In the month and a half that followed their break up, Chess kept herself busy with anything and everything she could. She had been on Two Days One Night, Running Man, and even Gag Concert, she had began to take piano lessons so she could learn to write her own music, and she had gotten herself involved in a charity to help fund research for women centric diseases such as Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, PMDD, Endometriosis, and a long list of others. She had made sure that she never had a waking moment that wasn't filled with something to keep her brain occupied. Except for today. Dae Suk and Sajangnim had ordered her to take a break saying that she was working far too hard and that if it was that important for her to do something then she could write some new lyrics.

She had been avoiding lyrics. That meant letting her mind flow onto paper. It meant admitting that she was hurt and vulnerable again. Admitting that she was still hurting. She couldn't do that but just sitting in the dorm by herself was killing her. She decided maybe going to the company would help. Maybe she could get away with just singing. She pulled herself together and out of her dorm deciding to take her Jeep to avoid any potential press that was still hanging around with questions about her relationship status. She drove in silence and parked in her spot quickly trying to make sure no one saw her. She might still get scolded for not taking the full day off. Chess ran up the stairs as quickly as she could since she had decided against the elavator and soon found herself on the fourth floor. As she was walking down the hall she heard someone in one of the empty studios curse and she suddenly found her distraction. She didn't even knock when she entered knowing that even if they weren't alone her presence wouldn't bother anyone here.

"Hey there Giri. Haven't seen you in a while," Chess gave him her best attempt at a genuine smile though it didn't completely reach her eyes.

"That would be because I was avoiding you. Still am honestly," Giri's blunt words stung but she knew she probably deserved it. "Are you just bored because your boyfriend's on tour?"

Giri turned to look at her through his bangs and saw her visibly flinch at his question. He let a smirk crawl on his face, it may have been petty but it made him feel better.

"He's... He's not... Not anymore..." Giri watched as all the strength left Chess and ran over to grab her arm, trying to help steady her.

"What the hell happened?" Giri couldn't help but ask, no matter how mad he was she was still one of the few people he deeply cared about.

"We broke up... After I had to deny the relationship," Chess could feel the lump forming and was trying her best to stop it. It had been over a month! Even if she hadn't really thought about it a two week relationship shouldn't have had her this hurt for this long.

"What did that pabo do?" Giri fully pulled her to his chest and hugged her trying to quell the tears that he saw in her eyes.

"I should have just told them we were together. I shouldn't have covered it up. It's all my fault. I'm so stupid," Chess let her tears soak into the shoulder of Giri's shirt and wrapped her arms around him. "Mianhe... I'm so stupid... I made the wrong choice."

"Aniyo... You didn't... You really ing like him, obviously. If you didn't I'm sure you wouldn't be crying like this. How long have you been like this? I heard you've been trying to overwork yourself recently," As much as it pained him to admit it, she had made the right choice. He wasn't sure he could have ever made her feel like this, not that he wanted to make her sad but she really did care about I.M if she was still this much of a mess.

"It's been a little over a month. I'm just so scared to stop and have nothing but my own thoughts. If I don't work until the point of exhaustion my brain betrays me. I see his face everytime I try to sleep and all the good things. We were only together for two weeks... What's wrong with me Giri? Am I really this pathetic?" Chess tightened her grip on Giri a little more almost afraid that he would leave her too. She was having quite the issue with her abandonment issues since the break up.

"Nothing's wrong with you and you're not pathetic. He's a pabo. There's no other explanation. I bet he's even realized how stupid his decision was by now," Giri her hair and Chess only sobbed a bit harder into his shoulder.

"I'm the one that decided to break up. He couldn't lie anymore and I couldn't go back on what I had just said so I broke it off. We couldn't have worked through this. We just had completely different priorities. I know it was the right thing to do but why does it hurt so much?"

"Because you really like him. Because you genuinely want to be with him. That's why it hurts. He's a pabo for not enduring and you... you're a pabo for letting go too early. I know that you're scared of people knowing you. I know you're scared of letting people in but you're going to have to. You're an idol. Eventually everyone's going to know everything about you. Including your past. You have to remember that, it's one of the sacrifices we have to make for this life," Chess felt his words like a smack to the face. Hadn't she told Changkyun the same thing when she was trying to convince him to just bear with it for a couple more months?

"I'm so stupid... I should have just said we were together... I should have just come out with it.... Then he'd have stayed and I would feel like this... I'm so stupid," Chess wasn't getting any better and she knew it but at least for the first time in a long time she was able to say everything she was feeling. Maybe that's what she needed to heal. Giri just held her and rubbed circles into her back while she cried into his shoulder. There were no longer any words that could comfort her and he knew it so they stayed quiet until she finally calmed down and got herself together. "Thank you for still being my best friend. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I think I really did need you this time though."

"You always need me. And I'll always ing be there. Mad or not I still care about you and you're my best friend too. I'm not going to say that I want to hear about your relationship problems but I'll always be there if you need me to listen. I don't like not being the only man in your life but I guess I have to accept that now huh?" Giri chuckled a bit and opened his mouth to say more when Chess's phone went off. Giri got a weird look on his face like a mixture of pride and sadness when he heard that it was Rush by Monsta X. Chess tried to dig it out as quickly as possible but her tight pants made it very difficult.

"Shownu? What's up?" Chess had barely finished speaking before Shownu was going into a rant.

"I don't know what the hell happened to you two, hell no one does, but you need to fix it now! I'm sick of him moping around! He's been really ty for the past couple weeks and he won't let anyone know what's going on! We can't even perform to the best of our ability because we're practically having to carry him around on stage! Whatever fight you guys are in please, just please, talk to him and fix it! It's killing us!" Shownu sounded completely exhausted and Chess was certain she had never heard the younger boy curse, especially not to her.

"Shownu, I'm sorry... We broke up. A little over a month ago. I can't fix this."

"Yes you can! Call him! He needs you! Whatever made you two break up I'm sure he's willing to fix it now! Please!" Chess could feel the tears reforming in her eyes and Giri took her phone from her ear and walked into the recording booth of the studio.

"Shownu. Yeah it's me. Yeah, it's pretty bad here too. Yeah. I don't think it'll happen right now. Over the phone isn't such a good idea. Yeah. I think I can work that out. Yeah. Yeah. No problem man. You have no idea but this... this is much worse than just letting go. Yeah. See you soon," Giri hung up and walked out where Chess was standing just staring at him. "Come on let's go get food. We've got a lot to discuss."

Chess nodded and put her phone back in her pocket while Giri lead them out of the studio and locked it. She was curious about what Giri and Shownu talked about but at the same time it wasn't something she really wanted to know. It wasn't something she could really focus on at the moment.

"So what do you want to eat?" Giri looked at her and noticed she still hadn't managed to recover her smile since she had stopped crying. Though at his comment the corners of her lips tilted upwards.

"I'm not even really hungry anymore," Giri rolled his eyes and looked over at her.

"Yah! That's bull and you know it. Okay. We're going to get sushi. Let's go," Chess hadn't even paid attention to the fact that they had made it to the lobby and were about to exit the front doors until the cool autumn air hit her.

"We should have taken my car. What if there's press?" Chess put on a manufactured smile as she saw the few camera men near the front gate just to make sure she didn't break her character.

"Since when have we ever cared about them? Just ignore them. We'll be fine," Giri dug out his cigarettes and offered one to Chess who seemed to have forgotten hers at the dorms. They walked through the gates puffing on their cigarettes and were bombarded as soon as the press saw them.

"Cheshire, did you lie about your relationship with I.M?"

"Are you trying to protect his career?"

"Are you having an affair with Giriboy now?"

"When are you going to tell us the truth about your past?"

"What's so important to keep hidden?"

Giri simply grabbed onto Chess's arm and pulled her away from the press, flipping them off as he went. They seemed to lose intrest when they didn't even bother to say two words to them and went back to their stations by the gate as Giri and Chess headed towards their favorite sushi restaurant.

"Okay, so when do you want to go see him?" Once they were about a block away and they knew the press hadn't followed them Giri spoke.

"I can't. There's nothing I can do that will fix this. There's nothing I can say that will take back the lies that had to be told," Chess didn't like that he seemed to think this was so easy. Everything about this situation was just ed up and she couldn't keep going pretending that it wasn't.

"Yeah you can. Why don't you tell people? About your past? I'm sure if he saw that you did that then he'd see that you're really trying. I think he'd understand that and then you could fix it," Giri had a point. Chess hated that he did but she still wasn't sure she could do that. She had hidden away everything for so long that she wasn't sure she wanted anyone to know anymore. It didn't help that she had no idea how to tell people without it getting misconstrued. "I have a friend that works over at SBS. I think that he'd be more than willing to cover it for you. He's trust worthy too. He's not going to make it out to be something it's not."

Chess was silent for a while trying to consider if this would be enough of an effort for her to win back Changkyun's heart. She wasn't sure that she could do it if it was only going to be a wasted effort but Changkyun had always seemed to understand how sensitive and hard talking about her past was. Maybe it would be enough to get him to try one more time.

"Okay. I'll do it."

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A/N Well... This is still kind of painful but maybe it'll get better? I honestly have no idea where this story is going exactly but I am hoping for a happy ending. Really hoping. As always Thank You for Reading! Kamsamnida!