my ring finer then looking at my belly. “No.”

“Do you want to have a husband and children?”

“I do. My mama and father, they were married and they had me and my sister and also my best friend Izzy is like my sister. I want a family but there is a time for it and I'm not ready yet but maybe in the future.” I told her with a small smile.

“Did you hear that everyone? Amila will be pouring the ice water on Thanksgiving and she is not married or pregnant. Amila is going to sing, that is next.” Oprah finished our interview and I quickly hugged her before going off to get ready.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZjeOHfWHgs