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Soojung

Jessica: Are you ready to go, Soojung?

Soojung: Can't we wait a little longer? My phone is dead, I need to charge it.

Mr. Jung: Baby, we've made a reservation already. Take your phone with you and you'll charge it at the restaurant.

Soojung: Okay... Let's go.

Mrs. Jung: Jaehyun! Let's go!

Jaehyun: Okay!

October 23 2016. It was the day before my birthday, and my family had decided to take me out to celebrate it before my sister had to leave for Hong Kong the next day.

Jessica: What's wrong? You've been looking troubled all this week long.

Jessica whispered as she sat next to me in the car. I turned to look at her before smiling.

Soojung: Nothing, don't worry.

She looked at me, probably not buying my answer, but she let it slide that time. We were still on the way to the restaurant and I was hoping that there were not that much people having dinner out that night.

My dad told me that he had made the reservation two weeks ago in anticipation of my birthday, but I personally think that he made it sooner to make sure I was going to celebrate it with them this year around. I found it cute, to be honest.

Plus he had nothing to worry about for this year because I don't think any of my friends would have had the time to celebrate it with me anyway. My members were too busy with their solo activities, and my boyfriend... well, we haven't been speaking that much lately.

After the SMTown concerts a month and a half ago, we left Japan, and both of us went back to doing our respective activities. Back at the time nothing looked different to me. But after that, we started talking less and less, or at least that is how I felt.

I am obviously not as busy as Jongin, so maybe that was why I had the time to think about all of this, but I just started noticing little things that bothered me.

Jongin is a very passionate person, and that is also one of the many reasons why I am so in love with him, but I feel like he puts this passion before his own well-being. It is not a new thing for me to nag him about his health, but I think that because of all the time he has spent being on the side watching s perform, he has become sensitive to the subject.

I remember that last time we talked, we argued about it, and that was two weeks ago. In normal times I would not have minded not talking to him because I know that he is just trying to focus on his work, but since we had an argument, I had a harder time accepting the lack of communication.

I unconsciously let out a long sight, making my siblings turn to look at me.

Jaehyun: Noona, are you okay? You've been pretty calm lately.

Jaehyun asked, concern filling his voice. He was sitting on Jessica's left while she was in the middle, so he had to lean forward to see me.

Soojung: Hm?

Jaehyun: You just sighed. Is something wrong?

Jessica: I think she is just tired.

Jessica said, trying to help me find an excuse. I nodded my head at my brother, confirming it.

Jaehyun: You should go to bed as soon as we get back home. I'll make you a cup of hot chocolate if you want to.

I smiled at my baby brother and playfully ruffled his hair before replying.

Soojung: I would love that.

He smiled and leaned back against his seat. We were still on our way to the restaurant, listening to the radio.

Mr. Jung: This reminds me of old times when we used to drive you to school in San Francisco. I didn't think I missed it, but this makes me too happy.

My father laughed at his own realization, making us all smile at the memory.

Jessica: Jae was too young to remember that time, but Soojung and I perfectly do. It was our favorite car rides.

Soojung: We used to blast music and all of us sang along!

Mrs. Jung: Jaehyun was just a baby but he used to dance in his seat every time we put music on. If I thought that those little babies of ours would grow up to become superstars...

We all chuckled, reminiscing the nice memories. Sometimes I missed that simplicity of our lives, but I know that I can always find it in the arms of my parents. The warmth and love that I need will always be in their embrace.

Mr. Jung: Let's create those memories for Jaehyun then!

My father changed the station and stopped when he heard a familiar song. It was JYP's Honey.

Mrs. Jung: I love this song! Nunbichi majuchineun sungan! Nan sumeul swil suga eopseotji!

My mother started singing, taking us all by surprise. Jessica and I started giggling when she started dancing to it a bit.

Mr. Jung: Geudaeya mallo haneuri naeryeojushin! Jinjeonghan HONEY iji! Sing it with us, kids!

My father followed suit. He did not need to ask twice, because my brother, my sister and I started singing along with them.

"HEY geogi geurae jagi waenmanhamyeon naege oji"

Mrs. Jung: Hey!

"Uri yeogieseo duri meotjin bameul hamkke haji!"

Mrs. Jung: Yeah!

"OH! HONEY Oh Baby eojjeom areumdapgido haji! Naege oji nareul mitji jeoldae huhoehalli eobtji!"

Jaehyun: Now Everybody Party!

We all started moving around in the car, making my parents laugh. We all sang until the very last note of the song, then we all bursted out laughing. This is why I love my family so much. There is no one who comforts me like them. I am so lucky to have them.

We got to the restaurant and just like I had wished for it, there were not a lot of people. We were lead to our table by one of the waiters, who immediately recognized Jessica and I. She was cute trying not to make it obvious.

My family and I ordered our food and chatted while waiting for it to be ready. The dinner was perfect, and when midnight rang, they brought me a cake.

My mother took a bunch of photos, and I really had the best time ever. Thinking back at it, I would not have wanted to spend it with anyone else than my family.

When I got home I had a cup of hot chocolate with my brother just as he had promised. He had insisted for me to go to bed right after, and even helped me to Jessica and I's bedroom.

Jaehyun: Make sure that she gets a long night of sleep, Noona.

Jessica: Alright, little boy! Goodnight!

He left the room after some more nagging. I could have sworn that he was my mother for a minute.

Jessica: Now tell me everything. What happened?

Soojung: What do you mean?

Jessica: Soojung, tell me the truth. What happened between Jongin and you that makes you look so out of it lately? It's been going on for weeks now.

Soojung: I... There's nothing, really. It's just that lately I feel like we're loosing each other.

Jessica: What do you mean?

Soojung: We've not been talking that much, and I feel like I am somehow smothering him. With everything that has happened to him, he is very sensitive when it comes to work. And I feel like it is taking a toll on our relationship.

Jessica: Do you feel like he prioritizes his job over your relationship? Because, baby, that is why you both signed up for. Being idols and dating someone seriously and this young means that there are sacrifices that you are willing to make if you really want it to work. If you're not willing to accept that, then maybe you're not ready to date.

Soojung: I know that, and of course it is absolutely normal to focus on work. There are so many things we should be focused on, and the first one is to always thank our fans for their love by showing them the best work ever. I know that.

Jessica: But you still feel left out... Welcome to the world of dating idols, baby.

I looked at my sister before heaving a sigh. I knew that she was not trying to rub it in, but she was just telling me how it is. Jongin and I have always been aware that our jobs took the first place in our lives, but I never thought that it would cause us to drift apart like this.

Soojung: I am not blaming anyone, Eonnie... but I do think that I have the right to feel like this sometimes... I am still a girl in love.<