Yongsun hates it.

She hates that she had to lie to Byul.

She hates that she knows this will hurt Byul.

She hates that there isn’t anything else she can think of a way out. A better way out than this. A better way to stop her parents’ suspicion over her uality than going out of her way to find a guy for her to date out of fear. Fear of getting caught by her parents again. Fear of what her parents might do to Byul if they know that she and Byul still in contact—worst, they’re still dating.

Yongsun isn’t strong enough for that. She still wants to keep this secret with Byul because she still wants to be with Byul—maybe until a few years to come until Yongsun can provide herself and not depend on her parents again.

She doesn’t want to risk Byul.

She doesn’t want to risk this relationship.

Yongsun have taken enough risks by secretly dating Byul behind everyone’s back and she will keep this secret for as long as she can no matter what. Her plan may not be the best, but it’s the only one she can think of. Because Krystal is no longer around to help Yongsun convince her parents nor help her to think of a way out.

This is where Yongsun thinks she had to take action by herself.

It’s been a while since the last time she’s trying to have her way with a boy. But thanks to modern tech these days, it’s so easy to find one and convince one without even seeing each other first. Yongsun would be lying if she doesn’t feel guilty, but every time she does, she remembers how she’s doing this for her and Byul’s relationship. It helped ease the guilt a little, though it’s still there, obviously.

Yongsun knew Byul was getting a little protective of her and she loves that. It shows how Byul doesn’t like to share what is hers and Yongsun definitely belongs to her.

But this puts Yongsun in a dangerous spot as well.

When Byul got suspicious of a guy named ‘Eric’ who has been responding to Yongsun’s tweets, Yongsun have taken a note to lessen her interactions with that guy. Yongsun knew Eric takes a special liking towards her, it was so easy to notice. So typical. Yongsun thought. And Byul also noticed it, that’s why she asked for Yongsun to not talk to him again.

Yongsun stopped responding to his reply on any of her tweets.

Byul was glad the next time she checked Yongsun’s phone and twitter account, there is no longer any trace of Yongsun interacting with him. There is one or two, but nothing more than one hand can count. What Byul doesn’t know was how persistent Eric was. Yongsun almost wanted to tell him off because she’s taken but before she can give him a piece of her mind, her mother has yet again asked about how in Yongsun’s age, she should go out and get a boyfriend.

Yongsun was so sick of it and she ended up telling her mother that she indeed has a boyfriend. It took one deep breath before Yongsun could spill ‘my boyfriend is Moon Byulyi’ – but that would be considered as a suicide attempt, so instead she settled with, “His name is Eric.”

She remembered how her mother beamed at her, wanting Yongsun to tell her more about Eric. And Yongsun spent the entire time mentally laughing bitterly at herself for wishing she can tell all about Byul to her mother as freely as this.

Yongsun knows that giving what her parents wanted is the safest way for her from any suspicion. But she is also scared with how she will keep up with this lie. First, she needs to respond to Eric and trick him to date Yongsun, this is just in case her parents ask to meet Eric (which is probably soon enough). Second, before she can execute the whole dating Eric plan, she needs to tell Byul about it and Yongsun swears she was extremely terrified to do that to Byul. There are plenty of moments where Yongsun can break the news but she just can’t. She knows Byul would be hurt…but she doesn’t want them to end. Yongsun can only hope Byul would still hold onto this relationship even after she knows.

She was stalling too much.

Eric has already asked her for dinner and she already agreed.

It was all unplanned but she can’t back out. She proceeds with her plan to have dinner with Eric. At the worst timing, in the same night, Byul texted her to come to her place and Yongsun lied to her, saying that she can’t go out. There’s an unpleasant feeling in her stomach during the whole dinner but she didn’t show it. She glanced up to look at her partner for tonight. A guy—damn, it’s been a hell while since the last time Yongsun went out to dinner with a guy. But she still would prefer it to be Byul.

Even when Eric is a really fine guy.

He’s tall, has cute eye smile, very charming, and it’s very clear that money has never been a problem for this guy sitting across from Yongsun. He’s such a great gentleman. He made a great first impression on Yongsun and for a second, she was taken aback with how well-mannered he is. It is surprising that a guy like him is single.

“I’m sorry if I talk too much. I was getting excited about meeting you.”

Yongsun gives him a small smile, “It’s okay. I don’t really mind knowing more about you.”

She feels sorry for him, though just a little.

Because no matter how great he is, he will never own Yongsun’s heart, for it was taken and well-kept inside someone else’s heart that isn’t a male kind and goes by the name ‘Moon Byulyi’. Yongsun felt bad for what she planned for him, for all the tricks Yongsun had under her sleeves. But those feelings were short-lived when she decided to send a text message to her girlfriend. She was a little bored, if she has to be honest. Thus, she texted her girlfriend and tell her that she misses her and wants to call her later when she’s back at home. Byul didn’t reply the first text, so she sent another one. She almost pouted thinking Byul may already be asleep.

But then her reply almost makes her choke.

Byul wants to call Yongsun right at that moment.

Yongsun quickly played it off by saying she’s still studying.

And her reply to that excuse was something Yongsun never prepared for. She suddenly felt so sick, she wanted to choke out a cry but she held it in and asked Eric to take her home soon. Yongsun had no idea how, but Byul knows.

She knows Yongsun is out with a guy.

And Byul was extremely upset.

Yongsun was dead scared with how Byul responded her chats. Whatever Yongsun was saying, Byul was persistent in telling Yongsun that she knows. She knows Yongsun isn’t at home. She knows Yongsun isn’t studying. She knows Yongsun is lying to her just to go out to have dinner with a guy. No matter how Yongsun look at it, Byul has the right to be angry at her because this doesn’t look pretty at all.

Yongsun gave up her sleep at night thinking of a way to make Byul understand the whole situation. She’s been crying too, but she knows she doesn’t deserve to do so because she’s the one who hurt Byul. She shouldn’t have stalled too long in telling Byul and now look what happened.

She goes to school and tried to look presentable enough. She put on her usual president demeanor to mask her aching heart. She wished she would see a small glimpse of Byul but it was hard and she knows Byul purposely been trying to avoid meeting her. Yongsun gets it but she can’t keep on feeling this way. It’s too much for Yongsun to bear, so she waited in one spot where she believed Byul would pass by and just grab and drag her somewhere private to talk.

Yongsun expected Byul to look like after what happened last night. Yongsun expected Byul to question things she knew about Eric and her. But what she didn’t expect was how easy Byul forgave her wrongdoings. How she only said to Yongsun that she should have told Byul sooner about it. How she was the one who walked into Yongsun’s personal space and hug her, comforting her. How easy they go back to how they were even after Byul got hurt.

Byul understood her plan.

She drew lines where Yongsun and Eric cannot cross. Though Byul understands and let Yongsun proceed with her plan, Byul still let Yongsun know that she’s not all that fond of the idea of having to share Yongsun with someone else.

Knowing that, she feels so guilty and she makes up for it by giving Byul extra time and extra care. She’s afraid that in time, Byul will get tired and leave her. That would be Yongsun’s biggest fear for now. She needs to let Byul know that even if she’s dating Eric, she still doesn’t look at him as more than someone she used for her plan. Because Byul hates thinking about it. Which makes Yongsun trie