Cheshire woke up in a hotel room with Alice tightly wound around her legs and arms. No wonder she had woken up. Chess attempted to move the smaller girl off of her only to be greeted with a groan as she disentangled herself in her sleep. Chess just scoffed and headed to the bathroom to get a start on her day. It was the end of their tour. They had just had a two day break in New York and now they were in North Carolina for a show in Raleigh. Why? Because sajangnim had a vendetta against Chees apparently. Why else would he put her so close to her childhood home knowing that she couldn't even go see anyone or even let anyone know it was going to be her on that stage tonight. This was the only time she had ever dreaded a show. What if someone who knew her just so happened to come? She didn't look that different from when she had lived here. Sure she was much skinnier but that didn't change her basic look. Panic was the only way she could describe the feeling creeping up her spine. This show could literally ruin her if the wrong person showed up and recognized her. She finally came out of the bathroom in the most inconspicuous clothes that she could. It was just after 8 a.m. and all she wanted was a good coffee from one of her old favorite shops.

Morning Times was just as she remembered it, a little bit of urban country settled in the heart of downtown. Walking in she immediately felt all the tension leave her shoulders as she breathed in the beautiful smell of fresh brewed coffe. When she got to the counter she ordered a simple large coffee and paid, putting a couple dollars in the tip jar. As she made up her huge cup of coffee she let her mind wander down memory lane a bit. She used to come here almost every morning before she had packed up and flown to Seoul. Nothing around her had really changed in the three and a half years she'd been gone and she couldn't decide if that made her happy or not. She knew that the City of Oaks hadn't really been known to be ever changing but she had kind of hoped that it could have just wiped away the parts that held memories for her so she didn't feel so bad about not being able to talk about or to anyone from her past.

"Scarlett? Scarlett Beck?" Chess froze. She hadn't heard that name in three and a half years and had no intentions of answering it. Luckily she was still wearing her suglasses that covered half her face. "Oh my goodness it is you! How have you been!?"

"Mwoh? Mianhe I don't speak english," It was a pitiful attempt and she knew it but somehow or another she had to get out of there. This would not end well.

"Scarlett, you can't fool me I've known you since we were 7," Well she tried right? Cheshire removed her sunglasses and looked at the woman in front of her. She hadn't changed much since high school. She still looked every bit the geek she was.

"I'm really sorry but I can't talk I have to go. It was nice seeing you Christina," Chess made her way towards the exit only to find that Christina was following her.

"At least let me walk with you. No one's heard from you since the accident and we were all worried about you," Christina WAS always the persistent one. How could she have forgotten that.

"Unfortunately due to my job I really can't talk to you. I know it sounds mean but it could really up my life. I'm really sorry," Chess felt the urge to run but she just ignored it and kept her pace even. Only four blocks to the hotel. She could do this.

"I'm sorry but you can't do that! We've looked for you for years. After everything that happened we all went over to your house just to find a note saying you were leaving and that you'd call us when you could. It's been three and a half years! You could have at least called to let us know you were okay! What happened to you?" Christina had hit a nerve and Cheshire couldn't hold back now.

"The accident happened! I lost everything! I picked up and moved to get away from the memories! Hell, you want to know what I've done with my life? it, why not? I'm probably already screwed anyways," Chess took a deep breath and glared towards her old friend. "I moved to Seoul. Like I always said I would. On a whim I auditioned for an entertainment company thinking it'd at least be something to do with my life. They signed me Chris! I'm an idol now! The only white female one at that! When my boss wrote up my contract he very specifically made it so that people couldn't dig into my past and that I couldn't talk about it. I am not even supposed to be talking to you at all. It but for what I've gained I was willing to give up everything I had ever been. Get this, I'm a rapper too. Pretty famous over there. I was voted Female Idol to watch last month. I have worked my off for this and you not just letting me walk away could destroy everything that I have built for myself now. Sorry if I don't really have a lot of sympathy for my old life or for trying to make myself better again. I am not Scarlett Beck anymore. She died in that accident too. My name is Cheshire and I have a concert tonight so I need to go get ready should I still have my job by the time it starts."

Chess didn't wait to see the look on Christina's face she just turned and walked away leaving the other girl dumbfounded in the street. She dug her phone out of her pocket before placing a quick call to Korea. It was late and she knew that but sajangnim needed to help her now.

"Yoboeseyo?" Sajangnim must have still been at the office though it wasn't super late considering.

"We have a problem sajangnim," Chess knew that he was going to flip and she was not up to dealing with pleaseantries at the moment.

"What happened Chess?" She stopped walking and just finished off her coffee.

"I ran into one of my old friends at a coffee shop. I tried to walk away but given the circumstances that I left under she wanted an explanation. She hit a nerve. I told her everything. Who's idea was it to stop in Raleigh anyways? How was this not expected?" Chess was about to lose her cool again and it was driving her insane that sajangnim hadn't realized why this had been a bad idea.

"It was expected Chess."

"What?!"

"We had no doubts that you would be recognized. We're trying to slowly ease you out of the gag order. I don't like that you've been having to deal with so much on your own. You're strong and I know that but I also know that you need to be able to talk to people about what you went through. You've gotten a lot of praise recently and we think that your career can handle it. We're not going to run a full coverage piece or anything but we're going to start letting you answer questions as you see fit... But we wanted to give you a chance to tell your home town what you've been up to if you wanted. We just didn't want you to panic though so we kind of just threw the raleigh stop off in there to give you a nudge." Chess almost dropped her phone. He was kidding right? She didn't want to come back. Not really. She didn't want anyone but those closest to her to know anything. Now people would be able to dig. She didn't want her fans to know about the accident or her pain. She wanted to be the enigma.

"I don't want anyone to know though. I just wanted to be able to talk to Giriboy or Jooheon or Mad Clown or I.M or the girls. I don't want the fans to find out. I want to be a strong enigma to the public. I don't want them to know sajangnim."

"We can't keep it a secret forever. You have a past just like everyone else. The fans will appreciate your candidness. You should give this some more thought." Chess sighed. He was right and she knew it she just didn't want to admit it.

"Okay sajangnim. Arrasseyo," Chess hung up her phone and placed it back in her pocket turning around to see where she had just fought with Christina. She knew she wouldn't be ther but she kind of wished she would have been. She felt bad for yelling now. Christina had been there for everything and had helped to make Cheshire see that the accident hadn't been the end of her life and Chess just treated her like . She walked back to the hotel feeling lower than dirt and went through the doors to find her members sitting on the beds waiting for her.

"Are you okay? You disappeared for a long time," Bei Lee asked as soon as she entered the room.

"No, I'm not okay. I need to tell you guys a really long story soon but I want to wait until after we get back to Korea okay? What I will tell you now though is this is my hometown. I grew up here. I lost a lot before I moved to Korea and it's been hard to be back here. I'm going to say something about that at the concert. I think there are some people I need to apologize to," Her members nodded before standing up and coming to hug her. They had seen some rough times together but they had never seen Cheshire so vulnerable. There weren't words that could fix this and she thanked her members silently for not trying to find some to placate her. She was going to get through this though. The hardest part was already over.

The girls had just finished their concert and they were heading back to the stage for their encore. Cheshire was the first to go onstage and she knew now was the time if she was going to try to talk to her friends. She was sure Christina would have gotten them last minute tickets and even if she hadn't she was posted up somewhere that she could hear her. That's just who she was.

"Hey there guys I want to tone it down for a minute I have something really important to say," Cheshire waited for the inevitable silence that followed. She loved that her fans were so willing to listen to her. "This is my hometown. I haven't been back in three and a half years and nothing has really changed. Including the friends that I left behind. I ran into one of them today. I know that it's pretty different to hear anything about my past but that's because all this time that I've been debuted we've had a contract in place to keep people from being able to dig into my past. I'm still not quite ready to share that part of the story with you but I wanted to take a moment and apologize. I was a lousy friend. I just up a left to South Korea without even truely saying goodbye. I promised to contact people and I never did. I actually yelled at one of the few people who stuck with me through the hardest time of my life today and I feel terrible for it. I don't deserve that friendship anymore but I just hope that they can hear me and that they understand that I didn't meant to hurt them. There's no excuse for what I said and I can't think of anything that could have been worse to do. Christina, if you're out there I'm sorry and this last song is for you guys. The ones who waited and looked for me."

It was the song that Giri had produced for them. The only song on their album that had lyrics written by the memebers. When 'Apologies' intro played through the speakers it sounded like crowd went crazy. Chess had taken the time to translate and learn her rap in english for this moment even if she didn't know it at the time. When she danced her way to the front of the stage she could swear she heard Christina scream her name. Not her stage name. Her actual name. Scarlett.

I'm on the bottom everywhere I go
The risk is too high
The profits too low
The force is too much
The hate is too real 
I refuse to feel
Like my sights are too high
For the goals that I seek 

For the friends who need me
I'm sorry for leaving
I needed my time 
I needed my space 
I needed to let go
Of all this dead weight

I was dragging my feet
I couldn't even see me
Forest for the trees
I tried to escape
what I thought was a place 
But was really disease

Every time I step up
I feel pushed back to the ground
That edge where I live
You couldn't even survive
All I have is my voice
And this one chance to... go

With one last chorus it was over. The tour was finished and RI5E was set to be on a plane that night back to Seoul. Chess hoped that this would be enough for now. That her friends had heard her and could understand. As much as she wished she could see them once before she left, she knew she needed to start this new journey in Seoul. She couldn't do anything more here. So she left.

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A/N Who will be the first to hear the story? I doubt you'd be able to guess.... It's going to get a bit feelsy for a while but I promise that there will definitely be some fluff coming soon if nothing else. As always Thank You for Reading! Kamsamnida!