HAYOUNG

I was at the back yard. Sitting by the pool and dip my leg in the pool. The music inside was getting louder and I just wanted a time alone to think about something.

I was so into looking at the stars, that I didn’t realize someone sit beside me. When I heard a water splash, I look at my side and saw Mark there looking at the stars to.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” he asks.

I nod my head and look at the stars and said “Yes it is.”

“So what are doing here all alone while the others are having fun?” He asks.

“Just, I wanted an alone moment. What about you? What are you doing here?”

“Same. I just wanted a peace moment. The music is so loud.” He said looking at the pool.

I smirk and said “Or you’re jealous because Wendy is dancing with different man.”

He looks at me in shock and asks “How did you know?”

“The way you look at her all this time. You love her don’t you?” I ask.

“I do. I love her so much that when I see her with other, I feel like killing that guy.”

“Then why didn’t you just tell her that you love her?”

“It’s not easy, Hayoung. She basically hates me. We fight a lot.”

“I don’t think she hates you.”

“What do you mean?” he asks frowning.

“If she hates you, she won’t even talk about you. Basically, I heard her saying your name every day. Try talking to her. Who knows something good will turns out.”

He smile and look back at the pool. Maybe thinking about what I said. Then suddenly he asks “What about you?”

I look at her and it’s my turn to frown. “What do you mean by that?”

“What about you’re feeling toward Sehun? I know he loves you dearly and I know you know he love you.”

“I know. But nothing can happen between us, Mark. We are like from different world.”

“What do you mean?”

I look at him and then I look at my feet which were in the pool and said “You must already know about me, Mark. I don’t have a good background. My dad is a drunker and abuser. I’ve been sold to one of his friend as if I’m a property. I didn’t have a happy memories or happy childhood. Basically I don’t deserve to be love and to love someone.”

“Can I ask you something?”

I look at him and nodded my head. He smile and ask “Do you love him? Do you have any feelings toward him?”

“I don’t know. But I feel save when I’m near him or if he hugs me. I feel peace when I heard his heart beat or if I look at him or his eyes. I feel happy when I’m with him. And I feel something that I never know exist.”

“Then you love him. The feeling that you feels toward him is love. The feeling that you never know exist is call love. Do you feel empty right away after he pulls away from the hugs or is his not near you?”

I nodded my head saying yes.

“It is love, Hayoung. That’s what I felt when I’m with Wendy. Being with someone that you feel save, is call love. Because we want to be save with the person we love. When I first feel this way, I didn’t know it was love. But I remember that my mom use to say that if you don’t sure about your feelings, just close your eyes and see whose face will appear. If it’s Sehun, means you love him. But if not, it means it’s just an attraction. Try it.”

“But Mark, do I really worth for him? With my past and my background. I don’t think I do.”

“In this life Hayoung, you don’t know you are worth it or not. You never know that until one day, someone come and show how worth it you are to yourself and to that person. If you love a person, their background will never be a problem. Because that’s what love is. Love is a pure feeling. Just think again and close your eyes. See if you really have a feeling at Sehun, or you’re just attracted. But from what I see and heard, you love him, Hayoung. Just as much as he loves you. You say you don’t have a any good memories. Than create one with the person you love. ” He said with a smile and then stands up.

“Where are you going?” I ask.

“To confess. 5 years of waiting and keeping my feelings is a long time. She need to know that I love her.” Mark said and walks away.

I look at the sky again and remember what Mark said. So I close my eyes, and wait. Just then, I saw him. I open my eyes quickly and try to close my eyes again and still saw him. I open my eyes and hold my heart that was beating fast.

Do I really love him? Whatever Mark said was true. I really feel empty if is far away from me. Being in his arm give me happiness and safety. I need Arvin, Wendy and Emma. I really need to talk to them and know my true feeling for him. And if it’s really love, I need to tell him.

I stand up and walk back in the house after wearing my heels. I try to find my friends but I found none. Then I saw Wendy and Mark walk in the house holding hand and I smile. He really did confess and I can see how happy both of them are.

So I cancel my intent and will talk with then later. I’m not going to ruin their happy moment today.

After the party, I went back home with Emma and Wendy since tomorrow we have classes early morning.

I change into my pyjamas and lie down thinking about what Mark said to me and what will I said to my friends tomorrow.

Then I went to sleep hugging a pillow and imagine it was Sehun and had the best dream ever.