So this was the break up blues.

“And how does it feel?” I asked myself. 

“Absolutely ing wonderful!” My sarcastic shriek echoed in the room. 

If only Jae Joong could see me now, sprawled on my back on the ground and just completely completely drained of life.

My hair was messy, I probably smelt disgusting because I felt disgusting and my clothes were days old. Not joking.

My head lolled to the right where I saw three different jars rolling around. “Cream cheese, Nutella and raspberry jam.” I reached over and dipped my finger in the cheese and on it. 

“Sooo good.”

Hyoseon walked in and frowned. Her image shifted in my upside down vision. “Heey.” I slurred. She sighed, kicked the jars and put her foot on my stomach, rolling me softly from side to side.

“Get up you idiot.” 

But I curled my body to the other side, determined to ignore her. “Cheese?” I heard her say. “Seohyun you’re lactose intolerant. You know that.”

“Not severely.” I reminded her.

I wished for nothing more than for her to disappear but, knowing me, Hyoseon stood there, determined and ever present.

Finally, I rolled back to my right and squinted up at her. “Done ignoring me?” she smiled triumphantly. “No.” I grumbled, getting to my feet. “I’ve got carpet burn.”

Picking up the jars, I shuffled to her kitchen and placed them back in the fridge. The door closed with a loud thump and I looked up at her, bored. “... Is there anything else to eat?” I asked.

Hyoseon rolled her eyes, got off of her side and came over to my side. “You stink.” she giggled. 

“When are you going back to Shinee’s dorm?” she asked me. I stopped chewing my lip and looked at her. “What?” my tone was dreary and uninterested and she knew it.

“When are you going back?” she repeated.

“Never!” And that was a vow.

“Your clothes are still there.”

Well damn.

I sighed, getting off the kitchen counter. “Fine. I’ll go there and get my clothes.” She began to smile. “But then I’m coming straight back alright?” I hurriedly added. Hyoseon nodded and took my phone out of her pocket.

“Take the bus. I’m not wasting gasoline on your personal problems.” She walked away from me and opened the door of her apartment, gesturing to the outside. “Come on. Off you go.”

A headache was coming on, and as I walked towards the front of the doors, I spied a photo frame propped up on the shoe cupboard.

I walked towards it, carefully looking at the photo.

Mum, dad, Hyoseon and I were standing along the Seine River in France, with Hyoseon’s arms wrapped tightly around my waist and dad’s right arm was draped over my shoulder. 

It was spring break when I was thirteen, and the family had decided to just pack up and dump us in France for two whole months. It was a glorious, glorious time of my youth and I would never ever forget the complete bliss I had experienced.

I hadn’t seen my mother and father since I had gotten married. Like many elders, they grabbed their stuff as soon as possible and went back to America to steady out the stocks for the business. But it made sense. I was after all, sold to save my family’s business. 

Look how that turned out.

“Stop. Stalling.”

I gritted my teeth and turned my head, regarding my sister with a stiff glare. “I’m going.”

-

“Here you go.” I bowed my head in thanks and Minho set down the cup of tea in front of me.

It was awkwardly silent in the whole dorm as when I had arrived, Key and the others had just left for and Inkigayo trainee recording. 

My things were already packed and waiting for me at the front door. They had been there a while; as I swiped my finger across the bag a thin layer of dust gathered on my finger tip.

My last personal meeting with Minho had left my feelings to him and his to me a little bit ambiguous, so the current situation I was in obviously didn’t help.

He stood in front of me, silently standing there. I could see that he was fighting himself to say something, but what?

“Sorry I caused so much trouble.” I bowed stiffly as far as I could and peeked up at him from under my eyelids.

Surprisingly, he laughed. It was loud and resonated throughout the room.

“Trouble?” He laughed. “You’ve been the least amount of trouble I’ve ever had from a girl Seohyun-ssi.” That broke the tension, and he sat down opposite me, still grinning.

I raised an eyebrow. “I’m not following…”

Minho light heartedly nodded. “We’ve had… a lot drama in amongst the SM Company these few years.” He absentmindedly gestured around him and for the first time, I truly saw the pictures on the mantelpiece.

Images that captured moments in the idols’ lives.

I saw the pretty princesses of SM; Girl’s Generation smiling with their arms wrapped around the TVXQ sunbae’s, SHINee hoobaes and other crew. My eyes purposely strayed from Jae Joong’s face even though I could basically see it pulsate in my eye.

“You have no idea…” I turned slightly to face him. His eyes twinkled with a hidden knowledge, “what we go through as SM idols.”

My eyes stayed on his face. Obviously there were a lot of things that I wasn’t even aware of or close to perceiving. He turned to smile at me. “Kibum and the others were sincerely sorry when I told them you came.”

On reflex, I flushed again and bowed, my hair dropping into the vision of my eyes. “You have taken great care of me Minho-ssi. But if you don’t mind, I need to leave now.” He nodded once slowly and I drew towards the door.

Trying to show my gratefulness, I lowered into a formal bow, picked up my things and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind me.

Seoul bustled away around me; people were driving to work, children were getting sent to school and only then did I realise that it was early morning.

A couple of guys passed me, discussing their thesis work due next week. 

A thought hit me. Was I going back to school? I was seventeen, not even a true adult yet and for the months that I had been in Korea, I had been wallowing around, doing absolutely nothing.

God what a useless person I was.

On the walk to the train station, I passed Yonsei University and I curiously took a good look at the campus.

Tall, green vines wrapped the grey building in its clutches and I had the urge to sigh in awe. It was such an elegant building, and obviously was very very well kept.

But wait.

I was seventeen in America, which meant that in Korea I was eighteen, so I was really free to do as I wanted!

Such a revelation made my lips curl up in glee and pretty soon I was striding into the halls of Yonsei University, trying to locate the main office.

Students of the university shot me strange looks, and my pace slowed to a crawl as I realised that the school was even tighter knit than I had originally thought. Everyone knew everyone here, and my confidence and motivation dissipated.

“Excuse me.” A man dodge my elbow, clipping me in the process of hurrying past and almost sent himself flying down the stairs.

He turned to drown me in his fiery gaze before seeing my lost expression. “Sorry.” He sweetly commented, and tittered down the stairway, on his way to class.

“Wow. You’re one lucky girl.” Someone commented from beside me, and I looked over to see a girl with striking hot pink hair staring impassively at me.

Even though her eyes were directed at my face, I looked around to confirm that she really was talking to me.

“Me? Why?” I asked.

Pinkie popped a bubble with her gum and gestured with her neck towards the direction in which the guy had left.

“You just bumped into the prince of the campus.” Her voice was laced with a hint of loathing.

“I’m sorry?”

Finally, it dawned on her that I wasn’t a student. “Oh.” Her lips curled into a round shape, and she laughed boisterously. “Sorry. Thought you were a newbie.” Then, her eyes narrowed. “Are you even attending Yonsei?”

A fiery blush spread across my cheeks and I shook my head. “No I was just looking for the office… so I could get… admission forms.”

Pinkie gave me a hard gaze. “Admission forms?” I nodded.

Once more, she laughed. “Sweetie this isn’t America or wherever you came from.” She waved her hand, dismissing me. “You don’t get admission forms or whatever. Applications to this university closed early this year. Shouldn’t you at least know that?” The end of her question exposed her curiosity.

“How do you know I’m American?” That’s all that mattered right now. This strange girl with strange hair could not only sense that I wasn’t a student, but I was also foreign.

“You spoke in English just before.”

Had I? My eyebrows raised. I didn’t even notice.

“I also major in English lit.” She said, showing me her pearly whites.

“Oh. Cool.” That was my vain attempt to sound just slightly interested.

“Girlie, if you’re looking for admission, maybe I can help you. How old are you?” she asked.

“Seven- eighteen.” I corrected myself.

“Name?”

“Hamasaki Seohyun.”

Pinki smiled even wider. “Japanese? Cool.”

“Occupation?”

Damn. I didn’t even have a job.

She sensed my hesitancy and rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry about it chickie.” What was with this girl and her nicknames?

“But look,” she leaned close and eyed the students around her. “maybe I can help you. I can just you know, ring a few people and just pass your form to the office ladies. I know them well.”

I stared at her. A stranger, someone I had known for mere moments was really offering to smuggle me into the school. “Really?”

I was wary. “No thanks.”

She shook her head. “Babe, I guess you’re a careful one then. Well, that’s good here.” She popped her gum again. “My dad owns this uni. I can get around him.”

As she said this, it dawned on me.

The students around her passed her as if they were careful to disrupt land mines under the tiles. They parted like the Red Sea behind her and their eyes often darted towards her bright mop of hair.

So if that guy was the prince, then she was evidently Princess of the castle.

But still.

Many things had gone wrong with may life in Korea now, and there was no way I was doing something as forbidden as this just to do something useful with my life.

“Mmm no. Thank you for the offer.” I lowered my eyes and walked away. 

Pinkie looked at me with an undecipherable gaze, but didn’t follow me.

I have many things to say.

Firstly, sorry for not updating in two months, but I have just been so unmotivated in absolutely everything I do... it's really weird.

Um...

the reason that I updated this, and some of you may not be aware, but it's because I was on tumblr and I saw a ZUTARA tag which had a ZUTARA fan fic on fanfiction.com and I fell in love with the story this person wrote in 2008.

It's called "Fall of the White Lotus' and the most amazing piece of ZUTARA fan fiction I have ever read.

My first, also haha.

But seriously, for all Avatar, the Last Airbender fans, please read it for ZUTARA.

I was so obsessed and it was surprising because I fell in love with it in two days, which is really short, and it's so sad because I don't live in their world...

I'm so in love with Zuko and Katara that I can't even explain what i'm feeling... just mindblown and i'm just completely just uuggghhh.

I've said the same thing over and over again, but I cannot get over how amazing it is.

My writing style has changed a little, and that is ALL because of this Zutara fic, and so OHMYGOD I REALLY NEED TO SPAZZ BECAUSE THE WEDDING SCENE WAS SO PERFECT AND ARRGGGHHHHHH here's a peek:

"Zuko had to admit that although he had been looking forward to finally being alone again with Katara the most, he would always remember the moment he first laid eyes on her in her wedding attire as being absolutely breathtaking.

The day had started early when he had to welcome all of his guests, including the Earth King, the Chief and Chieftess of the Northern Water Tribe, the King of Omashu, the Ladies Mai and Ty Lee with their parents and the Avatar and his fiancée, Lady Toph Bei Fong, who smiled at him encouragingly. Their wedding day lay not too far ahead in the future.

Then, when the sun reached its summit, Zuko found himself standing at the quay, surrounded by his court and the entire city of Sozin, watching as the Water Tribe flagship with the carved polar wolf's head proudly preceding the blue billowing sails, gracefully approached the harbor, bordered by the other Water Tribe ships forming a lane.

When the ship had processed halfway through the lane, it came to stop and small lifeboats emerged from the shadows, moving in a v-formation, the result of waterbending. In the front boat stood Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe in ceremonial robes, holding the hand of his daughter, Katara.

Zuko's heart had stopped beating at the absolutely striking sight. The water had glistened in the light of the sun, casting a brilliant glow on the Water Princess standing proudly next to her father. She had worn traditional Water Tribe wedding robes, adjusted to the warm Fire Nation winter. A brocade, sky blue parka, adorned with small borders of fur and embroidered with silver thread, left just enough space for the long dress underneath, made of delicate silk voile in an extraordinary pale blue color, changing to a glistening silver every time Katara moved. Zuko then had moved his eyes upward toward a silver ornament dotted with glistening diamonds and sapphires gathering up her hair. Countless pearls were woven through her dark brown tresses in an intricate and beautiful way, with one, large pearl resting upon her forehead. A light make-up enhanced the lovely features of Katara's natural beauty.

She had smiled at him, when their eyes locked and let go of her father's hand. Zuko's eyes widened in astonishment as the other waterbenders in her retinue stopped the boats and she lifted her hands in an elegant but powerful gesture. A mist of water drops rose from the surface around her, illuminated by sunlight into a glistening halo around the Water Tribe. The mist of water rose higher and elicited a wave of gasps and sighs from the crowd surrounding Zuko. A large rainbow with brilliant sparkling colors, had formed above the harbor, gracefully spanning the Water Tribe ships as they sailed through it.

It was a magnificent sight and everyone at the quay had fallen silent and bowed in reverence as Katara turned toward her father and hugged him tightly while a single tear ran down her cheek. And as she smilingly took Zuko's outstretched hand to help her on land, a lane of firebenders formed an aisle all the way down the Fire Temple and started to bend a fierce arch of fire for them to walk underneath. He gazed at her from the corner of his eye and caught her quiet smile at him before they started to move. Katara, Princess of the Southern Water Tribe, Master Healer and Master Bender, Teacher to the Avatar, Young War Hero and… his bride.

There wasn't a happier man alive at that moment.

The lavish wedding banquet followed the serene ceremony before the Fire Temple where they had paid their respects to both fire and water, Agni and La in an astounding display of master bending when the Fire and Water Sages, in a beautiful blend of Fire Nation and Water Tribe rituals, blessed on earth what the spirits had already sealed in the heavens.

From Zuko's part the ceremony became a bit emotional when he and Katara turned toward Lady Ursa and General Iroh to pay their respects to the groom's parents. There they had been; his mother beautiful in her brilliant brocade robes, shimmering gold whenever she moved, and his uncle dressed in red for the first time in two years, his grey hair pulled back in a top knot and adorned with a golden flame, indicating him as the Prince of the Fire Nation he was. They had looked down on him and Katara with proud smiles and wise gazes. Zuko's heart swelled with gratitude.

Katara squeezed his hand in a comforting way before they had risen to pay their respects to each other, love radiating from both their faces as they had smiled lovingly at each other. The Lord Chamberlain had stepped forward once more and announced on a lofty voice: "All hail to the Fire Lord and the Fire Lady!" eliciting a cheer and applause from the people present.

And as the sun was still visible in the evening sky, a golden orb amidst a brilliant shade of red with the silvery moon having already risen in the east, brilliant and triumphant fireworks erupted throughout the city of Sozin. Glittering stars reached for the skies, in red, blue, green and gold, accompanied by loud bangs, falling apart into long streaks of sparkles illuminating the Fire Nation below.

Katara and Zuko were finally married."

BOO-82 IS AMAZING ( I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THIS IS) AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF I EVER SPEAK TO THIS PERSON I WILL GO INSANE.

HOW GOOD IS IT?!