Dear Mr. Kim JaeJoong,

I am eating small bits every day. I know you would want me healthy. I am doing this for you, you know? If you weren't here in my memory, my heart, I would have been gone by now.

And yet, I cannot eat enough to gain any weight. I will make up excuses, telling myself I will choke or something silly like that. I may happen, honestly! But I cannot bear bringing the food to my mouth.

It will make me fat, don't you know?

I still want to be like that girl you blushed around.

{ day 251. }