Dear Mr. Kim JaeJoong,

I went for a bike ride today. I rode into the city, only for a short while, though. My relapses are getting worse, the time intervals getting shorter every day. I may visit you soon.

The city was very crowded, full of people with grumpy looks on their faces. Do you look like that now, Mr. Kim JaeJoong? I wonder what your face looks like without me. Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you glad that your not beside me anymore?

I fell a couple of times in the city. I couldn't control myself, my eyes were flickering from the left to the right. The world was spinning. I couldn't walk very well, so I fell.

I came back home an hour after I left. I couldn't take the pain and slept in my bed. There were cuts and bruises from my falls. My reflexes are not working properly, my hands do not come in front of me to break my fall.

I just fall to the ground. There is no one to save me.

{ day 197. }