Cheshire woke up in her own bed after tossing and turning all night. She couldn't stop thinking of what Shownu had told her before she left last night. All three of them liked her. Jinja. She had no idea what to do about it either. Chess kept tryig to figure out whether or not she even had feelings like that for any of them. She had kept turning the idea over in her mind only switching the boys out every once in a while to see if it helped. It didn't. She couldn't possibly imagine a life without any of them being a part of it and with two of them being apart of the same group she worried that the decision she would ultimately have to make would destroy her relationship with the boys. 

Chess stared up at the ceiling for a little longer before she groaned rubbing her face with her hands. Exasperation was running through her body as she finally got up and decided to just get up and go to the studio. She'd find something to do there, maybe she'd try to record a RI5ING STAR video since she had been working on a few covers. She got ready with a pair of jean shorts and a blue muscle tank that read The Struggle Is Real pairing it with a black and white bandeaux before grabbing her sunglasses and heading towards the front door. She threw a quick goodbye over her shoulder as she slipped into her rainbows and walked out of the dorms.

Chess walked the quick five minutes to the studio, not wanting to bother with her car, and found that the press had gathered in front of the building as per usual. She really didn't have the patience for this today.

"Cheshire! Is it true that you revealed your hometown while on tour? Are you going to fill the fans in on your past?" Of course they would be asking her this. They hadn't been able to set up any kind of press conference since Chess had so adamantly opposed letting everyone in on her past so quickly. She simply sighed.

"Yes I'm from Raleigh, NC back in the States and it was our last stop on the tour before returning to prepare for our Korean tour. I still haven't decided on how much I'm going to tell the fans about my past yet so I would be really grateful if you would let me have some more time to think it over. For supporting RI5E and allowing us our privacy, kamsamnida, it means the world to us," Chess had never stopped her walk towards the building and as soon as she was at the gates and the security officers were pushing the reporters back she bowed deeply at them, hoping this would be enough to placate them for now.

Chess felt herself let out a deep sigh as she pushed the button for the floor she wanted in the elevator. That was another problem she would have to eventually deal with and it was definitely getting harder to put off. She kept mulling over what she should do about both the conflicts currently facing her when she stepped out of the elevator and turned to head to the studio to record something, anything that would help her keep her mind off the troubles in her life.

As she put her hand on the doorknob she realized that she could hear music already flowing from the speakers. That was weird. She had just seen all the girls in their living room cuddled around the TV. When she opened the door finally she tilted her head to the side and furrowed her eyebrows. Jooheon was sitting at the computer working on god only knows what. Quickly closing the door behind her she cleared to make her presence known causing Jooheon to swivel around in his chair and look at her.

"Sorry I didn't know you'd be coming in today. Sajangnim said I could use RI5E's studio since he's still trying to set up Monsta X's," Jooheon quietly explained looking more towards the floor than at Chess.

"It's ok I just came to clear my head. What are you working on?" Chess walked over and leaned in to look at the papers that he had scattered over the empty space on the desk. Before she could really see anything other than a few lines of Hangul though he had pulled them into a pile and to his chest.

"It's lyrics but they're not done yet," Jooheon turned to face the computer again and Chess saw the tips of his ears burning red. She chuckled. The badass rapper could be the cutest little er sometimes. Slowly Chess wrapped her arms around his chest from behind his chair and laid her cheek on his right shoulder.

"Will you let me see them? Please~," Chess sung the end of her word trying to act as cute as possible so that he would cave. What she hadn't expected though was for him to turn and face her causing their faces to be just centimeters apart.

"But... They're not... Finished," Jooheon slowly stated as he looked into her eyes almost pleadingly. He started to lean in at a snail's pace, trying to figure out if she would allow him. Chess blushed and froze. She wasn't sure if she was ready for this but she couldn't pull away either. Jooheon's lips were just barely ghosting over hers. She could feel how soft they were but they were just tickling at her at the moments. She suddenly craved the kiss, whether it was just because of the anticipation or because she truely wanted Jooheon to kiss her she didn't know. 

Apparently she would never know because just before Jooheon could fully connect his lips to hers the door opened. Chess immediately stood up straight and walked over towards the door to the recording booth waving a hello to Shownu. He eyed her curiously as she walked into the booth to set up both the cameras and mic to her liking before walking out. It was obvious that Shownu had just asked Jooheon what he had walked in on by the fact that it was instantly silent when Chess exited the booth. Trying to ignore the awkwardness in the air though she simply went over to the computer and loaded up the instrumentals that she was looking for before finally facing the boys.

"If you're gonna stay will you help me record this? I can't really work both sides of the booth," Chess chuckled awkwardly trying to ignore  what had just happened between her and Jooheon.

"Yeah... I will... No problem," Jooheon turned to the controls getting ready as Chess turned back to enter the booth, ignoring the look that Shownu was sending her. She reached up and grabbed the headphones once she was settled in her place behind the mic. She was going to just sing and forget that they existed. She wasn't rapping today, she just didn't have the energy for it so she had chosen an american song that was still a bit upbeat but had some appropriate lyrics for what she was having to deal with with the boys.

Chess signaled Jooheon that she was ready and the first strains of 'Clarity' came through her headphones. Without question she sang. She poured her heart and her problems into her voice. She just wanted to let go and come back to a clear mind. Maybe singing would help her find some answers. She knew her voice was deeper than the original during the chorus but she was liking the feeling that she had just keeping it going figuring if it had been bad Jooheon would have stopped her by now. She finished and kept her eyes closed for a second just let the moment wash over her. Her mind was starting to feel less jumbled so she finally opened her eyes.

"How was it?" Shownu sent her a smile and thumbs up while Jooheon just kept looking at the screen nodding quickly when addressed. "Can you find the instrumentals for 'Have Faith In Me'?"

Shortly Jooheon had started the track this one being a heavy song that she doubt anyone expected from her but she sang again with her heart. This song no matter the upbeat tone always tugged at her heart reminding her off all the broken promises she had, of all the things she had left behind. She sang until she could feel tears trying to escape her eyes. She was starting to work through her problems, whether it seemed like it on the outside or not. It was such a relieving feeling to not have her mind clouded anymore. She was starting to gain some clarity.

"Turn on Frankenstein please," She didn't even bother asking how it was she just needed to sing one more song. This was the the creepiest song she sang, literally talking about stitching up a cut up boy and making him hers. Chess needed it though. It was the finally piece of the puzzle that would make her life just a bit easier. As she sang she thought back to all her memories with the boys. One kept popping into her mind. All her memories with the other two didn't hold a candle to how she would feel just thinking about the memories with him. She couldn't help the smile that crossed her face while she sang about a monster that she wanted to make hers. She felt like it was only appropriate. She had finally made her choice. At least she was pretty sure she had. She hadn't been able to feel this way about someone in over three and a half years. With that thought though her resolve faltered. She'd have to tell him about her past. What would he think of her after that? Would he stay? Would he decide that he had been wrong about his feelings? Would she lose him entirely? She shook her head as the instrumentals ended the song and walked out of the booth.

"Shownu? Are you busy? Do you think you could grab a coffee with me?" She decided she'd tell Shownu first. He was like her little brother, he'd be able to give her an opinion on how the boys would react. She'd be able to learn how to handle it and tell him about her choice too.

"I think I'm free Noona. You good Jooheon?" Jooheon just nodded and went back to his lyrics without looking up. Shownu rolled his eyes and walked towards Chess motioning for her to lead the way. Chess did just that and took them to the company's cafe in the lobby.

After quickly buying coffee for the two of them coffee Chess found them a table towards a corner. Shownu thanked her for the coffee quickly taking a sip.

"So what did you think about in the booth? You looked like you finally figured something out," Shownu was perceptive, how did she always forget that?

"A couple things but the most important is that I need to finally tell you guys about my past. I figured I'd start with you. You seem like you would give me some advice on how to tell the others and I really need that. My past is... well it's got a lot of dark spots in it," Chess looked and the untouched coffee clenched in her hands.

"Well then you're going to have to start somewhere. How about the beginning?" Shownu reached over to place his hand on her wrist encouragingly. Chess was happy that they were the only two in the cafe at the moment. She didn't know how she would be able to tell him if there had been other people there.

"I guess you could say everything in my life was pretty normal at least until just before my 21st birthday. So I guess I'll start there."

Cheshire took a deep breath preparing herself. She was going to have a hard time and she knew it but Shownu just squeezed her wrist gently letting her know he wasn't going anywhere.

Here goes nothing.

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A/N Who did she choose? What happened in her past? Will the boys still be there? You'll find out soon! As always Thank You for Reading! Kamsamnida!