pairing: BaekChen
length: 1790 words
A/N: This is my first time writing a stream-of-consciousness, first-person POV type of story. And there's a lot more crack in this one. I'm not good at being funny, but I really wanted to write this scenario out. Sorry in advance if it makes you cringe.

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I hate Mondays.

It’s so hot right now. Why does summer always have to be so hot? And walking to the subway station in this heat . I really should start begging for that car. This is basically torture. How can Mom and Dad just leave me alone in the mornings to fend for myself?! I’m going to be burnt toast by the time summer ends. I’ll have to be a hermit for weeks so this blasted tan will disappear.

Finally, some shade. Ugh, these traffic lights take forever to turn green. I just want to cross the street and be on my merry way. Just kidding. I’m not merry at all right now. Not at all. Is it like 100 degrees today or something? Seriously, I’m melting. Ew, I can feel the sweat forming on my nose. This is so gross.

Oh, there goes the train. WAIT, IS THAT MY TRAIN? Oh no, this is bad. Very bad. I can’t be late for work again! This’ll be the third time this week if I don’t catch this train. MOVE THESE WEAK STICK LEGS OF YOURS, BAEKHYUN. Wait, this train is going east… You’re an idiot. Your train goes west, remember? This is how you ended up on the wrong train last week, you idiot. But thank god, at least I didn’t miss my train this time.

I guess I have time to kill before it gets here. Man, whoever runs this subway needs to release an official train schedule and stick to it, so I don’t have to wait in this heat. This . Now, let’s see what’s happening on Facebook. Nothing new, just like always. Wait, did Chanyeol get a new car? And he didn’t tell me?! That’s it, I’m not paying for dinner the next time we hang out, even if I did lose the bet on who can down the most shots in three minutes.

But in my defense, I didn't want to end up like how that giant did that night. And I even had to clean up after him. Ugh, I don’t even know why I agreed to the bet. He just wanted an excuse to drink that night when honestly, all I wanted was to play League of Legends. The new URF mode is super fun. But no, we had to go to some random bar he recently found instead.

Yes, the train is finally here. Oh thank god, there aren’t many people in this car. I hate sitting next to people. I just need my personal space, you know? I guess I’ll just play around on my phone until I reach my stop. Just like how I do every single day. Wow, my life is boring. Being an adult . Who said adulthood was the best part of life? Because it’s definitely not as amazing as everyone makes it out to be.

Oh my gosh. Wait. The guy that just sat across from me is super cute. Holy cow. He’s not just cute. He’s hot. Like supermodel level hot. Like, if I didn’t know any better, I would think he was a celebrity. Wait, is he a celebrity? I don’t think he is. I would definitely remember seeing his face on a magazine or the Internet or something. How is a mere mortal blessed with such god-like features?

Great, now I feel self-conscious about my looks. Chanyeol always teases me and says I look like a kid. It’s not my fault I have a baby face! At least I won’t age as quickly as that gigantic jerk will. Hmph, my mother always tells me that looking younger than your age is the best gift anyone can have. So take that, Chanyeol!

Ooh, it looks like my mystery man is a very well-read guy. He’s the only one on the train reading a book, while everyone else is on their phones. Not gonna lie, but intelligence is hot. And his hands are so pretty with those slender, pale fingers lightly turning the pages of his book. What I wouldn’t give to be those pages right now.

Hold up. Are you listening to yourself right now? GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, BYUN BAEKHYUN. You don’t even know the man! Do you know how weird you sound right now? Fantasizing and staring at him like he’s the last meal on Earth? Hey, that was kind of poetic. No, stop getting distracted. THESE ARE UNACCEPTABLE THOUGHTS.

But I’m just admiring him. And his sharp jaw line. And his defined cheekbones. And his perfect skin. And oh my gosh, his smile is killing me right now. I should start reading again. Maybe then we can bond over whatever he’s smiling about so I can see that smile again, but it’ll be aimed at me and—

PAUSE THAT THOUGHT. HE IS LOOKING UP. PRETEND YOU ARE VERY ENGROSSED IN WHATEVER IS ON YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW. Wow, this picture of Chanyeol’s new car is so interesting. I have not been staring at you and your perfection for the last ten minutes. No, I have not. I’ve just been looking at this super interesting car and crying to myself because that jerk didn’t tell me about it at all.

Oh, good, he was just looking to see which stop we were at. He looked straight past me. Wait, is that a good thing? If his gaze didn’t linger on me for even a brief moment, does that mean he doesn’t think I’m attractive? Am I just a plebeian who is unworthy of this kingly man? I knew I should’ve gotten up earlier to do my hair today. That’s what I get for starting that new drama last night.

But do you know who has nice hair? That faultless man sitting three feet away from me. Maybe I should ask him where he gets his hair styled. And his eyebrows are actually really nice too. Now that I think about it, I haven’t done my eyebrows in awhile. Wait, that’s bad. Okay, first thing I’ll do when I’m on my lunch break today is call Chanyeol and tell him to ask his sister if she’ll fix my eyebrows this weekend. They cannot be left as a travesty any longer.

I should ask him where he buys his outfits too. Because wow, he is suited up and looking super fly. Do kids even say that nowadays? Who cares. I can still be hip even if I graduated years ago. Oh my gosh, I need to strangle myself. Thank goodness he can’t hear any of my thoughts. That would be the worst thing that could ever happen. Because if this attractive gentleman knew what I was thinking about him right now, I would have to make Chanyeol buy me a plane ticket to Antarctica so I can spend the rest of my lonely life with the penguins.

Oh no, my stop is coming up in a few minutes. That means I’ll have to leave this beautiful man whom I may never see in this lifetime ever again. And since I will never find anyone as perfect as him, I have now been forever doomed to die alone. No one will ever live up to my atrociously high standards that have just been set because of this man who just became the love of my life.

Well, it was lovely seeing you and I hope that you have an equally beautiful significant other, so the two of you can have beautiful kids that my future kids can meet and get married to. That’s the only way I can ever see us being together. Goodbye, my love…

Wait, who’s tapping my shoulder?

OH NO, IT’S HIM. WHAT DO I DO? OH MY GOD, HE JUST TOUCHED ME. WHY IS HE TOUCHING ME? SOMEONE HELP ME. I’M ABOUT TO PASS OUT.

“Hey, I couldn’t help notice you staring at me for most of the ride.”

Oh my god, he has the voice of angel. I think I’ve actually died. This is heaven. There’s no way this isn’t. Sorry, Chanyeol. You’re going to need to find a new drinking buddy. Wait, did he just say that he noticed me staring at him?

This is very bad. He’ll probably tell me off for being a creep and then I can kiss goodbye that 0.01% chance I had of ever getting together with him. Gosh darn it, Baekhyun, can’t you be subtle for once?

“I don’t think anyone has ever stared at me so openly before.”

This is it. If I’m not dead now, I will be as soon as this conversation is over. I guess my only saving grace is that we’ve left the subway train, so no one is here to witness the most embarrassing moment of my short life. And Chanyeol isn’t here to tease me, so thank god for that. He will NEVER know of this moment. Ever.

“And well, I thought it was kind of cute how you were ogling me.”

Wait, did I hear him right? Did he just say I was cute? DID HE JUST COMPLIMENT ME, DESPITE MY KIND OF CREEPY BEHAVIOR? This can’t possibly be real. I must be dreaming. Yes, I am still at home, in bed, and having this ludicrous dream. That’s why he’s so perfect. Because he’s a figment of my imagination.

“I can’t really stay and talk right now, since I’ve got to get to work on time. But here’s my number if you ever want to get a meal together.”

He…he has a business card in his hand…that he’s giving to me… To me… TO ME. HE IS GIVING ME HIS NUMBER. THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. Okay, stay cool, Baekhyun. Good, keep a steady hand as you take that card and nod like a normal person. DON’T MESS THIS UP.

“Anyway, I’ve got to head out now so I’m not late. By the way, I’m Kim Jongdae.”

EVEN HIS NAME IS BEAUTIFUL. A LARGE, GOLDEN BELL KIND OF BEAUTIFUL. I feel like crying. Thank you, higher powers, for giving me this moment. I will never sin in my life ever again.

“I hope you call me soon, Mr. Byun Baekhyun.”

Oh my god. He. Just. Winked. At. Me. And now he’s walking away. Hold up one moment, how did he know my name? I was too star-struck to say anything. IS HE MAGICAL? I knew he was too good to be real. Oh wait, I’m wearing my work nametag. Duh. HOLD ON, THAT MEANS HE WAS LOOKING AT ME. Baekhyun, you are one lucky man.

And Mr. Kim Jongdae, or soon-to-be-my-boyfriend, I shall call you soon. Very soon.

Ew, I sounded like such a sleazeball just now. Just shut up and go to work.

♈♈♈