Dear Mr. Kim JaeJong,

Today, I have begun to doubt God. I have prayed and prayed, just like you told me to when times are bad.

But where is he to save me? You said God works in mysterious ways, but is suffering really the way he plans to save me? Maybe he is bringing me closer to you, but it doesn't feel like it. Right now, I am stuck in a living hell. The days drag on and on without you, and my life is short lived.

Or maybe this is all his plan. His plan to stop my grief. Maybe his plan to bring me closer to you?

I must face my reality some day. This is what I have believed the whole time. Nobody should suffer this way. Nobody should repent for others wrongs.

There is no God.

{ day 178. }

`

Sorry to Chirstians/Catholics. I don't want to offend anyone, but this chapter was supposed to be...how do I explain it? It should spark a bit of controversy. (: