SEHUN

I was walking on my way back from college and I plan to stop by at one of store to buy some drinks. When I was walking toward the store, I saw Hayoung at the cashier. Looking at her smiling sweetly make my heart flutters. That’s the first time I saw her smiling closely. She has such a beautiful smile.

I walk in the store and grab a can of soda and walk to the cashier to pay. My heart was skipping at beat.

I was lining up while looking at her smile. When it was my turn, I smile at her but her smile quickly washes off from her face and was replace with a shock face.

“Is this all?” She asks not looking at me.

“Yes. That’s all.” I said still smiling like an idiot person.

She said the amount that I need to pay and I give her my money. Our skin touches when she was taking the money and my heart stop. Just a simple touch from make my heart stop. How will my heart react if I hug her or kiss her?

“Thank you. Please do come again.” She said as a politeness.

“Oh, I’m planning on it.” I said and walk away leaving her shock.

I look back and I saw something that I don’t want to see. She looks scared. Why? Why is she so scared of me?

I was keep on thinking about that all the way home. Once I arrive at home. I walk in my room and lock myself. I throw my bag on the chair and jump on the bed. I was lying with my right arm covering my eyes and I seems like can’t get rid of Hayoung face and the way she look scared when I said that I’m planning on it.

I need help and only one person can help me. I quickly take my phone and call that person. In just two beep, she pick up.

“Hi cousin. How are you? Why are you calling me?” the person said

“I’m fine. How are you? Just, I wanted to talk to my sweet cousin.”

“Shut up Sehun. I know you won’t call me if something happen. What is it?”

“You know me so well, Namjoo noona.”

“I’m the only sister you have. Live with it. So what is it? Tell me.”

“I don’t know how to say this.” I sigh.

“Sehun is everything fine there. Is aunty and uncle okay? Are you okay? Did something happen?” concern can be heard in her voice.

“Yes everything is fine. Mom and dad are fine.”

“Then, what is it?”

We were quiet for awhile. Then Namjoo noona said “Sehun, is it about a girl?”

That’s why I love her so much. Because she know me so well.

“How did you know?”

“Sehun, I’ve been your sister like from forever. And we are very close to each other. You always come to me if you have problem. So tell me. Who is this girl?”

I take a deep breath and let it go. Once I calm myself down I told her about Hayoung.

“Hayoung. She so lovely, beautiful and sweet girl. But she doesn’t talk to strangers or any guy in the school. The first time I saw her was when I bump into her. She looks so beautiful that time. I even stalk her for three weeks in a row.”

“Okay. Then what is the problem?”

“The problem is I try to talk to her and know her. But she keeps on running away from me. She even looks scared if she’s around a guy. I can see it.”

“She’s just like me.” Namjoo noona said.

Sh*t. Sehun. What was that? You make her remember.

“Noona, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you remember.”

She chuckle and said “Sehun, relax. It didn’t affect me anything. I was just saying she is like me. Look, if a girl acting like that, she must have a dark past with a guy and maybe anyone. That’s the reasons why she’s acting like that. You need to take it really slow.

Sehun, even you have a bad past with a girl. I remember coaxing you about your girlfriend before you move there. And you told me you will never fall in love because you thought girls like to lie. Did you realize that this is the first time you talk about girl with so much adoration? Like after 5 years, my crazy cousin, Oh Sehun is talking about a girl with me. Can I ask you something, Sehun?”

“What noona? You know you can ask me anything?”

“Do you love her?”

“I don’t know. Maybe yes. Maybe no. That’s why I call you.”

“How long have you known her?”

“This week will be my 3^rd week and we barely talk. And I can’t fall in love with a person I bump into.”

“You are just like a guy I know.” She said in her slow voice. I bet she didn’t want me to hear it but I did.

“Which guy? Noona, is there any guy disturbing you. If there is, tell me. I’ll fly to Korea and hit him in the face.” I ask in concern.

“No. No one is disturbing me. Don’t worry. Back to the topic. Why can’t you fall in love with a girl you just meet? Sehun, you always say you believe in love at the first sight. What happen to that?”

“What happen? It vanishes because a girl that I use to love betrays me.”

“Sehun, you told me that not all guy are same. Now I’m going to say the same thing. Not all girls are same. And about Hye Jin. Sehun, you didn’t fall in love with her in a first sight. You guys were friends before going into relationship. Sehun, I can’t that for you. Because it’s your feelings. Your heart. Not mine. You need to ask yourself about that. But I can help something. Okay imagine she’s walking with a good looking guy and she’s laughing with him. Do you feel jealous?”

“Yes, I do.”

“When you go to sleep at night, do you think about her?”

“Yes I do.”

“Do you dream about her?”

“Every day. Since the day I saw her.”

“Do you feel like you want to protect her?”

“Yes, I do.”

“In my opinion, you love her Sehun. You just don’t know because you just meet her. And you thought that it’s just a stupid feeling that will go away soon. Sehun, you even stalk her. If a guy stalks a girl, it means that the guy loves her. Remember Baekhyun and Bomi that I told you about.”

“Yes. Baekhyun use to stalk her.”

“Why?”

“Because he loves Bomi noona.”

“There you go. Sehun, ask your heart again. If you love her or not. Because for me, you do.

“Thank you, noona. It helps a lot.”

“No problem. Remember Sehun, I’m always there for you.”

“I know. Thank you, noona. Goodnight. Bye.”

“Goodnight. Bye.”

Then we hang up. I walk to the bathroom to take a cold shower. Once I’m done, I wear my sweatpants and lie down on the bed. I felt asleep thinking about Hayoung.

HAYOUNG

I was on my way back home after working thinking about this guy name Sehun. I don’t know why I am even thinking about him. Why is he disturbing me? Why he keeps following me? I hope Arvin already clear everything about him. I really hate if man keeps on following me like that. And what does he mean by I’m planning on it.

But hey, admit it, you like it. You think his handsome and cute. You didn’t felt uncomfortable when his near you. You like it because you somehow felt save when his near you.

No, I don’t. I replay my heart. Why am I even listening to you and answering your question.

Once I walk in my apartment, I take a shower and get ready to go to Emma’s house. It’s good that she leave in the same apartment and just a floor away. I grab my things and walk out the room and lock the door. Once I confident that I lock the door, I walk to the lift and wait for it.

When the lift door opens, I walk in and press Emma floor button. When I arrive in front of Emma apartment, I ring the bell. The door open and it was Wendy.

“Hi Hayoung. Come in.”

“Hi Wendy. Sorry I’m late.”

“Nah. You’re on time. Even I just arrive.”

I walk in and Emma greets me. “Hi Hayoung. Welcome to my home sweet home.”

“Hi Emma. I didn’t know we leave in the same apartment and same block. Who do you live with?”

“Wendy. I leave with her. I know right. Me too. Since I know you leave her to, it’s easier for us to have girls time.” Emma said.

“So shall we start now?” Wendy said.

“Yes.” I and Emma said together.

After for few hours, we take a break since our eyes start to hurt looking at the laptop.

“I’ll need to go to the toilet for awhile.” I told them.

“Okay. You know the way.” Emma said.

I nod and walk to the toilet.

Once I done my job, I walk out from the bathroom and walk back to the couch but stop in the middle when I saw a picture of Emma with the guys and Wendy. But what caught her interest is Emma picture with Jake, Mark and Sehun.

“So Emma, how long do you know these guys? Looking from the picture you guys look close.”

Emma who was in the kitchen turns to look at her and said “I know Mark since I was in Mark for 10 years now and Sehun and Jake for 5 years.”

“Wow, that long. How did you know them? And you look quiet close to Jake.”

“Jake is her boyfriend.” Wendy said.

Now that tells everything. No wonder they are so close.

Emma just chuckle. “I know Mark since I was in primary school. We were same class friends and Mark just transfer from Hong Kong that day.”

“You guys are same class friend. Aren’t you younger then Mark?”

“Nope. We are in the same age. Wendy and I had some problem so we start collage late.”

“Ohw. So you guys are older than me.” I didn’t know that. It was kind a surprise to know that.

“Yeah we are. But don’t put any gap okay Hayoung. And calling us unnie or sis is big no. Okay.” Wendy said.

I chuckle and nod. “How about Jake and Sehun? And how long have you Jake been in relationship?”

“I know Sehun and Jake from Mark. They were Mark best friend in secondary school. This year will be our 3^rd year.”

Wow. That long. Impressive.

“How about Wendy and you?” I ask.

“We are childhood friends. I know her since I was 4.” Emma said.

“That means you guys must fight a lot.” I said.

“Yes. Your right. But that what keep us close.” Emma said.

Looking at them, I felt jealous. I always wanted a girl friend. Just like Wendy and Emma. It’s not that I’m not happy with my favorite friend Arvin. Is just that his man and sometime I need a girl friend to talk with.

“So Wendy, from the entire picture here, I don’t see any of your picture with the guys accept Jake.”

“Because I don’t go out with them a lot.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Because she hates Mark.” Emma said.

“You hate Mark. Why? He looks like a good guy.”

“He always disturb me and messing with me. Every single time if we meet.” Wendy said in her annoyed tone.

“I told her that Mark does that because he likes her. But Wendy doesn’t believe it.” Emma said walking out from the kitchen bringing some food for us.

“What? I don’t believe that. He just wants to fight with me.” Wendy said.

“Yeah, up to you Wendy. So stop about us. How long do you know Arvin? You lucky that your friend is one of the hot guys in the college. Even I think his hot.”

I just laugh. How will they react if they know that Arvin is a gay? “I know Arvin for about 5 years now. We’ve been friends since in Korea. He told me if he want to follow him to Philippines and continue study here. So I grab the chance and say yes.”

“Wow. So you know almost everything about him.”

I nod my head and take a full spoon of my food and eat it.

“So you and Arvin just a friend. Nothing special.”

“Nothing special. We are just friends.”

“Do you like somehow have feeling for him. At least a little.”

I laugh and said “No. Never. Not even a bit.”

“Sehun must be happy to hear that.” Wendy said.

I choke out my food and start coughing. Emma quickly gives me a glass of water and I drink it.

“Are you okay, Hayoung?”

What does she mean by Sehun must be happy to hear that?

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.”

“What happen?”

“Nothing.” I said and look at Wendy and ask “What do you mean by Sehun will be happy to hear that?”

“Yeah. Come on Hayoung. Didn’t you realize it how Sehun look at you? That jerk likes you.” Wendy said.

“No he doesn’t. You guys just thought that.”

“No Hayoung. Wendy is right. I saw it by my own eyes. He likes you. He never asks a girl’s name before. You’re the first and he really interested in you. and the way he looks at ou is different.” Emma taking Wendy side.

“I don’t believe you guys. Even if he does, tell him to forget about it. Because I’m not interested.”

“Why? Are you a lesbian?” Emma asks nonchalantly.

“No, I’m not. Just, I’m not interested. I have my own reasons. I can’t tell you yet.”

“Yet? So when are you planning to tell.”

“I don’t know. Maybe never.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s just a secret I want to keep. Anyway, I just know you. Maybe it’s early to tell. Let’s get back to work.” I said. Trying to change the topic.

I never like talking about me and my past. I just hope until I die, no one will know about this.

When were done doing our work, I said bye and went back to my apartment.

After getting change into my pajamas, I lie down and try to sleep but I couldn’t. My mind keeps on thinking about Sehun. Why am I even thinking about him? At last I fall asleep with him in my mind.