Dear Mr. Kim JaeJoong,

I have not been out of bed in three days. Once again, I am in a phase of depression. It has gotten worse, and all I can think of is how everyone has left. All I can feel is self-pity. All I can ask is, “Why?”

Mr. Kim Junsu has left me. He left me alone. He left me for a “better future.” He had more important things, things more imporatant than me.

I expected it end this way.

Mr. Kim JaeJoong, I have not eaten, drank, or written to you in the past three days. Why am I feeling this self-pity? I hate this helpless feeling.

I wish it would leave. I wish it would leave as suddenly as you left.

The question is, will it leave forever?

Will you leave forever?

{ day 227. }