"When I was still 20 I met a man that was the love of my life. We were together for four months before he proposed and I accepted. We were so happy. We had decided to move out of state so that he could accept this really amazing job and were staying with my parents. Since it was just after Christmas my Oppa and his wife were staying with them too so the house was completely filled. We had been having an amazingly smooth Christmas given that our family could barely even be together in a room for fifteen minutes before we started to annoy each other. On the last night my fiancee and I were staying, it had been a long day and I was restless so I took a walk around the neighborhood. It was late and dark but I just felt this urge to go out that was just not ignorable. As I walked around the neighborhood I got this weird feeling that something was very wrong and turned to go back to the house. When I got there the front door was kicked in and there were a couple loud gunshots. I ran into the house not even thinking about it and found my Appa in the foyer clutching his side that was covered in so much blood it looked black. He looked at me and said 'At least I still got to protect my Babydoll.' Then he closed his eyes. He died right in front of me. I screamed for my fiancee and my Oppa and my Eomma and none of them came. I ran around the body of the man who had broken in trying to find someone, anyone. Every room I went into there was just blood either from Appa chasing after the man or from where he had shot and killed my entire family. They were all dead. The last room I went to was the room that my fiancee and I had been staying in. All I really remember was that I saw him and dropped to the floor and screamed until I entirely lost my voice. Some of the neighbors had woken up to the gun shots and called the police though and I remember them having to literally drag me out of the house because I couldn't make my legs work. I was just in so much shock. They asked a million questions a million different ways. I couldn't answer, I could barely breathe. The EMTs showed up along with the cororner and took away the bodies and looked me over deciding that I was physically okay. I don't even know how but my friend Christina found out and came to take me away when they finally released me. The investigation took weeks before they finally decided that the man who broke in was the cause and that I had no part in it. At one point they had actually accused me of conspiring with him. They thought that I had organized my family's murder. I didn't even attend the funerals. My family's friends did everything and all I did was hand over the money. I couldn't look at anyone for months. Once the house had been cleaned and the carpets and furniture replaced I just stayed in it. I didn't leave the house for about six months. I had holed myself in the house trying to figure out what to do. I spent the entire time teaching myself Korean and preparing myself to just leave. I couldn't stay anymore everything hurt to look at. Once I had finally passed every test I could find online for checking my fluency I bought a one way ticket to Seoul. I packed one bag worth of clothes and left a note for my friends. I left Raleigh and I never looked back. I bought everything I needed to live here and was staying in hotels until I auditioned at Starship. I still don't know why sajangnim decided to take me but he did and that's how I got here. That's why I couldn't talk about my past. It's taboo enough that I'm white let alone that I had been engaged and even worse that I had practically been witness to my family's murder. I thought I was going to die after I lost them and I couldn't talk to anyone about it. The day of the second mission was the three year anniversary. I actually broke down for the first time since I had left. I'm always in a bad mood that day but it was just so much worse watching people be so happy and hopeful that I lost it...."

Cheshire was crying. Tears flowed freely from her eyes and she couldn't have stopped them even if she tried. Shownu stood and walked around the table to Chess where he immediately pulled her up into a hug squeezing her tightly to his chest. She almost couldn't breathe from how hard he was squeezing but she didn't care. This was the first time in over three years that she had told someone about what had happened and she was just happy to know that he still wanted to comfort her. 

After what felt like hours of Shownu squeezing her and rubbing her back he stepped back with his hands still on her shoulders looking into her now dry eyes.

"I'm so sorry that you went through something that terrrible. I can't even imagine it. You shouldn't be ashamed of it though. You weren't to blame. It wasn't your fault," Shownu lifted his hand to her cheek and rubbed it gently with his thumb. "The guys will feel the same way so don't worry. We'll always be here for you."

"Thank you Shownu. That means more to me than you could ever know," Chess smiled up at him before engulfing him in another quick hug.

"Well on a lighter subject, you said that you made your choice?" Shownu smirked at her wiggling his eyebrows a bit making Chess laugh.

"I guess so... I'm just worried about what it will do to my relationship with the other two and even worse their own relationships," Chess sat back down as Shownu made his way back to his seat.

"I don't think too much will change. Sure, the other guys will be hurt for a bit but they'll come around eventually. I'm pretty sure they'd be fine with each other too. It just might take some time," Shownu sent her a thoughtful glance before quirking his eyebrow in a gesture that clearly said 'just tell me already' as she took a sip of her now lukewarm coffee.

"Uggghhh... Arasseo! I think I chose I.M. I'm not entirely sure why but while I was thinking about the kiss that almost happened before you walked in and all the times that Giriboy and I would cuddle, I just couldn't stop seeing I.M's face and I kept thinking about the night that I first spent at the dorms with you guys. I just can't stop thinking about him anymore," Chess slouched in her chair a bit, exasperated at the entirty of the situation she had been put into because of the boys.

"When are you going to tell him?"

"I don't even know... I think after he hears about my past. That way he still has time to change his mind," Chess ran her index finger over the side of her mug in a nervous gesture.

"Ha... That wouldn't be enough to sway him. I'm pretty sure you could have said that you were Satan himself and the kid would still be in love with you," Shownu shook his head increduously. Chess couldn't help but giggle a bit.

"I guess it'll be pretty soon then."

Chess and Shownu bid each other goodbye not long after and Chess made her way to the practice room figuring that maybe she could dance a bit before she went home. Once she arrived she placed her phone on the auxilary cord and chose a playlist. She danced for six songs before she decided she deserved a break. She sat down on the floor after turning off the music and grabbing a bottle of water. She startled when the door opened, looking up to find I.M smiling back at her.

"Why do I always seem to find you on the floor?"

"Because even with all the abuse I suffer I just can't find it in me to stay mad at it," I.M chuckled coming to sit next to her. "You know some people would find it weird that you talk like that I.M."

"I'm the 4D member anyways apparently, what's it matter?" Chess giggled shaking her head at the boy as he looked towards her. "I'm curious. Why do you always call me by my stage name instead of my real name?"

"Why do you call me by mine?"

"I don't know your real name," I.M looked at her slightly confused.

"Same here."

"Surely it was written on all those cards you had on No.Mercy."

"It was but I ignored it. I figured if you wanted me to call you something different you'd tell me."

"Changkyun," Chess looked at him and furrowed her eyebrows. "My name is Changkyun. If no one else in the world does, I want you to call me by my name."

"I like it. It's cute," There was a pause in the conversation for a moment as Chess thought over whether or not now was the time. She couldn't help but feel like it was too early but she wasn't sure she'd get another chance like this anytime soon. Without wasting another second she spoke up. "Changkyun?"

"Ne?" He looked over and grinned at her as she said his name. It made her blush a bit if she was honest, he was just so damn cute.

"I have something I need to tell you," She was a bit nervous but it couldn't end that badly right?

"You can tell me anything, Cheshire," She saw the sincereity in his eyes and figured it'd be easier to just get it over with.

"I'm going to tell you about my past. Back before I was Cheshire. I'm going to tell you about Scarlett," With that the flood gates opened and she repeated everything she had just told Shownu a few hours before. She didn't cry this time though. She was amazed at how much she felt like just telling someone had helped to, even if only slightly, start healing the scars on her heart. Changkyun listened intently and didn't make one single move until she was done speaking. When she had finished though Changkyun threw his arms around her and pulled her into his lap to hug her to him more fully.

"I'm so so sorry. I don't even know what to say. You're an amazing person," He took his face out of her shoulder to face her. "I don't think I could have lived through that. You really are amazing Scarlett."

Her heart skipped a beat hearing him call her that. She thought it would have felt foreign coming from someone who hadn't known her before the accident but somehow his voice saying her name just felt so familiar and so much like home. It made her blush but she still wasn't ready for people to call her that again.

"Oh I'm sorry. Do you not want me to call you that? I get it. I'm sorry Chess," He stumbled over his words a bit realizing what he had said. Chess just looked at him and slowly shook her head.

"I'm just not ready for everyone to call me that again. It's hard to not associate it with everything that happened," Chess moved out of his lap and sat across from him. Now it was time for the awkward part and she really didn't think she was ready for it at all. "I still have something to tell you though."

"Hmm? What is it?" Changkyun looked over at her with a concerned look, worried that what she said wasn't even the worst of it.

"Changkyun, I like you."

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A/N okay so this is kind of short compared to the other chapters but honestly I had a bit of writers block on it not to mention that I had to drive five hours up to Baltimore on Saturday and drive back that same night so I'm a bit exhausted too. I hope you all enjoyed it at least though. As always Thank You for Reading! Kamsamnida!