"Why in the world would I want to get married to you?" I interjected.

"Seohyun!" my mother scolded. "Watch your tongue!"

"No, it's fine," Jaejoong's mother clucked. "The poor child; she must be so upset. We should've told her earlier."

"Mrs Kim, I assure you, my daughter is really nothing like this," my mother said earnestly. I glanced at her and raised an eyebrow. I was always like this.

My parents and I sat in a gourmet, five star restaurant, dining with the Kim family. Mr and Mrs Kim were charming people, I had to admit, but every second I sat there, I disliked their son more and more.  He was beautiful, I knew. His lips were full and pink, his eyes cold and calculating, but they had a hidden warmth in them. He looked like the hesitant type, but I knew looks were decieving; this was Kim Jaejoong, vocalist of DBSK. He was a major star in South Korea and most of Asia, all the girls adored him.

But this was America, and I was definitely not seeing his charms. He had been silent most of the time, allowing his parents to do the talking. But unlike me, he had a slightly bored, if not I've-heard-this-a-million-times-before-I-don't-need-to-hear-it-again look. I was anything but bored. This was my life we were talking about here! Not some flimsy toy someone was getting control of. My life. Every so often I would shoot a glance his way, but his gaze never left the person's who was speaking, and he never looked my way once. It was totally confusing, especially since I knew he was supposedly the nicest guy around.

I pushed my food around my plate, wary of the stares I was recieving from everybody except Jaejoong. Finally, I set my fork down quietly and sipped my drink, watching my mother and Mrs Kim discuss the type of dress I would wear- as if the wedding was already decided.

"I was thinking a floral design on the waist would make her look very fashionable, don't you agree?" My mother nodded in agreement and I snorted. I looked pleadingly at my father to save me, to do anything to get me out of this hell, but he was chatting animatedly with Mr Kim, his business associate.

"What do you think this could do for Hamasaki Inc? If we were to merge companies, how do you think our profits could expand?" my father asked. Mr Kim coughed and began explaining some technical I couldn't even follow for a second before I turned away and groaned.

Finally my mother glanced at me and spoke. "Seohyun, what kind of dress do you want to wear?"

"None," I replied. "I'm not getting married."

Silence fell around the table as everybody, except Jaejoong of course looked taken aback. He simply looked at me for the first time, tilting his head to the side and narrowing his eyes in interest.

"What do you mean?" my father asked calmly.

"What I mean is, I'm not going to get married. I'm only 17. I haven't even lived my life yet," I said pleasantly. Smiling up at him, I batted my eyelashes. "Appa, do you really think I'm willing to do this? You guys haven't even asked me how I felt."

"Okay," my father said slowly. "How do you feel?"

"I feel betrayed." A lump rose in my throat. "I feel betrayed that you would even think of forcing me to do this when you know that I already love someone else. I feel hurt that you would think that I want to even be married right now. I just graduated high school, goddammit! I'm not the type of girl to get married straight out of high school and get knocked up!" I said harshly. "I'm... I'm different. I'm better than that. I don't want to get married at all."

Jaejoong's umma patted my hand sympathetically, as if she understood where I was coming from. But she didn't. None of them did. Not even Jaejoong, who had agreed to get married in the first place. Not even him, who I thought would understand the most.

"Seohyun. We love you. This is for the best," my mother said gently. "I would never betray you like that. Jaejoong is a kind, honest, and handsome young man who is close to our family. He will take care of you. He will love you. And this man that you love? Alex? Sweetie, Alex... he's not right for you. You know that. He's not the type of man you would want to father your children."

"What children?" I exploded. People shot glances at us in the restaurant but I didn't care. "I'm only 17! I'm 7 years younger than this guy! This is the first time I've ever met, and next week you expect me to get married to him? What is this!"

Finally, Jaejoong spoke. His voice was entirely what I had expected, smooth, soft but at the same time, reassuring.

"Look. I know you're upset, but honestly, it's not doing you a whole lot of good right now. You should just... accept it. If we get married, then our father's companies will be benefitted. Think of them," he said softly.

I felt my face burn as he reached out and my hand. "You know that I care about you. Why can't you just accept the fact that I want to marry you?" A funny feeling rose in my stomach as his eyes fell into his mine, as his gaze probed for something deeper within me. Look away, I told myself. Don't look further.

I lowered my gaze onto the table. "How can you say you care about me when this is the first time you've met me? You don't even know me," I said harshly.

I listened as his voice changed; it sounded as if he were smiling. "But I do know about you. We haven't met, but your parents have been sending me letters about you for a long time now. About 5 years to be exact." My eyes widened and my head shot up, instantly finding my parents' guilty expressions.

"5 years? Letters? What were in them?" I asked sharply, but my mother cut me off.

"It was a long time ago, sweetie, it doesn't matter anymore. Why don't we just for-"

Jaejoong interrupted her. "They've been sending me letters for five years which included pictures, your grades, things you had made like friendship bracelets, and even a lock of your hair. I have two drawers full of your things back home in Seoul. "

I looked at him incredulously. "What?" I repeated. "My hair? Pictures?"

"Yep," he said cheerfully. "I practically know all about you." I blushed, completely embarassed. Apparently there was another person other than my family and friends who had watched me grow up. Someone who on practically the other side of the world. I shivered, wondering what he had done with my pictures, my hair....

"I'm not a ert," he said suddenly, as if reading my thoughts. "It's not like I masterbated to your photo or something."

"Language!" his parents both scolded him.  He shrugged non chalantly and went back to staring at me intently, and I suddenly felt in his deep penatrating gaze.

"Look," I said, taking in a deep, shaky breath. "I don't want to get married. At all. Probably never will. So can we please just not do this?"

The table was silent, and I considered bursting into tears for dramatic effect. But I didn't want to make myself look bad infront of the Kim family, for some unknown reason. My eyes kept sliding up towards Jaejoong, as if he was a magnet that I was undeniably attracted to. He kept his eyes on me as well, and everytime our gazes met, I looked back down.

"Well, perhaps we could," my mother said uneasily, but Jaejoong interrupted her.

"Seohyun. Can I talk to you outside?" he said sweetly. Rising, he quickly strode to my end of the table, grabbed my arm, and yanked me up dragging me towards the door. I considered screaming, and he seemed to sense it, for he tightened his grip on my arm and slipped his hand down to take my own. He led me towards the back doors of the restaurant, me following clumsily behind. Finally, we reached a balcony and stepped out into the cold night air, breathing in the calm scents. I shivered in the dark, my bare arms feeling raw and cold against my body when Jaejoong suddenly wrapped his arms around  me and buried me into his chest. I breathed in his scent, smelling a bit of cologne and a yummy aftershave, and  I tentatively hugged him back, only doing so 'cause I would rather not freeze my off. But I did it anyway, and I suppose that's what mattered.

"Just listen," he whispered into my ear. "Don't say a word. Think. Imagine all the good times we would have if we were married. We could get to know each other. We could listen and be friends. We could fall in love. It'd be good for our parents' companies. We could go slow, Seohyun. I'd take care of you for forever. I'd love you."

"Forever is a long time," I whispered, frozen tears beginning to slip down my cheeks. Suddenly, I was sobbing, my whole life just smashing in front of me. I knew, I knew, I knew, that I would marry Kim Jaejoong. And there was nothing I could do about it. I would marry him not because I loved him. But because I knew it was the right thing to do. My parents planned this for years, and I knew if I didn't marry him, there would be some going down.

He pushed my hair back, and wiped away my tears. "Just remember that I will always pick you up when you fall, and you can always lean on me. Don't worry about anything."

I nodded and leaned against him, allowing him to wrap his arms around me once more. I let myself sink into his embrace, feeling his heartbeat merge with my own, and faintly wondered when I had ever felt so complete.

~~~~