pairing: ChenLay
length: 1455 words

Black splotches appeared in his vision, his eyelids felt so heavy as they threatened to close several times, and he could feel his head spin dizzily, because god, he was just so exhausted.

When was the last time he had seen his bed? When was the last time he had properly slept for more than a handful of hours at a time? Did sleep even really exist or was it just a myth?

These nonsensical thoughts swirled around Yixing’s mind as he trudged through the SM Entertainment building to the practice room he had reserved for the night. He felt like dropping onto the clean wooden floor and knocking out immediately, but of course, he didn’t have that luxury.

There was still too much to do. Work on his solo album. Participate in group album recordings. Attend photo shoot after photo shoot. Film for his variety shows and movies. Compose new songs. Learn choreography. Audition for more acting projects. Fly every few days to wherever his new destination was.

Practice, more practice, and even more practice.

Yixing didn’t think he would even remember to eat if it weren’t for his manager bringing him small meals in between the short breaks he had. Not that it really mattered. At this point, he only ate to survive. He had gotten used to the feeling of hollowness in his stomach by now. It had started off with loud grumblings before transitioning to a dull ache before finally just melting into a perpetual sensation of emptiness within him, which Yixing preferred to the noises his stomach made since they were disruptive and slightly embarrassing.

What was today? Was it Thursday or Friday? Tuesday or Wednesday? Or maybe it was Saturday. Although he supposed he didn’t really need to keep track what day of the week it was since for him, weekends were just the same as weekdays. Every day blended together with dozens of schedules for him to fulfill.

Well, what was today’s date then? Was it the twentieth? The twenty-first? Oh well, honestly, it didn’t really matter. The only date that mattered was the twenty-eighth. Because that was when he would be going home for the first time in a long time.

Changsha’s prince was coming home.

--

Everyone was preparing for their upcoming vacations.

Baekhyun, Junmyeon, Chanyeol, Minseok, and Sehun were all leaving to Hawaii for the company workshop with the other SM Entertainment employees and artists who had free time this coming week. Yixing wasn’t too bummed out that he wasn’t going. It wasn’t like he was the only EXO member not going to Hawaii. Kyungsoo had also opted to skip out on the company trip to take care of Jongin while fulfilling a promise to attend his friend’s musical. The acting idol hadn’t felt the magnetizing pull of Hawaii that had in everyone else. He was perfectly fine with staying in Korea and he hadn’t wanted Jongin to stay alone in the dorm while everyone else was out of the country.

For Yixing, it was that he would much rather return home to Changsha, even if it was just for two days since he also had obligations to fulfill in Beijing during the week, and revel in the familiar comfort provided by the city he had grown up in.

Especially because Jongdae was coming with him.

It would be the younger male’s first time in Changsha as Kim Jongdae, not as Chen of EXO. And Yixing couldn’t be more excited to vacation with his favorite person in the world. Jongdae could’ve chosen to go to Hawaii with the other five EXO members, but instead, he had approached the Chinese male to ask if it would be okay to go to China with him.

Of course Yixing had said, “Yes,” to Jongdae’s request. A thousand times over.

“I don’t want to pressure you or anything,” Jongdae said shyly. “I…just thought it would be fun to visit your hometown with you, but if you’d rather go alone to spend time with your family, I totally understand and—”

But Yixing’s answer would never change. With Jongdae, all of the pressure he felt from everyone else disappeared. Jongdae never expected anything from him.

Because in Jongdae’s eyes, Yixing was already perfect.

“You don’t need to prove anything,” Jongdae insisted when he found Yixing blankly staring at dozens of news articles and forum comments, all speaking ill of the remaining Chinese EXO member. “Think about what you want, not what they want.”

Such easy words to say. But they were much harder to live by.

Yixing wished he could be as courageous and independent as Jongdae was.

--

He was debating whether or not he should sleep on the couch tonight, since he didn’t want to disturb a resting Jongdae. Yixing had just flown back from China once again since EXO was performing on another music show the next day and he had promised that he would try to make every performance for this comeback. Even though his fingers ached and there was a throbbing pain in his midsection, Yixing would rather spend another night on the couch instead of accidentally waking up Jongdae while he clumsily moved around their shared bedroom to get into bed, especially since the younger male currently had an eye infection.

So with a deep sigh, he grabbed a thin blanket that was laying on the nearby armchair and settled onto the couch while trying his best not to put pressure on his injured waist. He was willing to bear the temporary pain, even though he knew he’d be scolded if anyone found him. Admittedly, this exhausting lifestyle wasn’t the best. But Yixing couldn’t think of any other way that would allow him to accomplish everything that he needed to.

He did what he could and tried to make the most out of every moment.

Just as Yixing was about to fall into a light sleep, he heard soft shuffling noises coming towards him from the hallway.

“Yixing? Are you back?” It was Jongdae who was carefully moving through the dark, his eyes still shielded by his large sunglasses.

“I’m here,” the Chinese male called softly, not wanting to wake up the other members who were sound asleep in their own bedrooms.

Jongdae managed to use the wall to feel his way to the living room and used his memory to figure out where the couch was to get to Yixing. The older male blearily sat up, rubbing his eyes with one hand and reaching out the other for Jongdae to grab. When the Korean male successfully navigated to the couch, Yixing rearranged the blanket so that it was covering them both as they snuggled. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t asleep yet. But why are you still up? Shouldn’t you be resting so that your infection doesn’t get worse?” Yixing asked worriedly.

The younger male was silent for several moments before saying in a downcast manner, “I can’t go to Changsha with you anymore. I’m getting surgery and the doctor said I wouldn’t be able to travel for a few days after the surgery. I’m sorry…”

Yixing would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed. Because he had been anticipating this short trip for ages now. Wanting and waiting to bring Jongdae to his childhood home.

But he couldn’t be upset with his roommate, especially seeing how upset Jongdae looked over delivering such news. Yixing couldn’t fault him for this. Not that he had ever planned to.

So the Chinese male just snuggled even closer to Jongdae and murmured, “I’d much rather have you get well soon instead of risk hurting your eyes even more. And Kyungsoo will be home to take care of you, so I won’t have to worry while I’m away.”

“I still wish I could go with you,” Jongdae responded quietly. “I was planning on making sure you rest, because at this rate, you’re going to collapse.”

Yixing knew that as well. He could feel his body weakening as the days passed. Despite that, the perfectionist within him forced him to continue working, even though every other part of him was exhaustedly screaming for him to rest.

But right now, he was willing to stay on this couch and sleep for as long as he needed to, just to alleviate his roommate’s concerns. Funny how it only took one sentence from Jongdae for Yixing to consider actually slowing down, even for just a moment. “Stay with me tonight? Since you can’t come with me to Changsha?”

And Jongdae smiled, the ends of his thin lips curling up even more than they already did. “Of course. Why else do you think I’m here?”

♈♈♈