pairing: BaekChen
length: 2513 words

Baekhyun exhaled deeply before squaring his shoulders and stepping through the entrance of the banquet hall. There were already dozens of people milling about, dressed in fancy suits or colorful dresses. Baekhyun himself was wearing a crisp navy blue tuxedo with a white shirt and a matching navy blue satin tie.

Luckily, no one seemed to have noticed his arrival, which was perfect. If he could get through this night without any fanfare, he’d consider it a success.

By arriving late, most people were already engrossed in conversations with one another, gleefully gossiping and downing drinks without abandon. Baekhyun managed to reach the refreshments table without anyone so much as sparing a glance at him. Letting out a sigh of relief, he picked up a flute of red wine and brought the glass to his lips, letting the dark liquid flow down his throat.

He hummed in satisfaction as he polished off the rest of the alcohol and set the empty glass down on a designated tray. Deciding he could use a little more of a buzz, he was about to pick up another glass when a vaguely familiar voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Baekhyun? Is that you? Oh, wow, I didn’t think you’d show up!”

Wincing, he silently counted to three in his head before slowly turning around. Baekhyun then found himself face-to-face with their high school valedictorian and student council president, Kim Jongdae.

Even though twenty years had passed since their high school days, Jongdae was still as impeccably dressed as he’d been as a young teenager. Tonight, he wore all black—tuxedo, shirt, and tie—and his hair looked perfectly coiffed, not a strand out of place. His jaw line was sharp and straight, and his skin was still smooth and pale with just the slightest of wrinkles starting to form at the edges of his bright eyes.

He was dashing and elegant, and Baekhyun found himself unable to focus on anything else aside from Jongdae’s radiant aura.

“You didn’t come to the ten-year reunion, so I thought you weren’t going to come to any of these,” the other male brightly continued, holding out his arm and guiding Baekhyun to an empty table where they could converse undisturbed.

“Er, yeah… I was…busy last time,” Baekhyun answered, folding his arms behind him as they walked in order to hide his sweaty palms since he couldn’t wipe them against his nice pants in good conscience—in front of Jongdae, no less. “But it’s been a long time, so…I figured I could make time this year to stop by and see what everyone else has been up to.”

Jongdae beamed like the sun. “Great!” He pulled out a chair for Baekhyun, waiting for the taller male to sit before settling in a seat next to him. “Sunmi and I have been working on this for the past year, so I’m really glad we managed to pull it off a second time. I wasn’t expecting as many people to come this year, since loads of us have kids to take care of now, but I think we got about a dozen more RSVPs this time than we did for the ten-year reunion.”

Baekhyun’s breath caught in his throat as he slowly asked, “Do you have kids now?”

The other male smiled ruefully and shook his head. “I did think about adopting a few years back, but that’s also when work started ramping up so I decided not to go through with my application in the end. I wouldn’t have been able to take care of a child by myself while juggling sixty-hour work weeks.”

Baekhyun inhaled sharply. “Sixty hours every week?!”

Jongdae chuckled. “You’re not much better, Mister Superstar. I’ve seen your Wikipedia page. You’re already in production for five dramas and the year has barely begun.”

This time, Baekhyun’s chest tightened and his fist curled in his lap, out of Jongdae’s sight. “Yeah… Like I said, super busy…”

Jongdae slightly tilted his head to the side, picking up on the actor’s discomfort, and softly asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah, no worries,” Baekhyun automatically answered, quirking up his thin lips into a lopsided smile. “But, uh, what’s been going on with you?” he hastily redirected before Jongdae could pry any further. “I haven’t kept up with anyone since graduation, so I’m completely out of the loop.”

Seeing the desperation in Baekhyun’s eyes, Jongdae nodded and smiled warmly as he propped his right elbow on the table and rested his chin against his palm. “Well, I got both my bachelor’s degree and my doctorate degree at SNU. I figured if I was going to put myself through the torture of medical school, I might as well suffer in an environment I was already used to and I got lucky enough that SNU wanted to keep me around for another four years after undergrad,” Jongdae recounted with a laugh.

“SNU was lucky to even get you as a student,” Baekhyun countered. “You were the golden kid of our high school. Every university wanted you.”

“And every other ‘golden kid’ attended a SKY university as well if they didn’t decide to study abroad at an Ivy League,” Jongdae gently reminded him. “I was honestly pretty average at SNU. And I realized I was okay with that. I think I ended up having a pretty good balance of social life, studies, and sleep, which kept me sane while I was there. I almost burnt out my first year, trying to keep up with everyone and do everything like I did in middle school and high school. When the field is completely saturated with the brightest kids in the country, it puts into perspective how ordinary you actually are.”

Baekhyun inwardly grimaced.

“But I had a pretty good run at the top, so I can’t really complain,” Jongdae continued with a slight shrug. “And I’d like to think that I’ve mellowed out quite a bit since high school.”

“No longer a stickler for rules?” the actor lightly jabbed.

“Well, that hasn’t changed, especially since I’m dealing with patients all the time,” Jongdae amended with a lopsided smile.

“What kind?”

Jongdae’s expression sobered as he answered, “Cancer patients. I ended up choosing oncology over orthopedics after my uncle suddenly passed away. It’s a cliché reason for switching, but one that felt right for me.”

Baekhyun lowered his gaze and murmured, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you,” the oncologist graciously replied. “It happened shortly after the ten-year reunion, so not many people here know yet. I don’t know how I would’ve pulled everything off for our first reunion if it’d happened before then. That being said, I’m also…used to everything that comes with the territory now. I see around twenty patients a day and we’re lucky if I only need to see them once or twice a year. But I do have a large bunch of regulars that I see every week, sometimes twice or three times a week if they’re coming in for chemotherapy.”

“That’s… I can’t even imagine what that’s like…” Baekhyun somberly said.

Jongdae nodded in agreement. “It’s busy, for sure. Hence no kids, especially since I don’t have a partner to help me out.”

There was a slight pause before the actor tentatively asked, “Did you just never end up finding someone or…?”

“I’ve had a few long-term relationships since high school, but none of them worked out for one reason or another. My most recent relationship, which was also my most serious one to date, ended right around the time I moved to my current clinic. So about five years ago?” Jongdae chuckled while shaking his head in mild disbelief. “Wow, has it really been that long? No wonder my mother’s constantly nagging me to find someone new. She’s probably worried I’ll die alone at this point.”

“Join the club,” Baekhyun joked, holding out his fist which Jongdae readily bumped with his own. “I can’t even go home for the holidays without my mom trying to set me up with ‘every eligible woman’ in the neighborhood. It’s exhausting having to fend them off.”

“And you’ve also got the media to worry about. I imagine Dispatch is waiting around all the time, so they can be the first to break the news of any relationship you start,” Jongdae added with a wry smile.

Baekhyun winced. “Yeah, it’s…not fun…”

There was a prolonged stretch of silence until the oncologist broke it by kindly saying, “Before I forget, I also wanted to congratulate you on your recent nomination for Best Male Actor. That’s an amazing feat in itself and I’ll be rooting for you during the awards ceremony next month.”

It felt as though a cold wind suddenly blew through the banquet hall and Baekhyun felt more exposed than ever, even though he was fully dressed. His knuckles turned white as he tightly gripped the arms of his seat, keeping himself anchored as best as he could. “Th-thanks,” he managed to choke out, keeping that tried and true smile pasted on his face.

But he knew Jongdae could see through it.

He knew that, despite all of the rave reviews he received about his acting prowess, there were some emotions he couldn’t conceal. Some emotions he couldn’t fake.

“Baekhyun…I hope I’m not overstepping any boundaries by asking…but I was wondering what happened to you after graduation,” Jongdae slowly said. “You just…disappeared off the face of the earth for fifteen years and then suddenly reappeared as a Hollywood actor. It’s an amazing feat and I’m incredibly happy about your success, but I can also tell that something’s bothering you about it all. You don’t have to tell me everything—or anything, honestly—if you’re not comfortable sharing. But if you need someone to listen, I’m here.” Jongdae’s voice softened as he added, “You were one of my best friends in high school. Even though we drifted apart after graduation, I never forgot you.”

And another dagger of guilt pierced through Baekhyun’s chest as he stared into Jongdae’s soft brown eyes that were filled with sincerity.

God, he was an absolute fraud compared to Jongdae.

How could he come clean to someone as smart and genuine as Jongdae?

Even if the oncologist thought otherwise, Jongdae was still “the golden boy” in his eyes. Hearing his story at this reunion was only further proving that point.

Whereas Baekhyun…

All he had were lies, lies, and more lies.

Impostor syndrome at its finest.

As Baekhyun broodingly stewed in his thoughts, another vaguely familiar voice rang out all of a sudden and the actor almost jumped out of his seat in fright. “Jongdae, everyone’s looking for you!”

“I’ll be right there, Minhwan—”

“Hold up, is this Baekhyun?” Minhwan suddenly swatted the actor’s back in excitement. “Oh my god, it is! Dude, where’ve you been all this time?” He wiggled his eyebrows as he added, “Too busy cozying up to the big shots?”

Baekhyun instantly paled and wished the ground could swallow him whole.

Jongdae, tactfully noting the uncomfortable atmosphere beginning to swirl around the actor, swiftly stood up and wrapped his arm around Minhwan’s shoulders to guide him away. “Oh, I just remembered, but Dongjun and Hyunwoo wanted to discuss our next golfing trip. We were thinking of heading to Jeju next month once the weather’s a bit warmer. Does that work with your schedule or should we…”

Jongdae’s voice gradually faded away as he and Minhwan disappeared into the crowd. And with both of them gone now, Baekhyun let out the breath he had been unconsciously holding before letting his head fall onto his arms, which were crossed over the table.

It was a mistake coming tonight.

He knew he wasn’t prepared to deal with all of the questions his old classmates would inevitably throw his way. Yet he still somehow thought that everything would be okay. That he could glide under the radar and be the one asking all of the questions.

But of course it wasn’t going to be like that.

Perhaps he should leave. Especially now that his only lifeline was occupied elsewhere.

And then, his phone suddenly dinged with a new email notification.

And Baekhyun’s stomach swirled with butterflies when he saw who it was from.

With shaky hands, he unlocked his phone and opened the email.

Hey, it’s Jongdae! I don’t have your number anymore, so I couldn’t text you. But I figured you’d gotten the reunion details somehow, so this was the next logical step and I hope it worked!

Anyway, there’s a back room cordoned off from the rest of the banquet hall. The door is behind the pillar that’s decorated with a bouquet of blue roses. No one else except Sunmi knows about it, but she won’t go near it tonight. If you need the space, you can hide there for as long as you want. And I can check in with you as soon as I’m done entertaining Minhwan. And I totally understand if you decide to leave early. Maybe we can hang out at my place another time if you’re more comfortable with that? If not, again, I totally understand.

Regardless, it was really great seeing you tonight, Baekhyun! You look great and I’ve missed you a lot over the years. And I know you’ll be able to overcome the obstacles you’re currently facing. No matter what, you’ll always be a star to me.

Baekhyun felt a pang in his chest and found himself rereading the last paragraph over and over again until his eyesight began to blur.

After shaking himself back to clarity, the actor surreptitiously glanced around him to make sure that no one was looking at him. Upon giving himself the all-clear, he sneakily made his way to the aforementioned pillar, which luckily had no groups hovering around since it was so far from the refreshments. The door almost perfectly blended into the background, save for the golden handle, and Baekhyun quietly slipped into the room.

It was just as fancy as the rest of the banquet hall, with its golden wallpaper and plush red velvet couches. But the emptiness of the room instantly made it feel homier and knowing that Jongdae would arrive soon instantly eased the actor’s jittery nerves.

Well, as soon as he knew Baekhyun had taken him up on his offer.

It took more time than it should have to compose a response thanks to his trembling fingers making typo after typo. But soon, the actor pressed Send before dropping his phone next to him and drawing his knees up to his chest while lying on his side, even though it’d create unseemly creases in his suit. He’d worry about that tomorrow.

Fifteen minutes later, the door quietly creaked open and Jongdae tiptoed inside before softly shutting it behind him.

And a fond smile appeared on his face when his gaze fell upon Baekhyun deep asleep on the couch.

He’d eventually have to wake him up once the reunion party was over, but for now, he’d let the weary actor take a well-deserved rest.

♈♈♈