pairing: BaekLay
length: 1367 words

It was that time again when Baekhyun felt nostalgic and sentimental as he trawled through boxes that contained memoirs of the past.

He carefully took out the picture frames, slightly dusty from lack of attention over the last few months, and fixed his resolute gaze on each photo that lay inside for several seconds before placing them next to him on the thick carpet he was kneeling on. Once all of the framed pictures were removed from the boxes and stacked neatly, Baekhyun moved his attention to the collection of albums. They were categorized into two sections: EPs and full-length albums, and ordered chronologically.

It had been ages since he last listened to the oldest songs from the extensive discography, so he slid out the journal-like album from the second section and opened it to take out the barely touched disc. His laptop had a built-in CD player, so Baekhyun inserted the disc into the side and pressed Play on the media program that popped up. Familiar instrumentals filled the air and the male laughed quietly to himself as he set the laptop on his bed before returning to the boxes, leaving the disc to play the track listing in the background.

His fingertips then lightly brushed against the edges of the thick photobooks that contained thousands of memories of times shared with the brothers he loved the most. With a small smile on his still youthful face, Baekhyun cracked open the first photobook and delicately flipped through the glossy pages. Once in awhile, his right pointer finger would trace over the faces that were imprinted on the pages and his mind wandered as he thought back to those vacations. Though if he were honest with himself, they weren’t truly vacations since he had been contracted to travel to those beautiful locations, but it still felt better to remember them as holiday trips. It made Baekhyun’s insides feel warm and fuzzy whenever he glanced over the captured smiles and round eyes that were shining brightly, accentuated by the masterful lighting in the photos.

After reminiscing with the photobooks, Baekhyun noticed the worn-out diary that lay at the bottom of one of the boxes. And, as if it were fate, the next song to play unleashed a stream of memories that he had tried to keep locked away. Just as the lyrics spoke, sung in rich deep tones, Baekhyun brushed away the collected dust and opened up the diary. He was hit with the stark reminders of the one who had always seemed separate from the rest, which was no fault of his. The neat handwriting, the lamb stickers, and the dozens upon dozens of lyrics written inside with the tiny pictures of that familiar soft eye-smile taped inside to break up the linearity took Baekhyun back to the glory years when he would lay on hotel beds and decorate the small diary while beautiful songs were being created. He trembled slightly as the feelings hit him like a truck, not quite prepared to face the reality of the past but not wanting to forget those precious memories of wonderful days.

♪ It's a bit sad that I can't go back to those times ♪

Yes, he had to agree. Funny how the words he had sung so long ago were ringing true now.

Baekhyun suddenly felt the need to watch several fan-taken videos he had saved on his laptop. Even though the others had thought it a bit strange, stating that the official recordings were much higher-quality, Baekhyun had paid them no mind and continued with saving the clips he had found on various SNS accounts.

And there they were. Dressed in their crisp white shirts and black pants when the familiar chants of the instrumental track began to play. Baekhyun chuckled as he watched Chen approach him and Lay in the first video clip, about to join them before realizing that they wanted to perform this song with just the two of them. The younger male just smiled and gave Baekhyun a quick pat on the arm before turning away to find someone else to sing with. Baekhyun didn’t even remember who Chen had ended up singing with that night. The memory of Lay’s arm securely around his waist had seared itself into his mind and left no room for unnecessary details.

He continued playing clip after clip as he relived the hip-shaking dances, the gentle caresses, and the slight kisses that were all captured on camera. Baekhyun remembered feeling as if time had stopped for them whenever he made eye contact with Lay that night during this specific song; the stage was theirs and theirs alone in those moments. The last few video clips were the most heart-wrenching, especially when his own voice was currently singing about those moments in the background.

Baekhyun wished Lay was with him right now. He wished he could act like a clumsy fool around his favorite person once again. He wished he could run straight into Lay’s arms and hug him tightly, feeling the warmth and comfort that the other male provided at all times.

When they had all separated and gone off in their own directions, Baekhyun remembered feeling so lonely. That sensation of heart-pounding ecstasy, of thrill and wonder, that had previously been there when Lay was with him was now gone. Even though he had done his best to ward off the haters, had done his best to kiss away Lay’s silent tears whenever the Chinese male was feeling overwhelmed with the daunting expectations that rode on his shoulders, Baekhyun had been left alone in the end. Just like wispy clouds that drifted away, Baekhyun’s heart had also drifted away when Lay left him.

Without realizing it, his heartbeat began accelerating once more as he thought about the man he loved most. No matter how hard he tried, Baekhyun couldn’t erase the memories he had created with Lay during their time as EXO members together. So that was why he had learned to embrace the sentimental and nostalgic part of him that few people knew of. Although it was still necessary for him to box away all of the EXO paraphernalia he owned for majority of the time, Baekhyun revisited the best times of his life every so often and lived vicariously through these mementos. He felt masochistic for doing so, knowing that it wasn’t fine that Lay was no longer with him.

The diary still lay open on the bed where he had left it after deciding to watch old videos of EXO’s concert performances. Baekhyun curled up his slender hands into tight fists, small crescents forming from the pressure of his fingernails digging into his palms, and screwed his eyes shut as more memories washed over him. Thoughts of how Lay was doing now—without him—and if the other male had changed since the day their paths diverged were slicing at Baekhyun’s heart. It took several moments for him to compose himself before he was able to open his eyes again and reach for the worn-out diary.

Baekhyun turned to the last page that contained the speech he wished he had said to Lay before they all separated, but couldn’t bring himself to read a single word of it. He was too much of a coward, staying silent when he could have changed everything by speaking up then and now forcing himself to relive the pain of the past by refusing to let go of what could never be. It was a childish thing to do, but even though he had physically grown older as the years passed, his mentality was still the same as it was since standing on the same stage as Lay did when they were still together.

But then, Baekhyun was reminded of why he so stubbornly continued to hold onto his memories of EXO and of Lay.

The last verse played.

♪ Our story is not over
Because we will meet again ♪

One day… One day, he would find Lay. He would find Lay and pick up from where they left off all those years ago.

Baekhyun refused to let this story conclude without a happy ending.

♈♈♈

A/N: Happy fifth anniversary to our lovely boys of EXO! I am so proud of our boys and they've come so far in such a short amount of time. They've broken so many records, sold so many albums, and brought so much happiness into our lives and their own. Even though the road has been tough for these boys especially, they've managed to overcome all of the adversity and they are truly one of the legends of K-Pop. I will always stan this group and I hope that it's smoother sailing from here on out for EXO, because they've had their fair share of hardships. Not to mention, I feel so blessed to have been able to learn about what gems these boys are and SME is spoiling us with Baekhyun's first solo Station song! Getting a solo from one of my biases right before my birthday is such a gift, so thank you SME and Baekhyun for being your wonderful selves! I've watched the teaser for Baekhyun's solo song a billion times already and I just know it's going to be amazing. I can't wait to see EXO perform live again in a few weeks, even though I wish Lay could be there. But he's doing a lot of great stuff in China right now and I'm so proud of how far he's come as a soloist. And to lovely Chen, I'm so happy that he's feeling better lately and having lots of fun with the CBX crew. Them preparing a Japanese debut already is such a great surprise and I can't wait for the release!

I've been working on this triple update for the past week, so I could release these stories in time for the anniversary. Not to mention, I've now reached fifty stories for this collection! For me, this is a great feat and I couldn't have done it without the support of all of you! Reading the comments you guys leave me always makes my day and it's really heartwarming to know that you all are enjoying these short stories! These past few months, updates have been very scarce and I apologize for it. Not to mention, requests have been very slow, although I'm just about caught up! School work, lab research, and club duties have been taking over my life lately. I've also piled a lot onto my plate in terms of personal projects, so it's just a matter of time management.

For the fiftieth story, I had been planning to write with Peter Pan as my inspiration since the very beginning, because this is a big milestone. Peter Pan is one of my absolute favorite songs from EXO's discography, so I wanted to honor it. A lot of people have mixed feelings towards the song, which I can respect because everyone has different music tastes. But for me, this song is one of the best EXO songs to have been created and its lyrics are just beautiful. Not to mention, it's a song that makes me feel good and as a person whose mood is greatly affected by music, I need more songs like Peter Pan to exist. Although Peter Pan isn't my number one favorite EXO song, it's a very close second. I'd love to know what your favorite EXO songs are! Anyway, I hope you all have been well and I will try my very best to be back as soon as possible! Have a lovely day and once again, happy fifth anniversary to EXO!