A/N So this is all from I.M's point of view and I'm starting it from the official break up. So you'll get to see how he handled it a little better.

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"Changkyun... I think... I think we should break up..." Those words hit him as hard as one of the guys kicking him in the stomach. Changkyun hadn't ever really known that this kind of pain would hit him so physically so quickly. Wasn't he supposed to still be in shock? He didn't hear whether or not Chess actually said goodbye, he just knew that when he managed to pull the phone from his ear that the line had been dead for a while. He stood on the balcony for a long while after he put away his phone simply trying to process how to deal with the pain. He had no idea what to do.

"Hey Changkyunnie.... Are you crying? What the hell happened?" Shownu had made his way out to the balcony to check on him since he had been out there for over an hour now. He and the other boys had been worried about him.

"Aniyo. Mian, hyung. I don't know what happened to me," Changkyun could have kicked himself for not just telling him the truth. I mean, it was Shownu, he was Appa, if anyone could have helped him in that moment it probably would have been him. Despite himself though, Changkyun continued to deny that anything was wrong simply saying he must be sleep deprived and heading back into the dorm to his bunk where he curled up with his Baymax plush and silently cried himself to sleep.

The next two weeks he had been so busy with preparing for the tour that Changkyun hadn't even had the opportunity to think about the fact that he had been broken up with. He didn't have time to think about the hollowness he felt everytime he checked his phone and didn't have a message from Chess. He didn't have time. Not until he was falling asleep. Everytime he would close his eyes all he saw was her face, the two little jeweled studs below her bottom lip, the way her blue eyes sparkled when she smiled, her cute little nose that held the bull ring in a different color everyday. He saw her smiling and laughing and blushing. He saw the way that she would curl into his side when she would fall asleep watching her favorite horror movie that they had watched a hundred times. He saw her in the exact moment that he had fallen in love with her, wide eyed and on the verge of tears with the most genuine smile he had ever seen on her face. He would always hear her too. Hear her calling him a pabo and laughing. He heard their whispered conversations when they were at the others dorm late into the night. He heard her joking with him. And worst of all he heard her singing. He heard her singing her favorite American songs, the songs she thought he wouldn't hear because he was asleep.

Every night he was subjected to even more torture than the night before and yet he still didn't tell anyone. When he came back from the studio to find that the guys were watching the RI5E episode of Weekly Idol, he sat and watched with the rest of them. He watched as she denied that they were together. He watched as her smile faltered, not enough for anyone else to tell but just enough that he knew she was putting on her show smile. He watched as the sparkle left her eyes and she denied everything. It wasn't until the guys started telling him that it was okay, that it was just for the sake of a public image, that he went to his bunk. He had meant to seek solace in the silent room but only found himself feeling the pain of the break up anew knowing that only a few hours after that had been filmed had they officially broken up. He heard the door open but simply buried himself deeper into his blanket and pillows clutching Baymax to him.

"She didn't want to say that. I know you could see it in her face. She wanted to tell everyone. She just can't. She's too worried about everyone else that could get for it. I think... I think she really... really loves you man," Jooheon's words were definitely unexpected. They hadn't really talked very much since he had gotten together with Chess but he knew that Jooheon not only cared for Chess but for him too. It didn't matter though, Jooheon didn't know that they were over and Changkyun definitely wasn't going to be the one to tell him that.  "Don't be too hard on her. She had a really rough life before she got here. I know you know the whole story but... but you should remember that. She wouldn't have said that if she wasn't trying to protect someone. She acts like she's this impenetrable wall of strength when she really isn't. She's going to need you now more than ever. So don't be too hard on her."

Jooheon left with a sigh when he didn't get a response from Changkyun. He wasn't aware of the fact that the younger boy had broken into tears, using all his might to not break into wails and lash out at everything around him for how stupid he had been. How had he not realized how hard this was for her? How had he needed Jooheon to tell him how much Chess was suffering for them? Why didn't he just it up and deal with the lies a little longer? Why was he such a pabo? 

That was the first night he hadn't dreamed of her.

He dreamed of Jooheon and Giriboy. He dreamed of them yelling. Not really anything specific but simply yelling at him. Without knowing what they were saying he knew it was about Chess. He tried to plead his case. He tried to tell them what happened. He tried with everything he was but they wouldn't listen. He woke up with a start when their yelling became them physically hitting him. Changkyun looked at his phone and realized it was four in the morning. It was no use going back to sleep. They were supposed to be at the studio at six, so he simply got up and dressed to go for a run. He wasn't generally the most athletic or the happiest to work out especially so early in the morning but he couldn't sit still. When he had gotten out the door he put in his earbuds and started running. Changkyun had no real idea where he was going, he just knew he needed to run.

After a solid forty five minutes of running he finally stopped to catch his breath and take in his surroundings. When he looked around he noticed that he was in front of Chess's dorm. He had subconciously come here and now all he wanted to do was make sure she was okay. He looked up and saw that her bedroom light was on and almost moved to the other side of the street when he heard a door open. Instead he pressed himself to the security wall hoping she wouldn't see him. Changkyun wasn't sure how he knew but he knew it was Chess. His suspicions were confirmed when he heard her curse in English at her lighter like she always would when it didn't work the first time. Changkyun felt his lips tug into a smile, at least she sounded like she was alright. While it hurt him to think that she was okay when he was feeling so horrible, he was genuinely happy to know that she was okay. He continued on his run not hearing her break into sobs a few moments later.

Changkyun hadn't really thought that the tour would be as hard as it was. It was only a week into it and it was like a living hell for him. He should have been happy, he was doing what he had wanted since he became a trainee but with a tour unfortunately came a lot more down time. Riding on planes, waiting for equipment to be set up, getting his hair and make up done, all of this was time when he was left with his thoughts and they always circled around Chess. He couldn't manage to get her out of his head for more than the time that he was doing sound check or performing and even then it was hard because he couldn't help but wish she would have been there for at least one of their concerts like they had talked about before the break up. Everytime he looked into the crowd and saw people holding signs with his name he couldn't help but wish she was one of them even though he knew she wouldn't be. Everytime he felt his heart break just a little bit more. He knew that the guys weren't happy with him but he just couldn't find it in him to put on a good show. Everything hurt.

When they were finally on their way to Bangkok, it had been a greuling trip to the airport when they were getting ready to leave China, Shownu handed him a tablet and told him he might want to watch it. 'It' was a special report by SBS about Chess. He almost handed it back but Shownu wasn't having any of it and made him watch it. The interview was pretty simple and didn't last very long but Chess had said everything. She had finally told the public about her past. Every horrible detail, every sad moment, and Changkyun was floored. Why had she done that? Wouldn't it be hard for her later? He couldn't help but feel a little bit proud when she said that she had done this all for him. Sure, Chess never said his name but he knew she was talking about him. At that moment he would have done whatever it took to be with her right then and just hold her, let her know that everything was okay. He couldn't though and he knew that, it was the really unfortunate part of their career choice. He had to go to Bangkok and he had to perform tomorrow and he'd have to wait until he was back in Korea to tell her how much he loved her and how sorry he was for everything.

Changkyun's impatience showed throughout his time at the hotel and even during sound check the next day but what was really unnerving to him was how often Shownu seemed to be checking his phone and giving him worried glances. It was almost like he was hiding something. It didn't matter though because that night was the best performance that Changkyun had given the entire tour and he had worn himself out so much that when they got back to the hotel he had gone straight to change and lay down in bed. Yeah, he was sweaty and gross but he would just shower in the morning and sleep for now. That was his plan. Until Shownu grabbed him out of the room.

When Shownu told him that Chess was supposed to be there and that she had been in an accident that landed her in the hospital, Changkyun had been ready to run out of the room and catch the next flight back home. He barely registered that he only had two days and had to be back on time before he was sprinting down the hall. He wasn't sure what he would do if something irreversible had happened to Chess but he knew that it wouldn't be good. He had to go see her. He had to tell her he loved her. He just had too. He wasn't sure he would ever get over it if he lost her forever, not when he had planned on making sure that he got her back and never let her go again. Not after everything she had done to make things better between them. Not when he had been such a wimp that he couldn't even call her to apologize for being a pabo. No. He wouldn't let that happen. She had to know what she meant to him.

She had to know that he loved her.

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A/N I'm really proud of this chapter honestly. I really love it! We're not too far off from the ending of this story either so only a little bit longer.... As always Thank You for Reading! Kamsamnida!