Dear Mr. Kim JaeJoong,

I have done nothing today. I have not moved an inch from my bed. I have not slept all night. I have not eaten since yesterday.

I take pity on myself, the emotion that you hate. It makes me feel bad that I feel this way, and the endless cycle continues.

Is this what depression feels like? The sense of helplessness that plagues me so. If you were here, it would be different.

So different.

We would be playing in the sun. Instead, I have closed the blinds, blocking the sun from heating my cold heart. My head has been buried under my sheets, they sheild the blank walls from staring at my puffy eyes. You would hate to see me in this state, but you are not here.

I wonder if you have ever been there for me. You have always been a bystander. I wonder why I fell in love with you.

Why did you fall in love with me? Your emotions have tormented me for so long. I ask you, please stop plaguing my thoughts.

My heart is hurting.

{ day 139. }

`
Please comment and subscribe! (: No silent readers. Maybe you can give me ideas as to what I should write next. Oh, and, sorry if this sounds too 'emo.' ): Writing saddening thing are even more fun than writing happy ones.