“She just doesn’t want to talk to you at all.”

Wheein’s words echoes through Byul’s mind like a broken record. What makes it worse was not the words alone, but the sound of Yongsun’s voice saying those words. Saying it feels like a slap on the face would be an understatement because Byul feels a lot more than that. It feels like a thousand swords pierced through her whole being and she couldn’t do anything but feel the pain slowly seeping the life out of her.

Byul doesn’t know why, doesn’t understand how, doesn’t expect it at all.

How would she been able to expect anything? Yongsun was doing everything like she usually does. She doesn’t look suspicious at all. She’s just like the Yongsun in Byul’s everyday life but then one morning she just disappeared so abruptly out of Byul’s whole life. It was so sudden that it left Byul no room to think of a good enough reason for Yongsun to do this to her.

Had Yongsun finally have enough of their relationship?

Had Yongsun finally feel tired of her?

Maybe she’s been feeling sick of Byul and waited for the perfect time to walk out—but no, no, that can’t be true. Byul knows when Yongsun said she loves her, she meant it with all her heart. It may sound a little too naïve but Byul can so much differentiate when Yongsun was lying and when she’s telling her the truth. And Byul knew she had been sincere with her feelings back then, the last time Yongsun told her that she loves Byul.

Byul could come visit Yongsun’s university but she remembers how Yongsun said she doesn’t want to talk to her at all. So, what’s the point? Best bet is Yongsun will ignore her—but would Yongsun really do that to Byul? The image of Yongsun being cruel to her doesn’t match up any scenario and if it were to happen for real, Byul wouldn’t be able to hold herself. She could end up crying right there and then.

So, Byul pretends everything is fine when it’s clearly not.

Everyday Byul can only think what could’ve she did wrong to Yongsun that the latter seem to not want any more thing to do with her? She still couldn’t believe that Yongsun, of all people, could be so cruel. It hurt Byul thinking how easy it was for Yongsun to leave her life, she doesn’t even care how much it will affect Byul.

Maybe she never cared.

Maybe.

Byul doesn’t know if Yongsun leaving her so abruptly like this is better than having her say goodbye to Byul’s face. They both know that there will be no future, that they eventually part ways and no one knows exactly when that will happen. That’s why Byul tries to desperately keep her heart guarded from heartbreak. She would tell herself to be ready when it comes but Byul knows better that it’s always easier said than done.

For when Yongsun finally walked out without a word, Byul was left wondering if it had been her fault.

No matter how many times Byul think of what could be going through Yongsun’s mind, she still didn’t get how would Yongsun just leave her like that. Byul’s heart was broken but she didn’t cry… She didn’t cry for the first week because she was too busy thinking of all possible scenarios in her head. She was still sure Yongsun probably didn’t mean it.

Maybe her parents have her phone.

Maybe she’s laying low because of that.

So, Byul stayed positive with those thoughts.

But the second week gave Byul a harder time to pass. She ran out of reasons to defend what Yongsun did. She may as well run out of faith to wait until Yongsun come back to her. Will she even come back at all? Probably not. It starts to take a toll on her that she ends up blaming herself.

Byul would look all fine at school and one day, she asked Wheein for another favor to contact Yongsun. Yongsun replied to Wheein and Byul dared to ask Wheein if she can use her phone to talk to Yongsun. Of course, Wheein let her and Byul did a small mental jump in her head at the thought of talking to Yongsun again.

But Yongsun’s reply wasn’t anything Byul expected at all.

[ Yongsun-ah, we need to talk. It’s me, Byul… ]

[ There’s nothing we need to talk about anymore. ]

Nothing?

How could Yongsun be so cruel…? How come there’s nothing to talk about between them? She’s just going to leave Byul hanging like this and move on with her life? God, didn’t it hurt Yongsun just a little for doing this to her…? Byul swallowed her tears, she doesn’t want Wheein to watch her break down. She doesn’t need Wheein to report it to Hyejin and have her scold Byul for all the stupid things she did.

When she got home, she ended up crying, cursing Yongsun’s name in between, begging her to come back because Byul felt so tired of being without her. She wanted Yongsun to come back and tell her that everything is just a huge nightmare and that she was sleeping all this time—that Yongsun didn’t leave her, she was still there in Byul’s bed, telling her that she loves her. God, it hurts… She misses her so much that it hurts. Her chest hurts, her head hurts, her heart—, Byul doesn’t know if her heart is still intact and working fine at this point because everything was just so painful the moment Yongsun left.

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