HAYOUNG

I don’t know what time it is, but I can hear someone knocking my door. I open my eyes and stretch and ask “Who is it?” still lying down.

“It’s us. Emma and Wendy. Open the door.” Wendy said.

I stand up lazily and walk to the door and open it for them.

“Hi.” That’s all I said.

“Hi. Sorry to wake you up. We were just worry after whatever happen yesterday.” Emma said.

I just smile.

“We bought breakfast.” Wendy said.

I chuckle and tell them to walk in. The happily walk in and when straight to the kitchen. I told them to be comfortable like always while I go and take a bath. They nod and start preparing the breakfast. While I, myself walk to the bathroom and take a long cold shower.

Once I was done and got change, I walk out from the bathroom and saw the food was ready on the dining table and they are waiting for me sitting at the dining table. I walk to them and sit on one of the table. Then we start eating.

After done having our breakfast, we all sit on my bed and turn on the television and watch some random variety show.

Then Emma starts to ask “So what happen yesterday, Hayoung?”

I look at Emma with a frown. Emma looks at me and said “Come on. You know what I’m saying.”

“Nothing happen. I suddenly have my panic attack. That’s all.” I lie. I can’t tell them the truth.

“Hayoung. We know each other like 5 month now. You never get any panic attack. So tell us. We promise to be best friend.” Wendy said.

“It’s really something I don’t want to talk about. Please guys.”

Emma places his mug on the table and turn to look at se sitting Indian style.

“Let’s do this. Every one of us here has a past that we don’t want to talk about. And only one person knows about this. Example, mine, only Wendy knows and Wendy’s only I know. No one knows about this and promise that we won’t tell anyone about this. Hayoung, we are friends now. You never open up about yourself. We want to know you more. We promise to be friends. Best friends. You need to believe up. So are you in?”

Maybe they are telling the truth. I only know them for 5 month but and they always there beside me. They are my girl friend that I always want. “Okay. I’m in.”

“Okay then. Let me start first.” Emma said.

I just nod my head.

“My parents now are not my real parents. I was left all alone at the orphan house. I was 7 if I’m not mistaken when my mom left me there with a promise that she will come back and take me. That was the last I saw her. She never came back. I waited for her every single day for her to come but she never came. 3 years later, my current mom and dad took me. I wasn’t that happy because I still hope my mom will come and take me back. But then the sister at the orphan said that real mom will never come back because she left me here for good. I was sad and just follow my mom and dad back home. They try to do everything to make me happy. For the first two three month, I’ll lock myself in room. Until one day I realize that they are better than my real mom. They never give up for making me happy and I start to accept them. They were really happy when I accept. You should look at their face. We were basically happy family until one day when I was 17, one of my dad’s brothers-in-law, my uncle came from L.A. He was really nice toward me. Very-very nice toward me. I really thought he loves me as a daughter and I started to like him to. But just as an uncle. I trusted him. But I didn’t know that was my biggest mistake.”

I look at Emma and I saw tears that she was trying to hold fall. She looks broken.

“One day, I was sleeping in my room. I remember the door was lock. I was sleeping when suddenly I felt someone caressing my bare leg since I was wearing shorts. When I open my eyes, I saw my…my uncle there. Sitting at the edge of the bed. I pull my leg and sit down. I ask him what he was doing here in my room at night. He was just smiling. But the smile wasn’t the usual smile. It was different kind smile. He keeps on moving near me and I keep on backing away until my back hit the headboard and I was trap. I ask him again, what he was doing here.”

She closed her eyes and tears keep on flowing. I hold her hand and said “Emma, if it’s hard for you to tell, don’t.”

“No. I want to.” She wipes her tears and continues telling me “My uncle said that I look really beautiful. And he keeps on touching me. My leg, up to my tight until he touch my private part. I was shock and push his hand away from me. But he keeps on touching me. Hayoung that night I still remember what he did. I didn’t get but he molests me. I told him that I’m going to tell my parents but he just laugh and said that my mom and dad won’t believe me. So the next day, I told my mom and dad and that guy was right. Mom and dad didn’t believe me. Since he stays at our house, every night, he come to my room and molests me. I wanted to shout but I couldn’t because he will tie my hand and tape my mouth. The only part that I didn’t get tied was my leg. So just by my leg, I get to push him but he was strong. The only person knows what happen to me is Wendy. She told me to make a report but I said I can’t because I don’t have any proof. I remember that every night I’ll lock the door. But he still able to come in. Until one day, he tries to me in my room. Try to push him away by kicking him but he was strong. So strong. I try to shout, but I couldn’t. I don’t know what happen that day, I kick him hard to push him and he hit my dressing table and fall. That must wake my mom and dad up because the next thing I know is that mom, dad and my aunty walk in the room. They were shock to see me all tied up. Then dad starts to believe that I was telling the truth. Dad hit him bad but my aunty said that I must did something or seduce him that’s why he did this. I was relief that mom and dad didn’t believe her and my uncle. So that night they throw them away from the house. Mom and dad apologize for not believing me. Mom and dad wanted to make a report but I told them not to. Because if they did, their dignity and my dignity will be effect. So I told them not to. Then I became my old self back. Locking in the room, not going to school, never eat or drink. My parents start to worry with my condition. Then one day, I collapse and was rush to the hospital. When I open my eyes, I saw how devastated was my mom and dad. They look so tired and sad. That all happen because of me and I am not even their biological child. That what wakes me up. I shouldn’t have made them suffer. So I try to become myself back with their and Wendy’s help. I have a trouble with believing guys and my only friend that is guy was Mark. It took me month before I become myself back. Then one day Jake came in my life and I never felt save before with others like how I felt save with him. Now I’m all back. I still have that stupid nightmare but it’s not as serious as before I meet Jake. That’s my story.” Emma said wiping her tears. I wipe my tears and hug her tightly.

She laughs and said “Hey, I’m fine now.”

“You’re so strong, Emma.” I said meaning all the word.

“I was strong because of my friends and parents. If they wasn’t there for me. I don’t think I will be here now. So now who’s’ turn.”

“I’ll go first. Then Hayoung will be the last.” Wendy said.

“Okay. No problem.” I said.

“Well mine wasn’t as bad as Emma’s. Well leave with my mom, dad and my older brother. We were happy family until one day; mom died 5 years ago. Dad who was avery carrying and loving person start to change. He starts to drink and he was fired from his work. Then when he didn’t have money to buy drink, he starts to sale all mine and mom jeweler.  I and my brother try to stop him but nothing change. And we need money for school fees ad books. So we start to work and try to hide the money from my father. Because we know that if he found the money, he will go and buy alcohol. Then what we don’t to happen, happened. Dad found the money and buys bottles of beers. My brother got to know about that and he start to shout at dad. Saying that dad doesn’t deserve to call a dad. His not a father. Many more. Dad slaps brother and said that whatever it is, he still is our father. Then my brother said that if he still want to be a father to us then act like one. Stop drinking. If mom knows, she will be very angry and shame on you and regret that she ever fall in love with you. That hit dad and dad fall on his knee and cry. Me and my brother walk in the room and leaves him all alone. That night, dad came and apologizes to us saying that brother was right, he wasn’t a good father and neglected his job as a father. We forgive him and his back to his old self and we are back as a happy family. That’s all.”

I just smile at them. I start to feel nervous. I never told anyone about this beside Arvin.

“Now is your turn, Hayoung.” Wendy said.

I look at them taking turn. Then I look at my finger that I was playing with and said it. “I didn’t have a good and happy childhood. I was been abuse by my own father.”

SEHUN

I couldn’t sleep properly last night after what happen to Hayoung, so I call Arvin and told him to come to one of the coffee shop there. I was glad that he agrees. I quickly get shower and change in to my short and my favorite white t-shirt. I went straight to the coffee shop that I promise to meet. Right on time, Arvin and I came at the same time. We walk in the coffee shop and bought our coffee. Once we paid, we take the most private place that is near the mirror on the corner of the café.

Then he asks “Why did you want to meet me?”

“I couldn’t sleep yesterday thinking about what happen to Hayoung. What happen to her, Arvin? I need to know.”

“I will tell you. But I need to ask you first. Do you love her?”

“Yes I do. I love her so much. I love her from the first time I saw her. I love her so much and I never felt this way before with any girl. Ever. So help me Arvin. I need to know about her so that I can protect her.”

Arvin sighs and said “I can see that. It’s good to heard that someone loves her and want to protect her. No one ever said that before. I don’t know if it’s my place to tell you this.”

“Please Arvin. I really need your help. I promise you I won’t ever leave her all alone. I need to know about her.” I peal.

“She’s going to kill me if I tell you. Look Sehun, you are really a good guy. I know that because I saw it with my own eyes. I like you.” Arvin said.

I look at him in shock.

Maybe he saw my shock face. Because the next thing I know, he was laughing and said “Not that like. I mean I like you as a friend or a person. Don’t worry. I only fall in love with a gay. I never attracted to a straight guy. What I mean to say is, you kind and good. I like you and for Hayoung, the truth is I can’t think of other guy beside you. That day, when you told me you love her at the swimming pool court, I was happy. But I just want to make sure you really love her. You’re not just saying you love her just to ask for my help and to know about her secret. So I’m asking you again, do you really really love her. Or you are planning to just past your time or win a bet with anyone.”

“I really do love her. I love her so much. I know it’s stupid to fall in love with just one bump. But I did fall in love with her when I saw her for the first time. I thought it was just an attraction. But it’s not. It’s love. So help me Arvin. I promise you, I will never play with her heart.”

“Okay. I can see your telling the truth and you really love her in your eyes. So listen.”

I nod my head agreeing.

“Hayoung didn’t have normal life before she move her. The Hayoung that you see now, who laugh and smile all the time have a really rough life that she’s trying to run away. Hayoung was been abused before he came her. Abused by none other than her own dad.”

WHAT! ABUSED! OH MY GOD!

“What do you mean by abused? A dad won’t abuse his own daughter.”

“That’s what people always think. No father in this world abuses their own child. But not Hayoung. She was abused by her own father since she was 6 or 7…”

Oh God! How can a father do that?

“… Hayoung was been abuse so badly that you can’t even imagine that a person can hit someone that bad. Her father was an alcoholic. I very bad alcoholic and gambler. He didn’t just hit Hayoung with his belt or hand. He even hit Hayoung with his Soju bottle just because Hayoung didn’t give him money. I didn’t know about this until one day, I plan to visit her at her own house because she didn’t come to the school for about a week. When I arrive at her house, the door was ajar. I call her for a few times but she didn’t answer back. So I walk in and the house was mess and smell. Then I walk further and saw Hayoung bleeding on her head, past out beside a broken bottle. I panic and quickly bring her to the hospital.-”

Oh My God! That’s horrible. Now that makes sense why she scared with alcohol drink and a person call man. Hayoung, how did you survive all this?

“- When we arrive at the hospital, the doctor told me that she’s fine because she was brought immediately to the hospital and didn’t waste time to call the ambulance. You should look at Hayoung’s condition that time. It was so bad and her face was swollen. When she wakes up, she saw me next to her and she starts panic. I told her to cool down and force her to tell me. She didn’t want to in the first place but I told her to tell me so that I can help her. She still said no and said that if anyone knows about this, her dad will hit her worst then this. Can you imagine how worst can her father go. Because when you see her condition that time, you will think that the worst his father did to her. Her eyes, lips, cheek was swollen. Her forehead had cuts. Her hand and feet was full with bruises. Then I told her that no one will know if she tells me. And she did because she believes in me. Did you know why her father hit her?”

I shook my head.

“Just for fun. He did blame Hayoung for her mother’s death but then day by day, it became a habit. It’s a must to hit Hayoung every single day. Just to satisfied herself. She tries to run once, but fail. Because his dad know where she school at. Which she didn’t expect that. That’s why yesterday; she acted like that because she can’t bear a smell of any alcohol. If she smells any alcohol, she will act like that. It’s her trauma. She will lock herself and cry. Yesterday was quiet fine because normally she will hit her head on the wall or do anything to harm herself. My parents know about this and ask her to report to the police but she didn’t want to. Why? Because she’s scared if his dad will be bail or come out from the hospital, she will die or her dad will hit her in worst way you can think of. That’s why when my dad was transferring here; I ask mom if I can bring Hayoung with us because his dad can’t find her here. Mom and dad agree and I told her that. She didn’t even think and just grab the chance. She thanks my parents and still does. That’s why I wanted you to make sure you really love her before I can hand her to you. Look, Sehun, Hayoung is phobia with any guy who tries to be near her. But I was quick surprise because she didn’t cry or act differently yesterday or any other day that when you and the other near her.”

I frown and ask “What do you mean by that?”

“Hayoung that you know who just look uncomfortable around you is new. Because, when a guy try to talk or even say hi, she will start crying and start tantrum. She will cry and cover her ears and will repeat I’m sorry. Until you walk away. When I saw you talk to her at the hall that day, I was quick shock to see she greet you back and didn’t show any changes. She even said hi back to you which is a shock to me. So now, you mister, I really hope you tell me truth that your really love her and promise to take care of her. Because if not, I’m sorry. I have to kill you.”

I smile and said “I’m telling you the truth. But I can’t do this alone. I need your help, Arvin. She won’t talk to me if we are just alone and she will feel really uncomfortable.”

“Then I’ll help you, Sehun. But I’m telling you this earlier. It’s going to take a time and we will go slowly. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, I do.” I said. Even the truth is, I don’t want it. But Hayoung have a very bad past and I have to agree.

Then he stands up and said “I need to go. Since I promise Hayoung that I’m going to meet her today after whatever happen yesterday.”

This is my chance to meet her. “Can I come?”

He looks at me and said “I’m not sure dude.”

“Please, Arvin. I want to meet her.”

“Fine. Let’s get going.”