pairing: BaekChenLay
length: 2017 words
A/N: This is one of two possible endings of Be Happy, written at the request of ShaMusume! The alternative ending is A Second Chance.

--

But what was happiness?

Jongdae didn’t think he knew. His mind was still reeling from the revelation of Yixing’s long overdue confession. Everything that he had thought to be the truth had actually been a lie and everything that he had thought to be a lie had actually been the truth. The time from when his relationship with Yixing had first begun falling apart until this turning point became a complete muddle in the younger male’s brain. Jongdae honestly wasn’t sure what was real anymore.

And there was Baekhyun to factor into the picture now.

Oh god, Baekhyun...

“I-I need to think…I have to think about this…” Jongdae choked out as he felt his head throb with discomfort. He pushed himself up from the table, almost stumbling as he did, but when Yixing started towards the younger male to help him, Jongdae quickly righted himself before the elder male could touch him. “I’ll…I’ll call you later.”

Yixing nodded, his lips pursed together tightly in a thin line. “My phone number is still the same,” he added quietly. The older male wanted so badly to wrap his arms around Jongdae and tenderly move his fingers through his ex-husband’s hair while he murmured in his ear that everything would be okay if they could just work through this obstacle. But Yixing knew he didn’t have that right anymore. Not until Jongdae accepted him back on his own admission with open arms.

So the older male just silently watched as Jongdae left the café with his head bowed down and his hands stuffed into his jeans pockets.

--

The next few weeks were agonizing for Jongdae. He couldn’t shake Yixing’s earnest pleas from his mind nor could he forget the excruciating pain that had wracked his entire existence when the two of them had divorced. Just when he thought he was about to finally move on with the next chapter of his life, it was like someone had folded down the upper corner of the last page of the previous chapter with Yixing and this dog-eared page signaled that he wasn’t quite yet done with this man who had caused whirlwinds to blow through his mangled heart.

It just wasn’t fair. Why, why, why did he have to suffer so much because of a relationship? Even as a single man, relationship troubles were still plaguing him. Jongdae had finally become accustomed to being on his own after three long years and now, his life had turned upside-down once more.

As he thumbed through the large photo albums that carried the precious memories of an eight-year-long relationship for the umpteenth time, Jongdae could feel his heart clench as his fingers lightly traced the captured smiles underneath the glossy covers. Those happy days felt like they belonged in another lifetime, in another universe, yet he still remembered them as if they had happened just yesterday. Each moment was crystal clear in Jongdae’s memory, but that also meant the inflicted hurt was that much more magnified.

Nothing made sense anymore.

His border collie padded over to his side and pushed her snout under one of his hands, silently asking Jongdae to pet her. The distressed man obliged, rhythmically the smooth fur, and his dog panted happily when he scratched behind her large furry ears. As he continued petting his border collie, Jongdae glanced down once more at the photo album in his lap. He glanced down once more at his past.

--

Kim Jongdae
We need to talk. When are you free?

Byun Baekhyun
I can do Saturday afternoon.

Kim Jongdae
Okay. Can we meet at our usual café?

Byun Baekhyun
Sure.

Kim Jongdae
Thanks. I’ll see you then.

--

Baekhyun slid into the seat across from Jongdae and sent the younger male a beaming smile, happy to hang out with the man who had become one of his best friends in such a short time. “What’s up?”

“Why did you make me meet Yixing?” Jongdae asked immediately, forgoing any prelude to ease into the conversation.

Baekhyun’s smile slightly faltered at the sight of the younger male’s ice-cold expression. “Is that why you wanted to meet?”

“Yixing asked that I take him back.”

“Do you want him back?”

“Tell me why you set us up first,” Jongdae said firmly, refusing to let the older male steer the conversation.

Baekhyun fiddled with his hands for several moments before looking directly into Jongdae’s eyes and saying, “I like you, Jongdae. I like you a lot. You’re caring, considerate, and down-to-earth. You’re so much fun to talk to and hang out with. You’ve made me feel a lot of things that I haven’t felt in a very long time.

“But you’re also hurt and broken. You’re sensitive and scared to commit to someone new. You’re afraid that you’ll be let down again, like how Yixing let you down several years ago. I know that a small part of you is still holding onto him, because you still love him even if you tell yourself that you don’t.

“It would be rude and self-centered of me to pursue you while you still have Yixing in your heart. That’s unfair to everyone and we’ll just end up hurting each other if I do. You’re too important for me to ruin our friendship because I selfishly want to be with you while you might not want to be with me.

“So I called up Yixing, because I wanted to give everyone a chance. I wanted to give Yixing a chance to explain what really happened back then. I wanted to give myself a chance to win you over fairly. I wanted to give you a chance to be happy again, should you want to return to Yixing or move on instead to someone else.

“I know it might’ve been out of line for me to involve myself in your and Yixing’s problems, but the two of you are really important to me. I couldn’t just let this issue continue festering. You don’t need to be frightened of loving someone, whether it’s Yixing or me or even someone completely new. Jongdae, you deserve to be happy.”

God, what was it with these men and their monologues that turned Jongdae into an absolute mess the moment he listened to them speak? He had been prepared to chastise Baekhyun for butting in when he shouldn’t have, since Jongdae had been so confused after meeting Yixing. But now, hearing the sincere intent behind Baekhyun’s actions, the younger male didn’t have the heart to rebuke his friend.

Baekhyun only had his best interests at heart. Jongdae couldn’t fault him for that.

“Are…you mad at me?”

The older male was looking at him with such a beseeching look that Jongdae couldn’t help but sigh and answer with a small smile, “No, I’m not. Thank you for caring so much about me, Baekhyun. I’ll…I’ll give you an answer once I’ve sorted out my feelings. I’m just really confused right now.”

Baekhyun nodded, smiling brightly once more. “Take as much time as you need, Jongdae.”

--

Yixing or Baekhyun. Yixing or Baekhyun. Yixing or Baekhyun.

Yixing or Baekhyun.

Jongdae was lying on his bed, staring up at the barely visible ceiling in the shadowy room. He never could have imagined that he would ever have to make such a choice. But here he was now, trying to decide between two men who had made an impact on his life. If he wasn’t so concerned about the monumental decision he was about to make, he would’ve laughed at the entire situation. It was like something out of a K-drama. Who knew he would’ve ended up as the stereotypical main lead that had two others fighting for his attention.

Well, Yixing and Baekhyun weren’t fighting each other, per se. It was more of them delivering their heartfelt feelings during those one-on-one sessions with him and waiting on the sidelines for Jongdae to let his heart lead him to one of them. The pensive man was burdened by the sudden onslaught of affections tossed his way, but he knew the longer he pushed off the inevitable, the more anxious he would become in the long run.

Jongdae didn’t know how long he laid there in the dark. It could’ve been minutes. It could’ve been hours. He really didn’t know. But after being in the same position for who knows how long, Jongdae finally got up from the bed.

He walked into the closet adjoined to the bedroom and pulled open one of the chest drawers in the very back. It held only one item: a pale yellow button-up shirt. Jongdae took it out and gently shook out the creases that had formed after sitting there for years without being touched. After staring at it for several seconds, he slowly walked out of the closet and walked to the bathroom to find a plastic bag. Once he found one in the bottom left cabinet, Jongdae carefully placed the shirt into the bag and tied it up. After exiting the bathroom and leaving the plastic bag on the dresser next to his bed, Jongdae crawled in between the covers, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

--

“My work schedule has been a little more hectic than usual since I was promoted last year. Baekhyun happened to be acquainted with the vendors I was trying to contract for a project and he helped me sign a deal that my boss really wanted. But now I’m a lot busier than I was before.”

Yixing smiled wryly as he answered, “I’m glad you’ve been doing better after we divorced since you had Baekhyun with you instead. You’ve decided, haven’t you.” It wasn’t a question. He knew why Jongdae had called him out today.

The younger male nodded, casting his eyes downwards. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Yixing. I was able to accomplish so much because you were at my side, supporting me every step of the way. But you were also the worst thing that ever happened to me. And you destroyed me completely when you gave me reasons to suspect you. I’m not saying that our divorce was entirely your fault,” Jongdae quickly said when he saw Yixing open his mouth to interrupt. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions without listening to your side. But we probably aren’t suited for each other if a misunderstanding can end an eight-year-long relationship. I’m so sorry, Yixing.” Tears began streaming down his face once he finished speaking.

“No, don’t be sorry, Jongdae,” Yixing answered firmly as he leaned over to pat away the tears from his ex-husband’s thin face. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I lost your trust through my negligence. And I’ve had three years to try to approach you, but I never did until Baekhyun came along to talk some sense into me. I’m really happy that he and Zitao have been there for you when I wasn’t. They’re good people.”

“They are,” Jongdae agreed as he sniffed, the tears slowly subsiding. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without them.”

“I know Baekhyun will be able to take good care of you,” Yixing said with that dimpled smile that had captured the younger male’s heart more than ten years. “He’ll succeed where I failed.”

Jongdae was glad that he and Yixing were able to gain closure. It was time for him to move on.

--

Jongdae took a deep breath as he looked at the man sitting in front of him. The man who had never failed to make him smile since meeting him on that fateful day three years ago. The man who had healed the numerous emotional scars and wounds that he thought would never disappear. There was no one else Kim Jongdae would entrust his heart to as he embarked on a new beginning in his life.

“Baekhyun, I’ve thought a lot about what you said the other day. And I’m finally ready to open my heart again. I’m finally ready to give myself another chance to learn to love someone.”

♈♈♈